HastaLux

Literary Dumpsterfire. Writing basically whatever the brain decides to fixate on for more than 3 seconds at a time. Multifandom, multiship, multiple sclerosis.

[hastalux]

Shoutout to the little copper-orange sportscar ahead of me with the HELIOS plate. Genius-level American Gods behavior, 10/10 no notes. That or mythology is breaking reality containment again.

[helpmeimblorboing]

I feel like people misunderstand the title of Mo Dao Zu Shi, or of what Wei Wuxian does as “demonic cultivation” (mo dao). It’s not. It is, however, what most people in canon THINK he’s doing

Mo dao messes with the cycle of reincarnation, which is why the Yiling Patriarch becomes so reviled. The term mo dao is actually used only ONCE in the novel - when Wei Wuxian notes that people called him “the grandmaster of demonic cultivation”

It uses living humans, extracts qi out of them, and involves the destruction of golden cores, brainwashing, and effectively vampiring living beings for the sake of power. It doesn’t use ambient resentment, it creates it by harming others.

The reason we’re continuously told (by people who know nothing of Wei Wuxian’s path) that he’s at risk of going insane is because that’s what mo dao does. It warps the mind and body because the source of resentment is within the user

Wei Wuxian calls his cultivation “the ghostly path” or “ghost cultivation” (gui dao). Hell, the only other person shown to match his expertise on the subject - Xue Yang - also calls it gui dao. Xue Yang !! He’d be delighted to call his actions demonic !! If he’s insisting on calling it “ghostly”, then that tells us that the difference matters

So what is gui dao ? First of all, we know that it doesn’t mind-control people as a baseline - that’s why Wei Wuxian ended up dying the first go around. We know that it utilises pre-existing resentful energy in the world to direct the dead

We know, also, that it requires a certain level of understanding of the dead. One of the spells Wei Wuxian creates is literally named Empathy.

We know that the power source is usually external (the Burial Mounds, the Stygian Tiger Seal), and that it, most importantly, doesn’t create demons. It creates ghosts and fierce corpses. And because of this, it likely doesn’t prevent reincarnation.

Why is the distinction important ? Because the former is what mo dao does. It creates mo.

We’re told the difference - very intentionally - in one of the earliest parts of the story, when Lan Qiren asks Wei Wuxian the difference between gui (ghosts) and mo (demons) and yao, and gets the correct answer

There’s foreshadowing littered all across the earlier chapters, actually. I might make a post on that some day

[ekingston]

sometimes i say things on twitter and then make a little graph about it

[np-444]

The real horseshoe theory.

[hastalux]

Because I am terminally online and my brain is broken:

Did you know if you are a regular horny jail attendee and don’t like the dentist you can absolutely mentally add some “good girl/boy” every time the tech tells you to open your mouth as a little bit of motivation? Or to move your tongue? Or to spit?

You can. I’m not saying you should, but you sure can.

[hastalux]

Aggressive downpour this morning feels like a biblically accurate way to ring in this “holiday”

[teaboot]

Yeah Mr. Darcy’s proposal was a complete turd and a half but you gotta understand. You got your life together. A good career, stable income, retirement plan, all that shit together. And you meet this girl. And she’s everything. Clever, outspoken, funny, calls you on your bullshit. Grade A cutie, right? And she doesn’t go out of her way to spend time with you but she’s nice, and sometimes you catch her looking your way in a way that makes you think you might have a shot.

But her family. Holy shit.

First off, it’s p much ALL women, and mostly UNMARRIED women, which at this time means of something happens to her dad then you’re financially responsible for like. Four grown ass adults, potentially forever

Because mom in law is DEFINITELY gonna need someone to take care of her when dad in law kicks it, and they have like. NO money. So already you’re accepting that if all goes well, you’re gonna be one random old bag’s retirement home. That’s expensive and exhausting, yeah? Imagine asking someone on a first date knowing that if they say yes and things go good her high-strung chihuahua mother is gonna move in with you. IMAGINE.

And girly’s other sisters. Well, one is a sweetheart, yeah, so she probably won’t be an issue, but that still leaves three more, and two of those ones are INSUFFERABLE. Never went to school, dumb as rocks, spend cash like it’s toilet paper

And while one of the two is young still and might grow out of it the OTHER one is actively torpedo’ing her entire family’s reputation by wandering off with random dudes and chasing ass. She’s never gonna work, she can’t build connections, she’s a fucking sinkhole, and she’s being led on by the same goddamn con man ass leeching tit who’s been bleeding you dry while telling anyone who’ll listen that your family is full of ratty thieving bastards.

And if he dumps her after a week- WHICH YOU KNOW HIS BITCH ASS IS GONNA- you’ve got a SECOND UNMARRIABLE GROWN ASS ADULT TO PROVIDE FOR. And you KNOW she’s gonna be a tantrum-throwing little shit about it, and it’s not like you can lock her in the basement or something, you’re gonna have to bring her fucking. Everywhere. And give her an allowance and shit while she contributes zero, because again, she NEVER GOT EDUCATED AND HAS NO MARKETABLE SKILLS. She’s not even good to TALK to. FUCK

And you’re looking at this girl’s father like “please for the love of fuck get your spawn under control, marry them off, get them working on their résumé, learning to sew or be nursemaids or manage staff or SOMETHING, yall got no money and one foot in the grave” and that old man just laughs like “haha yeah, what can you do. lol”

So you’re looking to the mom and finally it’s making sense how she got that twitch in her eye and as MUCH as she is you’re starting to realize she’s the SMART one, desperately throwing her armloads of girls at random men like they’re a bunch of fucking lifeboats bobbing around a sinking ship, like yes Jesus Christ sweetly that life boat IS old and ugly and kind of boring but for FUCKS SAKE PICK ONE

And you look back at this girl who is ALSO REFUSING THE LIFE BOATS BY THE WAY and god damn it she’s still the most radiant thing you’ve ever seen so fine, fuck it, Christ alive, you’ll do it. You’ll shoot your shot. She’s everything you’ve ever wanted in anybody abut it’s not even just about that anymore, it’s about being her best fucking shot at a future, and even if she doesn’t like you all that much she’s still gonna say yes and that might break your heart a bit knowing it’s about the money but who knows, maybe it will at least be civil, or companionable, and even if she doesn’t LOVE you at least you’ll know she’s well and cared for

And so you’ll do it. You’ll take on the neurotic stress mess mother in law, the absent father, the broke ass wingnut no brain no money no future airhead sisters, the bad mannered relatives and the embarrassing behaviour and the impending future of sharing your entire shit with a clown parade of freeloaders, you’ll risk it all and accept the absolute certainty of financial ruin and emotional exhaustion for the rest of your whole ass life and you’ll make your own family deal with it too, you’ll do it, you’ll fucking DO IT, you stupid lovesick motherfucker

And so you go to this chick like “look. Your whole family’s a shitshow. You’ve got fucking nothing and you’re gonna die on the street. But for some reason- and I don’t get it either- I’ve fallen in love with you, and I wish I didn’t, but I did, so I’m telling you that whether you like me or not, I’ll give you everything. I’ll give you everything even if it’s the dumbest shit I ever done. Fuck my stupid Baka ass, I’ll marry you.”

And she looks at you- having heard or considered absolutely none of your months-long internal debate and monologue- and goes “The fuck did you just say about my family, you son of a bitch?”

And the shock of that is enough to jolt you back into a reality where you are able to actually hear and process what just came out of your damn mouth And yeah

Yeah, I think I kinda get it

[fasole-dulce]

[scavengedluxury]

I don't know, how about switching it off?

[wilwheaton]

Have you tried turning it off, and not turning it back on again?

[beardedmrbean]

[theman]

I GOT A FUCKING RAISE THE POTATO WORKED WTF

[tattooedzombigirl]

This potato works. Every. Fucking. Time.

[imanutcase-10]

Then bring me luck

[thirddeadlysin]

the day after I posted this last time I was notified that I was selected for a really cool mentorship gig and got an unrelated glowing review at work

[jackdaw-kraai]

And notice the potato doesn’t guilt you with “if you don’t, something horrible will happen.” Potato wouldn’t betray you like that, because potato is a refined person of good humor and character, and understands that, sometimes, a visit to your dashboard just isn’t convenient right now. Sometimes you just went on a fandom gif reblogging spree or your energy is low, you do not have the time to make your dashboard suitable to guests, and a polite visit just isn’t in the cards. Potato understands this, and doesn’t get upset, or gods forbid, throws a tantrum and wishes ill on your household. Instead, Potato merely stores away their blessings for a later visit and leaves as a good friend should.

Be like Potato. Be a good friend.

[hastalux]

Once again reminded by even a passing glance at the news that every day Continuum becomes alarmingly more prescient and I can only hope this will also result in someone trying to fix the goddam timeline. (If you have not watched this show and you like sci-fi/time travel/dystopian futures, get on that.)

[dies-first]

@salticid​ you’re amazing and I love ur cryptic spambot convo I hope u like this!!

[twitter]

[latestagejenga]

IVE FOUND IT AT LAST

[lordoftablecloths]

ph my fuckning gog

[thesnadger]

Demons and monsters that torture people because they feed on human suffering are so dumb. People are suffering everywhere my guy go literally any place and take a deep whiff.

[thesnadger]

Monster that feeds on suffering becomes a professional caretaker for people with chronic pain and terminal illnesses. They can't change the fact that these people are suffering, but they help a bit and in the meantime they're fat and happy off that Sweet Sweet ambient pain in the air.

Two towns over there's a demon lord trying to get their cult to abduct people for torture, but they keep getting stopped by heroes and the like, so they're barely scraping by. Meanwhile Belogarth the Registered PCA is chowing down on back pain, medication side effects and looming mortality for eight hours a day and has become the most powerful demon on earth without realizing it.

[thesnadger]

"But don't their clients feel weird knowing that they're feeding off their suffering?" No they think it's hilarious and they're real shits about it.

[bladeangelx]

Finally a medical professional who believes that they are in pain. Because the fucker is actively chowing down on your agony. Not only am I going to get treated by them I'm going to invite all of my chronically ill friends to come as well.

[tachvintlogic]

Turns out if you treat the pain then the humans will bring you more humans who are suffering. It's like a restaurant where the waiter is so impressed by your ability to eat food they're giving you more on the house

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

They say things like "well, it's a real feast day for Belogarth today!" and "if my meds are held up at customs again I'm gonna put Belogarth in a food coma" and Belogarth is the one feeling weird about it

[mariacallous]

[godlessondheimite]

I’m just thinking about how many times I’ve heard my dad on a long call with an obvious scammer and I’ll start begging him to get off the phone because I always think he’s a very easy mark and he’ll just keep going and then after a while he’ll say something like “I died 20 years ago” and hang up.

[godlessondheimite]

Virgin Millennial Daughter with 20 hrs of screentime a day: Dad! They’re scamming you! Dad! Stop! They will take your savings and your identity! Hang up before they SWAT you!

Chad Boomer dad with a flip phone he has not recharged since 2014: Well gee I wish I could give you my bank account number after you spent all this time on the phone explaining this car deal with me but I don’t have access to my finances because I am in Rikers for felony murder.

[mexicangrizzlyappreciation]

[hastalux]

My dad (of the Silent Generation) has been very much enjoying his new favorite game of “fuck with all unsolicited callers.” Medicaid, life insurance, regular scammers, and most especially the local Republican Party. Because he and my mother were registered Republicans when they moved to their current location, they still get calls even though they changed to Dems years ago. So while the usual scammers just get trolled, the political callers get treated to an 80+ years buildup of The Airing of Grievances and Let Me Explain To You All The Ways You Are Wrong.

[play-now-my-lord]

One of my favorite little facts about history is that the Mexican peso was functionally the everyday unit of currency in China in the 19th and early 20th century. Silver was one of the few western commodities that Chinese merchants were willing to trade in at rates that made shipping it to China (an expensive, arduous process) profitable; this trade became so voluminous by the 19th century that large everyday transactions even far away from port cities were conducted in pesos, in large part because Mexico's large domestic silver supply and existing transpacific trade links meant that the currency was stable (a known quantity to merchants in a time and place where relatively pure silver coins were otherwise uncommon) and readily available for use in trade

[play-now-my-lord]

Zhang Zongchang, the bandit general of the warlord era, could call himself (or at least be called) "Old Eighty-Six" because of the peso - everyone knew or had a vague sense at least how tall a stack of 86 pesos would be, and that this was an impressive length for a guy's dick

[4thvar]

How many penis nicknames does one guy need?

[anarchautistic]

One penis nickname? Could be a joke, just goofin. Two penis nicknames? Compensating. Six penis nicknames? That guy's got a big ass dick.

[kototyph]

thank u @morethanslightly for the math and the indelible mental image

[poorlittleyaoyao]

yeah.

[queenofnots]

Likes to charge, reblogs to cast

[nudityandnerdery]

I bet that article doesn't even mention the crab rave.