Who’s Yo’ Daddy?!

Tonianne, 27, ♋️ NYC

[shmershmershmer]

The hardest part about this for me is having to imagine you giving your body away to another girl. I can’t even imagine letting another man’s hand touch me right now or even think he could and I know that you’re gunna break any day now because you’re “backed up”. Watching our videos makes me sick. I know you kissed someone already. Like I never even mattered. Like none of that was ever important to you. No wonder you never made me finish because you were never able to make love to me you just wanted to bust a nut and the whole time I was giving you such an important part of me and that makes me so angry. Stupidest part is I would probably fuck if you asked me to because it’s the only way I could feel close to you right now. You basically hate me. You’re gunna use me and hurt me just like you did to Sonja to prove a point and that’s going to hurt me so much more than just not having you in the first place because how did it come to this? How did we get here?

[shmershmershmer]

Like I feel very strongly like ur sliding into hundreds of girls DMs being your most thirsty and disgusting self so I wanna do it back just to be a Dick but I don’t want that- I just want you lololol I’m a joke

[rhubarbes]

via Greco Tattoos

[dreamgirlzonly]

Valeria Keeler

[peetejoshua]

[butch-king-frankenstein]

if Homer Simpson was exposed to top/bottom discourse he would say “mmm… subs” while thinking about a big sandwich. and we should all strive to be more like him in this way

[taxidermychrist-deactivated2025]

*covered in blood & in visible distress* i just need to write a list

[tonyalmeida]

[zanta-is-feelin-some-kinda-way]

that "OH!" when he understands felt so magical

[love-personal]

[bowserwife]

Sorry I cried wordlessly and motionless in your arms for like 30 minutes, that was probably scary. Can I still suck your dick?

[shmershmershmer]

Miss you so much it hurts but not enough to come back to you because that would hurt so much more.

[budwaiserr]

[lexxnova]

Energy

[brwax]

[beaft]

if you are reading this i want you to stop for a moment and imagine a crab

[shmershmershmer]

[shmershmershmer]

Ugh lol I give up.

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

I was at my cousin’s house for a family barbecue and she shushed us all bc her neighbor ‘The Captain’ was walking by with a dog, and he was just some skinny guy with a long ponytail and a captain’s hat walking an irish wolfhound so we all like ‘what’s the big deal’ but she told us to wait and then like ten minutes later he passed again on his way back to his house but he just…had a different dog. it was like a cocker spaniel. she said every day he leaves the house with the wolfhound and comes back with the tiny dog and she’s never seen them get returned either way. she can never find out where he walks to. shes been watching him for years. my family was freaking the fuck out one of my other cousins looked like he was about to have an aneurysm.  

[riarklescomets]

This is comedy gold

[hulking-godless-child-beast]

#Both the dogs can shapeshift but they shapeshift into the same guy#so they have to take turns when they go out together

clearly the only logical explanation