My Life Sucks But At Least I'm Not These People

house rules: 1. no humping non-celebrities in the kitchen 2. death must be festive 3. NO BABIES 4. no humping bilbo baggins 5. no deep throating the power puff girls 6. one sti per roommate 7. thou must dance to blink 182 8. explain the baby 9. no motherfucking minions 10. this is a no butt stuff apartment 11. no queefing in the kitchen, Tessa 12. No roommate death 13. no crying until after Brea cums 14. no voodoo before noon Personals: thegirlwiththepurplehair.tumblr.com & we-are-all-of-legend-now.tumblr.com

[shitmyapartmentdoes]

"Right the popsicle, got distracted by homicide" - T

[shitmyapartmentdoes]

TH: doesn't WASP mean white able single parent?

[shitmyapartmentdoes]

"They definitely have the worst puberty, as far as birds are concerned"

- M

[shitmyapartmentdoes]

"he's a doctor ... oh! Wait! He's a chiropractor? He's a fucking quack" - T2

[shitmyapartmentdoes]

"you don't have a bender if you're fine"

- T's sister

[shitmyapartmentdoes]

"Omg they are all are both prumyamid schemes"

- T

[shitmyapartmentdoes]

"If I was having a crisis that involved crotchless panties" - T

[shitmyapartmentdoes]

"Did you know allergies get worse every year because of tree sexism?"

- T sober

[shitmyapartmentdoes]

"This is Hitler's wet dream"

[shitmyapartmentdoes]

"Apparently chickens are really good at tic-tac-toe and I'm really good at tic-tac-toe so I want to know who would win. Me or the chicken"

-T

[shitmyapartmentdoes]

"He seems like a decent guy if you overlook the rats"

-T

[shitmyapartmentdoes]

"Ontario doesn't exist man, it's a conspiracy theory"

-B

[shitmyapartmentdoes]

"I'm fueled by rage and rage alone"

-T

[shitmyapartmentdoes]

"Who knew the easiest way to get dick was to post photos of your dead cat!?"

- T

[shitmyapartmentdoes]

But, what if the crack rat was inside of us all along?

T

[shitmyapartmentdoes]

You could give babies crack but should you give babies crack?

T

[shitmyapartmentdoes]

When you're like "The most 2003 band you can imagine and your roommate is immediately like "Jimmy Eat World"