SH!TKOUR

Parkour? Freerunning? Art Du Deplacement? Non. Sh!tkour

[shitkour]

It's a community involvement, so come volunteer your time to build the equipment for the community at the gym.  Then you can pay to use the equipment like everyone else does in the community.  It's been like this since I had a twinkle in my eye..you pay, you build, I live.

Almost every North American Parkour Gym owner. Or as we call them, Human Chum Buckets.  Take your pick. At least McDonald's pays you if you mop the floor.

[shitkour]

Hey, do you like tricking?  With a smattering of freerunning?

Done by a guy who is a Furry?

Oh boy, do we have the video for you.

Here is a Furry, with facial hair groomed more fine than a 90s boy band member who is so deep in the closet he lives in Narnia.  You know, we could live with his shit style.  His mom probably loves him.

It's his questionable sponsorships.

He loves the Red Bull too if one goes by the sponsorship.  Of course, he doesn't drink it to be better at being fit.  But yea, getting paid by them is pretty sweet, because he needs to buy more tail.  That came out wrong.  Furry costume tail.   He doesn't pay for sex, because Red Bull doesn't pay that much.  

No, seriously guy, red bull was sued because their drink does not increase athletic or intellectual ability, like their ads claimed.  There is a web site  to claim your money back.  I don't think Zephyr would claim it though.  No point biting the hand that feeds.  Or maybe not that smart.  Or he really never touched the stuff.  Who know?  And really who cares.  He peddles red bull.  And then coaches kids.  Why not sell them Oxycontin, and then offer a seminar in respecting your body.  Probably more money in that.  At least it's more honest.

Oh yea, but freerunning is not about things like "philosophy", or "integrity", or "respecting others".  It's about doing whatever the hell you want.

On that note.  Anyone wanting to criticize this on tumblr...it's freerunning.  I'm literally typing this as freerunning.  Hater.

Apparently with the love thrown at him for peddling shit, Freerunners will buy anything.  Freerunning is so full of this crap.

So yea, Furry Red Bull peddling tricker doing freerunning with 90s boy band facial har.

Enjoy.

[shitkour]

Our apologies for interrupting your competitive exercise session (i.e. your Crossfit WOD).

Mobility - a bs term not even listed in Wikipedia for fitness but written by broscience on the internet and presented at "seminars" by d-bags.

There is flexibility.  There is range of motion.  Mobility as a word means movement.  

Do you move?  Awesome. Want to move better for a specific goal?  Good.  Good for you.

You want to be a mobility functional trainer?  Memorize this chart.  Then kill yourself.  Painfully.

This picture has the origin of who generated this hilarious flow chart.  It's hilarious because it was an intentional joke.  And it's funnier, because mobility coaches are terrible human beings.

[knightsoftheswolerepublic-deact]

top kek based Elgintensity aka Trappicus Finch completely wrecks the shit out of CT Fletcher’s Masterplan chest workout awww yeahh

[shitkour]

CT Fletcher.  He's strong.  He's a crap coach.  And apparently a crap writer.

[shitkour]

They say they are better.  Good.

They are trying to be funny.

Trying.

[shitkour]

PALEO BREASTMILK

Milk will kill you in the long run?  Based off a diet where people had a shortened life expectancy and had to forage for food every damn day?  And that's your solution, without scientific evidence. A "lifestyle" not a moneymaking diet?  Ok, that's cray-cray, but hey, do what you like.

But you love milk.  Sweet sweet sweet milk.

So the solution is to drink breast milk?  And approach women feeding their children to get your fix.

Tell me more you sick freak.