A story about how I manifested my first SP 15 years ago.
Let’s set the stage. The year is 2010. Half of LOA and shifting community probably wasn’t even born yet. I’m 14 soon to be 15. A teenage girl with a lot of anger issues and obsession with Twilight books and movies.
It was April (I think) and I was walking to my school with a bag full of costumes for some competition. Why did agree to lend them all these costumes in a first place? It’s so late, like 7 pm and I could be playing my pirated sims 2.
So anyway. I walk into my school. It’s empty since it’s after school hours and every sane person is at home. But not me. I’m walking towards my classroom. I hear voices. Some I recognise and some I don’t. I remembered that we were collaborating with some older students for this competition. I walk into the classroom and the first person I see is Him. Let’s call him A.
I’ve never seen A before in my life. But at that very moment I knew what love at first sight was. A was just sitting in the middle of the classroom like a fckn centrepiece. And in that moment he became a centre of my 14 (soon to be 15) year old-self life. It was such an intense feeling for a girl that didn’t feel mush in her life save for suppressed anger and irritation for every breathing human. My heart was pounding, my mind was all over the place but my face was 😐
My face didn’t betray that at that moment this A turned my life upside down by simply sitting on a chair 🪑
And it was around that time when I discovered a law of attraction and movie The Secret. With that movie my journey of manifestation has began. I don’t remember much about the contents of that movie, but I remember that the key to manifestation (according to Rhonda Byrne) was positive thoughts and emotions, feeling grateful and imagining.
Even though right now I have very different beliefs about manifestation, that movie has awoken the Creator in me. I realised that the world is indeed more than what it seems to be and that the power of my inner self can attract whatever I desired.
And what did I desire back then? It was A. With all my 14-year-old heart. So I started applying some lessons from that movie. I remember I was imagining how he would hold me in his arms, kiss me and tell me that he loved me. I would do that whenever I felt like it.
Normally during the shower 🚿🙃
Mind you, I never actually felt like I already had my desire. I was saying words of gratitude for being with A even though I knew I wasn’t with him. I was saying it TO manifest him.
During summer holidays we started chatting over icq (if you are not a millennial-icq was a popular messenger back then). It was just a friendly chat. He was telling me about a girl he had fallen in love with but she didn’t like him back and I thought how could she be so stupid?!
I think I did feel some disappointment and hurt that he liked someone that wasn’t me. But as we continued chatting I had this inner knowing that at some point he would be mine.
For couple months we stopped talking much. I think at some point during the summer months he texted me and said that he and the girl he liked got together and were dating. I said that I was happy for them and sent my best wishes. Internally I moved on but was still pretty much in love with him.
Over the next few months we didn’t talk much. But I started to get some attention from other boys in my school who were 2-3 years older than me and it was pretty exciting for a 15 year old girl to receive attention from 17-18 year old boys. I would chat to some, flirt with some, even had a little “fling” with a boy who would greet me at a bus station near school, kiss me on my cheek and wouldn’t say a word while walking me to classes 😅He mostly talked to me in messenger but not in real life.
It lasted couple weeks lol. But no matter who I chatted with or who kissed me on cheek, my heart was loyal to A. And that inner knowing that at some point he would be mine never went away. It was there. Very deep down.
I just was living my life and not really worrying about whether my manifestation would come to fruition or not.
At some point we started talking again. He told me about how he and that girl broken up. I said that I was sorry and I did feel for him because he was heartbroken and I didn’t like seeing him that way. Deep down I knew that I would make him forget about her.
We started talking more and more. Friendly chat became a flirty one.
I remember that one time where I was helping to clean up the cafeteria at school and he handed me his tray and smiled at me. I nearly passed out.
So anyway, I long stopped doing manifestation techniques, I stoped visualising, affirming. I simply had this inner knowing that he would be mine. And about a year after since I first saw him sitting in a middle of that classroom he became mine. We started dating. The moment he texted me “Do you want to be my girlfriend?” I started screaming and crying and running around our apartment.
On my 16th birthday I heard sweet words: “I love you” and I was the happiest girl in the world.
I did it. I manifested him. All the visuals I was imagining became real. Every single one of them. At some point I even told him “I manifested you”. He laughed and said “sure” while kissing me.
He didn’t believe me. But I knew. I did it. I DID IT.
It worked not because I used visualisation techniques or affirming words of gratitude. It worked because I had inner knowing that he would be mine. Eventually. I didn’t care that he loved someone else. I didn’t care when they started dating. I did feel disappointed. I let it be. I moved on with my life while having this inner knowing that he would be mine.
That knowing wasn’t loud. It was like a whisper. Sometimes it was hardly detectable especially when he was in love with someone else. But it was there. And what was the most significant factor is that I never looked for confirmation that my manifestation was working, I never cared how long it was taking me to manifest him.
Back then I wasn’t even a part of any manifestation community. I used internet solely to pirate games and movies. I wasn’t researching more about manifesting, I wasn’t looking for proof or success stories. I was solely relying on my inner knowing. It was all I had.
I wasn’t questioning myself if I was doing it right because I had nothing to compare it to. Now we have this amazing community with so many success stories and more information about how to manifest. But with this abundance of information there comes self doubt and comparison.
When you see a success story “I manifested X within 2 days” you start questioning why it hasn’t worked for you even though you are doing the same thing.
I didn’t have access to all this knowledge we have now. I just decided that I wanted A and knew he was going to be mine. And it was enough.
I was relying solely on myself. I didn’t question if it was working or not. I moved on with my life and it happened.
So please, stop looking for more info and confirmation. You already know how to manifest. You know it. Start relying on yourself. You won’t find another piece of information that will make it click for you.
Decide that what you want is yours. Or WILL be yours like it was for me. Know it. No matter what 3d is showing. Know it’s yours. And move on. Live your life. Sometimes your knowing will be very strong and loud, sometimes it will be like a whisper. Let the 3d do its thing. It’s just for the drama.