In her last few days, rose’s mind had regularly wandered to what happened once your eyes shut permanently. once there was no longer a life left to live, regardless of how much life there WAS left to live, what happened? where would she go? the questions occupied her brain. the last thing that she had ever wanted to do was to leave behind her family when they needed her the most. a loving husband, two perfect children. the most gorgeous family that she had spent her whole life wishing for, and now that she had it … she didn’t get even half as long as she deserved with them. the world dealing her a cruel blow for no particular reason at all. maybe the afterlife or heaven ( whatever was waiting for her ) wouldn’t have been so bad if she had been able to have a window down onto what was happening to her loved ones. how would they move on in life without her there? surely it would get easier as time went on, especially after giving her sister strict instructions to check in on them regularly if anything happened to her — but she just couldn’t bring herself to imagine the upset and pain that the small group of people were going to feel. all she could hope was that they weren’t going to forget her over time.
the crossover into death had been strange, but peaceful nonetheless. all of a sudden the pain had stopped and it was like everything that had been weighing her down had suddenly just disappeared. like she was finally able to just breathe … which felt weird considering she was, you know — dead. opening her eyes on the other side, she was greeted by a dark room. that was it. nobody else, just her. no window into the real world to check in on her family, no way of knowing how they were doing. it also didn’t help that she had no sense of time in that room either. not a single bit. how long had it been since she had shown up there? and how long was she going to be there? maybe this was it. maybe there wasn’t a heaven or a hell, just a dark room. an infinity of nothingness to just get caught in your own thoughts. nothing like your own company to make you realise everything you could’ve done if only you had the time. almost acting as a subtle form of self-torture. that was until everything seemed to change. there was a sudden pull on her being, followed by the faint sound of what sounded like carlos and julie calling out for her. it started off quiet, almost as if it was just her own mind playing cruel tricks on her, until it progressively got louder to the point that it was echoing in the room around her. then before she could comprehend what was happening, she was there; back in the all so familiar studio that she spent so much time in. the place that julie had grown up in alongside her. albeit decorated slightly differently, the instruments she remembered belonging to some old friends back from her teenage years.
head lifts almost immediately at the familiar voice, the warm feeling in her heart a big jump from the coldness that she had become accustomed to. fingertips still dancing over the piano keys in the same tune before it came to a gradual stop. a blended mix between a gasp and a soft sigh slipping from her lips as it dawns on her that the girl stood on the opposite side of the room really was her daughter, further realisation bringing her to the conclusion that the teenager HAD infact been able to hear the music. a small feat considering that she figured that julie wouldn’t have been able to see her. after all, as far as she was aware … there wasn’t any way that somebody living would be able to see someone over a year after their passing! yet the way that julie looked, followed by the word that was so familiar and the last thing she remebered hearing in the hospital room, told her a complete different story. “ Mija. ” her voice cracked, tears immediately welling up in her eyes as she slowly rose to her feet and travelled around the side of the piano. not wanting to move too quickly and startle the young girl. how could she see her right now? uncertainty. fear. all emotions that she was feeling right there and then. not wanting to reach out and disturb the image infront of her incase it just disappeared. tears streaming down her face as she slowly inched towards the female. “ is this real? can you really see me right now? ” if she was dreaming then she just wanted to wake up before she settled in with the idea that this could actually be happening. taking in as much of her daughter as she could through the blurred vision caused by her tears. “ Hi, baby girl. ”
there is no shaking the feeling that she’s having the most vivid, beautiful & horrible dream she’s had in the longest time. she used to dream of her so much in the first months after the funeral ----- it was almost like this, but not quite. her dreams would always end with her disappearing from sight or with some unknown force pulling her away from her mother’s touch. they would always end with her waking up in excruciating pain, crying until numbness took over. it broke her family’s heart. she’s done too much work to end up right where she started. “ you’re not here, this isn’t --- “ she’s choked up before she knows it, hands lifting to wipe away tears that simply don’t seem to stop. “ this isn’t real. “
but then she speaks ---- this never happened in her dreams. she speaks & she needs to hold onto the door of the garage not to fall to her knees. if her dad or carlos were around, she sincerely doubts she’d be able to hold it together. her cover would be completely blown. she’d be sent back to therapy. maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing. “ mami... please tell me i’m dreaming. “ the reality of this feels scarier than any nightmare she’s ever had & the tremor in her voice shows it. if she’s really here, the inevitablity of having to go through losing her again solidifes. but at the same time... how many times did she wish she could hug her again ? talk to her again ? how many times did she pray she could spend even five more minutes in her presence ?
what if these are her five minutes ? the skepticism, the denial, they fade away from her eyes as she finally takes a full step in & closes the door behind her, slowly deciding to meet the other halfway, the sobs harder to control the closer the two of them become. her energy is palpable. it has to be real. her face softens & all she can think of is jumping in her arms. the fear of disappointment, not knowing if that’s even possible, stops her before she can reach out. but she takes instead a few more moments to marvel at the puzzling turn her day has taken. “ i can see you ----- how... how are you here ? “
snowghoul
blakekathryn
dailybridgerton
romaincrisis
