Waltzing With The Open Sea

My life, my mistakes, and all of the in betweens. 25 | Smokin hot husband | Mosby the cat | Sitcoms | Creating beautiful hair | Big bag of crazy ✂️✂️✂️ fght ff yr ddmns. wrt sngs n yr slp. fight yr dmns your DEMONS. w lv y. w mss y. i lv y s mch tht t hrts m hd.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[parksanrec-deactivated20171215]

I’m the guy from the lady and the tramp who gives stray dogs pasta and stands in an alleyway playing an accordion for them

[ithelpstodream]

[phantom-of-notre-dame]

Ducklings: MOMOMOMOMOMOMOMMMMM

Mama: It’s okay. Just… Jump

[plumgall]

The sexiest thing about me?

Everything hurts my feelings

[catchymemes]

[fukushima-kamikrazee-war-boy]

I know this is a meaningless tumblr line but this was truly wild from start to finish

[essential-cleansing]

That was a wild ride 😂

[showerthoughtsofficial]

Trees live underground and use the above-ground part as a snorkel.

[wildlyunlikelybabe]

I fucking guess

[asia1ei]

past tense of william shakespeare? william shookspeare

[the-cloud-road]

Wouldiwas Shookspeared

[canthinkofaurl-deactivated20221]

delete this

[travalicious]

[chavvesty]

“i don’t care,” i say, caringly, as i care deeply

[owldude]

*sees moon* *remembers outer space* nice

[supermegahijabi]

Know their names and their stories.

[maxknightley]

for real, though, why do recipes consistently tell you to use less herbs and spices in than you should. fuck your “two cloves of garlic,” fuck your “half teaspoon of cinnamon,” and you can absolutely go to hell with your “dash of black pepper”

[maxknightley]

I’m pretty sure that the only time I’ve ever actually managed to overseason food was when working with balsamic vinegar, which is the most overpowering motherfucker of a sauce known to man

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i appreciate the energy and anger in this post, which is righteous and just

[alexisthenedd]

A friend once tried to replicate my burrito bowl recipe from the same online link I used and was upset it didn’t come out as flavorful, so I had to tell him to imagine that every online recipe is written by a midwestern white lady who thinks ketchup is spicy and adjust the spices accordingly. He nailed those burrito bowls next time.

[yesbothways]

“imagine that every online recipe is written by a midwestern white lady who thinks ketchup is spicy and adjust the spices accordingly“

[showerthoughtsofficial]

The most dangerous game is resting your eyes after you turned off the alarm clock in the morning

[anxietyproblem]

[lord-kitschener]

when you get new followers

[pr1nceshawn]

The Best ATM Withdrawal Defense

[alexanders-archives]

I’m here for women with powerful dogs!

[urocyonfox-deactivated20210104]

My land lady is a 90lb 88 year old woman with 5 full grown Rottweiler boys. They sit around her when she gardens and watch her like the secret service. If you show up to pay rent they all stand up and stand between you and her.

It’s intimidating to have 5 pony size boys all staring at you until she stands up realizes it’a you and walks to you.

My favorite part is she wades through them like swamp water saying in her cute old voice ‘move’ ‘move please’ and each one she nudges to move wags his whole body at her touch and stumbles out of the way like he’s been knocked over by a truck. It gives me life paying my rent.

[clubkidandcollectives]