will the rat become human?

"rats can be very smart. don't underestimate them."   Victoria | 17yo | Junior

[shinomiyaa-blog1]

riley.

Her hands  c a r e s s  the loose pieces of paper, the gesture more as if comforting a child than smoothing the material out.  More than the risk of being labelled as INSANE (she’s sure she’s long ago been called worse) due to the dozens of demonic depictions and candid nude illustrations she has, she worries about what the girl might think about her artistic talent.

“Wh-what were you d-doing, th-then??” Riley demands in a tone that was impossible HARSH, even for her.  She normally would’ve acted kinder towards strangers, or at least pretended to, but she considers anyone who has seen her drawings as an ENEMY, and therefore needs to be eliminated.  They’re UNWORTHY eyes who have seen too much.  They know too much.  They will use what they know to DESTROY me.

Victoria looks at the other girl. She observes her, the way her hands move on the papers, and she thinks that something is definitely off. She furrows at the harsh tone of the other; it reminds her of Amanda and of all the times she rebuked Victoria for NO REASON.  “I was just looking for a place where I could read my book in peace,” she not-entirely-lies, and without asking for permission, she sits to the table which the other girl was originally occupying, “I saw nobody sitting here and I thought ‘what kind of irresponsible, negligent, uneducated halfwit leaves their things on a table if they’re no longer occupying it?’” she takes a sip from her drink before she continues. “Glad to know that you’re not that kind of person, though.” She opens her book, but before she resumes to read from where she left, she looks up at the other girl one more time, “Since you just gathered your things in such haste, I assume that you’re leaving, yes?” 

[shinomiyaa-blog1]

riley.

With the way the glorious sun is shining outside, and the crystalline water is flowing to the shore, Riley could well understand how her fellow schoolmates would rather be outside that in.  Tall, concrete walls with  f a d i n g, pastel paint eventually gets tiring, especially since you know it’s a prison made to look like a paradise.  She, on the contrary, feels SUFFOCATION due to the overwhelming amount of people in the beach.  So, she decides to stay in, the in-resort cafe piquing her particularly peaceful soul.

Usually more PROTECTIVE of her sketchbook, she decides to take a quick bathroom break from her routinely sketching, leaving her priced belongings unguarded on one of the tables.  She figured that, since everyone was out basking in the heat anyway, surely there was no point worrying, right? Right??

“Oh… my GOD.” As soon as she spots the stranger standing at her table, she quickly scrambles up to them, gathering her papers in a messy heap in her hands.  Her eyebrows furrow as she regards the girl, her breath getting caught in her throat with every thump of her heart in her chest.

She loves art. She loves anything that is the result of a THINKING and CREATIVE MIND. She loves to try and understand what was going on in a person’s life when they decided to leave a piece of them to the world - whether it’s in the shapes of words, in the shapes of musical notation, in the shapes of painted, or drawn figures, or even shapeless and mere paint splashed on canvas. She loves to get into people’s minds that way, by studying and analyzing their art. As though she was having an endless conversation with them through their creations. 

In those moments, Victoria could even say that she even likes people.

But the journey back to reality is always PAINFUL and TRAUMATIC; it reminds her that endless are the reasons why she will probably never be able to really connect to people, and the feeling of alienation and loneliness hits her back stronger every time. 

The woman startles her, and Victoria lets out a spontaneous “fuck!”, because swearing (and being spontaneous) is what she does when she gets caught off guard.  “I’m sorry--” holy shit, “I mean, I’m not. I’m not sorry because I wasn’t doing anything bad.” Only now she takes a look at the other woman, who looks like she’s about to have a panic attack. “I wasn’t looking at your drawings. So calm down.” 

[shinomiyaa-blog1]

kaiminjae

A VICTORIOUS smirk spread on Min Jae’s lips. “Okay!” He clapped his hands, rubbing them together as if concocting an evil plot.

The girl was strange, and strange people find the strangest things interesting.  Challenges of making out with a banana might probably be a little too tame for the girl—who knows, she might’ve already done far WILDER things with one—so he took a moment, wracking his brains for something that could pull the girl out of her comfort zone.

“Okay,” he said again, clearing his throat. “I dare you to take off your hood.  And your shirt.”

Victoria stared at him, her eyes WIDE OPEN, as though he had just dared her to kill somebody. Actually, that would’ve been a hell easier of a task for her than taking off her hoodie (and shirt.) She swallowed hard, cursing herself a thousand times for accepting to play that stupid game. Her hands were on fire inside her pokets as she pushed them deeper and deeper, wishing she could jump inside too. 

“I can’t do that.” she said, her voice weaker than she expected. “Anything but that.” 

[shinomiyaa-blog1]

sunnyguanyu

              “ winter cold! i like fall most. leaves make it very orange, and it not too cold. “ guanyu admitted, his eyebrows furrowing as he noticed the girl was wearing a hoodie in the 32-ish degree heat. “ are you, hot? you wearing heavy clothes, when it almost 33 degrees. “ he asked, shifting how he was sitting on the lounge chair so he could face her better. “ taking off would help feel better! not hot! “

              “ autumn is like spring all over again... ” victoria muttered, quoting Albert Camus as the phrase cropped up in her mind. she didn’t expect it to ring a bell to the guy, of course he didn’t have the slightest idea what she was talking about. she sighed, “i am hot, but the hoodie stays on.” 

[shinomiyaa-blog1]

Bryanna.

       “ babe. ” DON’T TAKE it all too personally — she calls everyone that. “ you’re going to pass outfrom HEATSTROKE. and i really hope you’re not calling me or YOU a rat, ” she says with a laugh, running a hand through her hair. “ but if you don’t want to swim, you can just say no. ”

Victoria raises an eyebrow at the “endearing” term with which the other girl called her, and then she scoffs again, “ i wasn’t calling YOU a rat .” she says, avoiding to confirm that yes, she was indeed referring to herself. “ i can’t swim. ” 

[shinomiyaa-blog1]

Mai.

     “ aren’t you a bit WARM in that ?? “ and really, she has no right to talk, dressed in her famous yellow, knit cardigan with high waisted shorts a white long sleeve to top it OFF. in her left hand is a bottle of peach iced tea ;; condensation collecting on the bottle. she doesn’t know that the other can’t hear her — and for a moment, it pains her heart to think that the other is ignoring her.

  BUT she’s not ;; and she sees her take her earbuds out, and she takes this as anOPPORTUNITY to take a seat next to the other, a content smile on her lips. “ aren’t you a bit warm in that? “ she asks again, a kind warmth in her tone. she glances out from the steps of the hotel, then back to the other. it doesn’t take her long to hold out the unopened drink for the other.  “ here. if you’re gonna wear that, you might as well be hydrated … or something. ”

Victoria looks at the other girl, as her lips move but her words fail to reach Victoria’s ears; Bach’s air is almost over, and her favorite part has already passed anyway, so she pulls the earbuds out and follows the young woman with her eyes as she takes a seat beside her. 

She considers if replying at all to the first question, given that a ‘yes’ might sound stupid and a ‘no’ might sound too much like a lie. She opts for the former –”yes,” she says, shoving her hands into the hoodie pokets as the truth felt suddenly uncomfortable, “ i am warm, but it doesn’t matter. this stays on. ” She doesn’t know if the answer sounded, indeed, incredibly stupid or nonsensical to the other – she can’t really read it on her face –, but she chooses not to care. 

She glances over at the drink the other girl offers her, “ i prefer lemon tea. ” Now, while that is true and she does prefer lemon tea, she doesn’t really mind peach flavored one either. But she chooses not to accept it anyway. “ But thanks. ” she adds then, almost too late. She goes back staring at the stars, thinking that maybe the other girl will understand what bad company Victoria actually is and she’ll wisely choose to walk away before curfew hits, so she’ll be able to listen to one last musical piece outdoors in peace.

[shinomiyaa-blog1]

kaiminjae

The girl was, for the lack of a better word, weird.  Despite the hot weather and the general environmental characteristics, she wore a hoodie that practically SWALLOWED her form, and she looked like she could use a pick-me-up.  It wouldn’t have stopped Min Jae from approaching even if she didn’t.  There was no way he’s letting her decline; a circle of people has already gathered around them, and leaving would just be RUDE.

Victoria raised an eyebrow; this was new. This was unexpected. The guy didn’t look like he was going anywhere, and the people who started gathering around them looked very intrigued by the situation… Situation which Victoria had never experienced in her entire life. People usually didn’t approach her. People usually didn’t gather around her. They didn’t invite her to play games, they simply didn’t talk to her. And she didn’t talk to them either, to be fair. They found her strange, she found them boring, and they all just kept living their lives ignoring each other’s existence.  But this guy really looked like he wasn’t going to give up, and the people around them really looked like they wanted to be entertained, or even join them. And as much as Victoria didn’t really care about what people thought or wanted, and despite she could’ve just walked away, she decided to give it a try. It was summer, after all. And she already hated the season and the heat and she was already on her second book by Franz Kafka, she thought she could take a break after four hours of reading; “Fine,” she said, shoving her hands in her hoodie pokets (something she did when she felt uncomfortable); “Dare.” If she was gonna play, she might as well make things interesting. 

[shinomiyaa-blog1]

( @riverariley )

The one thing she hated the most about Plath, besides the uncomfortable amount of ignorant and boring people all gathered in one place, was the fact that she had to share a room with another person. She didn’t even have the time to settle down at the academy when she arrived, only three days ago, that they quickly assigned her to a roommate. The same roommate she now had at the hotel. She didn’t really have anything against the other girl… yet, but the mere condition of sharing a room was one she wasn’t really accostumed to. Therefore, as much as she would’ve loved to finish to read “The Metamorphosis” by Franz Kafka while lying in bed, she decided to do it at the resort’s café. 

It was mostly empty, and for that Victoria was glad. She ordered a lemon iced tea at the bar, when her attention was caught by some drawings left unattended on a table. She grabbed her drink and slowly walked toward the works of art, staring at them and carefully studying the figures on paper. She was so captivated by them that she didn’t even notice the person who was now standing beside her. 

[violentwavesofemotion-deactivat]

I am troubled and harsh and hopeless. Though I have love inside me. But I don’t know how to use love. Sometimes it scratches like barbs.

Clarice Lispector, tr. by Elizabeth Lowe, from Água Viva / The Stream of Life (via violentwavesofemotion)

[kaiminjae]

Min Jae looked up cheekily when he saw who was on the other end of the bottle. “So.  Truth, or dare?”

[shinomiyaa-blog1]

Victoria furrowed; she hated this game. She had never played it before, of course, because she never had friends whom she could play with, but she knew the rules and she hated it nonetheless. And now here she was, minding her own business until the guy approached her and started playing without consulting her. And thus she sighed, “I hate this game.”

[bpdvoid]

a bad person? who, me? that would be correct,

[florallpeach]

[shinomiyaa-blog1]

maxine.

“ MERMAID TEARS. ”   Her tone goes dreamy and hands clutch over her heart. It was too cute not to repeat.   “ WOW. I really love that. Are you a poet? ”

 “ Because I feel like, if I wanted to leave this                             little treasure with anybody, it’d be a 𝓻𝓸𝓶𝓪𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓬. ”

Victoria scoffs, “ No, I’m not a poet.” -- which is technically the truth, considering that, in her opinion, writing poems doesn’t authomatically make her worth to be called a poet. But she lies anyway, because the question made her uncomfortable -- “ That’s just something I read a long time ago about Sea Glass; which, by the way, I’m pretty sure this is what they are. Despite the similarities in shape and colors, what you call beach glass actually comes from fresh water and in most cases it’s got a different pH balance than sea glass, which comes from the ocean.” She lowers her eyes for a moment, biting her lower lip as in a sort of self-inflicted punishment for saying too much. She could’ve simply talked about the legend of mermaids’ tears linked to sea glass instead of giving a freaking master class on the latter! ...But no; - She scoffs one more time, then shoves her hands in her hoodie pockets (gosh she was sweating) and looks up again - guess that rats never learn; 

“ A romantic ? I guess I might as well walk away right now, then.”

[brodymccreary]

[shinomiyaa-blog1]

( @maikwons )

Victoria was listening to Bach’s air on G string, while enjoying the cool breeze caressing her face outside the hotel (it was 8:46pm, she still had some time before the curfew). She didn’t like the summer; hot weather meant sleeveless shirts and shorts and bikinis. And all of that exposed skin made her feel extremely vulnerable. That is why she always kept her hoodie on despite the heat. 

Nights, on the other hand, were calmer in the summer. People not being so busy with night shifts and exhausting jobs could just relax and rest. And Victoria liked that, she liked the calm. She liked the feeling that time stopped during summer breaks. She had more time to think and indulge in her hobbies; like listening to classical music while staring at the night sky.

Until she felt like somebody was stading right behind her. She turned around to see who it was, but she didn’t bother to pull the earphones out. 

[eldestprince-blog]

@shinomiyaa​

               guanyu was sitting in one of the beach chairs, his legs cris-crossed as he looked out at the water. turning to look at the girl next to him (who did not look like she wanted to be there), he shot her a friendly smile. “ have you been to beach? “ he asked, pulling off his sunglasses so he could wipe at the bridge of his nose. “ it very hot, but very pretty, no? “

[shinomiyaa-blog1]

               victoria glanced at him from the corner of her eye; somebody was actually initiating a conversation with her? the guy must’ve caught a sunstroke, she thought. she sighed, making it clear that she wasn’t interested in pursuing the conversation any further and that her reply was only common courtesy. “yes, i have. plenty of times,” she said, wiping away the sweat from her forehead. her hoodie was on despite the heat. “it is pretty, but i hate the summer and hot weather. and i wish it was winter already.”

[shinomiyaa-blog1]

clementine.

“Absolutely nothing? As if I don’t have friends and a boyfriend and people I hang out with. As if sitting still means you can’t do anything. Ever heard of people watching? Pretty sure sitting on a chair doesn’t mean I’m stupid, you dumb broad. Just because you’re jealous, doesn’t mean you have to come over and fuck with my vibe,” she huffed. “It’s called counting calories, genius. I have extra in cocktails so I eat less later. That is a diet. CICO, duh.”

Victoria sighed, “And here I thought you were about to say, “ever heard of reading”. And of what should I be jealous, exactly? Of your limited vocabulary, or of your pathetic attempt of making a point against prejudice when, literally sixty seconds ago, you called poor and boring every person that’s sitting on the sand right now? I didn’t come over to fuck with your vibe, we simply happened to be in the same place at the same time. I’d never approach you voluntarily, rest assured.” She rolled her eyes, “A diet is something you get prescribed by a dietitian. Or, in case of Veganism and Vegetarianism, it’s called a dietary choice. The point is that you don’t skip meals twice or thrice a week without following a proper dieting schedule. That is just being ignorant and misinformed, cico.”