Simply nothing at all

Just a weird book lover who loves travelling even though I don´t have any money for it. I love owls, because of their big cute eyes. And remember Fresh Roses in the garden need a rain ...

[shiyu-chi]

The dressmaker by Rosalie Ham

This was something like a fate. I have watched trailer to the film that is based on this novel just few days before I got this book to my birthday. I was so happy, now I had the chance to compare both film and book. To be honest, I have not watched it yet, I´ve only read it and oh boy, that book is so damn awesome. It is so satisfying to read the end after everything she had to go through. I am not vengeful person, but I enjoyed this revenge so damn much. OH SO SATISFYING!!

[shiyu-chi]

Oh God, I am so bored and Dr House is my miracle. 

[shiyu-chi]

Five feet apart by Rachel Lippincott

One of the most touching stories I have ever read and seen. First, I saw a movie and at the end, I cried as a small baby. Then, I read the book and I thought that I know what will happen I would not cry at the end. Wrong! I cried even more.

The second amazing thing about this that the awareness of this illness is now bigger. People can watch or read about the treatments that are really realistic. CFers do not need to feel so alone on this planet. We will know that you suffer. We will support you and we will love you for your bravery.

I truly recommend this one to everybody. Everyone should read this to know that around us are people that they are feeling lucky just to have one more minute of the time. They do not complain about not having money or that T-shirt from the last sale, they are grateful that they have time.

Please read this, it will open your eyes and you will look on the world different way.

[shiyu-chi]

please people, just be kind and loving towards each other. It is the least you can do. It costs nothing and still it gives you back the happiest moments in your life

[shiyu-chi]

Irish people try alcohol

Watching people try many varieties of alcohol, the weirdest shots and foreign strongest drinks is the best thing in the world. The best part is when you see they are drunk and do not care millions of people will watch them.

I love it. I want to do it some day. Please 

[shiyu-chi]

Body image

Yesreday I saw a video on YouTube about how people are see themselves and how they are seen in another´s people eyes. It was about weight issues, which one popular singer had, when she started her carreer. People wrote her mean letters and could not concentrate on anything else but this.

This reminded me, when I started to weight and look at myself with hate. It was, when I was around 10 years old. Our teacher gave us homework to weight ourselves. It was for the first time, I used the scales and I was okay with it until I heard everybody´s elses results. I was one of the heaviest.

I must say, I am not fat. I have never been. But on the other hand, I never was super skinny, too. And my friends kind of were. We were saying our results in school out loud and when I heard everybody´s weight, I was ashamed of myself. And I lied about my weight.

I did not know why. I just did it.

Today I am soon to be 19 years old. I am normal, I am not fat and I am NOT the supermodel, too. But still, I have days when I hate myself for how I look. I am scared of christmas time because this time of the year means a lot of weight gain. I am super anxious, when I am not able to lose this “christmas weight” during the year. 

I control my weight many times a day. I do not think it is okay, but I cannot help myself.

And yesterday when I saw this video (which I recommend btw), I felt like I am not in this alone, and one day, maybe I will be the confident one and I will laugh as I will remeber this. I really hope so … <3 

[shiyu-chi]

Five feet apart

I just saw Five feet apart movie. And guys, I need some time to get over it. 

At first, when I watched the trailer, I was saying to myself this would be similar to The fault in our stars. But in some way, it is. There is a girl and a boy. They both have dangerous desease, some might die in the end.

But this movie, it torn me out. As I said I need a time. Time of the whole universe, to be honest. I think I am not gonna sleep tonight. 

This lovely movie is too much for me. Highly recommend. :D 

[shiyu-chi]

Physics Class

Today, I had to dealt with really embarassing situation in Physics class. This school year it was my first physics class and it was special, because after a long time I have a new teacher.

I was very nervous about going into that class, because I am a little afraid of this teacher. They are rumours about her around the school. That is nothing unusual, there are rumours about every teacher. But she is a scary woman and I am not comfortable around her even though I do not reason.

Or I haven´t had until today.

It was a first class, she was telling us about grades, about topics we should learn, you know, normal first lesson. But then we started with a theory.

She gave us a question. When I am in a boat, she is moving and I will have an apple which I toss it up above my head. What will happen? 

There are two possible answers. The apple will fall down into my hand or it will fall behind me. 

I was for the first answer, but she wanted my friend to answer. He said the first answer, but she did not seem very satisfied. And she asked me what I think.

And I must say I am not some genius and I am pretty shy and I do not like talk in public. So I panicked, a lot. And I said that the second answer is right. Of course, it is not, but I was panicking and I wanted to disappear.

She asked people in class if they thought the same. Only one hand of some boy I did not know raised. And that was a real catastrophe.

She said that it is interesting that he is the only one. And she suspected, if the reason why he raised a hand is because he thinks I look pretty. And she asked him if thinks I am pretty.

And of course He is gentleman and said: Yes I think so.

You can imagine my face. I was red,it was sooooo embarassing moment. The teacher continued and asked me: Are you taken or single?

And I was like: mmmmmmmmm single. I did not know what to say. I wanted to be invisible.

She continued: Is he attractive for you? 

I was like: mmmmmmmmmmmm no. - I wanted it to stop. So I made it stop.

But I am a little afraid I hurt his feelings even though I do not know. He must feel terrible and he must hate me.

I hope there will be a chance to talk about it with him. I want to apologize so badly.

[shiyu-chi]

Before Harrry Potter came to my life, I was a walking body without soul. After he left I cannot understand how I am able to live among all these muggles. 

[shiyu-chi]

Sasha Sloan's music is mood for life.

By me

[shiyu-chi]

Born from rain

I was crying, or maybe not. I cannot remember the moment clearly. The only thing I am not able to forget is I was extremely happy.

Why? Who knows, maybe the rain drops. They are the only witnesses. They were falling down on my clothes and my skin. I was walking barefoot in wet grass. So sweet moment. 

Why was I happy? Do you really need the answer? 

[shiyu-chi]

Fear

Hi,

I need to share something. Maybe you don’t care what I want to say and that is okay. I would probably never read this either. :D The topic is graduation. 

Next year in May I have to graduate from four subjects - biology, chemistry, english and czech language. It is just September and someone might say why I talk about this, there is plenty of time for this. But true is, there is not. Not for me. I am already scared of this sooooo much. Our teachers told us everything would be okay, we will be trying some test before. 

But I don’ t think that the problem is here. I am scared of disappointment. Not mine, but parent’s disappointment, friend’s disappoinment and others. They love and wish me well. They keep saying - you are clever girl, you will pass without any problem. 

But what if they are wrong? What if I am not clever at all? What if I am just good at faking it? 

I am scared of finding out that my life is built on lie. What if all my fears are true? I am not clever, I am just excellent pretender. I would never be able to face into friend’s face again. I am scared of disappointment, that is my biggest fear right now. 

If you read it still I want to thank you. It means a lot to me. I don’t want to sound like I am depressed, I just want to express my current feelings. It helps me a lot to bare it. 

Just a reminder: I am happy and you should be also happy, because this is the meaning of life. WE MUST BE HAPPY!!

Have a nice day

Bye 

[shiyu-chi]

Wonderland

I love the day when I get up and it looks like a normal day, nothing special I could expect. But then my friends tell me “Go with us, it will be fun, you must gooo!”, so you go and enjoy one of the best moments of you life. Even if it just means you would sit in Café and talk. The unexpected moments, the moments we did not plan, the moments that makes us happy - this is a true life and I love it!!!!

[shiyu-chi]

Dreams are bigger than us

You know questions like “what is your biggest dream?”, everybody wants to know it even if you really don’t know yet. But you say something, the first thing that come out in your mind that sounds good and acceptable  for everybody. 

But have you thought about this sometimes? About your dreams? Is there something you need to know, see, hear, eat to fullfil your life?

I have never thought about it. not really. but one day I just realized I cannot die until I travel through whole Great Britain. And it is not only a wish, I sometimes feel anxious about not visiting this country at all. And I am scared of thought that I would never get there. It’s weird, I know but I just feel it this way.

So that is my biggest dream, to travel to the Isle of Skye, Edinburgh, Dublin, London and everything there. And I truly mean it. So when somebody asks me what my biggest dream is, I say this. And I am happy about it, because it is not just something superficial. It’s deep inside me, this wish is part of me. When I say it out loud I express my true self.

I think everyone should find their real dreams, because they can find who They really are.

Sorry for losing your time reading this and sorry for terrible english. I just felt i needed to say it at 11:33 p.m. I cannot sleep, so I write my thoughts. I am sorry

[shiyu-chi]

What to do when your happiness ruines your chances of really good sleeping? In Summer it is pretty easy, you can enjoy it and get up late, but now it is not a good time for that. I need to get up to school!!!

[shiyu-chi]

Oh God, why can't somebody invent a teleport so I could sleep longer! 🤗🤷🏻🙏🏽

[shiyu-chi]

I need one day where I would just read a great book and drink hot chocolate and after that day I need another day of looking at Doctor Who and eating cookies. Simply I need to work as a critic of everything.