[ i'll be a better man ]

Shiloh Austin Collins 28 years old Surgical Resident & Bartender "I'll be good for all the times that I never could."

[shilohcollins]

harleykincaid:

There wasn’t much else she could do for him apart from hold him tightly in hopes that it would keep him from falling in pieces at her feet. The last thing she wanted was to watch another person come undone while she stood helpless before them. Sighing into the fabric of his shirt, she pulled back slowly when she heard her name being whispered in a voice that still remained broken and defeated, but somehow a little stronger than moments prior. “Of course. I’ll take you home.” Nodding her head, she smiled reassuringly at him. She was here, sober, and her car was in the parking lot – there was no reason he should be driving or taking a taxi. Besides, she would feel a lot safer knowing she had tucked him into bed. Smiling as she felt his cheek upon her cheek and forehead pressed into hers, the brunette allowed her hands to slide down his sides until she reached his hand. Tightening hers around his, she began to lead him towards the exit. Walking slowly as to ensure he didn’t trip behind him in his drunken stupor. “Come on, we’ll get you some water and advil too.”

“You’re always way too nice to me, you know that?” He slurred, letting Harley pull him gently through the bar. He was lucky that she was here and willing to take him home, knowing full well that he didn’t deserve her kindness after the way he acted earlier that evening. She’d been surprisingly nice and comforting when any other woman would have pulled away, hurt by his harsh words and angry with him for treating them like such. Maybe this meant that Harley did feel the same for him, something he’d always wondered, but had been too afraid to ask aloud. Their relationship had always been slightly touch and go and it was only of recent that they started being more than just a bartender and his client. “Hey, Harls? Can I ask you something?” He prodded quietly. He’d regret asking her about her feelings, but right now he was just drunk enough to not care. 

[shilohcollins]

diana-hoffman:

“I’m still a little shocked that it gets this cold here. I didn’t even bring a jacket to walk out to my car.” Diana panted as she continued to run on the treadmill. She was still getting used to her new home in Charleston and the one real constant had been her daily gym routine. “Are you done already?” She said turning her head to the familiar face.

“You’ll get used to it.” Shiloh replied in a quiet tone, trying to even his breathing as he reached his last minute on his machine. He slowed it down to a stop and hopped off, swiping the back of his hand across his forehead. As of lately, he’d taken to the gym to work out his frustrations over everything that was going on in his life, the hard workouts being the perfect distraction from the stress of work and his father’s death. “Of course I am, I’ve got other things to work out.” He smirked, tempted to lift up the hem of his shirt to give the blonde a sneak peek of the six pack that was hiding underneath. 

[shilohcollins]

Ava ✉ miss lockwood

Ava: What would you say if I told you I just got a hug from Nicki Minaj?

Shiloh: I'd ask if you enjoyed being smushed by them big ol' titties...

[shilohcollins]

arizonaclark:

“No, but I might’ve invited you back to mine too,” she replied with a small laugh, turning down another street. She shrugged, “I don’t know. You were tumbling a little bit back at the bar.” Arizona took a deep breath, the cold air from the open window feeling nice. “No,” she said honestly, “but it’s nothing you need to concern yourself with now. You’ve got things to worry about, I’ve got this handled.” 

“Well nearly falling on my ass is far different from projectile vomiting in your car.” He pointed, suppressing the urge to laugh. Shiloh let his hand fall away, placing it back in his own lap as he nodded his head in response. He wanted to take care of her, she like she had him because that’s what friends did, but he didn’t know if he had the strength to pretend like he was okay enough right now to take care of her. “Can I tell you something if you promise not to make fun of me or run around repeating it?”

[shilohcollins]

harleykincaid:

Harley was angry at herself for not being able to tell him the right things. She was never good at any of this as she internalized many of her emotions and allowed them to remain hidden as much as she could. Emotions were not her forte and all she wanted to do was reach out and hug him, but every time he pulled away from her – it made her rethink that decision. Fiddling with the label of her drink, she pulled and tugged on it’s corners while listening to him speak. Every word shattered her heart until Harley finally turned towards him and took in the tears rolling along his cheek. “Shiloh,” the brunette breathed as she reached out to wipe the fallen tears from his cheeks. While her best judgement told her that he may not want to be touched, she couldn’t help but move forward and wrap her arms around him tightly. “He knows, Shiloh. You’re his son – of course he knows that you were angry and that you loved him.” Harley attempted to soothe him as she bunched the material of his shirt in her fist. “I know that some people think differently, but I’d like to think that there’s always going to be a part of them here with you. The ones that leave this world, and I’d like to think they can hear you.” It was something she’d told herself as she found herself talking aloud to her child, the one she’d … killed. It helped her a lot. It was perhaps stupid, but maybe if it helped her – it could do the same for Shiloh. “He knows you love him.”

Despite everything in him that urged to flinch away from her touch, Shiloh’s arms slid around Harley’s waist and pulled her to him as he let his tears fall down his cheeks. Her touch only pushed him further over the edge, the safe feeling he got with her arms wrapped around him making him sad. He’d been so rude to Harley, someone he cared for so much, when she’d only been trying to help him. Why was he like this? Why did he push away people he needed when needed the most? It was a habit he’d had for a long time, and he thought maybe he’d broken it once he’d gotten into his adulthood, but apparently he hadn’t. “Harley?” Shiloh spoke quietly, pulling away slightly, but keeping the girl in his embrace. “Will you take me home, please? I really can’t be here anymore and I certainly can’t drive.” Running a hand gently across her cheek, he let his eyes scan over her face, before leaning in to place a soft kiss on her lips. “Thank you.” Was all he said, letting his forehead rest against hers, his eyes closing as he waited for her answer about taking him home.

[shilohcollins]

arizonaclark:

“Of course, I’m not going to leave you alone,” she told him. She pulled her keys and opened her car. “You have nothing to thank me for,” she said, “you’d do the same for me.” She pulled out of her parking spot and headed toward his place, “Please don’t throw up in my car.” She teased.

Shiloh plopped himself in her passenger seat, leaning his head against the window as she spoke, a tiny laugh exiting his throat. “You’re right, I would do the same for you. I wouldn’t try and get you back to my place though, I’m way too much of a gentleman for that.” He rolled down her window despite the slight chill in the air and leaned his head against the frame to get some cold air going in his face. “I won’t. I can hold my alcohol, you know.” He set his gaze on Arizona, reaching a hand across the middle console to rest on her knee. “Are you okay? You seem different.”

[shilohcollins]

arizonaclark:

“Oh yeah, that’s exactly like me,” she said, leaving a few bills on the bar top to cover her beer and whatever tab he’d added up. “Maybe I’ll just dump you in your bed.”

“I’d be okay with that. As long as you stay in it with me.” He responded, his small smirk still in tact as he waited for her to pay, too drunk to offer it himself. “Thank you, by the way. For being here.” Shiloh commented softly, his eyes filling with appreciation for the girl.

[shilohcollins]

arizonaclark:

Arizona finished her beer and nodded, “Let’s go. Your place is closer.”

Shiloh slid off his stool, stumbling slightly before he managed to gain his balance, giving Arizona a weak smile. “Just like you to take advantage of me after I’ve got a few drinks in me.”

[shilohcollins]

↳ ·INSTAGRAM: @drsexyshiloh uploaded a new photo

I swear to drunk i’m not God 

↳ 65 LIKES, 12 COMMENTS

View all 12 comments

[shilohcollins]

austinmaimes:

“Ouch, so feisty! What did I ever do to you!?”

“You have to have wronged me to have me wanting to chop off your dick? Interesting. Here I thought not wanting your male anatomy touching me was enough of a reason.”

[callmebyyour-destiny]

[shilohcollins]

harleykincaid:

Harley let out a sigh and nodded her head when he corrected her. “Your father is dead. But you were the only person who knew how he truly was and I get that you’re angry at him and yourself. I don’t think there’s a specific set of rules for this kind of thing. Grieving, it’ll eat you alive if you let it. No matter what you’re feeling, it doesn’t make you a bad person.” She paused, watching as he attempted to brush off her hand. Dropping her hands in her lap, Harley chewed on her lower lip and tilted her head forward for a moment. There was no right words she could say to make any of this better, and she was suddenly at a loss of where to go from here. Well, until he spoke. “Hey, I’m not going anywhere. You’re not a bad person, Shiloh. Trust me, I know bad people and you’re not it. Not even close.” Glancing at the bartender for another round, the brunette smiled softly. “You’re good. A better person than most people I know.”

The second the encouragement left her lips, everything that Shiloh had been spending his evening biting back seemed to the surface, his tough facade fading away with every second. That’s what his father would always tell him. Even when Shiloh would show up at the prison he was being held in, incredibly angry with his father, the man would still spend his free time telling Shiloh how proud of him he was and how he’d become a better man than he’d ever hoped for. It was something he’d always needed to hear from his dad, seeing as he had spent most of his life trying to be the best person he could possibly be, but he’d never allowed the words to truly sink in because of the hatred he held for his father. ‘You’ll never understand how proud I am of you, Shiloh.’ The last words his father ever spoke to him rattled around his head, breaking every wall that he’d put up to keep out feeling the loss. “My father used to be my hero.” Shiloh choked out, tears brimming his eyes. “And I’ve spent my whole life being so mad at him that he died thinking that I was ashamed of him and didn’t love him.” He’d tried so hard to hold them back knowing he’d never stop if he started, but now the tears were spilling down onto his cheeks and Shiloh couldn’t do anything to stop them. “I’ll never get to tell him that I love him, Harley.”

[shilohcollins]

sabrinambrooks:

All Sabrina wanted was to go in grab a quick beer, then go home and sleep for a few hours. The list of errands she had to run in the morning before they all were required to be on set tomorrow was pilling up, it was starting to become a now or never type of thing. Walking into the bar she saw some of the regulars looming around with their usual drinks, doing their usual activities. The one unusual thing was to see Shiloh sitting on the other side of the bar. She’d met him quite a few times due to filming at his job. “Hey.” Grinning as she walked towards him. At his response though she was slightly taken back, she stood there speechless for a few moments. “Sorry. I’ll buy you another for at least bothering you.” Waving her hand towards the bartender to signal him over. “Can I have a beer please?” Asking politely, then she motioned towards the boy a stool away. “Also give him another and just put it on my tab.” Hanging over her card, to the bartender, and she sat on an empty bar stood. 

“I can buy my own beer.” Shiloh replied quietly, not looking at the female. Though what she was doing was a rather kind gesture, he wasn’t in the mood for niceties. Sabrina was someone he considered an acquaintance, the two spending their fair share of time together within the walls of the bar, and even though he hated the world right now, Shiloh couldn’t find it in him to be rude to girl. They’d always had fun when they hung out and she didn’t know him well enough to understand what was going on so the least he could do was not be a total dick to her. “Sorry, that was rude of me. Thank you.” He said again as the girl sat down next to him, his long fingers massaging first his temples before they moved down to rub at his tired eyes. “Long night or did someone you know die too?”

[shilohcollins]

CALL | S Collins

Camille: "How is worrying about my cousin and asking you not to shut me out because I know that's what you'd do mothering you, Shiloh?"

Shiloh: "I don't want or need your help, Camille so let it the hell go." Shiloh growled angrily into the receiver before hanging up.

[shilohcollins]

arizonaclark:

Arizona frowned, everything with Deacon and Juliana rushing back to her with his question. “Probably not. But I’m not going to do that with you when someone else is in the picture for you now,” she told him. 

“I don’t think that’s going to work out. I’ve got a strong feeling that she doesn’t exactly like me the same way I do her and I don’t plan on wasting anymore time with it.” He sighed, raking a hand through his scalp. “Please? Not to play the dead father card, but it would take my mind off it for a little.”

[shilohcollins]

☺♥♚♦♫(THESE ARE A LOT I KNOW BUT ALSO AVA AND SHILOH ARE BROTP. AND ALSO I SWEAR I'M REPLYING TO THE ANGSTY THREAD SOON. BYE LOVE YOOOOU)

☺: for a happy voicemail

“Hey, Rockstar. Just wanted to call and tell you that I miss you and that I need some serious downtime with you soon. My life is so empty without my daily dose of Ava. In fact, I’m thinking about quitting my dream of saving lives just so I can be at the bar 24/7 just in case your famous little ass walks in and decides to grace me with her presence. Anyway, call me back or I’ll hunt you down and kill you.”

♥ : for a loving voicemail

“Look, I don’t get real mushy most of the time because I’m a man and I have a reputation to uphold, but I just wanted to let you know that I’m so incredibly proud of you, Av. Though our friendship started in weird a way, I’m thankful to call you my best friend and so lucky to be able to brag to everyone else about how lame their best friends are because mine’s an actress and extremely hot. Don’t let anyone take away what makes you special because you are going to be something so great one day, Miss Lockwood and I’ll get to say ‘That girl is my best friend.’”

♚ : for a confessing voicemail

“Hey. I know you’re busy and I get that, but I really wanted to tell you something. It’s more of a face to face thing, but I guess that this works too. I just wanted to let you know that I stole a pair of skinny jeans from your apartment once.....and maybe a shirt too... I had a date that really needed them because she spilt wine all over herself, but we weren’t anywhere near my house and I figured that you wouldn’t mind because you’ve got a nice sense of style. Also, I don’t think you’ll be getting them back either because that was awhile ago and I may have forgotten to call the girl after. Don’t ask how I got in your place because you don’t want to know. Okay, bye!”

♦: for an apologetic voicemail

“I know you’ve been super busy lately and I wanted to call and apologize for being such a shit friend. I realize that this whole communication thing works two ways and I feel awful for yelling at you for being a crappy friend when I’ve probably been just as crappy. You didn’t deserve that and I’m sorry. I promise that I’ll try to get better at the communication thing if you promise to also pick up the phone and call me once and awhile, ok?”

♫: for a vague voicemail

“Hey....so....I know you’re probably filming right now which is rad like go Ava, but is there anyway that you could come down to the docks really quick and bring a blanket or something.....or possibly a change of clothes.....or even just some underwear. Don’t ask why....just get here quick please....”

[mrbenwyatt]