Shiganshina, The Barracks
Bill slept fitfully and then didn't, jerking into consciousness so suddenly and completely that his heart hammered against his ribcage and he couldn't help but scrabble and grip at the sheets, trying to steady himself. The barracks was quiet - Bill peered toward the large clock at the other end of the hall but couldn't make out the time. Whenever it was, though, he was pretty sure he wasn't going to make it back to sleep right away.
He fumbled for his trousers, wrinkled and tangled up at the foot of his bed, and put them on with a worn out undershirt, shook the hair out of his eyes and padded outside barefoot. He needed a smoke, or fresh air, or something to calm his goddamn nerves.
Outside on the barracks porch, though, Bill wasn't alone. He tapped his packet of cigarettes against his palm, eyeing the figure seated on the steps. The other man's back was turned so Bill couldn't see his face, and he contemplated how easy it would be to sneak back inside unnoticed, or hop the railing, go someplace more private. The other man turned, just then, to look at him, and Bill recognized Lieutenant Lake, from Karanese. They had been in the same cadet corps, and while they weren't particularly close, Bill remembered one fleeting fact about Greg Lake's life before the military that made him stride over, sit down, and offer the other man a cigarette.
Greg took the cigarette, thoughtfully rolling it between his forefinger and thumb before placing it between his lips. "Thanks," he said. "Got a match?"
Bill lit Greg's cigarette, then his own, inhaling deeply and trying to compose his thoughts.
"Say," he said, finally, immediately wincing at his own word choice. "You uh, you came up with Fripp, yeah?"
Greg took a long drag on his cigarette. "Yeah, I did."
Bill paused, unsure how to continue. "Was he always so..." He let the sentence hang there. It was difficult to describe Colonel Fripp in words besides "terrifying" and "alien."
To Bill's intense relief, Greg chuckled. He took another drag before turning to Bill. "Yeah, I guess. I mean..." He bit his lip in thought. "Well it's not like he's really everything he seems now."
Bill raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"
Greg laughed again. "Oh well you know, I knew him when we were just kids, so. I guess he's quite particular but once you get past all that..." He stared out into the night sky, squinting at the stars. "I don't know. I mean it's hard to describe. We're sort of two sides of the same coin, or that's what he used to say."
Bill tried to imagine what in the world Robert Fripp could have in common with the cherub-faced young soldier beside him. "Oh," he said.
"Why d'you ask?" Greg inquired, round face still turned to the sky.
Bill dragged hard at his cigarette. He didn't particuarly know Greg, and found it hard enough to speak frankly with people he liked. With Steve. "He's drafting me into the scouting legion tomorrow."
Greg spun to look at him. "Can he do that?"
"That's word on the street, anyway," Bill murmured.
Greg chewed on his lower lip, eyebrows knitted in thought. "So you want to know how to get him to let you off the hook." It was more of a statement than a question, but Bill nodded anyway. "Weren't you..." Greg started. "Wasn't scouting sort of your goal at the academy, though?"
Bill snorted. His reputation had preceded him. "Things change, Lake, you know that."
"I guess so." Greg tapped long, slender fingers against his thigh. "I don't know if there's anything I can really tell you. I mean, when Robert's set on a thing..."
"That's the best you've got?" Bill exclaimed. "What about all this 'two sides of the same coin' bullshit, surely you can do better than that."
Greg smiled sadly. "That's what I mean, I guess. I mean, we're both stubborn. If I was in his place there's not much you could do to dissuade me."
"So why aren't you colonel, then?" Bill snapped, and immediately wished he hadn't. Greg's face fell, and he he flicked the stub of his cigarette into the gravel.
"I had other priorities," he said shortly. "I could ask you the same, why's Squire a captain and you're still pulling grunt work on the wall?" His scowl invaded Bill's periphery, aggressive in its passivity.
"I wouldn't exactly say me and Squire are sides of the same coin," Bill snarled.
"Right, right," Greg huffed. "You were too busy failing to sleep with Steve Howe to think about going for a promotion."
Bill looked away. He stubbed the flickering butt of his cigarette out on the porch step before tossing it out into the darkness, scraped the dirt out from under this thumbnail before he faced Greg again. "Yeah. I guess so," he bit out. "But I just got a goddamn death sentence, so."
Greg chewed on his lip again. "It's not like he's heartless," he said finally.
"Fripp. He might not seem it, but he's a human being."
Bill blinked slowly, suddenly feeling bone tired. He rubbed at an ache in his wrist.
"Okay," he said finally. He flexed his bare feet, cracking his toes, the tight joints in his ankles. Stood up.
"Sorry," Greg said. He worried at the hem of his sleeve. "I guess."
Bill stumbled back inside, leaving Greg where he'd found him. The barracks was pitch dark, the lurking shapes of the bunks leaping out at him as he approached them. Steve was curled up, impossibly small, under a blanket, his hair over his eyes. Bill stood beside his bunk, waiting for his eyes to adjust until he could see all the details. Steve made soft breathing noises through the little gap in his teeth.
When Bill made it to his bunk and crawled under the covers with his clothes still on, pulling the blankets over his head. He heard the faint squeak of the door opening, of Greg coming into the barracks and making his way to his own bed.
He wondered what the chances were of him dying in his sleep, a heart attack, something peaceful. He wondered when he'd started wishing for such things.