Sburb Shitposting

•Carrd|Shitposts from my Sburb roleplaying|Please send in quotes|If the source isn't named, please tell me|All OCs & thier Modaii were made by the people involved. Steal them and you'll pay for it.|•

[shitposts-g513]

Zia: I carry, on my person, a LARGE quantity of knives.

[shitposts-g513]

Zia: What is toothpaste, if not bone soap?

Nailah: Existence is a prison and being in a group with you is maximum security.

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Rookie: Are you a cuddler?

Zia, scoffing: Rookiedee, I'm a rebel veteran that's been hardened from years of resistance against the empire AND a reality destroyer.

Rookie, Crista, & Karius:

Zia: Gog yes hold me please

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Pyaria: Changing the past through time travel is impossible. It would just lead to a future where there would be no reason to go back in time, then there's a paradox.

Zia: ...What if you went back, fixed the problem, then traveled to a past version of you and told them to do the same thing?

Zia: That way when you finally get the chance to time travel, you'll know to go back and do what you did before, even if you don't know why because the future is now peaceful.

Everyone:

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Nailah, annoyed: How many swords do you own?

Zia: Sword of a lot.

Nailah: Blocked.

Zia: Parried.

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Karius: Apparently, we're getting a new person.

Crista: Are you stealing them?

Zia: New or used?

Karius: Wonderful responses, both of you.

[shitposts-g513]

Pyaria: when ur gay in ur home because ur homolone

Rookie: when ur bi and you're alone you're all biyourself

*pya and rookiedee have been removed from the group chat*

[shitposts-g513]

*zia has added rookiedee & pya to the group chat*

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Zia: While you were busy being heterosexual I studied the blade.

Nailah: Literally no one here is heterosexual, you idiot.

[shitposts-g513]

Zia:

Zia: ok. While you were busy being Homosexual I studied the blade.

[shitposts-g513]

Kidnapper: We have them.

Sevlaz: Have who?

Kidnapper: Zia and Rookie.

Sevlaz: Oh.

Kidnapper: Oh?

Sevlaz: You don’t have them, they have you.

Sevlaz: Good luck.

[shitposts-g513]

Zia: I’ve lost the dictionary.

Nailah: Can you look upstairs?

Zia: I can’t look up anything.

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Crista, reading a recipe: okay, now we have to beat three eggs

Rookie:

Rookie: at what?

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Zia: Other people may reject you, but if you lie on the forest floor for long enough, the moss and fungi will always accept you as one of their own.

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Surprise! You just killed someone. What's the first thing you do?

Karius: apologize to the body...

Pyaria: clean the blood.

Crista: tamper with the evidence and frame someone else.

Nailah: laugh

Zia: woodchipper.

Rookie: come again?

Zia: wood. chipper.

[shitposts-g513]

Empress: Kid, you'd be stupid to lay a hand on me.

Zia: Oh, you'd be surprised by how much stupid shit I do.

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Zia, running at full speed: sEV, I NEED YOU TO TELL THE GROUP SOMETHING RIGHT NOW!

Sevlaz: ? And that is?

Zia: At the end of this year, we are not screaming “Happy New Year!” we’re screaming “JUMANJI!” to get out of this hell hole.

Sevlaz:

Sevlaz: I’ll tell them right away-

[shitposts-g513]

Zia, wide awake at 3 am: if you work on a farm and your job is to take care of the chickens, you’re a chicken tender

Rookie, eyes wide staring up at the ceiling:

[shitposts-g513]

Crista: I want to hear those three little words.

Zia: I love you.

Crista: that's sweet, but try again.

Zia: *sigh* I will behave.