"it's not that deep" START DIGGING!!
DIG
DIG
DIG
DIG
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@shivanwurm
"it's not that deep" START DIGGING!!
DIG
DIG
DIG
DIG
A group of far-future linguists and archeologists suddenly *poof* into existence in front of me. One is holding a tablet. "What is the difference between 'red sauce' and 'tomato sauce?'" they ask me. "The distinction is not clear in extant texts from this time and place."
"Uh, they're the same thing," I tell them. "Who are you?"
"Yes!" the being with the tablet exclaims.
One of the other researchers groans. "No! My thesis...months of writing wasted..." One of the others comforts them.
"Now, what is this object for?" The first researcher holds up a discolored, dinged-up plastic object. It's clearly been buried in the ground for quite some time, but the two holes and the scuffed plastic window are distinctive.
"That's a cassette tape. You record music with it."
"Interesting, interesting." The being enters something on the tablet.
"How are you speaking English?"
"Sophisticated translation technology," one of the researchers confides. "We are students of your society. From the future."
"What does this pictogram represent?" The researcher with the tablet turns it around so that the screen faces me.
It's the eggplant emoji.
"Sex," I say. "Why do you need to ask me this if you can time travel or whatever? Can't you just go wherever you want to go and look around and see how these things are being used?"
The beings shift guiltily and look at each other. "Technically, travel to times and places prior the advent of time travel is strictly prohibited. Paradoxes, you know."
"Oh."
"We must be get back before our advisor returns to the lab. Just don't tell anyone you saw us, alright? The space-time continuity depends on it. Can you do that?"
"Uh, sure, I guess?"
One of them pats me on the head. "And don't go to Mars."
"Okay. Wait, why? Is it dangerous?"
"No. Just not worth it."
The group disappears in a shimmering light.
The cassette clatters to the sidewalk behind them.
Out of befuddlement, mainly, I pick it up. It's clearly old, discolored and scuffed, but it still has tape in it.
I carry the tape around in my pocket for a while. The curiosity builds. I want to know what's on that tape. I don't have a cassette player anymore, so I go to Goodwill and pick up the first one I can find, praying that it still works. I plug it in. It turns on.
I slide the tape inside. It's dirty, but it still seems to be in decent shape. I snap the player closed and hit play. The wheels begin to turn. I hold my breath.
A familiar tune starts up. A wobbly voice comes out of the machine.
We're no strangers to love
minotaur costumes from the lion, the witch and the wardrobe
I had an unsavory thought that I won’t share
I’ll share mine. I want him to fuck me so deep you can see his cock pushing out of my stomach
I wish c.s.lewis could see that comment
bud this isn't from 10 years ago this is from almost 20 years ago
happy 19th anniversary to freecupholder.exe
HAPPY 20TH ANNIVERSARY TO FREECUPHOLDER.EXE
The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.
Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.
So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.
Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.
oh shit
As the OP of this post, I’m going to threaten that if this gets to one million notes by the 10 year anniversary on 1 June 2026, one year from today, I will get a lower back tattoo of the loch ness bear monster.
I know it feels like a lot but I really believe we can do it 20k notes per day isn’t that hard to do?
I’m sad because at this rate we might not make it
it's wild that popular discourse around migraines is that there are too many people who claim to have migraines but "just have bad headaches". this is the exact opposite of my experience? i'm still trying to convince several of my friends that their "bad tension headaches" that are unilateral, throbbing, cause light sensitivity, nausea, etc, are migraines lmao. migraine is underdiagnosed and undertreated by every metric i can think of.
this narrative is not harmless! it prevents people from getting treatment that could really benefit them. so i would like it to die. thank you.
Blue and green land snail, Antidrymaeus stramineus, Bulimulidae
Found only in Saint Vincent and the Grenadines in the Caribbean
Photo 1 by josh_2396, 2 by floydh, 3 by peterzik, and 4 by islander784
Ryan Gosling’s career has just been one long quest to climb the Warner Bros water tower
that man has been trying to climb this tower since he was 16. he has asked multiple times, and every time they said no, but now he’s famous enough & variety was able to convince them to do a shoot on the tower. it all led here. it was all for this.
I’m obsessed with the implication that this was a coming-of-age ritual where a boy becomes a man, like a bar mitzvah
Release the Warners siblings while he’s up there.
Welcome to being an adult! Featuring such injury causing events as
- sneezed wrong
- turned your neck a little too fast
- slept weird
- took the trash out to the curb and stepped at a slightly different angle than usual
- breathed
- failed to breathe properly
- breathed in the wrong stuff. Allergy time
- looked too hard at something too far away
- knees
Source
Late night, coffee-fueled graphic design. I'm not going to explain
There'll be mulch when you are done
Lay your wormy head to rest
Don't you crawl no more