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my little brother is gonna start playing a tabletop rpg where they only had a trial battle once before where his character instead of healing crit killed a team mate and for the first actual session my brother would like to have a character design ready.

After a two hour call we're not further with his actual character's design but we got a fruity/femboy version that we laughed our asses off at that he's gonna pitch to his dm as an npc.

#personal #first time streaming my art program while on a call. damn was that fun. I think I 'get' art streams now.

how the fuck does mumbling to myself that I apparently don't like donuts anymore equal to fucking needing to hold it together to not break into a crying mess in the grocery store.

#personal #holding it in the whole grocery trip and the car ride home but you just concentrate more on it and wanna cry more and can't distract yaself #could barely talk like I managed to answer when my mom asked if I'm not feeling motivated to do groceries like her today #I said that I haven't feeling like eating any of the shit I like for weeks (which she knows)and my mom followed p if I have a burn out and #I couldn't reply no I don't have burn out bc that'd mean being at work and genuinely unaware why you're there #but I only be like needing a minute to remember what I was doing when I get interrupted by smth #man why can't I just fcking kill myself.

Since hearing about pokopia and that it's developed by the same folks who made dragon quest builders (DQB2 was great! Personally never played a dq game bc the art style and monster design ain't for me but the game and story were so good, like lowkey considered playing dq2) I've been struggling whether I should splurge on a switch 2 or not. Because the only switch 2 game I care about is pokopia (I don't think I'd play Kirby Air Riders enough to justify the purchase for that).

Texted my younger brother about it and what did he say? Makes sense to buy the console for playing pokemon gen 10 and a new animal crossing when one releases.

"New animal crossing game" is actually such a funny joke to me like do you seriously believe they'd make a new animal crossing? lmao of course not get rekt

#personal #I can't decide if I should engage with like pokopia gameplay and stuff a lot to get that fix or avoid it to not be tempted #for a week I've been weirdly mentally/emotionally flipflopping/spiralling and the pokopia hype has been my constant.#I think the mental thing is because of the extreme weather swings though (it's like what 0°C in the morning and 15°C at noon?)#I think I've acclimatized/calmed down by now tho. Would've been fun if s*harm simulator was the one video game I'd ever make a reality tho #Hm. I told myself I'll let it come down to whether they still have a switch 2 left at the electronics store next to my workplace #but I lowkey worry that because hype because online consensus gets that pokopia is cool that the switch 2s are gonna be all snatched up #And. I dunno if I go to the store tomorrow and they got none if I really can be like 'okay I guess I will sit out after all' oof

segamascott

#man I see stuff like this and my immediate thought is like good that last year they rebranded from tetzoocon #because the name dinocon definitely gives such a headline a bigger impact/whiplash/ridicule to the entire situation

my mom tried to call me two hours ago and I got a message on whatsapp+discord from my little brother which did make me think that something must have happened so I. figured that my grandma's feeling sick or smth but my mom called me now and my grandma's. in the hospital and would need a surgery that she probably wouldn't get through anyway so. she will die.

and ya' know I always assumed I'm a very detached person so I assumed there'd be a shock of course and a little sadness and that's it, but damn when my mom was telling me now I had a hard time (and failed to properly be) suppressing the tears and sniffling. I did not expect this to hit me this hard.

#personal #I stated to my mom that I did not expect to be affected this hard and she told me I'm allowed to cry #idk man I feel like I'm breaking rn #I don't wanna visit her in the hospital where she's just laying unconsciously bc I think that will shatter me #sorry for venting I. have to go find some distraction now I think

my laptop doesn't have much storage space left so even though I've been meaning to record drawing videos, I haven't done anything bc I'd first need to clear out some files.

cut today where ig I felt kinda bored/didn't know what to do so I finally connected my external drive to make sure I got a copy of everything there before I get to deleting files.

I found out I still have some spongebob parody videos my brother wrote that we recorded together. the first episode isn't complete (missing the background music, cut in two parts with possibly seconds or a scene missing inbetween) but the second episode is fully complete

I think I got smth in my eye

#personal #lowkey crazy how much it's just toilet humor and sex jokes. these recordings are from 2011 #I remember my brother planned a third episode based on snail race but I don't remember anything about it

#shadowverse worlds beyond #yes I'm very funny why do you ask

#shadowverse worlds beyond #spoiler #my brother urged me to play the new shadowverse

colleague came up to me to ask smth, I said I'm not sure so I gotta check the law, and he said which § it's in with a "yeah I asked chatgpt this" and I was mentally so. cringing. I did murmur back that I wouldn't really trust chatgpt bc it just guesses things, but mentally it was like urgh. Also he was confused by my answer (based on the law) so I guess chatgpt gave him a different answer.

Alter wir sind Behörde.

#personal #in hindsight if chatgpt gave him the §§ why did he not check the law himself?#I mean. he's not the. best. at doing this job. had a lengthy chat with him today about a little fuck up he'll have to report to our boss #not to mention the 'poor' woman who demanded money immediately and he just let her have it and now she has to pay back 5k €

it's hailing kinda. intensely outside. which seems off to me because I don't mentally connect hail with summer. but my mom just came up to me and said "wie gut dass dein auto schon nen hagelschaden hat".

#personal #like lowkey the thought crossed my mind too but.

told my brother about a random video I found when searching my deviantart username and he is fascinated by this pathetic dude reading bulbapedia, summarizing detective pikachu because he's gotta show a scene where a picture of a pokemon of the day is in the background for a few frames and his 'nobody responded to my community post' screen.

we can't stop laughing at his jigglypuff video because he reads all tm moves it learns + tm number and is so fast and out of breath it's just hilarious somehow.

#personal #my brother is very excited to when the dude gets to making a video for lopunny. because the gardevoir vid wasn't enough I guess

I was watching tv and there was an ad for (pet) insurance and in the corner it said 'animal images a.i. generated' and like. wtf. why would you need to generate cat b-roll?? like there exist enough cat videos you don't need to ask a.i. to generate some for you

#it'd be more understandable if it was some rare or obscure animal or if it was doing smth unrealistic/dangerous #still would be bad but then you'd understand why. but cats just doing nothing/standing around?? what the FUCK

had a doctor's appointment and am supposed to be measuring my blood pressure regularly for the next appointment. tried measuring it now and couldn't stop nervously laughing bc the cuff is supposed to go above the elbow but my (upper) arm is so short it's hard to position it right.

I have perhaps never felt a greater spiritual connection to Bernd das Brot (Meine Arme sind zu kurz!)

#personal #This trying to fit the cuff on my arm was apparently so stressful that I got a reading of 147 #my mom apparently had a similar experience where the first try had a really high reading but on a repeat measuring it went down #uhh for those concerned I guess. on a second attempt it was only 130. which is still high but not as absurdly high as before #my left arm is still feeling a little wonky..

my father was talking generally about overtime hours and how at his job they get in trouble for being near the maximum of 10 hours while at my job nobody cares about the maximum of 60 and then he was like. all those overtime hours me and my coworkers have (I'm at like 57 currently, and am still in the process of using up my vacation days from last year) are a sign that we don't have enough personnel and I'm like yeah, we just got two new people and have four open spots and.

it lowkey kinda hit me how understaffed we actually are. like I was mentally just thinking of the total of six spots where 2 are in training and 2 will join us in the next months so there's just two open spots left. totally ignoring that one of the ones in training has been ill for multiple weeks, three other people have also been absent for at least three weeks(one has been absent for multiple months, so they have now implemented an actual system to properly distribute the workload to everyone), and then there's the two still open spots for the job of actually training new personnel/checking if we do our work correctly/being available for questions if we have a difficult or unusual cases

it's no wonder our work's piling up like crazy

#personal #also a third of our office is relatively new so of course they got questions on more complicated stuff. another third got homeoffice #so we're bascially one of the few places where you can ask questions about work. my colleague says we got busyness like a train station #recently another coworker sat at my colleague's desk bc reasons and they later commented that it was like a revolving door #I didn't even notice that. I also just kinda ignore/forget all about work when I'm off the clock #like just writing this down reminds me that last week I got none of my own work done. even tho I had leftover days and get a backlog again #I did all work on cases I've been assigned from people that have been absent. and I didn't even manage to get everything finished from tha?#the cases have been fairly split so I wonder how everyone else is supposed to get this done.#tbh if my car didn't break down last week so that my dad had to come and get me off work I'd prolly have racked up my overtime like crazy #rant?

randomly decided to google my brother's online handle (while he's sitting next to me cringing) and excluded searching all sites he actually has an account on (bc curious what'd show up, like the random genius lyrics page someone made about 1 video he was in)

long story short we found an ai chatbot that's supposedly him/trained on him; he was very upset that typing in the first half of one running joke of his channel did not make the chatbot finish the joke (also hilarious that the opening paragraph specifies 'you are a 16 yo boy. my brother is over 30. wtf is this. senpai notice me??')

#we would have continued to poke this clearly bad chatbot but my brother needed to badly take a shit #and since it's way past midnight he will not return #personal #also lowkey funny I guess was finding those 'estimated income based on views' or smth where one page was like the man gets 70 € per month #while the other said it's 10 € per months (I'm realizing rn that the first number suggests he gets as much as the onlyfans grandma)#also he literally gets zero € no matter what our parents think. maybe they found those estimates and that's why they're like that #in short: bro this is so cringe.

I would have never guessed in my life that there'd come a moment in time where I ask my coworker if they have heard of a thing called onlyfans

#personal #I'm supposed to show this new coworker the ropes so I check the cases they work on which is why I need to explain this kinda stuff to them #we had an application for Sozialleistungen and on the Kontoauszug was money coming in from the OF company #no judging just seemed kinda funny that this 60 year old is getting money from there.#It's just gonna be a little awkward to ask the applicant what that money is #I told this my brother and his first reaction was to ask whether the onlyfans money counts as income (reducing the Leistungen)

THE SPIDER HAS (POTENTIALLY) BEEN CAUGHT-

my dad just came back to check if the spider has crawled out of its hiding spot (we didn't see the spider anywhere in my room though) so my dad left. a short time later he came back with a glass and a magazine asking if the spider from my room had been this big or even bigger (it fit inside the glass, he was worried before that the glass would be too small for the figuratively little shit)

apparently the thing crawled out under the door and was just chilling in the Treppenhaus when he left. we assume that it's the same spider (otherwise it'd have been two spiders?? that have been terrorizing me for days by just sitting there menacingly????) but just to make sure my dad advised me to still sleep on the couch

#personal #I mean I was thinking I'll still sleep on the couch bc we aren't 100% sure that there isn't another spider in my room but #the fact my dad thought the same was like ( O o O) wha-#bruh just thinking about the spider again gives me literal chills why the fuck am I like this #the spider btw has been flung from the balcony (1. Obergeschoss) so you gotta determine yourself if the spider is still alive or not #oh another also. my dad also pointed out that everything's closed so the spiders has been crawling from room to room #the fact that there are literal holes in my bathroom and above every window didn't even cross my mind as potential spider entry points.#man I feel like every tag I add to this story is a another comedy stint unraveling to the average person #like 'what do you mean there are holes where your shower and toilet were? what do you mean it's been like that for at least four years??'

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I barely do anything.