a word for 'bad miracle' side bit: a night at the movies
Izuku knows from the way Hinataâs shoulders are set as they leave that she did not enjoy the pastâhow long was it? Jesus, nearly three hours. And thatâs not counting previews. Yeah, she didnât enjoy the past three hours of her life at all.
He has the decency, though, to wait until the crowd thins out and theyâre away from the lobby full of children excited for the screening of the new Preyure movie to finally open his mouth about it.
âSo, how much of that was accurate?â
The intake of breath Hinata takes beside him is dangerous. Izuku knows because he also makes the exact same gesture before his own hobby related crashouts, and braces for the explosion with all the patience years of friendship with Katsuki trained him to have.
His sister does not disappoint.
âFUCKING NONE OF IT!â
As her parent, Izuku knows he should scold her for cursing. Itâs rude and very unbecoming of a young girl. As a fellow lunatic obsessive, however, he knows sheâll feel better being able to vent her frustration.
Hinata tears at her hair, fingers curling in the strands with a manic tremble, and makes a noise somewhere between grinding rocks and a dying whale.
âWHO THE HELL GREENLIT AN ODYSSEY ADAPTATION WHERE THEY DONâT EVEN INCLUDE NOBODY!?â
âIs Nobody important?â Izuku asks, opening the door for them to leave the theater building. Thank god he knows he side streets to get home, he absolutely cannot take her on the train like this.
âNOBODY IS A LOAD BEARING PUN, AND IS THE THING ODYSSEUS IS MOST FAMOUS FOR!â She screeches into the night, garnering a few looks from passerby who quickly scuttle away as she stomps down the sidewalk. âThe ENTIRE POINT of his ten year quest is because he FUCKED UP! WhichâWHY THE HELL IS THIS MOVIE NOT LETTING THE GODS BE INVOLVED PLAYERS!? THEYâRE THE WHOLE REASON HE WAS AT WAR! APHRODITE DIRECTLY CAUSED THE TROJAN WAR BY GIFTING HELEN TO PARIS!â
âParis the city?â Izuku asks, momentarily confused.
Itâs almost impressive how she pivots from rage to calm, offering a single finger to note a correction. âNo, Paris the city got the name from the Celtic Parisii tribe, itâs actually unrelated to the prince of Troy.â
âOh.â Huh. You learn something new every day. âTo be honest a lot of names in the movie slipped by me after a while, I canât pronounce most of them.â
âAnywayâthe WHOLE POINTâOdysseus is favored by Athena because UNLIKE ALL THE OTHER JACKASSES IN GREECE heâs a clever man with wit who uses wiles and trickery over brute force! Heâs the goddamn Solid Snake of Greece in terms of how sneaky he is! He TRICKS Polyphemus the cyclops by telling him his name is Nobody, so then when he blinds him and Polyphemus cries for help, he tells his brethren that NOBODY BLINDED ME! And Odysseus is so jazzed about it that he fucks up and gets too hubristic and it winds up pissing off Poseidon, because all of the cyclops are his children, and Poseidon keeps fucking up his entire life as revenge which drags the journey on even longer!â
âHuh. Why wasnât it in the movie, then?â Izuku wonders out loud.
âTHATâS WHAT IâM SAYING! THEY FILED HIS EDGES OFF TO KEEP HIM BLAMELESS FOR EVERYTHING!â Hinata throws her hands up. âNOT TO MENTION WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT COSTUMING DEPARTMENT? WHERE DID YOU GET YOUR COSTUMES FROM, FUCKING TEMU? HAVE SOME FUCKING DIGNITY, THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A MYTHICAL AGE OF MYCENAEAN GREECE!â
Izuku nods along, steering them down a shortcut which will hopefully keep them away from any crowds. âThey did seem a little lackluster.â
âNOT TO MENTION THE FUCKING EGREGIOUSâI cannot stand it when writers imprint modern sensibilities all over a historical story! THEY WOULDNâT BE SELF REFERENCING THE BRONZE AGE! THEY WOULDNâT BE ACTING LIKE THIS! THE PAST IS A FOREIGN COUNTRY! THEY DO THINGS DIFFERENT THERE! PENELOPE DOES NOT NEED TO BE A GIRLBOSS! SHE AND ODYSSEUS DIDNâT INVENT HOMOPHROSYNE FOR THIS!â
âWhat does that word mean, exactly?â Izuku prompts. He checks his phone for messages and taps one out to Shouto about how the night is going.
He gets a question back if this is as bad as the time Izuku lost his mind over the trading card minting assholes ruining the Hero Card market. Izuku is only slightly offended. His crashout was entirely justified.
But this one is, yes. He admits as much before pocketing his phone again.
âPenelope and Odysseus are so in tune with each other that they understand each other on a soul level and can cotton on to when the other is running a con without ever needing to be told. Itâs beautiful, honestly. One of the healthier marriages in Greek myths,â Hinata explains.
âDidnât you say the same thing about Hades?â
âThe bar is literally in hell with the Greeks, and also historically speaking Persephone most likely was a later incarnation of Ishtar so her being kidnapped was likely a later addition to explain the context of a fearsome Underworld goddess who also represents springââ Hinata starts, before catching herself and frowning. âIâm getting off topic. GOD I hate this movie. What the hell was that set and color design? Why the FUCK is everything greige!? In GREECE!? Some of the bluest oceans and most beautiful scenery on the planet and NO FUCKING COLOR anywhereââ
Other parents probably would be criticizing him for letting her go this long. But other parents donât really know his child like he does, so Izuku thinks they can buzz off and let him handle this hobby related meltdown how he thinks is best.
Does he know anything about any of these myths? Not really. Not since he read a mythology book once in fifth grade, but Greek heroes arenât really inspiring like real life ones so he got bored of it pretty quick. Hercules was a jerk. No, wait. Heracles. Hinata told him his name was actually Heracles. He does remember that.
ââcompletely PASSIVE for the first TWO ACTSâitâs like he doesnât know what a PROTAGONIST isââ
Oh, sheâs doing the hand waving he does when heâs really into it. The kind where sheâs seconds away from hitting someone on purpose with her rage.
âWhy even make the movie if youâre going to miss the point?â
âTHATâS WHAT IâVE BEEN WONDERING THIS WHOLE DAMN TIME!â
With all the side roads and meandering pathways, it should take them about...40 minutes or so to get home. By then sheâll have gotten most of it out of her system and just want to shower and go to bed. By his calculations, anyway. He may have to soothe the savage beast with a treat of some kind. As much as taiyaki gives him some weird PTSD response these days, he knows thereâs a stand somewhere around here she likesâŠ
âAre you even listening?â Hinata asks, and he looks down at her with a half smile.
âOf course. Youâre talking about hubris as a cultural sin and how Odysseus still being an asshole is important to the narrative.â
She raises an eyebrow, but does continue. Heâll steer them to the stand and hopefully sugar will offset her mood.
Heâll still be listening, though. He always listens. Heâs shocked sheâd think he wouldnât.
