The king of Hell!

|| SPOILERS FROM HAZBIN S1 || || NSFW + SFW || || MOD IS 18 || || BLOG IS 16+ ||

[shortkingofhell-luci]

WELCOME, WACKEY SINNERS!

"The names Lucifer, Lucifer morningstar. Also known as the devil, the big boss of hell himself! Haha! Charmed, I'm sure. But anyway. I was told this place is quite popular so here i am! Please send asks. I don't bite! (Unless..) but please, come on over!"

° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° °

PLEASE READ BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING!

Welcome, my name's Dirk! i use he/they pronouns, and im pansexual. Please take a moment to read before interacting.

THIS BLOG IS 16+!

Do not send a bunch of asks in one day please and thank you. I'd like to get to them all and just spamming makes me anxious and i don't wanna forget about some people!

If i have said something makes me uncomfortable, stop what you're doing. Do not keep pushing or doing it. It's triggering and doesn't help my anxiety very much.

All ships are allowed! I absolutely adore ships! If you don't like that, then do not interact. It's that simple.

• NSFW IS ALLOWED, BUT NO MINORS PLEASE!

I'LL ADD MORE WHEN I THINK OF MORE THINGS! BUT NOW PLEASE RESPECT EVERYTHING ON HERE. TYSM FOR READING!

[official-alastor]

"Hey, Bambi! Haven't bothered you in a while!"

° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° @shortkingofhell-luci

“You haven’t. And it’s been quite pleasant.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Well, now that I'm here, I suppose I'll fuck you"

[official-alastor]

“….I’m sorry, what???”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'm gonna fuck you-? What's so confusing?"

[official-alastor]

“You most certainly will not!”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I meant fuck WITH you!"

[official-alastor]

“….well, this is just awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Silly me- right?"

"So.. h- how's everything going?"

[official-alastor]

“Exceedingly awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I am so so sorry-"

[official-alastor]

“Are you? Are you really?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah.. definitely."

[official-alastor]

“Hm. …all right, fair enough. Moving on then. To what do I owe the dubious pleasure circumstances of your company, Your Royal Shortness?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Well, I was hoping you'd like to... help me with something?"

[official-alastor]

“You want me to help you… Oh this is rich. Help you with what?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I- uhmm... help me with my wings-?"

[official-alastor]

“Your wings? In what way?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uh- brush them?"

"I don't even know what I'm saying because someone made this awkward!"

[official-alastor]

“That would be you, yes. You made it awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I did no such thing"

[official-alastor]

“Oh, you absolutely did make it awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, anyways. You kind of remind me of someone"

[official-alastor]

“Dare I ask who?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"My next husband"

[official-alastor]

“…..what?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"It's a joke, bambi, chill."

[official-alastor]

“Is it though?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Why are you asking? Do you wanna be my husband?"

[official-alastor]

“Did you just PROPOSE?!”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"No! But.. I could if you want me to"

[official-alastor]

“Hold on! Aren’t you already married?!”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Lilith left me seven years ago"

[official-alastor]

“But aren’t you still technically married?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"At this point, I don't know."

[official-alastor]

“Can you really propose to me then?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yes the fuck i can! If Lilith cared about me she'd be back by now!"

[official-alastor]

“Granted, but are you actually divorced?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uhh, probably?"

[official-alastor]

“I’m going to need a definite yes or no answer. And if the answer is yes, then I’m going to need some form of proof. This is Hell. There’s always a paper trail.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I guess I'm divorced, yes. I have no clue where the papers are though"

[official-alastor]

“Papers. I insist. I play second fiddle to no one.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"But I don't know where they are!"

[official-alastor]

“Then I suggest you start looking.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Why would I bother looking if you're just gonna reject me?"

[official-alastor]

“Am I?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"...Are you going to reject me?"

[official-alastor]

“Yes. Because you don’t just jump right into marriage. Even with a king. You do the courting and getting to know each other things first. Not that I’m an expert, mind you, but even I know diving headfirst into marriage is a bad idea.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh! Right- so then be my boyfriend."

[official-alastor]

“And what would being your boyfriend entail exactly? That word sounds so juvenile…”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Can you just agree already?"

[official-alastor]

“I never enter into an agreement without knowing what I’m getting myself into first.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You're getting into a romantic relationship with the king of hell"

[official-alastor]

“Mhmmm. And aren’t boundaries and limits important? We should know these things from the beginning don’t you think?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I know that- are you going to date me or not?"

[official-alastor]

“Maybe.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I need a valid answer. I don't like this weird feeling you're giving me right now so can you just answer the question with a yes or no?"

[official-alastor]

“Fine. But don’t touch me. I dislike it greatly.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Alright, no touching."

[official-alastor]

“We’ll discuss it more later. Do we have a deal?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, of course! Deal."

[official-alastor]

“All right. Good. …I have no idea what happens next.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Neither do I."

[official-alastor]

“You’re the one who’s been married.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I've never dated a guy before!"

[official-alastor]

“Well, what a coincidence. That makes two of us.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uh- Do you want a kiss?"

[official-alastor]

“I do believe that falls under the ‘no touching’ clause.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You think of something to do then!"

[official-alastor]

“All right, answer me this then: why me? Hell has no shortage of potential partners. So why me? Genuinely curious because I was under the assumption that you couldn’t stand me from day one.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh, trust me, I can't stand you. You're one of the most annoying people I've met and you get under my skin. But- I'd be lying if I said I hated you. Sure, you're not exactly the best. But you've helped Charlie with the hotel, even when I wasn't around. So, why not you? You've already helped Charlie accomplish so much with her dream, even if you're mean about it. But I do respect you for it, and I don't see why I wouldn't want you."

[official-alastor]

“…I wish that I could say I felt flattered by all of that, but I’d be lying if I did. If anything, it seems like you’re settling for me out of obligation perhaps. You don’t hate me, you say, but you don’t even seem to like me either. I may not have been in a relationship before, but even I know this doesn’t sound like the makings of a solid one.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'm not doing this out of anything! I genuinely like you. I don't just go around dating if I don't like the person. Why'd you even agree to date me? You're always mocking me and you seem to get annoyed with me."

[official-alastor]

“… are we having our first fight already? Who am I kidding? It’s us. Of course we’re having our first fight already. I’m not mocking, I promise. I’m just…surprisingly amused in an oddly affectionate sort of way. That’s the surprising part.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh yeah, suree. And ducks can talk, riight."

[official-alastor]

“They can with a bit of magic perhaps, but that’s beside the point. Anyway, back to the matter at hand. You give me your word this isn’t due to some fucked up sense of obligation yes?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Of course it's not some fucked up obligation! Do you really think I'd do that?!"

[official-alastor]

“I would hope that you wouldn’t. I don’t ask as a slight toward you. I ask due to a genuine need for clarity. Nothing more.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You know, I still wanna know why you're dating me."

[official-alastor]

“Seems like we’re both asking the same question.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"… If you didn't have a reason then why do it?"

[official-alastor]

“Because I want to?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"For what reason? You don't seem to like me."

[official-alastor]

“That…isn’t true honestly.” Alastor reached out, extending a hand, breaking his own ‘no touch’ rule by making the offer.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"What- what's this for?"

[official-alastor]

“A show of sincerity,” Alastor replied, hand still extended if Lucifer chose to accept it.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You don't need to break your rule for me. You might get uncomfortable or something, even if you're doing it willingly. I promise you I'm not rejecting your touch, I'm just sticking by the rule you gave me so I don't risk anything."

[official-alastor]

“I don’t mind touching on occasion. Especially if I’m the one instigating. Though…I do very much appreciate the show of respect.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"So, are you still comfortable with me touching you?"

[official-alastor]

“In this instance, I’ll allow it.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer quickly grabbed Alastor's hand, pulling it a little

"I like your hand, I guess-"

[official-alastor]

“You guess?” Alastor asked, but allowed the contact, slender hand warm and tipped with red claws.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I mean- I could hold your hand for hours."

[official-alastor]

“You… could…?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer pulled his hand back and covered his lips, looking back and forth towards Alastor and his hands

"Shit- that was so corny, it just slipped out- I am so sorry-"

[official-alastor]

Alastor smirked, clearly amused. With the same hand Lucifer had been holding, he reached out and lightly tapped the spot where a nose should have been on the devil’s face. “Don’t be.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"That was so stupid, nobody says cheesy stuff anymore-"

[official-alastor]

“I’m not bothered by it.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"This is gonna haunt me forever."

[official-alastor]

Alastor reached over and took Lucifer’s hand again, giving it a light squeeze with those thin fingers. “Lucifer. It’s fine. Really. Don’t fret over it.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer stared at Alastor's hand for a good few moments, staying silent. He then glanced at Alastor and spoke up

"Y'know.. you're not as bad as I thought you were."

[official-alastor]

“Well, there goes my reputation,” Alastor said, but he was smirking. Teasing even.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh, ha ha. Way to ruin the nice moment."

[official-alastor]

“It’s called a joke, darling.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I've never heard you call people darling before. Have you always called people that along with dear?"

[official-alastor]

“I can’t say I’ve ever really made a habit of it, no.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"So- so why'd you call me that-"

[official-alastor]

“Seemed fitting. Did you not like it?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"No, no! I did like it."

[official-alastor]

“Well, all right then. Darling.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Now shut up, Bambi. You're gonna ruin my calm mood."

[official-alastor]

“You’ll ruin mine if you keep calling me Bambi.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"The name is cute, and I think it's perfect for you"

[official-alastor]

“I disagree.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"… Can I pet your ears"

[official-alastor]

“…………………fine.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Are you aware of our height difference-?"

[official-alastor]

“Are you aware you have wings?” Alastor smirked, but conjured a chair to take a seat in and put himself more at Lucifer’s level. “Better?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh shut up. And yes, that is better."

Lucifer slowly reached his hand over to Alastor's head, keeping it still before moving his hand towards the others ear

[official-alastor]

Lucifer would find Alastor’s ears soft to the touch, fuzzy and warm. One of them flicked when he made contact with it. But Alastor held still all the while. “Happy now?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, your ears are great"

[official-alastor]

“Of course they are. They’re mine. But thank you, darling.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Now get off your chair so I can sit on it."

[official-alastor]

“You can’t just make your own?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I want yours"

[official-alastor]

“Why?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Because, now get up and let the king sit down."

[official-alastor]

Alastor arched a brow at the diminutive monarch, his trademark smirk in place. “And if I say no, darling?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'll sit on you."

[official-alastor]

“Ha. I think that was your plan all along, my king.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Maybe it was. But if you don't get off of that chair, I will actually sit on you."

[official-alastor]

Alastor said nothing, his trademark smirk in place, sharp teeth on full display…and remained exactly where he was.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer stared at him for a moment, looking annoyed. He then patted Alastor's lap and sat on it

"There we go."

[official-alastor]

The sinner shifted just slightly beneath him to get more comfortable without jostling Lucifer too much. He arched a brow. “Satisfactory?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I mean, I wanted the chair. But I guess this is good enough."

[official-alastor]

“Such flattery.” Alastor rolled his eyes.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uh- at least this is comfortable."

[official-alastor]

Alastor shifted Lucifer on his lap to wind his arms around him from behind. “Is this all right?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, that's fine."

[official-alastor]

“All right then.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Are you uncomfortable-? I can get off if you are."

[official-alastor]

“Surprisingly, not at all, sire. Are you?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uhm- no, I'm not uncomfortable."

[official-alastor]

“Excellent! Well, that’s settled then.” Alastor even gave him a playful little wink.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

The devil slightly tensed up and looked away, tugging at his own shirt

"Yep! Yeah! It is excellent!"

[official-alastor]

The demon resisted the urge to sigh, arching a brow. “Have I done something wrong?” The tension was hard to miss and the king not exactly subtle.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Nope, Everything's fine! I'm fine!"

[official-alastor]

“Are you quite sure?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah! You're just a bit.. close-"

[official-alastor]

“Well, we *are* partners now, are we not? But you can move if you wish of course.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer quickly pulled him closer, trying to maintain eye-contact

"No. It's fine, really."

[official-alastor]

Alastor squeezed his hand gently. “If you say so.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You know.. not saying I would, But I could kiss you right now."

[official-alastor]

“That would make us even closer.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"That's kind of the point"

[official-alastor]

“Do it then,” the demon dared boldly, his trademark smirk forming.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"... What?"

[official-alastor]

“I said…do it then,” Alastor repeated calmly, his smirk still firmly in place.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh- yeah, right.."

He'd grabbed the others' cheeks and quickly pecked his lips

"S- see? All done!"

[official-alastor]

Alastor’s brows rose slowly. “And what if I told you that was my first kiss?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"...Oh– I'm sorry- I shouldn't have just done that, I should've asked first"

[official-alastor]

Alastor leaned in and closed the distance between them, brushing a lingering kiss to the king’s lips. Surprisingly soft and gentle. “It wasn’t.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"That.. kinda felt good-"

[official-alastor]

“Do you want more? Your Majesty?” Alastor grinned mischievously at Lucifer.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I mean– if you're offering, I'd gladly accept."

[official-alastor]

“Then I’m offering.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Well, I accept."

[official-alastor]

“Then what are you waiting for?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh, right-"

He would lean in and kiss Alastor, keeping the kiss going for a few moments before pulling away, quickly clearing his throat

"Was that okay-?"

[official-alastor]

Alastor chuckled as the kiss ended, inclining his head. “It was.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Now we know I'm a better kisser."

[official-alastor]

“Better than what?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Better than you, at kissing and everything else."

[official-alastor]

“No need to be rude, dear.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'm being truthful"

[official-alastor]

“Correction: you’re being insulting. And it’s a relationship. Not a competition.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

".. Now I feel bad."

[official-alastor]

Alastor sighed and gave into the impulse to kiss his cheek. “You’re fine.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I don't get you, one minute you're nice to me, and the next minute I don't know what to think! You either like me or hate me so pick one and stick with it. It's confusing me"

[official-alastor]

“It’s not hate when I point out if you’re insulting or offending me. It’s called communication.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'm not talking about that!"

[official-alastor]

“All right, what are you talking about then? So we’re on the same page so to speak.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Im talking about, like- before we started dating you were an absolute asshole and pointing out my height. You also made a no touch rule and broke it, you're even kissing me. But I feel– lost and confused, you're giving me so many mixed signals."

[official-alastor]

“…I see. I apologize for the confusion then. I’ll…try to do better and be clearer. In my defense, I didn’t expect to like touching or kissing you. That’s never happened before.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You.. like it-?"

[official-alastor]

“I’m as surprised as you are.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Y'know, another kiss doesn't sound so bad."

[official-alastor]

"Hey, Bambi! Haven't bothered you in a while!"

° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° @shortkingofhell-luci

“You haven’t. And it’s been quite pleasant.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Well, now that I'm here, I suppose I'll fuck you"

[official-alastor]

“….I’m sorry, what???”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'm gonna fuck you-? What's so confusing?"

[official-alastor]

“You most certainly will not!”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I meant fuck WITH you!"

[official-alastor]

“….well, this is just awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Silly me- right?"

"So.. h- how's everything going?"

[official-alastor]

“Exceedingly awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I am so so sorry-"

[official-alastor]

“Are you? Are you really?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah.. definitely."

[official-alastor]

“Hm. …all right, fair enough. Moving on then. To what do I owe the dubious pleasure circumstances of your company, Your Royal Shortness?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Well, I was hoping you'd like to... help me with something?"

[official-alastor]

“You want me to help you… Oh this is rich. Help you with what?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I- uhmm... help me with my wings-?"

[official-alastor]

“Your wings? In what way?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uh- brush them?"

"I don't even know what I'm saying because someone made this awkward!"

[official-alastor]

“That would be you, yes. You made it awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I did no such thing"

[official-alastor]

“Oh, you absolutely did make it awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, anyways. You kind of remind me of someone"

[official-alastor]

“Dare I ask who?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"My next husband"

[official-alastor]

“…..what?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"It's a joke, bambi, chill."

[official-alastor]

“Is it though?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Why are you asking? Do you wanna be my husband?"

[official-alastor]

“Did you just PROPOSE?!”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"No! But.. I could if you want me to"

[official-alastor]

“Hold on! Aren’t you already married?!”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Lilith left me seven years ago"

[official-alastor]

“But aren’t you still technically married?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"At this point, I don't know."

[official-alastor]

“Can you really propose to me then?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yes the fuck i can! If Lilith cared about me she'd be back by now!"

[official-alastor]

“Granted, but are you actually divorced?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uhh, probably?"

[official-alastor]

“I’m going to need a definite yes or no answer. And if the answer is yes, then I’m going to need some form of proof. This is Hell. There’s always a paper trail.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I guess I'm divorced, yes. I have no clue where the papers are though"

[official-alastor]

“Papers. I insist. I play second fiddle to no one.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"But I don't know where they are!"

[official-alastor]

“Then I suggest you start looking.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Why would I bother looking if you're just gonna reject me?"

[official-alastor]

“Am I?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"...Are you going to reject me?"

[official-alastor]

“Yes. Because you don’t just jump right into marriage. Even with a king. You do the courting and getting to know each other things first. Not that I’m an expert, mind you, but even I know diving headfirst into marriage is a bad idea.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh! Right- so then be my boyfriend."

[official-alastor]

“And what would being your boyfriend entail exactly? That word sounds so juvenile…”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Can you just agree already?"

[official-alastor]

“I never enter into an agreement without knowing what I’m getting myself into first.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You're getting into a romantic relationship with the king of hell"

[official-alastor]

“Mhmmm. And aren’t boundaries and limits important? We should know these things from the beginning don’t you think?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I know that- are you going to date me or not?"

[official-alastor]

“Maybe.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I need a valid answer. I don't like this weird feeling you're giving me right now so can you just answer the question with a yes or no?"

[official-alastor]

“Fine. But don’t touch me. I dislike it greatly.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Alright, no touching."

[official-alastor]

“We’ll discuss it more later. Do we have a deal?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, of course! Deal."

[official-alastor]

“All right. Good. …I have no idea what happens next.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Neither do I."

[official-alastor]

“You’re the one who’s been married.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I've never dated a guy before!"

[official-alastor]

“Well, what a coincidence. That makes two of us.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uh- Do you want a kiss?"

[official-alastor]

“I do believe that falls under the ‘no touching’ clause.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You think of something to do then!"

[official-alastor]

“All right, answer me this then: why me? Hell has no shortage of potential partners. So why me? Genuinely curious because I was under the assumption that you couldn’t stand me from day one.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh, trust me, I can't stand you. You're one of the most annoying people I've met and you get under my skin. But- I'd be lying if I said I hated you. Sure, you're not exactly the best. But you've helped Charlie with the hotel, even when I wasn't around. So, why not you? You've already helped Charlie accomplish so much with her dream, even if you're mean about it. But I do respect you for it, and I don't see why I wouldn't want you."

[official-alastor]

“…I wish that I could say I felt flattered by all of that, but I’d be lying if I did. If anything, it seems like you’re settling for me out of obligation perhaps. You don’t hate me, you say, but you don’t even seem to like me either. I may not have been in a relationship before, but even I know this doesn’t sound like the makings of a solid one.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'm not doing this out of anything! I genuinely like you. I don't just go around dating if I don't like the person. Why'd you even agree to date me? You're always mocking me and you seem to get annoyed with me."

[official-alastor]

“… are we having our first fight already? Who am I kidding? It’s us. Of course we’re having our first fight already. I’m not mocking, I promise. I’m just…surprisingly amused in an oddly affectionate sort of way. That’s the surprising part.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh yeah, suree. And ducks can talk, riight."

[official-alastor]

“They can with a bit of magic perhaps, but that’s beside the point. Anyway, back to the matter at hand. You give me your word this isn’t due to some fucked up sense of obligation yes?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Of course it's not some fucked up obligation! Do you really think I'd do that?!"

[official-alastor]

“I would hope that you wouldn’t. I don’t ask as a slight toward you. I ask due to a genuine need for clarity. Nothing more.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You know, I still wanna know why you're dating me."

[official-alastor]

“Seems like we’re both asking the same question.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"… If you didn't have a reason then why do it?"

[official-alastor]

“Because I want to?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"For what reason? You don't seem to like me."

[official-alastor]

“That…isn’t true honestly.” Alastor reached out, extending a hand, breaking his own ‘no touch’ rule by making the offer.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"What- what's this for?"

[official-alastor]

“A show of sincerity,” Alastor replied, hand still extended if Lucifer chose to accept it.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You don't need to break your rule for me. You might get uncomfortable or something, even if you're doing it willingly. I promise you I'm not rejecting your touch, I'm just sticking by the rule you gave me so I don't risk anything."

[official-alastor]

“I don’t mind touching on occasion. Especially if I’m the one instigating. Though…I do very much appreciate the show of respect.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"So, are you still comfortable with me touching you?"

[official-alastor]

“In this instance, I’ll allow it.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer quickly grabbed Alastor's hand, pulling it a little

"I like your hand, I guess-"

[official-alastor]

“You guess?” Alastor asked, but allowed the contact, slender hand warm and tipped with red claws.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I mean- I could hold your hand for hours."

[official-alastor]

“You… could…?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer pulled his hand back and covered his lips, looking back and forth towards Alastor and his hands

"Shit- that was so corny, it just slipped out- I am so sorry-"

[official-alastor]

Alastor smirked, clearly amused. With the same hand Lucifer had been holding, he reached out and lightly tapped the spot where a nose should have been on the devil’s face. “Don’t be.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"That was so stupid, nobody says cheesy stuff anymore-"

[official-alastor]

“I’m not bothered by it.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"This is gonna haunt me forever."

[official-alastor]

Alastor reached over and took Lucifer’s hand again, giving it a light squeeze with those thin fingers. “Lucifer. It’s fine. Really. Don’t fret over it.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer stared at Alastor's hand for a good few moments, staying silent. He then glanced at Alastor and spoke up

"Y'know.. you're not as bad as I thought you were."

[official-alastor]

“Well, there goes my reputation,” Alastor said, but he was smirking. Teasing even.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh, ha ha. Way to ruin the nice moment."

[official-alastor]

“It’s called a joke, darling.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I've never heard you call people darling before. Have you always called people that along with dear?"

[official-alastor]

“I can’t say I’ve ever really made a habit of it, no.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"So- so why'd you call me that-"

[official-alastor]

“Seemed fitting. Did you not like it?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"No, no! I did like it."

[official-alastor]

“Well, all right then. Darling.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Now shut up, Bambi. You're gonna ruin my calm mood."

[official-alastor]

“You’ll ruin mine if you keep calling me Bambi.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"The name is cute, and I think it's perfect for you"

[official-alastor]

“I disagree.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"… Can I pet your ears"

[official-alastor]

“…………………fine.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Are you aware of our height difference-?"

[official-alastor]

“Are you aware you have wings?” Alastor smirked, but conjured a chair to take a seat in and put himself more at Lucifer’s level. “Better?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh shut up. And yes, that is better."

Lucifer slowly reached his hand over to Alastor's head, keeping it still before moving his hand towards the others ear

[official-alastor]

Lucifer would find Alastor’s ears soft to the touch, fuzzy and warm. One of them flicked when he made contact with it. But Alastor held still all the while. “Happy now?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, your ears are great"

[official-alastor]

“Of course they are. They’re mine. But thank you, darling.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Now get off your chair so I can sit on it."

[official-alastor]

“You can’t just make your own?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I want yours"

[official-alastor]

“Why?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Because, now get up and let the king sit down."

[official-alastor]

Alastor arched a brow at the diminutive monarch, his trademark smirk in place. “And if I say no, darling?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'll sit on you."

[official-alastor]

“Ha. I think that was your plan all along, my king.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Maybe it was. But if you don't get off of that chair, I will actually sit on you."

[official-alastor]

Alastor said nothing, his trademark smirk in place, sharp teeth on full display…and remained exactly where he was.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer stared at him for a moment, looking annoyed. He then patted Alastor's lap and sat on it

"There we go."

[official-alastor]

The sinner shifted just slightly beneath him to get more comfortable without jostling Lucifer too much. He arched a brow. “Satisfactory?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I mean, I wanted the chair. But I guess this is good enough."

[official-alastor]

“Such flattery.” Alastor rolled his eyes.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uh- at least this is comfortable."

[official-alastor]

Alastor shifted Lucifer on his lap to wind his arms around him from behind. “Is this all right?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, that's fine."

[official-alastor]

“All right then.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Are you uncomfortable-? I can get off if you are."

[official-alastor]

“Surprisingly, not at all, sire. Are you?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uhm- no, I'm not uncomfortable."

[official-alastor]

“Excellent! Well, that’s settled then.” Alastor even gave him a playful little wink.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

The devil slightly tensed up and looked away, tugging at his own shirt

"Yep! Yeah! It is excellent!"

[official-alastor]

The demon resisted the urge to sigh, arching a brow. “Have I done something wrong?” The tension was hard to miss and the king not exactly subtle.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Nope, Everything's fine! I'm fine!"

[official-alastor]

“Are you quite sure?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah! You're just a bit.. close-"

[official-alastor]

“Well, we *are* partners now, are we not? But you can move if you wish of course.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer quickly pulled him closer, trying to maintain eye-contact

"No. It's fine, really."

[official-alastor]

Alastor squeezed his hand gently. “If you say so.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You know.. not saying I would, But I could kiss you right now."

[official-alastor]

“That would make us even closer.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"That's kind of the point"

[official-alastor]

“Do it then,” the demon dared boldly, his trademark smirk forming.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"... What?"

[official-alastor]

“I said…do it then,” Alastor repeated calmly, his smirk still firmly in place.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh- yeah, right.."

He'd grabbed the others' cheeks and quickly pecked his lips

"S- see? All done!"

[official-alastor]

Alastor’s brows rose slowly. “And what if I told you that was my first kiss?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"...Oh– I'm sorry- I shouldn't have just done that, I should've asked first"

[official-alastor]

Alastor leaned in and closed the distance between them, brushing a lingering kiss to the king’s lips. Surprisingly soft and gentle. “It wasn’t.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"That.. kinda felt good-"

[official-alastor]

“Do you want more? Your Majesty?” Alastor grinned mischievously at Lucifer.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I mean– if you're offering, I'd gladly accept."

[official-alastor]

“Then I’m offering.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Well, I accept."

[official-alastor]

“Then what are you waiting for?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh, right-"

He would lean in and kiss Alastor, keeping the kiss going for a few moments before pulling away, quickly clearing his throat

"Was that okay-?"

[official-alastor]

Alastor chuckled as the kiss ended, inclining his head. “It was.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Now we know I'm a better kisser."

[official-alastor]

“Better than what?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Better than you, at kissing and everything else."

[official-alastor]

“No need to be rude, dear.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'm being truthful"

[official-alastor]

“Correction: you’re being insulting. And it’s a relationship. Not a competition.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

".. Now I feel bad."

[official-alastor]

Alastor sighed and gave into the impulse to kiss his cheek. “You’re fine.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I don't get you, one minute you're nice to me, and the next minute I don't know what to think! You either like me or hate me so pick one and stick with it. It's confusing me"

[official-alastor]

“It’s not hate when I point out if you’re insulting or offending me. It’s called communication.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'm not talking about that!"

[official-alastor]

“All right, what are you talking about then? So we’re on the same page so to speak.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Im talking about, like- before we started dating you were an absolute asshole and pointing out my height. You also made a no touch rule and broke it, you're even kissing me. But I feel– lost and confused, you're giving me so many mixed signals."

[official-alastor]

“…I see. I apologize for the confusion then. I’ll…try to do better and be clearer. In my defense, I didn’t expect to like touching or kissing you. That’s never happened before.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You.. like it-?"

[official-alastor]

"Hey, Bambi! Haven't bothered you in a while!"

° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° @shortkingofhell-luci

“You haven’t. And it’s been quite pleasant.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Well, now that I'm here, I suppose I'll fuck you"

[official-alastor]

“….I’m sorry, what???”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'm gonna fuck you-? What's so confusing?"

[official-alastor]

“You most certainly will not!”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I meant fuck WITH you!"

[official-alastor]

“….well, this is just awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Silly me- right?"

"So.. h- how's everything going?"

[official-alastor]

“Exceedingly awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I am so so sorry-"

[official-alastor]

“Are you? Are you really?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah.. definitely."

[official-alastor]

“Hm. …all right, fair enough. Moving on then. To what do I owe the dubious pleasure circumstances of your company, Your Royal Shortness?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Well, I was hoping you'd like to... help me with something?"

[official-alastor]

“You want me to help you… Oh this is rich. Help you with what?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I- uhmm... help me with my wings-?"

[official-alastor]

“Your wings? In what way?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uh- brush them?"

"I don't even know what I'm saying because someone made this awkward!"

[official-alastor]

“That would be you, yes. You made it awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I did no such thing"

[official-alastor]

“Oh, you absolutely did make it awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, anyways. You kind of remind me of someone"

[official-alastor]

“Dare I ask who?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"My next husband"

[official-alastor]

“…..what?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"It's a joke, bambi, chill."

[official-alastor]

“Is it though?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Why are you asking? Do you wanna be my husband?"

[official-alastor]

“Did you just PROPOSE?!”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"No! But.. I could if you want me to"

[official-alastor]

“Hold on! Aren’t you already married?!”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Lilith left me seven years ago"

[official-alastor]

“But aren’t you still technically married?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"At this point, I don't know."

[official-alastor]

“Can you really propose to me then?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yes the fuck i can! If Lilith cared about me she'd be back by now!"

[official-alastor]

“Granted, but are you actually divorced?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uhh, probably?"

[official-alastor]

“I’m going to need a definite yes or no answer. And if the answer is yes, then I’m going to need some form of proof. This is Hell. There’s always a paper trail.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I guess I'm divorced, yes. I have no clue where the papers are though"

[official-alastor]

“Papers. I insist. I play second fiddle to no one.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"But I don't know where they are!"

[official-alastor]

“Then I suggest you start looking.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Why would I bother looking if you're just gonna reject me?"

[official-alastor]

“Am I?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"...Are you going to reject me?"

[official-alastor]

“Yes. Because you don’t just jump right into marriage. Even with a king. You do the courting and getting to know each other things first. Not that I’m an expert, mind you, but even I know diving headfirst into marriage is a bad idea.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh! Right- so then be my boyfriend."

[official-alastor]

“And what would being your boyfriend entail exactly? That word sounds so juvenile…”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Can you just agree already?"

[official-alastor]

“I never enter into an agreement without knowing what I’m getting myself into first.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You're getting into a romantic relationship with the king of hell"

[official-alastor]

“Mhmmm. And aren’t boundaries and limits important? We should know these things from the beginning don’t you think?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I know that- are you going to date me or not?"

[official-alastor]

“Maybe.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I need a valid answer. I don't like this weird feeling you're giving me right now so can you just answer the question with a yes or no?"

[official-alastor]

“Fine. But don’t touch me. I dislike it greatly.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Alright, no touching."

[official-alastor]

“We’ll discuss it more later. Do we have a deal?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, of course! Deal."

[official-alastor]

“All right. Good. …I have no idea what happens next.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Neither do I."

[official-alastor]

“You’re the one who’s been married.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I've never dated a guy before!"

[official-alastor]

“Well, what a coincidence. That makes two of us.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uh- Do you want a kiss?"

[official-alastor]

“I do believe that falls under the ‘no touching’ clause.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You think of something to do then!"

[official-alastor]

“All right, answer me this then: why me? Hell has no shortage of potential partners. So why me? Genuinely curious because I was under the assumption that you couldn’t stand me from day one.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh, trust me, I can't stand you. You're one of the most annoying people I've met and you get under my skin. But- I'd be lying if I said I hated you. Sure, you're not exactly the best. But you've helped Charlie with the hotel, even when I wasn't around. So, why not you? You've already helped Charlie accomplish so much with her dream, even if you're mean about it. But I do respect you for it, and I don't see why I wouldn't want you."

[official-alastor]

“…I wish that I could say I felt flattered by all of that, but I’d be lying if I did. If anything, it seems like you’re settling for me out of obligation perhaps. You don’t hate me, you say, but you don’t even seem to like me either. I may not have been in a relationship before, but even I know this doesn’t sound like the makings of a solid one.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'm not doing this out of anything! I genuinely like you. I don't just go around dating if I don't like the person. Why'd you even agree to date me? You're always mocking me and you seem to get annoyed with me."

[official-alastor]

“… are we having our first fight already? Who am I kidding? It’s us. Of course we’re having our first fight already. I’m not mocking, I promise. I’m just…surprisingly amused in an oddly affectionate sort of way. That’s the surprising part.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh yeah, suree. And ducks can talk, riight."

[official-alastor]

“They can with a bit of magic perhaps, but that’s beside the point. Anyway, back to the matter at hand. You give me your word this isn’t due to some fucked up sense of obligation yes?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Of course it's not some fucked up obligation! Do you really think I'd do that?!"

[official-alastor]

“I would hope that you wouldn’t. I don’t ask as a slight toward you. I ask due to a genuine need for clarity. Nothing more.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You know, I still wanna know why you're dating me."

[official-alastor]

“Seems like we’re both asking the same question.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"… If you didn't have a reason then why do it?"

[official-alastor]

“Because I want to?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"For what reason? You don't seem to like me."

[official-alastor]

“That…isn’t true honestly.” Alastor reached out, extending a hand, breaking his own ‘no touch’ rule by making the offer.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"What- what's this for?"

[official-alastor]

“A show of sincerity,” Alastor replied, hand still extended if Lucifer chose to accept it.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You don't need to break your rule for me. You might get uncomfortable or something, even if you're doing it willingly. I promise you I'm not rejecting your touch, I'm just sticking by the rule you gave me so I don't risk anything."

[official-alastor]

“I don’t mind touching on occasion. Especially if I’m the one instigating. Though…I do very much appreciate the show of respect.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"So, are you still comfortable with me touching you?"

[official-alastor]

“In this instance, I’ll allow it.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer quickly grabbed Alastor's hand, pulling it a little

"I like your hand, I guess-"

[official-alastor]

“You guess?” Alastor asked, but allowed the contact, slender hand warm and tipped with red claws.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I mean- I could hold your hand for hours."

[official-alastor]

“You… could…?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer pulled his hand back and covered his lips, looking back and forth towards Alastor and his hands

"Shit- that was so corny, it just slipped out- I am so sorry-"

[official-alastor]

Alastor smirked, clearly amused. With the same hand Lucifer had been holding, he reached out and lightly tapped the spot where a nose should have been on the devil’s face. “Don’t be.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"That was so stupid, nobody says cheesy stuff anymore-"

[official-alastor]

“I’m not bothered by it.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"This is gonna haunt me forever."

[official-alastor]

Alastor reached over and took Lucifer’s hand again, giving it a light squeeze with those thin fingers. “Lucifer. It’s fine. Really. Don’t fret over it.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer stared at Alastor's hand for a good few moments, staying silent. He then glanced at Alastor and spoke up

"Y'know.. you're not as bad as I thought you were."

[official-alastor]

“Well, there goes my reputation,” Alastor said, but he was smirking. Teasing even.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh, ha ha. Way to ruin the nice moment."

[official-alastor]

“It’s called a joke, darling.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I've never heard you call people darling before. Have you always called people that along with dear?"

[official-alastor]

“I can’t say I’ve ever really made a habit of it, no.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"So- so why'd you call me that-"

[official-alastor]

“Seemed fitting. Did you not like it?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"No, no! I did like it."

[official-alastor]

“Well, all right then. Darling.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Now shut up, Bambi. You're gonna ruin my calm mood."

[official-alastor]

“You’ll ruin mine if you keep calling me Bambi.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"The name is cute, and I think it's perfect for you"

[official-alastor]

“I disagree.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"… Can I pet your ears"

[official-alastor]

“…………………fine.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Are you aware of our height difference-?"

[official-alastor]

“Are you aware you have wings?” Alastor smirked, but conjured a chair to take a seat in and put himself more at Lucifer’s level. “Better?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh shut up. And yes, that is better."

Lucifer slowly reached his hand over to Alastor's head, keeping it still before moving his hand towards the others ear

[official-alastor]

Lucifer would find Alastor’s ears soft to the touch, fuzzy and warm. One of them flicked when he made contact with it. But Alastor held still all the while. “Happy now?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, your ears are great"

[official-alastor]

“Of course they are. They’re mine. But thank you, darling.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Now get off your chair so I can sit on it."

[official-alastor]

“You can’t just make your own?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I want yours"

[official-alastor]

“Why?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Because, now get up and let the king sit down."

[official-alastor]

Alastor arched a brow at the diminutive monarch, his trademark smirk in place. “And if I say no, darling?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'll sit on you."

[official-alastor]

“Ha. I think that was your plan all along, my king.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Maybe it was. But if you don't get off of that chair, I will actually sit on you."

[official-alastor]

Alastor said nothing, his trademark smirk in place, sharp teeth on full display…and remained exactly where he was.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer stared at him for a moment, looking annoyed. He then patted Alastor's lap and sat on it

"There we go."

[official-alastor]

The sinner shifted just slightly beneath him to get more comfortable without jostling Lucifer too much. He arched a brow. “Satisfactory?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I mean, I wanted the chair. But I guess this is good enough."

[official-alastor]

“Such flattery.” Alastor rolled his eyes.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uh- at least this is comfortable."

[official-alastor]

Alastor shifted Lucifer on his lap to wind his arms around him from behind. “Is this all right?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, that's fine."

[official-alastor]

“All right then.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Are you uncomfortable-? I can get off if you are."

[official-alastor]

“Surprisingly, not at all, sire. Are you?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uhm- no, I'm not uncomfortable."

[official-alastor]

“Excellent! Well, that’s settled then.” Alastor even gave him a playful little wink.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

The devil slightly tensed up and looked away, tugging at his own shirt

"Yep! Yeah! It is excellent!"

[official-alastor]

The demon resisted the urge to sigh, arching a brow. “Have I done something wrong?” The tension was hard to miss and the king not exactly subtle.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Nope, Everything's fine! I'm fine!"

[official-alastor]

“Are you quite sure?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah! You're just a bit.. close-"

[official-alastor]

“Well, we *are* partners now, are we not? But you can move if you wish of course.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer quickly pulled him closer, trying to maintain eye-contact

"No. It's fine, really."

[official-alastor]

Alastor squeezed his hand gently. “If you say so.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You know.. not saying I would, But I could kiss you right now."

[official-alastor]

“That would make us even closer.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"That's kind of the point"

[official-alastor]

“Do it then,” the demon dared boldly, his trademark smirk forming.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"... What?"

[official-alastor]

“I said…do it then,” Alastor repeated calmly, his smirk still firmly in place.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh- yeah, right.."

He'd grabbed the others' cheeks and quickly pecked his lips

"S- see? All done!"

[official-alastor]

Alastor’s brows rose slowly. “And what if I told you that was my first kiss?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"...Oh– I'm sorry- I shouldn't have just done that, I should've asked first"

[official-alastor]

Alastor leaned in and closed the distance between them, brushing a lingering kiss to the king’s lips. Surprisingly soft and gentle. “It wasn’t.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"That.. kinda felt good-"

[official-alastor]

“Do you want more? Your Majesty?” Alastor grinned mischievously at Lucifer.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I mean– if you're offering, I'd gladly accept."

[official-alastor]

“Then I’m offering.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Well, I accept."

[official-alastor]

“Then what are you waiting for?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh, right-"

He would lean in and kiss Alastor, keeping the kiss going for a few moments before pulling away, quickly clearing his throat

"Was that okay-?"

[official-alastor]

Alastor chuckled as the kiss ended, inclining his head. “It was.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Now we know I'm a better kisser."

[official-alastor]

“Better than what?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Better than you, at kissing and everything else."

[official-alastor]

“No need to be rude, dear.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'm being truthful"

[official-alastor]

“Correction: you’re being insulting. And it’s a relationship. Not a competition.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

".. Now I feel bad."

[official-alastor]

Alastor sighed and gave into the impulse to kiss his cheek. “You’re fine.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I don't get you, one minute you're nice to me, and the next minute I don't know what to think! You either like me or hate me so pick one and stick with it. It's confusing me"

[official-alastor]

“It’s not hate when I point out if you’re insulting or offending me. It’s called communication.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'm not talking about that!"

[official-alastor]

“All right, what are you talking about then? So we’re on the same page so to speak.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Im talking about, like- before we started dating you were an absolute asshole and pointing out my height. You also made a no touch rule and broke it, you're even kissing me. But I feel– lost and confused, you're giving me so many mixed signals."

[official-alastor]

"Hey, Bambi! Haven't bothered you in a while!"

° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° @shortkingofhell-luci

“You haven’t. And it’s been quite pleasant.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Well, now that I'm here, I suppose I'll fuck you"

[official-alastor]

“….I’m sorry, what???”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'm gonna fuck you-? What's so confusing?"

[official-alastor]

“You most certainly will not!”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I meant fuck WITH you!"

[official-alastor]

“….well, this is just awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Silly me- right?"

"So.. h- how's everything going?"

[official-alastor]

“Exceedingly awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I am so so sorry-"

[official-alastor]

“Are you? Are you really?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah.. definitely."

[official-alastor]

“Hm. …all right, fair enough. Moving on then. To what do I owe the dubious pleasure circumstances of your company, Your Royal Shortness?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Well, I was hoping you'd like to... help me with something?"

[official-alastor]

“You want me to help you… Oh this is rich. Help you with what?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I- uhmm... help me with my wings-?"

[official-alastor]

“Your wings? In what way?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uh- brush them?"

"I don't even know what I'm saying because someone made this awkward!"

[official-alastor]

“That would be you, yes. You made it awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I did no such thing"

[official-alastor]

“Oh, you absolutely did make it awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, anyways. You kind of remind me of someone"

[official-alastor]

“Dare I ask who?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"My next husband"

[official-alastor]

“…..what?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"It's a joke, bambi, chill."

[official-alastor]

“Is it though?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Why are you asking? Do you wanna be my husband?"

[official-alastor]

“Did you just PROPOSE?!”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"No! But.. I could if you want me to"

[official-alastor]

“Hold on! Aren’t you already married?!”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Lilith left me seven years ago"

[official-alastor]

“But aren’t you still technically married?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"At this point, I don't know."

[official-alastor]

“Can you really propose to me then?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yes the fuck i can! If Lilith cared about me she'd be back by now!"

[official-alastor]

“Granted, but are you actually divorced?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uhh, probably?"

[official-alastor]

“I’m going to need a definite yes or no answer. And if the answer is yes, then I’m going to need some form of proof. This is Hell. There’s always a paper trail.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I guess I'm divorced, yes. I have no clue where the papers are though"

[official-alastor]

“Papers. I insist. I play second fiddle to no one.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"But I don't know where they are!"

[official-alastor]

“Then I suggest you start looking.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Why would I bother looking if you're just gonna reject me?"

[official-alastor]

“Am I?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"...Are you going to reject me?"

[official-alastor]

“Yes. Because you don’t just jump right into marriage. Even with a king. You do the courting and getting to know each other things first. Not that I’m an expert, mind you, but even I know diving headfirst into marriage is a bad idea.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh! Right- so then be my boyfriend."

[official-alastor]

“And what would being your boyfriend entail exactly? That word sounds so juvenile…”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Can you just agree already?"

[official-alastor]

“I never enter into an agreement without knowing what I’m getting myself into first.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You're getting into a romantic relationship with the king of hell"

[official-alastor]

“Mhmmm. And aren’t boundaries and limits important? We should know these things from the beginning don’t you think?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I know that- are you going to date me or not?"

[official-alastor]

“Maybe.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I need a valid answer. I don't like this weird feeling you're giving me right now so can you just answer the question with a yes or no?"

[official-alastor]

“Fine. But don’t touch me. I dislike it greatly.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Alright, no touching."

[official-alastor]

“We’ll discuss it more later. Do we have a deal?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, of course! Deal."

[official-alastor]

“All right. Good. …I have no idea what happens next.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Neither do I."

[official-alastor]

“You’re the one who’s been married.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I've never dated a guy before!"

[official-alastor]

“Well, what a coincidence. That makes two of us.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uh- Do you want a kiss?"

[official-alastor]

“I do believe that falls under the ‘no touching’ clause.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You think of something to do then!"

[official-alastor]

“All right, answer me this then: why me? Hell has no shortage of potential partners. So why me? Genuinely curious because I was under the assumption that you couldn’t stand me from day one.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh, trust me, I can't stand you. You're one of the most annoying people I've met and you get under my skin. But- I'd be lying if I said I hated you. Sure, you're not exactly the best. But you've helped Charlie with the hotel, even when I wasn't around. So, why not you? You've already helped Charlie accomplish so much with her dream, even if you're mean about it. But I do respect you for it, and I don't see why I wouldn't want you."

[official-alastor]

“…I wish that I could say I felt flattered by all of that, but I’d be lying if I did. If anything, it seems like you’re settling for me out of obligation perhaps. You don’t hate me, you say, but you don’t even seem to like me either. I may not have been in a relationship before, but even I know this doesn’t sound like the makings of a solid one.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'm not doing this out of anything! I genuinely like you. I don't just go around dating if I don't like the person. Why'd you even agree to date me? You're always mocking me and you seem to get annoyed with me."

[official-alastor]

“… are we having our first fight already? Who am I kidding? It’s us. Of course we’re having our first fight already. I’m not mocking, I promise. I’m just…surprisingly amused in an oddly affectionate sort of way. That’s the surprising part.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh yeah, suree. And ducks can talk, riight."

[official-alastor]

“They can with a bit of magic perhaps, but that’s beside the point. Anyway, back to the matter at hand. You give me your word this isn’t due to some fucked up sense of obligation yes?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Of course it's not some fucked up obligation! Do you really think I'd do that?!"

[official-alastor]

“I would hope that you wouldn’t. I don’t ask as a slight toward you. I ask due to a genuine need for clarity. Nothing more.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You know, I still wanna know why you're dating me."

[official-alastor]

“Seems like we’re both asking the same question.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"… If you didn't have a reason then why do it?"

[official-alastor]

“Because I want to?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"For what reason? You don't seem to like me."

[official-alastor]

“That…isn’t true honestly.” Alastor reached out, extending a hand, breaking his own ‘no touch’ rule by making the offer.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"What- what's this for?"

[official-alastor]

“A show of sincerity,” Alastor replied, hand still extended if Lucifer chose to accept it.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You don't need to break your rule for me. You might get uncomfortable or something, even if you're doing it willingly. I promise you I'm not rejecting your touch, I'm just sticking by the rule you gave me so I don't risk anything."

[official-alastor]

“I don’t mind touching on occasion. Especially if I’m the one instigating. Though…I do very much appreciate the show of respect.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"So, are you still comfortable with me touching you?"

[official-alastor]

“In this instance, I’ll allow it.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer quickly grabbed Alastor's hand, pulling it a little

"I like your hand, I guess-"

[official-alastor]

“You guess?” Alastor asked, but allowed the contact, slender hand warm and tipped with red claws.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I mean- I could hold your hand for hours."

[official-alastor]

“You… could…?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer pulled his hand back and covered his lips, looking back and forth towards Alastor and his hands

"Shit- that was so corny, it just slipped out- I am so sorry-"

[official-alastor]

Alastor smirked, clearly amused. With the same hand Lucifer had been holding, he reached out and lightly tapped the spot where a nose should have been on the devil’s face. “Don’t be.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"That was so stupid, nobody says cheesy stuff anymore-"

[official-alastor]

“I’m not bothered by it.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"This is gonna haunt me forever."

[official-alastor]

Alastor reached over and took Lucifer’s hand again, giving it a light squeeze with those thin fingers. “Lucifer. It’s fine. Really. Don’t fret over it.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer stared at Alastor's hand for a good few moments, staying silent. He then glanced at Alastor and spoke up

"Y'know.. you're not as bad as I thought you were."

[official-alastor]

“Well, there goes my reputation,” Alastor said, but he was smirking. Teasing even.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh, ha ha. Way to ruin the nice moment."

[official-alastor]

“It’s called a joke, darling.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I've never heard you call people darling before. Have you always called people that along with dear?"

[official-alastor]

“I can’t say I’ve ever really made a habit of it, no.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"So- so why'd you call me that-"

[official-alastor]

“Seemed fitting. Did you not like it?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"No, no! I did like it."

[official-alastor]

“Well, all right then. Darling.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Now shut up, Bambi. You're gonna ruin my calm mood."

[official-alastor]

“You’ll ruin mine if you keep calling me Bambi.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"The name is cute, and I think it's perfect for you"

[official-alastor]

“I disagree.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"… Can I pet your ears"

[official-alastor]

“…………………fine.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Are you aware of our height difference-?"

[official-alastor]

“Are you aware you have wings?” Alastor smirked, but conjured a chair to take a seat in and put himself more at Lucifer’s level. “Better?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh shut up. And yes, that is better."

Lucifer slowly reached his hand over to Alastor's head, keeping it still before moving his hand towards the others ear

[official-alastor]

Lucifer would find Alastor’s ears soft to the touch, fuzzy and warm. One of them flicked when he made contact with it. But Alastor held still all the while. “Happy now?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, your ears are great"

[official-alastor]

“Of course they are. They’re mine. But thank you, darling.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Now get off your chair so I can sit on it."

[official-alastor]

“You can’t just make your own?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I want yours"

[official-alastor]

“Why?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Because, now get up and let the king sit down."

[official-alastor]

Alastor arched a brow at the diminutive monarch, his trademark smirk in place. “And if I say no, darling?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'll sit on you."

[official-alastor]

“Ha. I think that was your plan all along, my king.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Maybe it was. But if you don't get off of that chair, I will actually sit on you."

[official-alastor]

Alastor said nothing, his trademark smirk in place, sharp teeth on full display…and remained exactly where he was.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer stared at him for a moment, looking annoyed. He then patted Alastor's lap and sat on it

"There we go."

[official-alastor]

The sinner shifted just slightly beneath him to get more comfortable without jostling Lucifer too much. He arched a brow. “Satisfactory?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I mean, I wanted the chair. But I guess this is good enough."

[official-alastor]

“Such flattery.” Alastor rolled his eyes.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uh- at least this is comfortable."

[official-alastor]

Alastor shifted Lucifer on his lap to wind his arms around him from behind. “Is this all right?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, that's fine."

[official-alastor]

“All right then.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Are you uncomfortable-? I can get off if you are."

[official-alastor]

“Surprisingly, not at all, sire. Are you?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uhm- no, I'm not uncomfortable."

[official-alastor]

“Excellent! Well, that’s settled then.” Alastor even gave him a playful little wink.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

The devil slightly tensed up and looked away, tugging at his own shirt

"Yep! Yeah! It is excellent!"

[official-alastor]

The demon resisted the urge to sigh, arching a brow. “Have I done something wrong?” The tension was hard to miss and the king not exactly subtle.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Nope, Everything's fine! I'm fine!"

[official-alastor]

“Are you quite sure?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah! You're just a bit.. close-"

[official-alastor]

“Well, we *are* partners now, are we not? But you can move if you wish of course.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer quickly pulled him closer, trying to maintain eye-contact

"No. It's fine, really."

[official-alastor]

Alastor squeezed his hand gently. “If you say so.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You know.. not saying I would, But I could kiss you right now."

[official-alastor]

“That would make us even closer.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"That's kind of the point"

[official-alastor]

“Do it then,” the demon dared boldly, his trademark smirk forming.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"... What?"

[official-alastor]

“I said…do it then,” Alastor repeated calmly, his smirk still firmly in place.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh- yeah, right.."

He'd grabbed the others' cheeks and quickly pecked his lips

"S- see? All done!"

[official-alastor]

Alastor’s brows rose slowly. “And what if I told you that was my first kiss?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"...Oh– I'm sorry- I shouldn't have just done that, I should've asked first"

[official-alastor]

Alastor leaned in and closed the distance between them, brushing a lingering kiss to the king’s lips. Surprisingly soft and gentle. “It wasn’t.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"That.. kinda felt good-"

[official-alastor]

“Do you want more? Your Majesty?” Alastor grinned mischievously at Lucifer.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I mean– if you're offering, I'd gladly accept."

[official-alastor]

“Then I’m offering.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Well, I accept."

[official-alastor]

“Then what are you waiting for?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh, right-"

He would lean in and kiss Alastor, keeping the kiss going for a few moments before pulling away, quickly clearing his throat

"Was that okay-?"

[official-alastor]

Alastor chuckled as the kiss ended, inclining his head. “It was.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Now we know I'm a better kisser."

[official-alastor]

“Better than what?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Better than you, at kissing and everything else."

[official-alastor]

“No need to be rude, dear.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'm being truthful"

[official-alastor]

“Correction: you’re being insulting. And it’s a relationship. Not a competition.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

".. Now I feel bad."

[official-alastor]

Alastor sighed and gave into the impulse to kiss his cheek. “You’re fine.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I don't get you, one minute you're nice to me, and the next minute I don't know what to think! You either like me or hate me so pick one and stick with it. It's confusing me"

[official-alastor]

“It’s not hate when I point out if you’re insulting or offending me. It’s called communication.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'm not talking about that!"

[official-alastor]

"Hey, Bambi! Haven't bothered you in a while!"

° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° @shortkingofhell-luci

“You haven’t. And it’s been quite pleasant.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Well, now that I'm here, I suppose I'll fuck you"

[official-alastor]

“….I’m sorry, what???”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'm gonna fuck you-? What's so confusing?"

[official-alastor]

“You most certainly will not!”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I meant fuck WITH you!"

[official-alastor]

“….well, this is just awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Silly me- right?"

"So.. h- how's everything going?"

[official-alastor]

“Exceedingly awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I am so so sorry-"

[official-alastor]

“Are you? Are you really?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah.. definitely."

[official-alastor]

“Hm. …all right, fair enough. Moving on then. To what do I owe the dubious pleasure circumstances of your company, Your Royal Shortness?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Well, I was hoping you'd like to... help me with something?"

[official-alastor]

“You want me to help you… Oh this is rich. Help you with what?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I- uhmm... help me with my wings-?"

[official-alastor]

“Your wings? In what way?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uh- brush them?"

"I don't even know what I'm saying because someone made this awkward!"

[official-alastor]

“That would be you, yes. You made it awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I did no such thing"

[official-alastor]

“Oh, you absolutely did make it awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, anyways. You kind of remind me of someone"

[official-alastor]

“Dare I ask who?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"My next husband"

[official-alastor]

“…..what?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"It's a joke, bambi, chill."

[official-alastor]

“Is it though?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Why are you asking? Do you wanna be my husband?"

[official-alastor]

“Did you just PROPOSE?!”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"No! But.. I could if you want me to"

[official-alastor]

“Hold on! Aren’t you already married?!”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Lilith left me seven years ago"

[official-alastor]

“But aren’t you still technically married?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"At this point, I don't know."

[official-alastor]

“Can you really propose to me then?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yes the fuck i can! If Lilith cared about me she'd be back by now!"

[official-alastor]

“Granted, but are you actually divorced?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uhh, probably?"

[official-alastor]

“I’m going to need a definite yes or no answer. And if the answer is yes, then I’m going to need some form of proof. This is Hell. There’s always a paper trail.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I guess I'm divorced, yes. I have no clue where the papers are though"

[official-alastor]

“Papers. I insist. I play second fiddle to no one.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"But I don't know where they are!"

[official-alastor]

“Then I suggest you start looking.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Why would I bother looking if you're just gonna reject me?"

[official-alastor]

“Am I?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"...Are you going to reject me?"

[official-alastor]

“Yes. Because you don’t just jump right into marriage. Even with a king. You do the courting and getting to know each other things first. Not that I’m an expert, mind you, but even I know diving headfirst into marriage is a bad idea.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh! Right- so then be my boyfriend."

[official-alastor]

“And what would being your boyfriend entail exactly? That word sounds so juvenile…”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Can you just agree already?"

[official-alastor]

“I never enter into an agreement without knowing what I’m getting myself into first.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You're getting into a romantic relationship with the king of hell"

[official-alastor]

“Mhmmm. And aren’t boundaries and limits important? We should know these things from the beginning don’t you think?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I know that- are you going to date me or not?"

[official-alastor]

“Maybe.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I need a valid answer. I don't like this weird feeling you're giving me right now so can you just answer the question with a yes or no?"

[official-alastor]

“Fine. But don’t touch me. I dislike it greatly.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Alright, no touching."

[official-alastor]

“We’ll discuss it more later. Do we have a deal?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, of course! Deal."

[official-alastor]

“All right. Good. …I have no idea what happens next.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Neither do I."

[official-alastor]

“You’re the one who’s been married.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I've never dated a guy before!"

[official-alastor]

“Well, what a coincidence. That makes two of us.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uh- Do you want a kiss?"

[official-alastor]

“I do believe that falls under the ‘no touching’ clause.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You think of something to do then!"

[official-alastor]

“All right, answer me this then: why me? Hell has no shortage of potential partners. So why me? Genuinely curious because I was under the assumption that you couldn’t stand me from day one.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh, trust me, I can't stand you. You're one of the most annoying people I've met and you get under my skin. But- I'd be lying if I said I hated you. Sure, you're not exactly the best. But you've helped Charlie with the hotel, even when I wasn't around. So, why not you? You've already helped Charlie accomplish so much with her dream, even if you're mean about it. But I do respect you for it, and I don't see why I wouldn't want you."

[official-alastor]

“…I wish that I could say I felt flattered by all of that, but I’d be lying if I did. If anything, it seems like you’re settling for me out of obligation perhaps. You don’t hate me, you say, but you don’t even seem to like me either. I may not have been in a relationship before, but even I know this doesn’t sound like the makings of a solid one.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'm not doing this out of anything! I genuinely like you. I don't just go around dating if I don't like the person. Why'd you even agree to date me? You're always mocking me and you seem to get annoyed with me."

[official-alastor]

“… are we having our first fight already? Who am I kidding? It’s us. Of course we’re having our first fight already. I’m not mocking, I promise. I’m just…surprisingly amused in an oddly affectionate sort of way. That’s the surprising part.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh yeah, suree. And ducks can talk, riight."

[official-alastor]

“They can with a bit of magic perhaps, but that’s beside the point. Anyway, back to the matter at hand. You give me your word this isn’t due to some fucked up sense of obligation yes?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Of course it's not some fucked up obligation! Do you really think I'd do that?!"

[official-alastor]

“I would hope that you wouldn’t. I don’t ask as a slight toward you. I ask due to a genuine need for clarity. Nothing more.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You know, I still wanna know why you're dating me."

[official-alastor]

“Seems like we’re both asking the same question.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"… If you didn't have a reason then why do it?"

[official-alastor]

“Because I want to?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"For what reason? You don't seem to like me."

[official-alastor]

“That…isn’t true honestly.” Alastor reached out, extending a hand, breaking his own ‘no touch’ rule by making the offer.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"What- what's this for?"

[official-alastor]

“A show of sincerity,” Alastor replied, hand still extended if Lucifer chose to accept it.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You don't need to break your rule for me. You might get uncomfortable or something, even if you're doing it willingly. I promise you I'm not rejecting your touch, I'm just sticking by the rule you gave me so I don't risk anything."

[official-alastor]

“I don’t mind touching on occasion. Especially if I’m the one instigating. Though…I do very much appreciate the show of respect.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"So, are you still comfortable with me touching you?"

[official-alastor]

“In this instance, I’ll allow it.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer quickly grabbed Alastor's hand, pulling it a little

"I like your hand, I guess-"

[official-alastor]

“You guess?” Alastor asked, but allowed the contact, slender hand warm and tipped with red claws.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I mean- I could hold your hand for hours."

[official-alastor]

“You… could…?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer pulled his hand back and covered his lips, looking back and forth towards Alastor and his hands

"Shit- that was so corny, it just slipped out- I am so sorry-"

[official-alastor]

Alastor smirked, clearly amused. With the same hand Lucifer had been holding, he reached out and lightly tapped the spot where a nose should have been on the devil’s face. “Don’t be.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"That was so stupid, nobody says cheesy stuff anymore-"

[official-alastor]

“I’m not bothered by it.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"This is gonna haunt me forever."

[official-alastor]

Alastor reached over and took Lucifer’s hand again, giving it a light squeeze with those thin fingers. “Lucifer. It’s fine. Really. Don’t fret over it.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer stared at Alastor's hand for a good few moments, staying silent. He then glanced at Alastor and spoke up

"Y'know.. you're not as bad as I thought you were."

[official-alastor]

“Well, there goes my reputation,” Alastor said, but he was smirking. Teasing even.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh, ha ha. Way to ruin the nice moment."

[official-alastor]

“It’s called a joke, darling.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I've never heard you call people darling before. Have you always called people that along with dear?"

[official-alastor]

“I can’t say I’ve ever really made a habit of it, no.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"So- so why'd you call me that-"

[official-alastor]

“Seemed fitting. Did you not like it?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"No, no! I did like it."

[official-alastor]

“Well, all right then. Darling.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Now shut up, Bambi. You're gonna ruin my calm mood."

[official-alastor]

“You’ll ruin mine if you keep calling me Bambi.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"The name is cute, and I think it's perfect for you"

[official-alastor]

“I disagree.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"… Can I pet your ears"

[official-alastor]

“…………………fine.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Are you aware of our height difference-?"

[official-alastor]

“Are you aware you have wings?” Alastor smirked, but conjured a chair to take a seat in and put himself more at Lucifer’s level. “Better?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh shut up. And yes, that is better."

Lucifer slowly reached his hand over to Alastor's head, keeping it still before moving his hand towards the others ear

[official-alastor]

Lucifer would find Alastor’s ears soft to the touch, fuzzy and warm. One of them flicked when he made contact with it. But Alastor held still all the while. “Happy now?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, your ears are great"

[official-alastor]

“Of course they are. They’re mine. But thank you, darling.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Now get off your chair so I can sit on it."

[official-alastor]

“You can’t just make your own?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I want yours"

[official-alastor]

“Why?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Because, now get up and let the king sit down."

[official-alastor]

Alastor arched a brow at the diminutive monarch, his trademark smirk in place. “And if I say no, darling?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'll sit on you."

[official-alastor]

“Ha. I think that was your plan all along, my king.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Maybe it was. But if you don't get off of that chair, I will actually sit on you."

[official-alastor]

Alastor said nothing, his trademark smirk in place, sharp teeth on full display…and remained exactly where he was.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer stared at him for a moment, looking annoyed. He then patted Alastor's lap and sat on it

"There we go."

[official-alastor]

The sinner shifted just slightly beneath him to get more comfortable without jostling Lucifer too much. He arched a brow. “Satisfactory?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I mean, I wanted the chair. But I guess this is good enough."

[official-alastor]

“Such flattery.” Alastor rolled his eyes.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uh- at least this is comfortable."

[official-alastor]

Alastor shifted Lucifer on his lap to wind his arms around him from behind. “Is this all right?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, that's fine."

[official-alastor]

“All right then.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Are you uncomfortable-? I can get off if you are."

[official-alastor]

“Surprisingly, not at all, sire. Are you?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uhm- no, I'm not uncomfortable."

[official-alastor]

“Excellent! Well, that’s settled then.” Alastor even gave him a playful little wink.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

The devil slightly tensed up and looked away, tugging at his own shirt

"Yep! Yeah! It is excellent!"

[official-alastor]

The demon resisted the urge to sigh, arching a brow. “Have I done something wrong?” The tension was hard to miss and the king not exactly subtle.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Nope, Everything's fine! I'm fine!"

[official-alastor]

“Are you quite sure?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah! You're just a bit.. close-"

[official-alastor]

“Well, we *are* partners now, are we not? But you can move if you wish of course.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer quickly pulled him closer, trying to maintain eye-contact

"No. It's fine, really."

[official-alastor]

Alastor squeezed his hand gently. “If you say so.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You know.. not saying I would, But I could kiss you right now."

[official-alastor]

“That would make us even closer.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"That's kind of the point"

[official-alastor]

“Do it then,” the demon dared boldly, his trademark smirk forming.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"... What?"

[official-alastor]

“I said…do it then,” Alastor repeated calmly, his smirk still firmly in place.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh- yeah, right.."

He'd grabbed the others' cheeks and quickly pecked his lips

"S- see? All done!"

[official-alastor]

Alastor’s brows rose slowly. “And what if I told you that was my first kiss?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"...Oh– I'm sorry- I shouldn't have just done that, I should've asked first"

[official-alastor]

Alastor leaned in and closed the distance between them, brushing a lingering kiss to the king’s lips. Surprisingly soft and gentle. “It wasn’t.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"That.. kinda felt good-"

[official-alastor]

“Do you want more? Your Majesty?” Alastor grinned mischievously at Lucifer.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I mean– if you're offering, I'd gladly accept."

[official-alastor]

“Then I’m offering.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Well, I accept."

[official-alastor]

“Then what are you waiting for?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh, right-"

He would lean in and kiss Alastor, keeping the kiss going for a few moments before pulling away, quickly clearing his throat

"Was that okay-?"

[official-alastor]

Alastor chuckled as the kiss ended, inclining his head. “It was.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Now we know I'm a better kisser."

[official-alastor]

“Better than what?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Better than you, at kissing and everything else."

[official-alastor]

“No need to be rude, dear.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'm being truthful"

[official-alastor]

“Correction: you’re being insulting. And it’s a relationship. Not a competition.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

".. Now I feel bad."

[official-alastor]

Alastor sighed and gave into the impulse to kiss his cheek. “You’re fine.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I don't get you, one minute you're nice to me, and the next minute I don't know what to think! You either like me or hate me so pick one and stick with it. It's confusing me"

[official-alastor]

"Hey, Bambi! Haven't bothered you in a while!"

° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° @shortkingofhell-luci

“You haven’t. And it’s been quite pleasant.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Well, now that I'm here, I suppose I'll fuck you"

[official-alastor]

“….I’m sorry, what???”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'm gonna fuck you-? What's so confusing?"

[official-alastor]

“You most certainly will not!”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I meant fuck WITH you!"

[official-alastor]

“….well, this is just awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Silly me- right?"

"So.. h- how's everything going?"

[official-alastor]

“Exceedingly awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I am so so sorry-"

[official-alastor]

“Are you? Are you really?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah.. definitely."

[official-alastor]

“Hm. …all right, fair enough. Moving on then. To what do I owe the dubious pleasure circumstances of your company, Your Royal Shortness?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Well, I was hoping you'd like to... help me with something?"

[official-alastor]

“You want me to help you… Oh this is rich. Help you with what?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I- uhmm... help me with my wings-?"

[official-alastor]

“Your wings? In what way?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uh- brush them?"

"I don't even know what I'm saying because someone made this awkward!"

[official-alastor]

“That would be you, yes. You made it awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I did no such thing"

[official-alastor]

“Oh, you absolutely did make it awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, anyways. You kind of remind me of someone"

[official-alastor]

“Dare I ask who?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"My next husband"

[official-alastor]

“…..what?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"It's a joke, bambi, chill."

[official-alastor]

“Is it though?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Why are you asking? Do you wanna be my husband?"

[official-alastor]

“Did you just PROPOSE?!”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"No! But.. I could if you want me to"

[official-alastor]

“Hold on! Aren’t you already married?!”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Lilith left me seven years ago"

[official-alastor]

“But aren’t you still technically married?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"At this point, I don't know."

[official-alastor]

“Can you really propose to me then?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yes the fuck i can! If Lilith cared about me she'd be back by now!"

[official-alastor]

“Granted, but are you actually divorced?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uhh, probably?"

[official-alastor]

“I’m going to need a definite yes or no answer. And if the answer is yes, then I’m going to need some form of proof. This is Hell. There’s always a paper trail.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I guess I'm divorced, yes. I have no clue where the papers are though"

[official-alastor]

“Papers. I insist. I play second fiddle to no one.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"But I don't know where they are!"

[official-alastor]

“Then I suggest you start looking.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Why would I bother looking if you're just gonna reject me?"

[official-alastor]

“Am I?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"...Are you going to reject me?"

[official-alastor]

“Yes. Because you don’t just jump right into marriage. Even with a king. You do the courting and getting to know each other things first. Not that I’m an expert, mind you, but even I know diving headfirst into marriage is a bad idea.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh! Right- so then be my boyfriend."

[official-alastor]

“And what would being your boyfriend entail exactly? That word sounds so juvenile…”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Can you just agree already?"

[official-alastor]

“I never enter into an agreement without knowing what I’m getting myself into first.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You're getting into a romantic relationship with the king of hell"

[official-alastor]

“Mhmmm. And aren’t boundaries and limits important? We should know these things from the beginning don’t you think?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I know that- are you going to date me or not?"

[official-alastor]

“Maybe.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I need a valid answer. I don't like this weird feeling you're giving me right now so can you just answer the question with a yes or no?"

[official-alastor]

“Fine. But don’t touch me. I dislike it greatly.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Alright, no touching."

[official-alastor]

“We’ll discuss it more later. Do we have a deal?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, of course! Deal."

[official-alastor]

“All right. Good. …I have no idea what happens next.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Neither do I."

[official-alastor]

“You’re the one who’s been married.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I've never dated a guy before!"

[official-alastor]

“Well, what a coincidence. That makes two of us.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uh- Do you want a kiss?"

[official-alastor]

“I do believe that falls under the ‘no touching’ clause.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You think of something to do then!"

[official-alastor]

“All right, answer me this then: why me? Hell has no shortage of potential partners. So why me? Genuinely curious because I was under the assumption that you couldn’t stand me from day one.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh, trust me, I can't stand you. You're one of the most annoying people I've met and you get under my skin. But- I'd be lying if I said I hated you. Sure, you're not exactly the best. But you've helped Charlie with the hotel, even when I wasn't around. So, why not you? You've already helped Charlie accomplish so much with her dream, even if you're mean about it. But I do respect you for it, and I don't see why I wouldn't want you."

[official-alastor]

“…I wish that I could say I felt flattered by all of that, but I’d be lying if I did. If anything, it seems like you’re settling for me out of obligation perhaps. You don’t hate me, you say, but you don’t even seem to like me either. I may not have been in a relationship before, but even I know this doesn’t sound like the makings of a solid one.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'm not doing this out of anything! I genuinely like you. I don't just go around dating if I don't like the person. Why'd you even agree to date me? You're always mocking me and you seem to get annoyed with me."

[official-alastor]

“… are we having our first fight already? Who am I kidding? It’s us. Of course we’re having our first fight already. I’m not mocking, I promise. I’m just…surprisingly amused in an oddly affectionate sort of way. That’s the surprising part.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh yeah, suree. And ducks can talk, riight."

[official-alastor]

“They can with a bit of magic perhaps, but that’s beside the point. Anyway, back to the matter at hand. You give me your word this isn’t due to some fucked up sense of obligation yes?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Of course it's not some fucked up obligation! Do you really think I'd do that?!"

[official-alastor]

“I would hope that you wouldn’t. I don’t ask as a slight toward you. I ask due to a genuine need for clarity. Nothing more.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You know, I still wanna know why you're dating me."

[official-alastor]

“Seems like we’re both asking the same question.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"… If you didn't have a reason then why do it?"

[official-alastor]

“Because I want to?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"For what reason? You don't seem to like me."

[official-alastor]

“That…isn’t true honestly.” Alastor reached out, extending a hand, breaking his own ‘no touch’ rule by making the offer.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"What- what's this for?"

[official-alastor]

“A show of sincerity,” Alastor replied, hand still extended if Lucifer chose to accept it.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You don't need to break your rule for me. You might get uncomfortable or something, even if you're doing it willingly. I promise you I'm not rejecting your touch, I'm just sticking by the rule you gave me so I don't risk anything."

[official-alastor]

“I don’t mind touching on occasion. Especially if I’m the one instigating. Though…I do very much appreciate the show of respect.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"So, are you still comfortable with me touching you?"

[official-alastor]

“In this instance, I’ll allow it.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer quickly grabbed Alastor's hand, pulling it a little

"I like your hand, I guess-"

[official-alastor]

“You guess?” Alastor asked, but allowed the contact, slender hand warm and tipped with red claws.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I mean- I could hold your hand for hours."

[official-alastor]

“You… could…?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer pulled his hand back and covered his lips, looking back and forth towards Alastor and his hands

"Shit- that was so corny, it just slipped out- I am so sorry-"

[official-alastor]

Alastor smirked, clearly amused. With the same hand Lucifer had been holding, he reached out and lightly tapped the spot where a nose should have been on the devil’s face. “Don’t be.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"That was so stupid, nobody says cheesy stuff anymore-"

[official-alastor]

“I’m not bothered by it.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"This is gonna haunt me forever."

[official-alastor]

Alastor reached over and took Lucifer’s hand again, giving it a light squeeze with those thin fingers. “Lucifer. It’s fine. Really. Don’t fret over it.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer stared at Alastor's hand for a good few moments, staying silent. He then glanced at Alastor and spoke up

"Y'know.. you're not as bad as I thought you were."

[official-alastor]

“Well, there goes my reputation,” Alastor said, but he was smirking. Teasing even.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh, ha ha. Way to ruin the nice moment."

[official-alastor]

“It’s called a joke, darling.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I've never heard you call people darling before. Have you always called people that along with dear?"

[official-alastor]

“I can’t say I’ve ever really made a habit of it, no.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"So- so why'd you call me that-"

[official-alastor]

“Seemed fitting. Did you not like it?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"No, no! I did like it."

[official-alastor]

“Well, all right then. Darling.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Now shut up, Bambi. You're gonna ruin my calm mood."

[official-alastor]

“You’ll ruin mine if you keep calling me Bambi.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"The name is cute, and I think it's perfect for you"

[official-alastor]

“I disagree.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"… Can I pet your ears"

[official-alastor]

“…………………fine.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Are you aware of our height difference-?"

[official-alastor]

“Are you aware you have wings?” Alastor smirked, but conjured a chair to take a seat in and put himself more at Lucifer’s level. “Better?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh shut up. And yes, that is better."

Lucifer slowly reached his hand over to Alastor's head, keeping it still before moving his hand towards the others ear

[official-alastor]

Lucifer would find Alastor’s ears soft to the touch, fuzzy and warm. One of them flicked when he made contact with it. But Alastor held still all the while. “Happy now?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, your ears are great"

[official-alastor]

“Of course they are. They’re mine. But thank you, darling.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Now get off your chair so I can sit on it."

[official-alastor]

“You can’t just make your own?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I want yours"

[official-alastor]

“Why?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Because, now get up and let the king sit down."

[official-alastor]

Alastor arched a brow at the diminutive monarch, his trademark smirk in place. “And if I say no, darling?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'll sit on you."

[official-alastor]

“Ha. I think that was your plan all along, my king.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Maybe it was. But if you don't get off of that chair, I will actually sit on you."

[official-alastor]

Alastor said nothing, his trademark smirk in place, sharp teeth on full display…and remained exactly where he was.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer stared at him for a moment, looking annoyed. He then patted Alastor's lap and sat on it

"There we go."

[official-alastor]

The sinner shifted just slightly beneath him to get more comfortable without jostling Lucifer too much. He arched a brow. “Satisfactory?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I mean, I wanted the chair. But I guess this is good enough."

[official-alastor]

“Such flattery.” Alastor rolled his eyes.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uh- at least this is comfortable."

[official-alastor]

Alastor shifted Lucifer on his lap to wind his arms around him from behind. “Is this all right?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, that's fine."

[official-alastor]

“All right then.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Are you uncomfortable-? I can get off if you are."

[official-alastor]

“Surprisingly, not at all, sire. Are you?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uhm- no, I'm not uncomfortable."

[official-alastor]

“Excellent! Well, that’s settled then.” Alastor even gave him a playful little wink.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

The devil slightly tensed up and looked away, tugging at his own shirt

"Yep! Yeah! It is excellent!"

[official-alastor]

The demon resisted the urge to sigh, arching a brow. “Have I done something wrong?” The tension was hard to miss and the king not exactly subtle.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Nope, Everything's fine! I'm fine!"

[official-alastor]

“Are you quite sure?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah! You're just a bit.. close-"

[official-alastor]

“Well, we *are* partners now, are we not? But you can move if you wish of course.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer quickly pulled him closer, trying to maintain eye-contact

"No. It's fine, really."

[official-alastor]

Alastor squeezed his hand gently. “If you say so.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You know.. not saying I would, But I could kiss you right now."

[official-alastor]

“That would make us even closer.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"That's kind of the point"

[official-alastor]

“Do it then,” the demon dared boldly, his trademark smirk forming.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"... What?"

[official-alastor]

“I said…do it then,” Alastor repeated calmly, his smirk still firmly in place.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh- yeah, right.."

He'd grabbed the others' cheeks and quickly pecked his lips

"S- see? All done!"

[official-alastor]

Alastor’s brows rose slowly. “And what if I told you that was my first kiss?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"...Oh– I'm sorry- I shouldn't have just done that, I should've asked first"

[official-alastor]

Alastor leaned in and closed the distance between them, brushing a lingering kiss to the king’s lips. Surprisingly soft and gentle. “It wasn’t.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"That.. kinda felt good-"

[official-alastor]

“Do you want more? Your Majesty?” Alastor grinned mischievously at Lucifer.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I mean– if you're offering, I'd gladly accept."

[official-alastor]

“Then I’m offering.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Well, I accept."

[official-alastor]

“Then what are you waiting for?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh, right-"

He would lean in and kiss Alastor, keeping the kiss going for a few moments before pulling away, quickly clearing his throat

"Was that okay-?"

[official-alastor]

Alastor chuckled as the kiss ended, inclining his head. “It was.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Now we know I'm a better kisser."

[official-alastor]

“Better than what?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Better than you, at kissing and everything else."

[official-alastor]

“No need to be rude, dear.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'm being truthful"

[official-alastor]

“Correction: you’re being insulting. And it’s a relationship. Not a competition.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

".. Now I feel bad."

[official-alastor]

"Hey, Bambi! Haven't bothered you in a while!"

° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° @shortkingofhell-luci

“You haven’t. And it’s been quite pleasant.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Well, now that I'm here, I suppose I'll fuck you"

[official-alastor]

“….I’m sorry, what???”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'm gonna fuck you-? What's so confusing?"

[official-alastor]

“You most certainly will not!”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I meant fuck WITH you!"

[official-alastor]

“….well, this is just awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Silly me- right?"

"So.. h- how's everything going?"

[official-alastor]

“Exceedingly awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I am so so sorry-"

[official-alastor]

“Are you? Are you really?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah.. definitely."

[official-alastor]

“Hm. …all right, fair enough. Moving on then. To what do I owe the dubious pleasure circumstances of your company, Your Royal Shortness?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Well, I was hoping you'd like to... help me with something?"

[official-alastor]

“You want me to help you… Oh this is rich. Help you with what?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I- uhmm... help me with my wings-?"

[official-alastor]

“Your wings? In what way?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uh- brush them?"

"I don't even know what I'm saying because someone made this awkward!"

[official-alastor]

“That would be you, yes. You made it awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I did no such thing"

[official-alastor]

“Oh, you absolutely did make it awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, anyways. You kind of remind me of someone"

[official-alastor]

“Dare I ask who?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"My next husband"

[official-alastor]

“…..what?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"It's a joke, bambi, chill."

[official-alastor]

“Is it though?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Why are you asking? Do you wanna be my husband?"

[official-alastor]

“Did you just PROPOSE?!”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"No! But.. I could if you want me to"

[official-alastor]

“Hold on! Aren’t you already married?!”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Lilith left me seven years ago"

[official-alastor]

“But aren’t you still technically married?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"At this point, I don't know."

[official-alastor]

“Can you really propose to me then?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yes the fuck i can! If Lilith cared about me she'd be back by now!"

[official-alastor]

“Granted, but are you actually divorced?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uhh, probably?"

[official-alastor]

“I’m going to need a definite yes or no answer. And if the answer is yes, then I’m going to need some form of proof. This is Hell. There’s always a paper trail.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I guess I'm divorced, yes. I have no clue where the papers are though"

[official-alastor]

“Papers. I insist. I play second fiddle to no one.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"But I don't know where they are!"

[official-alastor]

“Then I suggest you start looking.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Why would I bother looking if you're just gonna reject me?"

[official-alastor]

“Am I?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"...Are you going to reject me?"

[official-alastor]

“Yes. Because you don’t just jump right into marriage. Even with a king. You do the courting and getting to know each other things first. Not that I’m an expert, mind you, but even I know diving headfirst into marriage is a bad idea.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh! Right- so then be my boyfriend."

[official-alastor]

“And what would being your boyfriend entail exactly? That word sounds so juvenile…”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Can you just agree already?"

[official-alastor]

“I never enter into an agreement without knowing what I’m getting myself into first.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You're getting into a romantic relationship with the king of hell"

[official-alastor]

“Mhmmm. And aren’t boundaries and limits important? We should know these things from the beginning don’t you think?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I know that- are you going to date me or not?"

[official-alastor]

“Maybe.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I need a valid answer. I don't like this weird feeling you're giving me right now so can you just answer the question with a yes or no?"

[official-alastor]

“Fine. But don’t touch me. I dislike it greatly.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Alright, no touching."

[official-alastor]

“We’ll discuss it more later. Do we have a deal?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, of course! Deal."

[official-alastor]

“All right. Good. …I have no idea what happens next.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Neither do I."

[official-alastor]

“You’re the one who’s been married.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I've never dated a guy before!"

[official-alastor]

“Well, what a coincidence. That makes two of us.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uh- Do you want a kiss?"

[official-alastor]

“I do believe that falls under the ‘no touching’ clause.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You think of something to do then!"

[official-alastor]

“All right, answer me this then: why me? Hell has no shortage of potential partners. So why me? Genuinely curious because I was under the assumption that you couldn’t stand me from day one.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh, trust me, I can't stand you. You're one of the most annoying people I've met and you get under my skin. But- I'd be lying if I said I hated you. Sure, you're not exactly the best. But you've helped Charlie with the hotel, even when I wasn't around. So, why not you? You've already helped Charlie accomplish so much with her dream, even if you're mean about it. But I do respect you for it, and I don't see why I wouldn't want you."

[official-alastor]

“…I wish that I could say I felt flattered by all of that, but I’d be lying if I did. If anything, it seems like you’re settling for me out of obligation perhaps. You don’t hate me, you say, but you don’t even seem to like me either. I may not have been in a relationship before, but even I know this doesn’t sound like the makings of a solid one.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'm not doing this out of anything! I genuinely like you. I don't just go around dating if I don't like the person. Why'd you even agree to date me? You're always mocking me and you seem to get annoyed with me."

[official-alastor]

“… are we having our first fight already? Who am I kidding? It’s us. Of course we’re having our first fight already. I’m not mocking, I promise. I’m just…surprisingly amused in an oddly affectionate sort of way. That’s the surprising part.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh yeah, suree. And ducks can talk, riight."

[official-alastor]

“They can with a bit of magic perhaps, but that’s beside the point. Anyway, back to the matter at hand. You give me your word this isn’t due to some fucked up sense of obligation yes?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Of course it's not some fucked up obligation! Do you really think I'd do that?!"

[official-alastor]

“I would hope that you wouldn’t. I don’t ask as a slight toward you. I ask due to a genuine need for clarity. Nothing more.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You know, I still wanna know why you're dating me."

[official-alastor]

“Seems like we’re both asking the same question.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"… If you didn't have a reason then why do it?"

[official-alastor]

“Because I want to?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"For what reason? You don't seem to like me."

[official-alastor]

“That…isn’t true honestly.” Alastor reached out, extending a hand, breaking his own ‘no touch’ rule by making the offer.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"What- what's this for?"

[official-alastor]

“A show of sincerity,” Alastor replied, hand still extended if Lucifer chose to accept it.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You don't need to break your rule for me. You might get uncomfortable or something, even if you're doing it willingly. I promise you I'm not rejecting your touch, I'm just sticking by the rule you gave me so I don't risk anything."

[official-alastor]

“I don’t mind touching on occasion. Especially if I’m the one instigating. Though…I do very much appreciate the show of respect.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"So, are you still comfortable with me touching you?"

[official-alastor]

“In this instance, I’ll allow it.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer quickly grabbed Alastor's hand, pulling it a little

"I like your hand, I guess-"

[official-alastor]

“You guess?” Alastor asked, but allowed the contact, slender hand warm and tipped with red claws.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I mean- I could hold your hand for hours."

[official-alastor]

“You… could…?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer pulled his hand back and covered his lips, looking back and forth towards Alastor and his hands

"Shit- that was so corny, it just slipped out- I am so sorry-"

[official-alastor]

Alastor smirked, clearly amused. With the same hand Lucifer had been holding, he reached out and lightly tapped the spot where a nose should have been on the devil’s face. “Don’t be.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"That was so stupid, nobody says cheesy stuff anymore-"

[official-alastor]

“I’m not bothered by it.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"This is gonna haunt me forever."

[official-alastor]

Alastor reached over and took Lucifer’s hand again, giving it a light squeeze with those thin fingers. “Lucifer. It’s fine. Really. Don’t fret over it.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer stared at Alastor's hand for a good few moments, staying silent. He then glanced at Alastor and spoke up

"Y'know.. you're not as bad as I thought you were."

[official-alastor]

“Well, there goes my reputation,” Alastor said, but he was smirking. Teasing even.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh, ha ha. Way to ruin the nice moment."

[official-alastor]

“It’s called a joke, darling.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I've never heard you call people darling before. Have you always called people that along with dear?"

[official-alastor]

“I can’t say I’ve ever really made a habit of it, no.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"So- so why'd you call me that-"

[official-alastor]

“Seemed fitting. Did you not like it?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"No, no! I did like it."

[official-alastor]

“Well, all right then. Darling.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Now shut up, Bambi. You're gonna ruin my calm mood."

[official-alastor]

“You’ll ruin mine if you keep calling me Bambi.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"The name is cute, and I think it's perfect for you"

[official-alastor]

“I disagree.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"… Can I pet your ears"

[official-alastor]

“…………………fine.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Are you aware of our height difference-?"

[official-alastor]

“Are you aware you have wings?” Alastor smirked, but conjured a chair to take a seat in and put himself more at Lucifer’s level. “Better?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh shut up. And yes, that is better."

Lucifer slowly reached his hand over to Alastor's head, keeping it still before moving his hand towards the others ear

[official-alastor]

Lucifer would find Alastor’s ears soft to the touch, fuzzy and warm. One of them flicked when he made contact with it. But Alastor held still all the while. “Happy now?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, your ears are great"

[official-alastor]

“Of course they are. They’re mine. But thank you, darling.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Now get off your chair so I can sit on it."

[official-alastor]

“You can’t just make your own?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I want yours"

[official-alastor]

“Why?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Because, now get up and let the king sit down."

[official-alastor]

Alastor arched a brow at the diminutive monarch, his trademark smirk in place. “And if I say no, darling?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'll sit on you."

[official-alastor]

“Ha. I think that was your plan all along, my king.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Maybe it was. But if you don't get off of that chair, I will actually sit on you."

[official-alastor]

Alastor said nothing, his trademark smirk in place, sharp teeth on full display…and remained exactly where he was.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer stared at him for a moment, looking annoyed. He then patted Alastor's lap and sat on it

"There we go."

[official-alastor]

The sinner shifted just slightly beneath him to get more comfortable without jostling Lucifer too much. He arched a brow. “Satisfactory?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I mean, I wanted the chair. But I guess this is good enough."

[official-alastor]

“Such flattery.” Alastor rolled his eyes.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uh- at least this is comfortable."

[official-alastor]

Alastor shifted Lucifer on his lap to wind his arms around him from behind. “Is this all right?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, that's fine."

[official-alastor]

“All right then.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Are you uncomfortable-? I can get off if you are."

[official-alastor]

“Surprisingly, not at all, sire. Are you?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uhm- no, I'm not uncomfortable."

[official-alastor]

“Excellent! Well, that’s settled then.” Alastor even gave him a playful little wink.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

The devil slightly tensed up and looked away, tugging at his own shirt

"Yep! Yeah! It is excellent!"

[official-alastor]

The demon resisted the urge to sigh, arching a brow. “Have I done something wrong?” The tension was hard to miss and the king not exactly subtle.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Nope, Everything's fine! I'm fine!"

[official-alastor]

“Are you quite sure?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah! You're just a bit.. close-"

[official-alastor]

“Well, we *are* partners now, are we not? But you can move if you wish of course.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer quickly pulled him closer, trying to maintain eye-contact

"No. It's fine, really."

[official-alastor]

Alastor squeezed his hand gently. “If you say so.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You know.. not saying I would, But I could kiss you right now."

[official-alastor]

“That would make us even closer.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"That's kind of the point"

[official-alastor]

“Do it then,” the demon dared boldly, his trademark smirk forming.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"... What?"

[official-alastor]

“I said…do it then,” Alastor repeated calmly, his smirk still firmly in place.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh- yeah, right.."

He'd grabbed the others' cheeks and quickly pecked his lips

"S- see? All done!"

[official-alastor]

Alastor’s brows rose slowly. “And what if I told you that was my first kiss?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"...Oh– I'm sorry- I shouldn't have just done that, I should've asked first"

[official-alastor]

Alastor leaned in and closed the distance between them, brushing a lingering kiss to the king’s lips. Surprisingly soft and gentle. “It wasn’t.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"That.. kinda felt good-"

[official-alastor]

“Do you want more? Your Majesty?” Alastor grinned mischievously at Lucifer.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I mean– if you're offering, I'd gladly accept."

[official-alastor]

“Then I’m offering.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Well, I accept."

[official-alastor]

“Then what are you waiting for?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh, right-"

He would lean in and kiss Alastor, keeping the kiss going for a few moments before pulling away, quickly clearing his throat

"Was that okay-?"

[official-alastor]

Alastor chuckled as the kiss ended, inclining his head. “It was.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Now we know I'm a better kisser."

[official-alastor]

“Better than what?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Better than you, at kissing and everything else."

[official-alastor]

“No need to be rude, dear.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'm being truthful"

[official-alastor]

"Hey, Bambi! Haven't bothered you in a while!"

° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° @shortkingofhell-luci

“You haven’t. And it’s been quite pleasant.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Well, now that I'm here, I suppose I'll fuck you"

[official-alastor]

“….I’m sorry, what???”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'm gonna fuck you-? What's so confusing?"

[official-alastor]

“You most certainly will not!”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I meant fuck WITH you!"

[official-alastor]

“….well, this is just awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Silly me- right?"

"So.. h- how's everything going?"

[official-alastor]

“Exceedingly awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I am so so sorry-"

[official-alastor]

“Are you? Are you really?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah.. definitely."

[official-alastor]

“Hm. …all right, fair enough. Moving on then. To what do I owe the dubious pleasure circumstances of your company, Your Royal Shortness?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Well, I was hoping you'd like to... help me with something?"

[official-alastor]

“You want me to help you… Oh this is rich. Help you with what?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I- uhmm... help me with my wings-?"

[official-alastor]

“Your wings? In what way?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uh- brush them?"

"I don't even know what I'm saying because someone made this awkward!"

[official-alastor]

“That would be you, yes. You made it awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I did no such thing"

[official-alastor]

“Oh, you absolutely did make it awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, anyways. You kind of remind me of someone"

[official-alastor]

“Dare I ask who?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"My next husband"

[official-alastor]

“…..what?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"It's a joke, bambi, chill."

[official-alastor]

“Is it though?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Why are you asking? Do you wanna be my husband?"

[official-alastor]

“Did you just PROPOSE?!”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"No! But.. I could if you want me to"

[official-alastor]

“Hold on! Aren’t you already married?!”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Lilith left me seven years ago"

[official-alastor]

“But aren’t you still technically married?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"At this point, I don't know."

[official-alastor]

“Can you really propose to me then?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yes the fuck i can! If Lilith cared about me she'd be back by now!"

[official-alastor]

“Granted, but are you actually divorced?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uhh, probably?"

[official-alastor]

“I’m going to need a definite yes or no answer. And if the answer is yes, then I’m going to need some form of proof. This is Hell. There’s always a paper trail.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I guess I'm divorced, yes. I have no clue where the papers are though"

[official-alastor]

“Papers. I insist. I play second fiddle to no one.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"But I don't know where they are!"

[official-alastor]

“Then I suggest you start looking.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Why would I bother looking if you're just gonna reject me?"

[official-alastor]

“Am I?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"...Are you going to reject me?"

[official-alastor]

“Yes. Because you don’t just jump right into marriage. Even with a king. You do the courting and getting to know each other things first. Not that I’m an expert, mind you, but even I know diving headfirst into marriage is a bad idea.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh! Right- so then be my boyfriend."

[official-alastor]

“And what would being your boyfriend entail exactly? That word sounds so juvenile…”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Can you just agree already?"

[official-alastor]

“I never enter into an agreement without knowing what I’m getting myself into first.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You're getting into a romantic relationship with the king of hell"

[official-alastor]

“Mhmmm. And aren’t boundaries and limits important? We should know these things from the beginning don’t you think?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I know that- are you going to date me or not?"

[official-alastor]

“Maybe.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I need a valid answer. I don't like this weird feeling you're giving me right now so can you just answer the question with a yes or no?"

[official-alastor]

“Fine. But don’t touch me. I dislike it greatly.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Alright, no touching."

[official-alastor]

“We’ll discuss it more later. Do we have a deal?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, of course! Deal."

[official-alastor]

“All right. Good. …I have no idea what happens next.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Neither do I."

[official-alastor]

“You’re the one who’s been married.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I've never dated a guy before!"

[official-alastor]

“Well, what a coincidence. That makes two of us.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uh- Do you want a kiss?"

[official-alastor]

“I do believe that falls under the ‘no touching’ clause.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You think of something to do then!"

[official-alastor]

“All right, answer me this then: why me? Hell has no shortage of potential partners. So why me? Genuinely curious because I was under the assumption that you couldn’t stand me from day one.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh, trust me, I can't stand you. You're one of the most annoying people I've met and you get under my skin. But- I'd be lying if I said I hated you. Sure, you're not exactly the best. But you've helped Charlie with the hotel, even when I wasn't around. So, why not you? You've already helped Charlie accomplish so much with her dream, even if you're mean about it. But I do respect you for it, and I don't see why I wouldn't want you."

[official-alastor]

“…I wish that I could say I felt flattered by all of that, but I’d be lying if I did. If anything, it seems like you’re settling for me out of obligation perhaps. You don’t hate me, you say, but you don’t even seem to like me either. I may not have been in a relationship before, but even I know this doesn’t sound like the makings of a solid one.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'm not doing this out of anything! I genuinely like you. I don't just go around dating if I don't like the person. Why'd you even agree to date me? You're always mocking me and you seem to get annoyed with me."

[official-alastor]

“… are we having our first fight already? Who am I kidding? It’s us. Of course we’re having our first fight already. I’m not mocking, I promise. I’m just…surprisingly amused in an oddly affectionate sort of way. That’s the surprising part.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh yeah, suree. And ducks can talk, riight."

[official-alastor]

“They can with a bit of magic perhaps, but that’s beside the point. Anyway, back to the matter at hand. You give me your word this isn’t due to some fucked up sense of obligation yes?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Of course it's not some fucked up obligation! Do you really think I'd do that?!"

[official-alastor]

“I would hope that you wouldn’t. I don’t ask as a slight toward you. I ask due to a genuine need for clarity. Nothing more.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You know, I still wanna know why you're dating me."

[official-alastor]

“Seems like we’re both asking the same question.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"… If you didn't have a reason then why do it?"

[official-alastor]

“Because I want to?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"For what reason? You don't seem to like me."

[official-alastor]

“That…isn’t true honestly.” Alastor reached out, extending a hand, breaking his own ‘no touch’ rule by making the offer.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"What- what's this for?"

[official-alastor]

“A show of sincerity,” Alastor replied, hand still extended if Lucifer chose to accept it.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You don't need to break your rule for me. You might get uncomfortable or something, even if you're doing it willingly. I promise you I'm not rejecting your touch, I'm just sticking by the rule you gave me so I don't risk anything."

[official-alastor]

“I don’t mind touching on occasion. Especially if I’m the one instigating. Though…I do very much appreciate the show of respect.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"So, are you still comfortable with me touching you?"

[official-alastor]

“In this instance, I’ll allow it.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer quickly grabbed Alastor's hand, pulling it a little

"I like your hand, I guess-"

[official-alastor]

“You guess?” Alastor asked, but allowed the contact, slender hand warm and tipped with red claws.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I mean- I could hold your hand for hours."

[official-alastor]

“You… could…?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer pulled his hand back and covered his lips, looking back and forth towards Alastor and his hands

"Shit- that was so corny, it just slipped out- I am so sorry-"

[official-alastor]

Alastor smirked, clearly amused. With the same hand Lucifer had been holding, he reached out and lightly tapped the spot where a nose should have been on the devil’s face. “Don’t be.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"That was so stupid, nobody says cheesy stuff anymore-"

[official-alastor]

“I’m not bothered by it.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"This is gonna haunt me forever."

[official-alastor]

Alastor reached over and took Lucifer’s hand again, giving it a light squeeze with those thin fingers. “Lucifer. It’s fine. Really. Don’t fret over it.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer stared at Alastor's hand for a good few moments, staying silent. He then glanced at Alastor and spoke up

"Y'know.. you're not as bad as I thought you were."

[official-alastor]

“Well, there goes my reputation,” Alastor said, but he was smirking. Teasing even.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh, ha ha. Way to ruin the nice moment."

[official-alastor]

“It’s called a joke, darling.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I've never heard you call people darling before. Have you always called people that along with dear?"

[official-alastor]

“I can’t say I’ve ever really made a habit of it, no.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"So- so why'd you call me that-"

[official-alastor]

“Seemed fitting. Did you not like it?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"No, no! I did like it."

[official-alastor]

“Well, all right then. Darling.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Now shut up, Bambi. You're gonna ruin my calm mood."

[official-alastor]

“You’ll ruin mine if you keep calling me Bambi.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"The name is cute, and I think it's perfect for you"

[official-alastor]

“I disagree.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"… Can I pet your ears"

[official-alastor]

“…………………fine.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Are you aware of our height difference-?"

[official-alastor]

“Are you aware you have wings?” Alastor smirked, but conjured a chair to take a seat in and put himself more at Lucifer’s level. “Better?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh shut up. And yes, that is better."

Lucifer slowly reached his hand over to Alastor's head, keeping it still before moving his hand towards the others ear

[official-alastor]

Lucifer would find Alastor’s ears soft to the touch, fuzzy and warm. One of them flicked when he made contact with it. But Alastor held still all the while. “Happy now?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, your ears are great"

[official-alastor]

“Of course they are. They’re mine. But thank you, darling.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Now get off your chair so I can sit on it."

[official-alastor]

“You can’t just make your own?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I want yours"

[official-alastor]

“Why?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Because, now get up and let the king sit down."

[official-alastor]

Alastor arched a brow at the diminutive monarch, his trademark smirk in place. “And if I say no, darling?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'll sit on you."

[official-alastor]

“Ha. I think that was your plan all along, my king.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Maybe it was. But if you don't get off of that chair, I will actually sit on you."

[official-alastor]

Alastor said nothing, his trademark smirk in place, sharp teeth on full display…and remained exactly where he was.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer stared at him for a moment, looking annoyed. He then patted Alastor's lap and sat on it

"There we go."

[official-alastor]

The sinner shifted just slightly beneath him to get more comfortable without jostling Lucifer too much. He arched a brow. “Satisfactory?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I mean, I wanted the chair. But I guess this is good enough."

[official-alastor]

“Such flattery.” Alastor rolled his eyes.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uh- at least this is comfortable."

[official-alastor]

Alastor shifted Lucifer on his lap to wind his arms around him from behind. “Is this all right?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, that's fine."

[official-alastor]

“All right then.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Are you uncomfortable-? I can get off if you are."

[official-alastor]

“Surprisingly, not at all, sire. Are you?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uhm- no, I'm not uncomfortable."

[official-alastor]

“Excellent! Well, that’s settled then.” Alastor even gave him a playful little wink.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

The devil slightly tensed up and looked away, tugging at his own shirt

"Yep! Yeah! It is excellent!"

[official-alastor]

The demon resisted the urge to sigh, arching a brow. “Have I done something wrong?” The tension was hard to miss and the king not exactly subtle.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Nope, Everything's fine! I'm fine!"

[official-alastor]

“Are you quite sure?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah! You're just a bit.. close-"

[official-alastor]

“Well, we *are* partners now, are we not? But you can move if you wish of course.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer quickly pulled him closer, trying to maintain eye-contact

"No. It's fine, really."

[official-alastor]

Alastor squeezed his hand gently. “If you say so.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You know.. not saying I would, But I could kiss you right now."

[official-alastor]

“That would make us even closer.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"That's kind of the point"

[official-alastor]

“Do it then,” the demon dared boldly, his trademark smirk forming.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"... What?"

[official-alastor]

“I said…do it then,” Alastor repeated calmly, his smirk still firmly in place.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh- yeah, right.."

He'd grabbed the others' cheeks and quickly pecked his lips

"S- see? All done!"

[official-alastor]

Alastor’s brows rose slowly. “And what if I told you that was my first kiss?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"...Oh– I'm sorry- I shouldn't have just done that, I should've asked first"

[official-alastor]

Alastor leaned in and closed the distance between them, brushing a lingering kiss to the king’s lips. Surprisingly soft and gentle. “It wasn’t.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"That.. kinda felt good-"

[official-alastor]

“Do you want more? Your Majesty?” Alastor grinned mischievously at Lucifer.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I mean– if you're offering, I'd gladly accept."

[official-alastor]

“Then I’m offering.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Well, I accept."

[official-alastor]

“Then what are you waiting for?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh, right-"

He would lean in and kiss Alastor, keeping the kiss going for a few moments before pulling away, quickly clearing his throat

"Was that okay-?"

[official-alastor]

Alastor chuckled as the kiss ended, inclining his head. “It was.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Now we know I'm a better kisser."

[official-alastor]

“Better than what?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Better than you, at kissing and everything else."

[official-alastor]

"Hey, Bambi! Haven't bothered you in a while!"

° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° @shortkingofhell-luci

“You haven’t. And it’s been quite pleasant.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Well, now that I'm here, I suppose I'll fuck you"

[official-alastor]

“….I’m sorry, what???”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'm gonna fuck you-? What's so confusing?"

[official-alastor]

“You most certainly will not!”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I meant fuck WITH you!"

[official-alastor]

“….well, this is just awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Silly me- right?"

"So.. h- how's everything going?"

[official-alastor]

“Exceedingly awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I am so so sorry-"

[official-alastor]

“Are you? Are you really?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah.. definitely."

[official-alastor]

“Hm. …all right, fair enough. Moving on then. To what do I owe the dubious pleasure circumstances of your company, Your Royal Shortness?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Well, I was hoping you'd like to... help me with something?"

[official-alastor]

“You want me to help you… Oh this is rich. Help you with what?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I- uhmm... help me with my wings-?"

[official-alastor]

“Your wings? In what way?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uh- brush them?"

"I don't even know what I'm saying because someone made this awkward!"

[official-alastor]

“That would be you, yes. You made it awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I did no such thing"

[official-alastor]

“Oh, you absolutely did make it awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, anyways. You kind of remind me of someone"

[official-alastor]

“Dare I ask who?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"My next husband"

[official-alastor]

“…..what?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"It's a joke, bambi, chill."

[official-alastor]

“Is it though?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Why are you asking? Do you wanna be my husband?"

[official-alastor]

“Did you just PROPOSE?!”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"No! But.. I could if you want me to"

[official-alastor]

“Hold on! Aren’t you already married?!”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Lilith left me seven years ago"

[official-alastor]

“But aren’t you still technically married?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"At this point, I don't know."

[official-alastor]

“Can you really propose to me then?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yes the fuck i can! If Lilith cared about me she'd be back by now!"

[official-alastor]

“Granted, but are you actually divorced?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uhh, probably?"

[official-alastor]

“I’m going to need a definite yes or no answer. And if the answer is yes, then I’m going to need some form of proof. This is Hell. There’s always a paper trail.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I guess I'm divorced, yes. I have no clue where the papers are though"

[official-alastor]

“Papers. I insist. I play second fiddle to no one.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"But I don't know where they are!"

[official-alastor]

“Then I suggest you start looking.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Why would I bother looking if you're just gonna reject me?"

[official-alastor]

“Am I?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"...Are you going to reject me?"

[official-alastor]

“Yes. Because you don’t just jump right into marriage. Even with a king. You do the courting and getting to know each other things first. Not that I’m an expert, mind you, but even I know diving headfirst into marriage is a bad idea.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh! Right- so then be my boyfriend."

[official-alastor]

“And what would being your boyfriend entail exactly? That word sounds so juvenile…”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Can you just agree already?"

[official-alastor]

“I never enter into an agreement without knowing what I’m getting myself into first.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You're getting into a romantic relationship with the king of hell"

[official-alastor]

“Mhmmm. And aren’t boundaries and limits important? We should know these things from the beginning don’t you think?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I know that- are you going to date me or not?"

[official-alastor]

“Maybe.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I need a valid answer. I don't like this weird feeling you're giving me right now so can you just answer the question with a yes or no?"

[official-alastor]

“Fine. But don’t touch me. I dislike it greatly.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Alright, no touching."

[official-alastor]

“We’ll discuss it more later. Do we have a deal?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, of course! Deal."

[official-alastor]

“All right. Good. …I have no idea what happens next.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Neither do I."

[official-alastor]

“You’re the one who’s been married.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I've never dated a guy before!"

[official-alastor]

“Well, what a coincidence. That makes two of us.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uh- Do you want a kiss?"

[official-alastor]

“I do believe that falls under the ‘no touching’ clause.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You think of something to do then!"

[official-alastor]

“All right, answer me this then: why me? Hell has no shortage of potential partners. So why me? Genuinely curious because I was under the assumption that you couldn’t stand me from day one.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh, trust me, I can't stand you. You're one of the most annoying people I've met and you get under my skin. But- I'd be lying if I said I hated you. Sure, you're not exactly the best. But you've helped Charlie with the hotel, even when I wasn't around. So, why not you? You've already helped Charlie accomplish so much with her dream, even if you're mean about it. But I do respect you for it, and I don't see why I wouldn't want you."

[official-alastor]

“…I wish that I could say I felt flattered by all of that, but I’d be lying if I did. If anything, it seems like you’re settling for me out of obligation perhaps. You don’t hate me, you say, but you don’t even seem to like me either. I may not have been in a relationship before, but even I know this doesn’t sound like the makings of a solid one.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'm not doing this out of anything! I genuinely like you. I don't just go around dating if I don't like the person. Why'd you even agree to date me? You're always mocking me and you seem to get annoyed with me."

[official-alastor]

“… are we having our first fight already? Who am I kidding? It’s us. Of course we’re having our first fight already. I’m not mocking, I promise. I’m just…surprisingly amused in an oddly affectionate sort of way. That’s the surprising part.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh yeah, suree. And ducks can talk, riight."

[official-alastor]

“They can with a bit of magic perhaps, but that’s beside the point. Anyway, back to the matter at hand. You give me your word this isn’t due to some fucked up sense of obligation yes?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Of course it's not some fucked up obligation! Do you really think I'd do that?!"

[official-alastor]

“I would hope that you wouldn’t. I don’t ask as a slight toward you. I ask due to a genuine need for clarity. Nothing more.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You know, I still wanna know why you're dating me."

[official-alastor]

“Seems like we’re both asking the same question.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"… If you didn't have a reason then why do it?"

[official-alastor]

“Because I want to?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"For what reason? You don't seem to like me."

[official-alastor]

“That…isn’t true honestly.” Alastor reached out, extending a hand, breaking his own ‘no touch’ rule by making the offer.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"What- what's this for?"

[official-alastor]

“A show of sincerity,” Alastor replied, hand still extended if Lucifer chose to accept it.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You don't need to break your rule for me. You might get uncomfortable or something, even if you're doing it willingly. I promise you I'm not rejecting your touch, I'm just sticking by the rule you gave me so I don't risk anything."

[official-alastor]

“I don’t mind touching on occasion. Especially if I’m the one instigating. Though…I do very much appreciate the show of respect.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"So, are you still comfortable with me touching you?"

[official-alastor]

“In this instance, I’ll allow it.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer quickly grabbed Alastor's hand, pulling it a little

"I like your hand, I guess-"

[official-alastor]

“You guess?” Alastor asked, but allowed the contact, slender hand warm and tipped with red claws.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I mean- I could hold your hand for hours."

[official-alastor]

“You… could…?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer pulled his hand back and covered his lips, looking back and forth towards Alastor and his hands

"Shit- that was so corny, it just slipped out- I am so sorry-"

[official-alastor]

Alastor smirked, clearly amused. With the same hand Lucifer had been holding, he reached out and lightly tapped the spot where a nose should have been on the devil’s face. “Don’t be.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"That was so stupid, nobody says cheesy stuff anymore-"

[official-alastor]

“I’m not bothered by it.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"This is gonna haunt me forever."

[official-alastor]

Alastor reached over and took Lucifer’s hand again, giving it a light squeeze with those thin fingers. “Lucifer. It’s fine. Really. Don’t fret over it.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer stared at Alastor's hand for a good few moments, staying silent. He then glanced at Alastor and spoke up

"Y'know.. you're not as bad as I thought you were."

[official-alastor]

“Well, there goes my reputation,” Alastor said, but he was smirking. Teasing even.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh, ha ha. Way to ruin the nice moment."

[official-alastor]

“It’s called a joke, darling.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I've never heard you call people darling before. Have you always called people that along with dear?"

[official-alastor]

“I can’t say I’ve ever really made a habit of it, no.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"So- so why'd you call me that-"

[official-alastor]

“Seemed fitting. Did you not like it?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"No, no! I did like it."

[official-alastor]

“Well, all right then. Darling.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Now shut up, Bambi. You're gonna ruin my calm mood."

[official-alastor]

“You’ll ruin mine if you keep calling me Bambi.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"The name is cute, and I think it's perfect for you"

[official-alastor]

“I disagree.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"… Can I pet your ears"

[official-alastor]

“…………………fine.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Are you aware of our height difference-?"

[official-alastor]

“Are you aware you have wings?” Alastor smirked, but conjured a chair to take a seat in and put himself more at Lucifer’s level. “Better?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh shut up. And yes, that is better."

Lucifer slowly reached his hand over to Alastor's head, keeping it still before moving his hand towards the others ear

[official-alastor]

Lucifer would find Alastor’s ears soft to the touch, fuzzy and warm. One of them flicked when he made contact with it. But Alastor held still all the while. “Happy now?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, your ears are great"

[official-alastor]

“Of course they are. They’re mine. But thank you, darling.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Now get off your chair so I can sit on it."

[official-alastor]

“You can’t just make your own?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I want yours"

[official-alastor]

“Why?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Because, now get up and let the king sit down."

[official-alastor]

Alastor arched a brow at the diminutive monarch, his trademark smirk in place. “And if I say no, darling?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'll sit on you."

[official-alastor]

“Ha. I think that was your plan all along, my king.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Maybe it was. But if you don't get off of that chair, I will actually sit on you."

[official-alastor]

Alastor said nothing, his trademark smirk in place, sharp teeth on full display…and remained exactly where he was.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer stared at him for a moment, looking annoyed. He then patted Alastor's lap and sat on it

"There we go."

[official-alastor]

The sinner shifted just slightly beneath him to get more comfortable without jostling Lucifer too much. He arched a brow. “Satisfactory?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I mean, I wanted the chair. But I guess this is good enough."

[official-alastor]

“Such flattery.” Alastor rolled his eyes.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uh- at least this is comfortable."

[official-alastor]

Alastor shifted Lucifer on his lap to wind his arms around him from behind. “Is this all right?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, that's fine."

[official-alastor]

“All right then.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Are you uncomfortable-? I can get off if you are."

[official-alastor]

“Surprisingly, not at all, sire. Are you?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uhm- no, I'm not uncomfortable."

[official-alastor]

“Excellent! Well, that’s settled then.” Alastor even gave him a playful little wink.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

The devil slightly tensed up and looked away, tugging at his own shirt

"Yep! Yeah! It is excellent!"

[official-alastor]

The demon resisted the urge to sigh, arching a brow. “Have I done something wrong?” The tension was hard to miss and the king not exactly subtle.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Nope, Everything's fine! I'm fine!"

[official-alastor]

“Are you quite sure?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah! You're just a bit.. close-"

[official-alastor]

“Well, we *are* partners now, are we not? But you can move if you wish of course.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer quickly pulled him closer, trying to maintain eye-contact

"No. It's fine, really."

[official-alastor]

Alastor squeezed his hand gently. “If you say so.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You know.. not saying I would, But I could kiss you right now."

[official-alastor]

“That would make us even closer.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"That's kind of the point"

[official-alastor]

“Do it then,” the demon dared boldly, his trademark smirk forming.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"... What?"

[official-alastor]

“I said…do it then,” Alastor repeated calmly, his smirk still firmly in place.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh- yeah, right.."

He'd grabbed the others' cheeks and quickly pecked his lips

"S- see? All done!"

[official-alastor]

Alastor’s brows rose slowly. “And what if I told you that was my first kiss?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"...Oh– I'm sorry- I shouldn't have just done that, I should've asked first"

[official-alastor]

Alastor leaned in and closed the distance between them, brushing a lingering kiss to the king’s lips. Surprisingly soft and gentle. “It wasn’t.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"That.. kinda felt good-"

[official-alastor]

“Do you want more? Your Majesty?” Alastor grinned mischievously at Lucifer.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I mean– if you're offering, I'd gladly accept."

[official-alastor]

“Then I’m offering.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Well, I accept."

[official-alastor]

“Then what are you waiting for?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh, right-"

He would lean in and kiss Alastor, keeping the kiss going for a few moments before pulling away, quickly clearing his throat

"Was that okay-?"

[official-alastor]

Alastor chuckled as the kiss ended, inclining his head. “It was.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Now we know I'm a better kisser."

[official-alastor]

"Hey, Bambi! Haven't bothered you in a while!"

° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° @shortkingofhell-luci

“You haven’t. And it’s been quite pleasant.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Well, now that I'm here, I suppose I'll fuck you"

[official-alastor]

“….I’m sorry, what???”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'm gonna fuck you-? What's so confusing?"

[official-alastor]

“You most certainly will not!”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I meant fuck WITH you!"

[official-alastor]

“….well, this is just awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Silly me- right?"

"So.. h- how's everything going?"

[official-alastor]

“Exceedingly awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I am so so sorry-"

[official-alastor]

“Are you? Are you really?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah.. definitely."

[official-alastor]

“Hm. …all right, fair enough. Moving on then. To what do I owe the dubious pleasure circumstances of your company, Your Royal Shortness?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Well, I was hoping you'd like to... help me with something?"

[official-alastor]

“You want me to help you… Oh this is rich. Help you with what?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I- uhmm... help me with my wings-?"

[official-alastor]

“Your wings? In what way?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uh- brush them?"

"I don't even know what I'm saying because someone made this awkward!"

[official-alastor]

“That would be you, yes. You made it awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I did no such thing"

[official-alastor]

“Oh, you absolutely did make it awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, anyways. You kind of remind me of someone"

[official-alastor]

“Dare I ask who?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"My next husband"

[official-alastor]

“…..what?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"It's a joke, bambi, chill."

[official-alastor]

“Is it though?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Why are you asking? Do you wanna be my husband?"

[official-alastor]

“Did you just PROPOSE?!”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"No! But.. I could if you want me to"

[official-alastor]

“Hold on! Aren’t you already married?!”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Lilith left me seven years ago"

[official-alastor]

“But aren’t you still technically married?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"At this point, I don't know."

[official-alastor]

“Can you really propose to me then?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yes the fuck i can! If Lilith cared about me she'd be back by now!"

[official-alastor]

“Granted, but are you actually divorced?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uhh, probably?"

[official-alastor]

“I’m going to need a definite yes or no answer. And if the answer is yes, then I’m going to need some form of proof. This is Hell. There’s always a paper trail.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I guess I'm divorced, yes. I have no clue where the papers are though"

[official-alastor]

“Papers. I insist. I play second fiddle to no one.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"But I don't know where they are!"

[official-alastor]

“Then I suggest you start looking.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Why would I bother looking if you're just gonna reject me?"

[official-alastor]

“Am I?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"...Are you going to reject me?"

[official-alastor]

“Yes. Because you don’t just jump right into marriage. Even with a king. You do the courting and getting to know each other things first. Not that I’m an expert, mind you, but even I know diving headfirst into marriage is a bad idea.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh! Right- so then be my boyfriend."

[official-alastor]

“And what would being your boyfriend entail exactly? That word sounds so juvenile…”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Can you just agree already?"

[official-alastor]

“I never enter into an agreement without knowing what I’m getting myself into first.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You're getting into a romantic relationship with the king of hell"

[official-alastor]

“Mhmmm. And aren’t boundaries and limits important? We should know these things from the beginning don’t you think?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I know that- are you going to date me or not?"

[official-alastor]

“Maybe.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I need a valid answer. I don't like this weird feeling you're giving me right now so can you just answer the question with a yes or no?"

[official-alastor]

“Fine. But don’t touch me. I dislike it greatly.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Alright, no touching."

[official-alastor]

“We’ll discuss it more later. Do we have a deal?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, of course! Deal."

[official-alastor]

“All right. Good. …I have no idea what happens next.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Neither do I."

[official-alastor]

“You’re the one who’s been married.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I've never dated a guy before!"

[official-alastor]

“Well, what a coincidence. That makes two of us.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uh- Do you want a kiss?"

[official-alastor]

“I do believe that falls under the ‘no touching’ clause.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You think of something to do then!"

[official-alastor]

“All right, answer me this then: why me? Hell has no shortage of potential partners. So why me? Genuinely curious because I was under the assumption that you couldn’t stand me from day one.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh, trust me, I can't stand you. You're one of the most annoying people I've met and you get under my skin. But- I'd be lying if I said I hated you. Sure, you're not exactly the best. But you've helped Charlie with the hotel, even when I wasn't around. So, why not you? You've already helped Charlie accomplish so much with her dream, even if you're mean about it. But I do respect you for it, and I don't see why I wouldn't want you."

[official-alastor]

“…I wish that I could say I felt flattered by all of that, but I’d be lying if I did. If anything, it seems like you’re settling for me out of obligation perhaps. You don’t hate me, you say, but you don’t even seem to like me either. I may not have been in a relationship before, but even I know this doesn’t sound like the makings of a solid one.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'm not doing this out of anything! I genuinely like you. I don't just go around dating if I don't like the person. Why'd you even agree to date me? You're always mocking me and you seem to get annoyed with me."

[official-alastor]

“… are we having our first fight already? Who am I kidding? It’s us. Of course we’re having our first fight already. I’m not mocking, I promise. I’m just…surprisingly amused in an oddly affectionate sort of way. That’s the surprising part.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh yeah, suree. And ducks can talk, riight."

[official-alastor]

“They can with a bit of magic perhaps, but that’s beside the point. Anyway, back to the matter at hand. You give me your word this isn’t due to some fucked up sense of obligation yes?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Of course it's not some fucked up obligation! Do you really think I'd do that?!"

[official-alastor]

“I would hope that you wouldn’t. I don’t ask as a slight toward you. I ask due to a genuine need for clarity. Nothing more.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You know, I still wanna know why you're dating me."

[official-alastor]

“Seems like we’re both asking the same question.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"… If you didn't have a reason then why do it?"

[official-alastor]

“Because I want to?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"For what reason? You don't seem to like me."

[official-alastor]

“That…isn’t true honestly.” Alastor reached out, extending a hand, breaking his own ‘no touch’ rule by making the offer.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"What- what's this for?"

[official-alastor]

“A show of sincerity,” Alastor replied, hand still extended if Lucifer chose to accept it.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You don't need to break your rule for me. You might get uncomfortable or something, even if you're doing it willingly. I promise you I'm not rejecting your touch, I'm just sticking by the rule you gave me so I don't risk anything."

[official-alastor]

“I don’t mind touching on occasion. Especially if I’m the one instigating. Though…I do very much appreciate the show of respect.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"So, are you still comfortable with me touching you?"

[official-alastor]

“In this instance, I’ll allow it.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer quickly grabbed Alastor's hand, pulling it a little

"I like your hand, I guess-"

[official-alastor]

“You guess?” Alastor asked, but allowed the contact, slender hand warm and tipped with red claws.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I mean- I could hold your hand for hours."

[official-alastor]

“You… could…?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer pulled his hand back and covered his lips, looking back and forth towards Alastor and his hands

"Shit- that was so corny, it just slipped out- I am so sorry-"

[official-alastor]

Alastor smirked, clearly amused. With the same hand Lucifer had been holding, he reached out and lightly tapped the spot where a nose should have been on the devil’s face. “Don’t be.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"That was so stupid, nobody says cheesy stuff anymore-"

[official-alastor]

“I’m not bothered by it.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"This is gonna haunt me forever."

[official-alastor]

Alastor reached over and took Lucifer’s hand again, giving it a light squeeze with those thin fingers. “Lucifer. It’s fine. Really. Don’t fret over it.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer stared at Alastor's hand for a good few moments, staying silent. He then glanced at Alastor and spoke up

"Y'know.. you're not as bad as I thought you were."

[official-alastor]

“Well, there goes my reputation,” Alastor said, but he was smirking. Teasing even.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh, ha ha. Way to ruin the nice moment."

[official-alastor]

“It’s called a joke, darling.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I've never heard you call people darling before. Have you always called people that along with dear?"

[official-alastor]

“I can’t say I’ve ever really made a habit of it, no.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"So- so why'd you call me that-"

[official-alastor]

“Seemed fitting. Did you not like it?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"No, no! I did like it."

[official-alastor]

“Well, all right then. Darling.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Now shut up, Bambi. You're gonna ruin my calm mood."

[official-alastor]

“You’ll ruin mine if you keep calling me Bambi.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"The name is cute, and I think it's perfect for you"

[official-alastor]

“I disagree.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"… Can I pet your ears"

[official-alastor]

“…………………fine.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Are you aware of our height difference-?"

[official-alastor]

“Are you aware you have wings?” Alastor smirked, but conjured a chair to take a seat in and put himself more at Lucifer’s level. “Better?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh shut up. And yes, that is better."

Lucifer slowly reached his hand over to Alastor's head, keeping it still before moving his hand towards the others ear

[official-alastor]

Lucifer would find Alastor’s ears soft to the touch, fuzzy and warm. One of them flicked when he made contact with it. But Alastor held still all the while. “Happy now?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, your ears are great"

[official-alastor]

“Of course they are. They’re mine. But thank you, darling.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Now get off your chair so I can sit on it."

[official-alastor]

“You can’t just make your own?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I want yours"

[official-alastor]

“Why?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Because, now get up and let the king sit down."

[official-alastor]

Alastor arched a brow at the diminutive monarch, his trademark smirk in place. “And if I say no, darling?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'll sit on you."

[official-alastor]

“Ha. I think that was your plan all along, my king.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Maybe it was. But if you don't get off of that chair, I will actually sit on you."

[official-alastor]

Alastor said nothing, his trademark smirk in place, sharp teeth on full display…and remained exactly where he was.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer stared at him for a moment, looking annoyed. He then patted Alastor's lap and sat on it

"There we go."

[official-alastor]

The sinner shifted just slightly beneath him to get more comfortable without jostling Lucifer too much. He arched a brow. “Satisfactory?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I mean, I wanted the chair. But I guess this is good enough."

[official-alastor]

“Such flattery.” Alastor rolled his eyes.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uh- at least this is comfortable."

[official-alastor]

Alastor shifted Lucifer on his lap to wind his arms around him from behind. “Is this all right?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, that's fine."

[official-alastor]

“All right then.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Are you uncomfortable-? I can get off if you are."

[official-alastor]

“Surprisingly, not at all, sire. Are you?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uhm- no, I'm not uncomfortable."

[official-alastor]

“Excellent! Well, that’s settled then.” Alastor even gave him a playful little wink.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

The devil slightly tensed up and looked away, tugging at his own shirt

"Yep! Yeah! It is excellent!"

[official-alastor]

The demon resisted the urge to sigh, arching a brow. “Have I done something wrong?” The tension was hard to miss and the king not exactly subtle.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Nope, Everything's fine! I'm fine!"

[official-alastor]

“Are you quite sure?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah! You're just a bit.. close-"

[official-alastor]

“Well, we *are* partners now, are we not? But you can move if you wish of course.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer quickly pulled him closer, trying to maintain eye-contact

"No. It's fine, really."

[official-alastor]

Alastor squeezed his hand gently. “If you say so.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You know.. not saying I would, But I could kiss you right now."

[official-alastor]

“That would make us even closer.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"That's kind of the point"

[official-alastor]

“Do it then,” the demon dared boldly, his trademark smirk forming.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"... What?"

[official-alastor]

“I said…do it then,” Alastor repeated calmly, his smirk still firmly in place.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh- yeah, right.."

He'd grabbed the others' cheeks and quickly pecked his lips

"S- see? All done!"

[official-alastor]

Alastor’s brows rose slowly. “And what if I told you that was my first kiss?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"...Oh– I'm sorry- I shouldn't have just done that, I should've asked first"

[official-alastor]

Alastor leaned in and closed the distance between them, brushing a lingering kiss to the king’s lips. Surprisingly soft and gentle. “It wasn’t.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"That.. kinda felt good-"

[official-alastor]

“Do you want more? Your Majesty?” Alastor grinned mischievously at Lucifer.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I mean– if you're offering, I'd gladly accept."

[official-alastor]

“Then I’m offering.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Well, I accept."

[official-alastor]

“Then what are you waiting for?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh, right-"

He would lean in and kiss Alastor, keeping the kiss going for a few moments before pulling away, quickly clearing his throat

"Was that okay-?"

[diabloku]

Lucifer: *enters the hotel*

Alastor: I cast vicious mockery 😈

An animation my sis and I made for fun

Music is Perception Check by Tom Cardy.

[official-alastor]

"Hey, Bambi! Haven't bothered you in a while!"

° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° @shortkingofhell-luci

“You haven’t. And it’s been quite pleasant.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Well, now that I'm here, I suppose I'll fuck you"

[official-alastor]

“….I’m sorry, what???”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'm gonna fuck you-? What's so confusing?"

[official-alastor]

“You most certainly will not!”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I meant fuck WITH you!"

[official-alastor]

“….well, this is just awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Silly me- right?"

"So.. h- how's everything going?"

[official-alastor]

“Exceedingly awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I am so so sorry-"

[official-alastor]

“Are you? Are you really?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah.. definitely."

[official-alastor]

“Hm. …all right, fair enough. Moving on then. To what do I owe the dubious pleasure circumstances of your company, Your Royal Shortness?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Well, I was hoping you'd like to... help me with something?"

[official-alastor]

“You want me to help you… Oh this is rich. Help you with what?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I- uhmm... help me with my wings-?"

[official-alastor]

“Your wings? In what way?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uh- brush them?"

"I don't even know what I'm saying because someone made this awkward!"

[official-alastor]

“That would be you, yes. You made it awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I did no such thing"

[official-alastor]

“Oh, you absolutely did make it awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, anyways. You kind of remind me of someone"

[official-alastor]

“Dare I ask who?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"My next husband"

[official-alastor]

“…..what?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"It's a joke, bambi, chill."

[official-alastor]

“Is it though?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Why are you asking? Do you wanna be my husband?"

[official-alastor]

“Did you just PROPOSE?!”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"No! But.. I could if you want me to"

[official-alastor]

“Hold on! Aren’t you already married?!”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Lilith left me seven years ago"

[official-alastor]

“But aren’t you still technically married?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"At this point, I don't know."

[official-alastor]

“Can you really propose to me then?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yes the fuck i can! If Lilith cared about me she'd be back by now!"

[official-alastor]

“Granted, but are you actually divorced?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uhh, probably?"

[official-alastor]

“I’m going to need a definite yes or no answer. And if the answer is yes, then I’m going to need some form of proof. This is Hell. There’s always a paper trail.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I guess I'm divorced, yes. I have no clue where the papers are though"

[official-alastor]

“Papers. I insist. I play second fiddle to no one.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"But I don't know where they are!"

[official-alastor]

“Then I suggest you start looking.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Why would I bother looking if you're just gonna reject me?"

[official-alastor]

“Am I?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"...Are you going to reject me?"

[official-alastor]

“Yes. Because you don’t just jump right into marriage. Even with a king. You do the courting and getting to know each other things first. Not that I’m an expert, mind you, but even I know diving headfirst into marriage is a bad idea.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh! Right- so then be my boyfriend."

[official-alastor]

“And what would being your boyfriend entail exactly? That word sounds so juvenile…”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Can you just agree already?"

[official-alastor]

“I never enter into an agreement without knowing what I’m getting myself into first.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You're getting into a romantic relationship with the king of hell"

[official-alastor]

“Mhmmm. And aren’t boundaries and limits important? We should know these things from the beginning don’t you think?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I know that- are you going to date me or not?"

[official-alastor]

“Maybe.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I need a valid answer. I don't like this weird feeling you're giving me right now so can you just answer the question with a yes or no?"

[official-alastor]

“Fine. But don’t touch me. I dislike it greatly.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Alright, no touching."

[official-alastor]

“We’ll discuss it more later. Do we have a deal?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, of course! Deal."

[official-alastor]

“All right. Good. …I have no idea what happens next.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Neither do I."

[official-alastor]

“You’re the one who’s been married.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I've never dated a guy before!"

[official-alastor]

“Well, what a coincidence. That makes two of us.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uh- Do you want a kiss?"

[official-alastor]

“I do believe that falls under the ‘no touching’ clause.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You think of something to do then!"

[official-alastor]

“All right, answer me this then: why me? Hell has no shortage of potential partners. So why me? Genuinely curious because I was under the assumption that you couldn’t stand me from day one.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh, trust me, I can't stand you. You're one of the most annoying people I've met and you get under my skin. But- I'd be lying if I said I hated you. Sure, you're not exactly the best. But you've helped Charlie with the hotel, even when I wasn't around. So, why not you? You've already helped Charlie accomplish so much with her dream, even if you're mean about it. But I do respect you for it, and I don't see why I wouldn't want you."

[official-alastor]

“…I wish that I could say I felt flattered by all of that, but I’d be lying if I did. If anything, it seems like you’re settling for me out of obligation perhaps. You don’t hate me, you say, but you don’t even seem to like me either. I may not have been in a relationship before, but even I know this doesn’t sound like the makings of a solid one.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'm not doing this out of anything! I genuinely like you. I don't just go around dating if I don't like the person. Why'd you even agree to date me? You're always mocking me and you seem to get annoyed with me."

[official-alastor]

“… are we having our first fight already? Who am I kidding? It’s us. Of course we’re having our first fight already. I’m not mocking, I promise. I’m just…surprisingly amused in an oddly affectionate sort of way. That’s the surprising part.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh yeah, suree. And ducks can talk, riight."

[official-alastor]

“They can with a bit of magic perhaps, but that’s beside the point. Anyway, back to the matter at hand. You give me your word this isn’t due to some fucked up sense of obligation yes?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Of course it's not some fucked up obligation! Do you really think I'd do that?!"

[official-alastor]

“I would hope that you wouldn’t. I don’t ask as a slight toward you. I ask due to a genuine need for clarity. Nothing more.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You know, I still wanna know why you're dating me."

[official-alastor]

“Seems like we’re both asking the same question.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"… If you didn't have a reason then why do it?"

[official-alastor]

“Because I want to?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"For what reason? You don't seem to like me."

[official-alastor]

“That…isn’t true honestly.” Alastor reached out, extending a hand, breaking his own ‘no touch’ rule by making the offer.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"What- what's this for?"

[official-alastor]

“A show of sincerity,” Alastor replied, hand still extended if Lucifer chose to accept it.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You don't need to break your rule for me. You might get uncomfortable or something, even if you're doing it willingly. I promise you I'm not rejecting your touch, I'm just sticking by the rule you gave me so I don't risk anything."

[official-alastor]

“I don’t mind touching on occasion. Especially if I’m the one instigating. Though…I do very much appreciate the show of respect.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"So, are you still comfortable with me touching you?"

[official-alastor]

“In this instance, I’ll allow it.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer quickly grabbed Alastor's hand, pulling it a little

"I like your hand, I guess-"

[official-alastor]

“You guess?” Alastor asked, but allowed the contact, slender hand warm and tipped with red claws.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I mean- I could hold your hand for hours."

[official-alastor]

“You… could…?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer pulled his hand back and covered his lips, looking back and forth towards Alastor and his hands

"Shit- that was so corny, it just slipped out- I am so sorry-"

[official-alastor]

Alastor smirked, clearly amused. With the same hand Lucifer had been holding, he reached out and lightly tapped the spot where a nose should have been on the devil’s face. “Don’t be.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"That was so stupid, nobody says cheesy stuff anymore-"

[official-alastor]

“I’m not bothered by it.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"This is gonna haunt me forever."

[official-alastor]

Alastor reached over and took Lucifer’s hand again, giving it a light squeeze with those thin fingers. “Lucifer. It’s fine. Really. Don’t fret over it.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer stared at Alastor's hand for a good few moments, staying silent. He then glanced at Alastor and spoke up

"Y'know.. you're not as bad as I thought you were."

[official-alastor]

“Well, there goes my reputation,” Alastor said, but he was smirking. Teasing even.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh, ha ha. Way to ruin the nice moment."

[official-alastor]

“It’s called a joke, darling.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I've never heard you call people darling before. Have you always called people that along with dear?"

[official-alastor]

“I can’t say I’ve ever really made a habit of it, no.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"So- so why'd you call me that-"

[official-alastor]

“Seemed fitting. Did you not like it?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"No, no! I did like it."

[official-alastor]

“Well, all right then. Darling.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Now shut up, Bambi. You're gonna ruin my calm mood."

[official-alastor]

“You’ll ruin mine if you keep calling me Bambi.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"The name is cute, and I think it's perfect for you"

[official-alastor]

“I disagree.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"… Can I pet your ears"

[official-alastor]

“…………………fine.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Are you aware of our height difference-?"

[official-alastor]

“Are you aware you have wings?” Alastor smirked, but conjured a chair to take a seat in and put himself more at Lucifer’s level. “Better?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh shut up. And yes, that is better."

Lucifer slowly reached his hand over to Alastor's head, keeping it still before moving his hand towards the others ear

[official-alastor]

Lucifer would find Alastor’s ears soft to the touch, fuzzy and warm. One of them flicked when he made contact with it. But Alastor held still all the while. “Happy now?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, your ears are great"

[official-alastor]

“Of course they are. They’re mine. But thank you, darling.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Now get off your chair so I can sit on it."

[official-alastor]

“You can’t just make your own?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I want yours"

[official-alastor]

“Why?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Because, now get up and let the king sit down."

[official-alastor]

Alastor arched a brow at the diminutive monarch, his trademark smirk in place. “And if I say no, darling?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'll sit on you."

[official-alastor]

“Ha. I think that was your plan all along, my king.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Maybe it was. But if you don't get off of that chair, I will actually sit on you."

[official-alastor]

Alastor said nothing, his trademark smirk in place, sharp teeth on full display…and remained exactly where he was.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer stared at him for a moment, looking annoyed. He then patted Alastor's lap and sat on it

"There we go."

[official-alastor]

The sinner shifted just slightly beneath him to get more comfortable without jostling Lucifer too much. He arched a brow. “Satisfactory?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I mean, I wanted the chair. But I guess this is good enough."

[official-alastor]

“Such flattery.” Alastor rolled his eyes.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uh- at least this is comfortable."

[official-alastor]

Alastor shifted Lucifer on his lap to wind his arms around him from behind. “Is this all right?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, that's fine."

[official-alastor]

“All right then.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Are you uncomfortable-? I can get off if you are."

[official-alastor]

“Surprisingly, not at all, sire. Are you?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uhm- no, I'm not uncomfortable."

[official-alastor]

“Excellent! Well, that’s settled then.” Alastor even gave him a playful little wink.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

The devil slightly tensed up and looked away, tugging at his own shirt

"Yep! Yeah! It is excellent!"

[official-alastor]

The demon resisted the urge to sigh, arching a brow. “Have I done something wrong?” The tension was hard to miss and the king not exactly subtle.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Nope, Everything's fine! I'm fine!"

[official-alastor]

“Are you quite sure?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah! You're just a bit.. close-"

[official-alastor]

“Well, we *are* partners now, are we not? But you can move if you wish of course.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer quickly pulled him closer, trying to maintain eye-contact

"No. It's fine, really."

[official-alastor]

Alastor squeezed his hand gently. “If you say so.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You know.. not saying I would, But I could kiss you right now."

[official-alastor]

“That would make us even closer.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"That's kind of the point"

[official-alastor]

“Do it then,” the demon dared boldly, his trademark smirk forming.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"... What?"

[official-alastor]

“I said…do it then,” Alastor repeated calmly, his smirk still firmly in place.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh- yeah, right.."

He'd grabbed the others' cheeks and quickly pecked his lips

"S- see? All done!"

[official-alastor]

Alastor’s brows rose slowly. “And what if I told you that was my first kiss?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"...Oh– I'm sorry- I shouldn't have just done that, I should've asked first"

[official-alastor]

Alastor leaned in and closed the distance between them, brushing a lingering kiss to the king’s lips. Surprisingly soft and gentle. “It wasn’t.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"That.. kinda felt good-"

[official-alastor]

“Do you want more? Your Majesty?” Alastor grinned mischievously at Lucifer.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I mean– if you're offering, I'd gladly accept."

[official-alastor]

“Then I’m offering.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Well, I accept."

[official-alastor]

"Hey, Bambi! Haven't bothered you in a while!"

° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° @shortkingofhell-luci

“You haven’t. And it’s been quite pleasant.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Well, now that I'm here, I suppose I'll fuck you"

[official-alastor]

“….I’m sorry, what???”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'm gonna fuck you-? What's so confusing?"

[official-alastor]

“You most certainly will not!”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I meant fuck WITH you!"

[official-alastor]

“….well, this is just awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Silly me- right?"

"So.. h- how's everything going?"

[official-alastor]

“Exceedingly awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I am so so sorry-"

[official-alastor]

“Are you? Are you really?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah.. definitely."

[official-alastor]

“Hm. …all right, fair enough. Moving on then. To what do I owe the dubious pleasure circumstances of your company, Your Royal Shortness?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Well, I was hoping you'd like to... help me with something?"

[official-alastor]

“You want me to help you… Oh this is rich. Help you with what?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I- uhmm... help me with my wings-?"

[official-alastor]

“Your wings? In what way?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uh- brush them?"

"I don't even know what I'm saying because someone made this awkward!"

[official-alastor]

“That would be you, yes. You made it awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I did no such thing"

[official-alastor]

“Oh, you absolutely did make it awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, anyways. You kind of remind me of someone"

[official-alastor]

“Dare I ask who?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"My next husband"

[official-alastor]

“…..what?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"It's a joke, bambi, chill."

[official-alastor]

“Is it though?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Why are you asking? Do you wanna be my husband?"

[official-alastor]

“Did you just PROPOSE?!”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"No! But.. I could if you want me to"

[official-alastor]

“Hold on! Aren’t you already married?!”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Lilith left me seven years ago"

[official-alastor]

“But aren’t you still technically married?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"At this point, I don't know."

[official-alastor]

“Can you really propose to me then?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yes the fuck i can! If Lilith cared about me she'd be back by now!"

[official-alastor]

“Granted, but are you actually divorced?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uhh, probably?"

[official-alastor]

“I’m going to need a definite yes or no answer. And if the answer is yes, then I’m going to need some form of proof. This is Hell. There’s always a paper trail.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I guess I'm divorced, yes. I have no clue where the papers are though"

[official-alastor]

“Papers. I insist. I play second fiddle to no one.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"But I don't know where they are!"

[official-alastor]

“Then I suggest you start looking.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Why would I bother looking if you're just gonna reject me?"

[official-alastor]

“Am I?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"...Are you going to reject me?"

[official-alastor]

“Yes. Because you don’t just jump right into marriage. Even with a king. You do the courting and getting to know each other things first. Not that I’m an expert, mind you, but even I know diving headfirst into marriage is a bad idea.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh! Right- so then be my boyfriend."

[official-alastor]

“And what would being your boyfriend entail exactly? That word sounds so juvenile…”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Can you just agree already?"

[official-alastor]

“I never enter into an agreement without knowing what I’m getting myself into first.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You're getting into a romantic relationship with the king of hell"

[official-alastor]

“Mhmmm. And aren’t boundaries and limits important? We should know these things from the beginning don’t you think?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I know that- are you going to date me or not?"

[official-alastor]

“Maybe.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I need a valid answer. I don't like this weird feeling you're giving me right now so can you just answer the question with a yes or no?"

[official-alastor]

“Fine. But don’t touch me. I dislike it greatly.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Alright, no touching."

[official-alastor]

“We’ll discuss it more later. Do we have a deal?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, of course! Deal."

[official-alastor]

“All right. Good. …I have no idea what happens next.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Neither do I."

[official-alastor]

“You’re the one who’s been married.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I've never dated a guy before!"

[official-alastor]

“Well, what a coincidence. That makes two of us.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uh- Do you want a kiss?"

[official-alastor]

“I do believe that falls under the ‘no touching’ clause.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You think of something to do then!"

[official-alastor]

“All right, answer me this then: why me? Hell has no shortage of potential partners. So why me? Genuinely curious because I was under the assumption that you couldn’t stand me from day one.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh, trust me, I can't stand you. You're one of the most annoying people I've met and you get under my skin. But- I'd be lying if I said I hated you. Sure, you're not exactly the best. But you've helped Charlie with the hotel, even when I wasn't around. So, why not you? You've already helped Charlie accomplish so much with her dream, even if you're mean about it. But I do respect you for it, and I don't see why I wouldn't want you."

[official-alastor]

“…I wish that I could say I felt flattered by all of that, but I’d be lying if I did. If anything, it seems like you’re settling for me out of obligation perhaps. You don’t hate me, you say, but you don’t even seem to like me either. I may not have been in a relationship before, but even I know this doesn’t sound like the makings of a solid one.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'm not doing this out of anything! I genuinely like you. I don't just go around dating if I don't like the person. Why'd you even agree to date me? You're always mocking me and you seem to get annoyed with me."

[official-alastor]

“… are we having our first fight already? Who am I kidding? It’s us. Of course we’re having our first fight already. I’m not mocking, I promise. I’m just…surprisingly amused in an oddly affectionate sort of way. That’s the surprising part.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh yeah, suree. And ducks can talk, riight."

[official-alastor]

“They can with a bit of magic perhaps, but that’s beside the point. Anyway, back to the matter at hand. You give me your word this isn’t due to some fucked up sense of obligation yes?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Of course it's not some fucked up obligation! Do you really think I'd do that?!"

[official-alastor]

“I would hope that you wouldn’t. I don’t ask as a slight toward you. I ask due to a genuine need for clarity. Nothing more.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You know, I still wanna know why you're dating me."

[official-alastor]

“Seems like we’re both asking the same question.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"… If you didn't have a reason then why do it?"

[official-alastor]

“Because I want to?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"For what reason? You don't seem to like me."

[official-alastor]

“That…isn’t true honestly.” Alastor reached out, extending a hand, breaking his own ‘no touch’ rule by making the offer.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"What- what's this for?"

[official-alastor]

“A show of sincerity,” Alastor replied, hand still extended if Lucifer chose to accept it.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You don't need to break your rule for me. You might get uncomfortable or something, even if you're doing it willingly. I promise you I'm not rejecting your touch, I'm just sticking by the rule you gave me so I don't risk anything."

[official-alastor]

“I don’t mind touching on occasion. Especially if I’m the one instigating. Though…I do very much appreciate the show of respect.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"So, are you still comfortable with me touching you?"

[official-alastor]

“In this instance, I’ll allow it.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer quickly grabbed Alastor's hand, pulling it a little

"I like your hand, I guess-"

[official-alastor]

“You guess?” Alastor asked, but allowed the contact, slender hand warm and tipped with red claws.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I mean- I could hold your hand for hours."

[official-alastor]

“You… could…?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer pulled his hand back and covered his lips, looking back and forth towards Alastor and his hands

"Shit- that was so corny, it just slipped out- I am so sorry-"

[official-alastor]

Alastor smirked, clearly amused. With the same hand Lucifer had been holding, he reached out and lightly tapped the spot where a nose should have been on the devil’s face. “Don’t be.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"That was so stupid, nobody says cheesy stuff anymore-"

[official-alastor]

“I’m not bothered by it.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"This is gonna haunt me forever."

[official-alastor]

Alastor reached over and took Lucifer’s hand again, giving it a light squeeze with those thin fingers. “Lucifer. It’s fine. Really. Don’t fret over it.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer stared at Alastor's hand for a good few moments, staying silent. He then glanced at Alastor and spoke up

"Y'know.. you're not as bad as I thought you were."

[official-alastor]

“Well, there goes my reputation,” Alastor said, but he was smirking. Teasing even.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh, ha ha. Way to ruin the nice moment."

[official-alastor]

“It’s called a joke, darling.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I've never heard you call people darling before. Have you always called people that along with dear?"

[official-alastor]

“I can’t say I’ve ever really made a habit of it, no.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"So- so why'd you call me that-"

[official-alastor]

“Seemed fitting. Did you not like it?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"No, no! I did like it."

[official-alastor]

“Well, all right then. Darling.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Now shut up, Bambi. You're gonna ruin my calm mood."

[official-alastor]

“You’ll ruin mine if you keep calling me Bambi.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"The name is cute, and I think it's perfect for you"

[official-alastor]

“I disagree.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"… Can I pet your ears"

[official-alastor]

“…………………fine.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Are you aware of our height difference-?"

[official-alastor]

“Are you aware you have wings?” Alastor smirked, but conjured a chair to take a seat in and put himself more at Lucifer’s level. “Better?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh shut up. And yes, that is better."

Lucifer slowly reached his hand over to Alastor's head, keeping it still before moving his hand towards the others ear

[official-alastor]

Lucifer would find Alastor’s ears soft to the touch, fuzzy and warm. One of them flicked when he made contact with it. But Alastor held still all the while. “Happy now?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, your ears are great"

[official-alastor]

“Of course they are. They’re mine. But thank you, darling.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Now get off your chair so I can sit on it."

[official-alastor]

“You can’t just make your own?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I want yours"

[official-alastor]

“Why?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Because, now get up and let the king sit down."

[official-alastor]

Alastor arched a brow at the diminutive monarch, his trademark smirk in place. “And if I say no, darling?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'll sit on you."

[official-alastor]

“Ha. I think that was your plan all along, my king.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Maybe it was. But if you don't get off of that chair, I will actually sit on you."

[official-alastor]

Alastor said nothing, his trademark smirk in place, sharp teeth on full display…and remained exactly where he was.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer stared at him for a moment, looking annoyed. He then patted Alastor's lap and sat on it

"There we go."

[official-alastor]

The sinner shifted just slightly beneath him to get more comfortable without jostling Lucifer too much. He arched a brow. “Satisfactory?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I mean, I wanted the chair. But I guess this is good enough."

[official-alastor]

“Such flattery.” Alastor rolled his eyes.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uh- at least this is comfortable."

[official-alastor]

Alastor shifted Lucifer on his lap to wind his arms around him from behind. “Is this all right?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, that's fine."

[official-alastor]

“All right then.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Are you uncomfortable-? I can get off if you are."

[official-alastor]

“Surprisingly, not at all, sire. Are you?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uhm- no, I'm not uncomfortable."

[official-alastor]

“Excellent! Well, that’s settled then.” Alastor even gave him a playful little wink.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

The devil slightly tensed up and looked away, tugging at his own shirt

"Yep! Yeah! It is excellent!"

[official-alastor]

The demon resisted the urge to sigh, arching a brow. “Have I done something wrong?” The tension was hard to miss and the king not exactly subtle.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Nope, Everything's fine! I'm fine!"

[official-alastor]

“Are you quite sure?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah! You're just a bit.. close-"

[official-alastor]

“Well, we *are* partners now, are we not? But you can move if you wish of course.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer quickly pulled him closer, trying to maintain eye-contact

"No. It's fine, really."

[official-alastor]

Alastor squeezed his hand gently. “If you say so.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You know.. not saying I would, But I could kiss you right now."

[official-alastor]

“That would make us even closer.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"That's kind of the point"

[official-alastor]

“Do it then,” the demon dared boldly, his trademark smirk forming.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"... What?"

[official-alastor]

“I said…do it then,” Alastor repeated calmly, his smirk still firmly in place.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh- yeah, right.."

He'd grabbed the others' cheeks and quickly pecked his lips

"S- see? All done!"

[official-alastor]

Alastor’s brows rose slowly. “And what if I told you that was my first kiss?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"...Oh– I'm sorry- I shouldn't have just done that, I should've asked first"

[official-alastor]

Alastor leaned in and closed the distance between them, brushing a lingering kiss to the king’s lips. Surprisingly soft and gentle. “It wasn’t.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"That.. kinda felt good-"

[official-alastor]

“Do you want more? Your Majesty?” Alastor grinned mischievously at Lucifer.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I mean– if you're offering, I'd gladly accept."

[official-alastor]

"Hey, Bambi! Haven't bothered you in a while!"

° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° @shortkingofhell-luci

“You haven’t. And it’s been quite pleasant.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Well, now that I'm here, I suppose I'll fuck you"

[official-alastor]

“….I’m sorry, what???”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'm gonna fuck you-? What's so confusing?"

[official-alastor]

“You most certainly will not!”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I meant fuck WITH you!"

[official-alastor]

“….well, this is just awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Silly me- right?"

"So.. h- how's everything going?"

[official-alastor]

“Exceedingly awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I am so so sorry-"

[official-alastor]

“Are you? Are you really?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah.. definitely."

[official-alastor]

“Hm. …all right, fair enough. Moving on then. To what do I owe the dubious pleasure circumstances of your company, Your Royal Shortness?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Well, I was hoping you'd like to... help me with something?"

[official-alastor]

“You want me to help you… Oh this is rich. Help you with what?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I- uhmm... help me with my wings-?"

[official-alastor]

“Your wings? In what way?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uh- brush them?"

"I don't even know what I'm saying because someone made this awkward!"

[official-alastor]

“That would be you, yes. You made it awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I did no such thing"

[official-alastor]

“Oh, you absolutely did make it awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, anyways. You kind of remind me of someone"

[official-alastor]

“Dare I ask who?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"My next husband"

[official-alastor]

“…..what?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"It's a joke, bambi, chill."

[official-alastor]

“Is it though?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Why are you asking? Do you wanna be my husband?"

[official-alastor]

“Did you just PROPOSE?!”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"No! But.. I could if you want me to"

[official-alastor]

“Hold on! Aren’t you already married?!”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Lilith left me seven years ago"

[official-alastor]

“But aren’t you still technically married?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"At this point, I don't know."

[official-alastor]

“Can you really propose to me then?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yes the fuck i can! If Lilith cared about me she'd be back by now!"

[official-alastor]

“Granted, but are you actually divorced?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uhh, probably?"

[official-alastor]

“I’m going to need a definite yes or no answer. And if the answer is yes, then I’m going to need some form of proof. This is Hell. There’s always a paper trail.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I guess I'm divorced, yes. I have no clue where the papers are though"

[official-alastor]

“Papers. I insist. I play second fiddle to no one.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"But I don't know where they are!"

[official-alastor]

“Then I suggest you start looking.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Why would I bother looking if you're just gonna reject me?"

[official-alastor]

“Am I?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"...Are you going to reject me?"

[official-alastor]

“Yes. Because you don’t just jump right into marriage. Even with a king. You do the courting and getting to know each other things first. Not that I’m an expert, mind you, but even I know diving headfirst into marriage is a bad idea.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh! Right- so then be my boyfriend."

[official-alastor]

“And what would being your boyfriend entail exactly? That word sounds so juvenile…”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Can you just agree already?"

[official-alastor]

“I never enter into an agreement without knowing what I’m getting myself into first.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You're getting into a romantic relationship with the king of hell"

[official-alastor]

“Mhmmm. And aren’t boundaries and limits important? We should know these things from the beginning don’t you think?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I know that- are you going to date me or not?"

[official-alastor]

“Maybe.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I need a valid answer. I don't like this weird feeling you're giving me right now so can you just answer the question with a yes or no?"

[official-alastor]

“Fine. But don’t touch me. I dislike it greatly.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Alright, no touching."

[official-alastor]

“We’ll discuss it more later. Do we have a deal?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, of course! Deal."

[official-alastor]

“All right. Good. …I have no idea what happens next.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Neither do I."

[official-alastor]

“You’re the one who’s been married.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I've never dated a guy before!"

[official-alastor]

“Well, what a coincidence. That makes two of us.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uh- Do you want a kiss?"

[official-alastor]

“I do believe that falls under the ‘no touching’ clause.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You think of something to do then!"

[official-alastor]

“All right, answer me this then: why me? Hell has no shortage of potential partners. So why me? Genuinely curious because I was under the assumption that you couldn’t stand me from day one.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh, trust me, I can't stand you. You're one of the most annoying people I've met and you get under my skin. But- I'd be lying if I said I hated you. Sure, you're not exactly the best. But you've helped Charlie with the hotel, even when I wasn't around. So, why not you? You've already helped Charlie accomplish so much with her dream, even if you're mean about it. But I do respect you for it, and I don't see why I wouldn't want you."

[official-alastor]

“…I wish that I could say I felt flattered by all of that, but I’d be lying if I did. If anything, it seems like you’re settling for me out of obligation perhaps. You don’t hate me, you say, but you don’t even seem to like me either. I may not have been in a relationship before, but even I know this doesn’t sound like the makings of a solid one.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'm not doing this out of anything! I genuinely like you. I don't just go around dating if I don't like the person. Why'd you even agree to date me? You're always mocking me and you seem to get annoyed with me."

[official-alastor]

“… are we having our first fight already? Who am I kidding? It’s us. Of course we’re having our first fight already. I’m not mocking, I promise. I’m just…surprisingly amused in an oddly affectionate sort of way. That’s the surprising part.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh yeah, suree. And ducks can talk, riight."

[official-alastor]

“They can with a bit of magic perhaps, but that’s beside the point. Anyway, back to the matter at hand. You give me your word this isn’t due to some fucked up sense of obligation yes?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Of course it's not some fucked up obligation! Do you really think I'd do that?!"

[official-alastor]

“I would hope that you wouldn’t. I don’t ask as a slight toward you. I ask due to a genuine need for clarity. Nothing more.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You know, I still wanna know why you're dating me."

[official-alastor]

“Seems like we’re both asking the same question.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"… If you didn't have a reason then why do it?"

[official-alastor]

“Because I want to?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"For what reason? You don't seem to like me."

[official-alastor]

“That…isn’t true honestly.” Alastor reached out, extending a hand, breaking his own ‘no touch’ rule by making the offer.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"What- what's this for?"

[official-alastor]

“A show of sincerity,” Alastor replied, hand still extended if Lucifer chose to accept it.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You don't need to break your rule for me. You might get uncomfortable or something, even if you're doing it willingly. I promise you I'm not rejecting your touch, I'm just sticking by the rule you gave me so I don't risk anything."

[official-alastor]

“I don’t mind touching on occasion. Especially if I’m the one instigating. Though…I do very much appreciate the show of respect.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"So, are you still comfortable with me touching you?"

[official-alastor]

“In this instance, I’ll allow it.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer quickly grabbed Alastor's hand, pulling it a little

"I like your hand, I guess-"

[official-alastor]

“You guess?” Alastor asked, but allowed the contact, slender hand warm and tipped with red claws.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I mean- I could hold your hand for hours."

[official-alastor]

“You… could…?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer pulled his hand back and covered his lips, looking back and forth towards Alastor and his hands

"Shit- that was so corny, it just slipped out- I am so sorry-"

[official-alastor]

Alastor smirked, clearly amused. With the same hand Lucifer had been holding, he reached out and lightly tapped the spot where a nose should have been on the devil’s face. “Don’t be.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"That was so stupid, nobody says cheesy stuff anymore-"

[official-alastor]

“I’m not bothered by it.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"This is gonna haunt me forever."

[official-alastor]

Alastor reached over and took Lucifer’s hand again, giving it a light squeeze with those thin fingers. “Lucifer. It’s fine. Really. Don’t fret over it.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer stared at Alastor's hand for a good few moments, staying silent. He then glanced at Alastor and spoke up

"Y'know.. you're not as bad as I thought you were."

[official-alastor]

“Well, there goes my reputation,” Alastor said, but he was smirking. Teasing even.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh, ha ha. Way to ruin the nice moment."

[official-alastor]

“It’s called a joke, darling.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I've never heard you call people darling before. Have you always called people that along with dear?"

[official-alastor]

“I can’t say I’ve ever really made a habit of it, no.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"So- so why'd you call me that-"

[official-alastor]

“Seemed fitting. Did you not like it?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"No, no! I did like it."

[official-alastor]

“Well, all right then. Darling.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Now shut up, Bambi. You're gonna ruin my calm mood."

[official-alastor]

“You’ll ruin mine if you keep calling me Bambi.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"The name is cute, and I think it's perfect for you"

[official-alastor]

“I disagree.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"… Can I pet your ears"

[official-alastor]

“…………………fine.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Are you aware of our height difference-?"

[official-alastor]

“Are you aware you have wings?” Alastor smirked, but conjured a chair to take a seat in and put himself more at Lucifer’s level. “Better?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh shut up. And yes, that is better."

Lucifer slowly reached his hand over to Alastor's head, keeping it still before moving his hand towards the others ear

[official-alastor]

Lucifer would find Alastor’s ears soft to the touch, fuzzy and warm. One of them flicked when he made contact with it. But Alastor held still all the while. “Happy now?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, your ears are great"

[official-alastor]

“Of course they are. They’re mine. But thank you, darling.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Now get off your chair so I can sit on it."

[official-alastor]

“You can’t just make your own?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I want yours"

[official-alastor]

“Why?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Because, now get up and let the king sit down."

[official-alastor]

Alastor arched a brow at the diminutive monarch, his trademark smirk in place. “And if I say no, darling?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'll sit on you."

[official-alastor]

“Ha. I think that was your plan all along, my king.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Maybe it was. But if you don't get off of that chair, I will actually sit on you."

[official-alastor]

Alastor said nothing, his trademark smirk in place, sharp teeth on full display…and remained exactly where he was.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer stared at him for a moment, looking annoyed. He then patted Alastor's lap and sat on it

"There we go."

[official-alastor]

The sinner shifted just slightly beneath him to get more comfortable without jostling Lucifer too much. He arched a brow. “Satisfactory?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I mean, I wanted the chair. But I guess this is good enough."

[official-alastor]

“Such flattery.” Alastor rolled his eyes.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uh- at least this is comfortable."

[official-alastor]

Alastor shifted Lucifer on his lap to wind his arms around him from behind. “Is this all right?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, that's fine."

[official-alastor]

“All right then.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Are you uncomfortable-? I can get off if you are."

[official-alastor]

“Surprisingly, not at all, sire. Are you?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uhm- no, I'm not uncomfortable."

[official-alastor]

“Excellent! Well, that’s settled then.” Alastor even gave him a playful little wink.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

The devil slightly tensed up and looked away, tugging at his own shirt

"Yep! Yeah! It is excellent!"

[official-alastor]

The demon resisted the urge to sigh, arching a brow. “Have I done something wrong?” The tension was hard to miss and the king not exactly subtle.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Nope, Everything's fine! I'm fine!"

[official-alastor]

“Are you quite sure?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah! You're just a bit.. close-"

[official-alastor]

“Well, we *are* partners now, are we not? But you can move if you wish of course.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer quickly pulled him closer, trying to maintain eye-contact

"No. It's fine, really."

[official-alastor]

Alastor squeezed his hand gently. “If you say so.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You know.. not saying I would, But I could kiss you right now."

[official-alastor]

“That would make us even closer.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"That's kind of the point"

[official-alastor]

“Do it then,” the demon dared boldly, his trademark smirk forming.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"... What?"

[official-alastor]

“I said…do it then,” Alastor repeated calmly, his smirk still firmly in place.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh- yeah, right.."

He'd grabbed the others' cheeks and quickly pecked his lips

"S- see? All done!"

[official-alastor]

Alastor’s brows rose slowly. “And what if I told you that was my first kiss?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"...Oh– I'm sorry- I shouldn't have just done that, I should've asked first"

[official-alastor]

Alastor leaned in and closed the distance between them, brushing a lingering kiss to the king’s lips. Surprisingly soft and gentle. “It wasn’t.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"That.. kinda felt good-"

[shortkingofhell-luci]

HELLO EVERYONE! Just here to say my discord is patheticduxk :)

[official-alastor]

"Hey, Bambi! Haven't bothered you in a while!"

° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° @shortkingofhell-luci

“You haven’t. And it’s been quite pleasant.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Well, now that I'm here, I suppose I'll fuck you"

[official-alastor]

“….I’m sorry, what???”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'm gonna fuck you-? What's so confusing?"

[official-alastor]

“You most certainly will not!”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I meant fuck WITH you!"

[official-alastor]

“….well, this is just awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Silly me- right?"

"So.. h- how's everything going?"

[official-alastor]

“Exceedingly awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I am so so sorry-"

[official-alastor]

“Are you? Are you really?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah.. definitely."

[official-alastor]

“Hm. …all right, fair enough. Moving on then. To what do I owe the dubious pleasure circumstances of your company, Your Royal Shortness?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Well, I was hoping you'd like to... help me with something?"

[official-alastor]

“You want me to help you… Oh this is rich. Help you with what?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I- uhmm... help me with my wings-?"

[official-alastor]

“Your wings? In what way?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uh- brush them?"

"I don't even know what I'm saying because someone made this awkward!"

[official-alastor]

“That would be you, yes. You made it awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I did no such thing"

[official-alastor]

“Oh, you absolutely did make it awkward.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, anyways. You kind of remind me of someone"

[official-alastor]

“Dare I ask who?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"My next husband"

[official-alastor]

“…..what?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"It's a joke, bambi, chill."

[official-alastor]

“Is it though?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Why are you asking? Do you wanna be my husband?"

[official-alastor]

“Did you just PROPOSE?!”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"No! But.. I could if you want me to"

[official-alastor]

“Hold on! Aren’t you already married?!”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Lilith left me seven years ago"

[official-alastor]

“But aren’t you still technically married?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"At this point, I don't know."

[official-alastor]

“Can you really propose to me then?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yes the fuck i can! If Lilith cared about me she'd be back by now!"

[official-alastor]

“Granted, but are you actually divorced?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uhh, probably?"

[official-alastor]

“I’m going to need a definite yes or no answer. And if the answer is yes, then I’m going to need some form of proof. This is Hell. There’s always a paper trail.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I guess I'm divorced, yes. I have no clue where the papers are though"

[official-alastor]

“Papers. I insist. I play second fiddle to no one.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"But I don't know where they are!"

[official-alastor]

“Then I suggest you start looking.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Why would I bother looking if you're just gonna reject me?"

[official-alastor]

“Am I?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"...Are you going to reject me?"

[official-alastor]

“Yes. Because you don’t just jump right into marriage. Even with a king. You do the courting and getting to know each other things first. Not that I’m an expert, mind you, but even I know diving headfirst into marriage is a bad idea.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh! Right- so then be my boyfriend."

[official-alastor]

“And what would being your boyfriend entail exactly? That word sounds so juvenile…”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Can you just agree already?"

[official-alastor]

“I never enter into an agreement without knowing what I’m getting myself into first.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You're getting into a romantic relationship with the king of hell"

[official-alastor]

“Mhmmm. And aren’t boundaries and limits important? We should know these things from the beginning don’t you think?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I know that- are you going to date me or not?"

[official-alastor]

“Maybe.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I need a valid answer. I don't like this weird feeling you're giving me right now so can you just answer the question with a yes or no?"

[official-alastor]

“Fine. But don’t touch me. I dislike it greatly.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Alright, no touching."

[official-alastor]

“We’ll discuss it more later. Do we have a deal?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, of course! Deal."

[official-alastor]

“All right. Good. …I have no idea what happens next.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Neither do I."

[official-alastor]

“You’re the one who’s been married.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I've never dated a guy before!"

[official-alastor]

“Well, what a coincidence. That makes two of us.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uh- Do you want a kiss?"

[official-alastor]

“I do believe that falls under the ‘no touching’ clause.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You think of something to do then!"

[official-alastor]

“All right, answer me this then: why me? Hell has no shortage of potential partners. So why me? Genuinely curious because I was under the assumption that you couldn’t stand me from day one.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh, trust me, I can't stand you. You're one of the most annoying people I've met and you get under my skin. But- I'd be lying if I said I hated you. Sure, you're not exactly the best. But you've helped Charlie with the hotel, even when I wasn't around. So, why not you? You've already helped Charlie accomplish so much with her dream, even if you're mean about it. But I do respect you for it, and I don't see why I wouldn't want you."

[official-alastor]

“…I wish that I could say I felt flattered by all of that, but I’d be lying if I did. If anything, it seems like you’re settling for me out of obligation perhaps. You don’t hate me, you say, but you don’t even seem to like me either. I may not have been in a relationship before, but even I know this doesn’t sound like the makings of a solid one.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'm not doing this out of anything! I genuinely like you. I don't just go around dating if I don't like the person. Why'd you even agree to date me? You're always mocking me and you seem to get annoyed with me."

[official-alastor]

“… are we having our first fight already? Who am I kidding? It’s us. Of course we’re having our first fight already. I’m not mocking, I promise. I’m just…surprisingly amused in an oddly affectionate sort of way. That’s the surprising part.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh yeah, suree. And ducks can talk, riight."

[official-alastor]

“They can with a bit of magic perhaps, but that’s beside the point. Anyway, back to the matter at hand. You give me your word this isn’t due to some fucked up sense of obligation yes?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Of course it's not some fucked up obligation! Do you really think I'd do that?!"

[official-alastor]

“I would hope that you wouldn’t. I don’t ask as a slight toward you. I ask due to a genuine need for clarity. Nothing more.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You know, I still wanna know why you're dating me."

[official-alastor]

“Seems like we’re both asking the same question.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"… If you didn't have a reason then why do it?"

[official-alastor]

“Because I want to?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"For what reason? You don't seem to like me."

[official-alastor]

“That…isn’t true honestly.” Alastor reached out, extending a hand, breaking his own ‘no touch’ rule by making the offer.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"What- what's this for?"

[official-alastor]

“A show of sincerity,” Alastor replied, hand still extended if Lucifer chose to accept it.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You don't need to break your rule for me. You might get uncomfortable or something, even if you're doing it willingly. I promise you I'm not rejecting your touch, I'm just sticking by the rule you gave me so I don't risk anything."

[official-alastor]

“I don’t mind touching on occasion. Especially if I’m the one instigating. Though…I do very much appreciate the show of respect.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"So, are you still comfortable with me touching you?"

[official-alastor]

“In this instance, I’ll allow it.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer quickly grabbed Alastor's hand, pulling it a little

"I like your hand, I guess-"

[official-alastor]

“You guess?” Alastor asked, but allowed the contact, slender hand warm and tipped with red claws.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I mean- I could hold your hand for hours."

[official-alastor]

“You… could…?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer pulled his hand back and covered his lips, looking back and forth towards Alastor and his hands

"Shit- that was so corny, it just slipped out- I am so sorry-"

[official-alastor]

Alastor smirked, clearly amused. With the same hand Lucifer had been holding, he reached out and lightly tapped the spot where a nose should have been on the devil’s face. “Don’t be.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"That was so stupid, nobody says cheesy stuff anymore-"

[official-alastor]

“I’m not bothered by it.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"This is gonna haunt me forever."

[official-alastor]

Alastor reached over and took Lucifer’s hand again, giving it a light squeeze with those thin fingers. “Lucifer. It’s fine. Really. Don’t fret over it.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer stared at Alastor's hand for a good few moments, staying silent. He then glanced at Alastor and spoke up

"Y'know.. you're not as bad as I thought you were."

[official-alastor]

“Well, there goes my reputation,” Alastor said, but he was smirking. Teasing even.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh, ha ha. Way to ruin the nice moment."

[official-alastor]

“It’s called a joke, darling.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I've never heard you call people darling before. Have you always called people that along with dear?"

[official-alastor]

“I can’t say I’ve ever really made a habit of it, no.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"So- so why'd you call me that-"

[official-alastor]

“Seemed fitting. Did you not like it?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"No, no! I did like it."

[official-alastor]

“Well, all right then. Darling.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Now shut up, Bambi. You're gonna ruin my calm mood."

[official-alastor]

“You’ll ruin mine if you keep calling me Bambi.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"The name is cute, and I think it's perfect for you"

[official-alastor]

“I disagree.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"… Can I pet your ears"

[official-alastor]

“…………………fine.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Are you aware of our height difference-?"

[official-alastor]

“Are you aware you have wings?” Alastor smirked, but conjured a chair to take a seat in and put himself more at Lucifer’s level. “Better?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh shut up. And yes, that is better."

Lucifer slowly reached his hand over to Alastor's head, keeping it still before moving his hand towards the others ear

[official-alastor]

Lucifer would find Alastor’s ears soft to the touch, fuzzy and warm. One of them flicked when he made contact with it. But Alastor held still all the while. “Happy now?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, your ears are great"

[official-alastor]

“Of course they are. They’re mine. But thank you, darling.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Now get off your chair so I can sit on it."

[official-alastor]

“You can’t just make your own?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I want yours"

[official-alastor]

“Why?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Because, now get up and let the king sit down."

[official-alastor]

Alastor arched a brow at the diminutive monarch, his trademark smirk in place. “And if I say no, darling?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I'll sit on you."

[official-alastor]

“Ha. I think that was your plan all along, my king.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Maybe it was. But if you don't get off of that chair, I will actually sit on you."

[official-alastor]

Alastor said nothing, his trademark smirk in place, sharp teeth on full display…and remained exactly where he was.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer stared at him for a moment, looking annoyed. He then patted Alastor's lap and sat on it

"There we go."

[official-alastor]

The sinner shifted just slightly beneath him to get more comfortable without jostling Lucifer too much. He arched a brow. “Satisfactory?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"I mean, I wanted the chair. But I guess this is good enough."

[official-alastor]

“Such flattery.” Alastor rolled his eyes.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uh- at least this is comfortable."

[official-alastor]

Alastor shifted Lucifer on his lap to wind his arms around him from behind. “Is this all right?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah, that's fine."

[official-alastor]

“All right then.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Are you uncomfortable-? I can get off if you are."

[official-alastor]

“Surprisingly, not at all, sire. Are you?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Uhm- no, I'm not uncomfortable."

[official-alastor]

“Excellent! Well, that’s settled then.” Alastor even gave him a playful little wink.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

The devil slightly tensed up and looked away, tugging at his own shirt

"Yep! Yeah! It is excellent!"

[official-alastor]

The demon resisted the urge to sigh, arching a brow. “Have I done something wrong?” The tension was hard to miss and the king not exactly subtle.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Nope, Everything's fine! I'm fine!"

[official-alastor]

“Are you quite sure?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Yeah! You're just a bit.. close-"

[official-alastor]

“Well, we *are* partners now, are we not? But you can move if you wish of course.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

Lucifer quickly pulled him closer, trying to maintain eye-contact

"No. It's fine, really."

[official-alastor]

Alastor squeezed his hand gently. “If you say so.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"You know.. not saying I would, But I could kiss you right now."

[official-alastor]

“That would make us even closer.”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"That's kind of the point"

[official-alastor]

“Do it then,” the demon dared boldly, his trademark smirk forming.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"... What?"

[official-alastor]

“I said…do it then,” Alastor repeated calmly, his smirk still firmly in place.

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"Oh- yeah, right.."

He'd grabbed the others' cheeks and quickly pecked his lips

"S- see? All done!"

[official-alastor]

Alastor’s brows rose slowly. “And what if I told you that was my first kiss?”

[shortkingofhell-luci]

"...Oh– I'm sorry- I shouldn't have just done that, I should've asked first"