how can i write realistic romantic-relationship growth??
Iâll be focusing more on a healthy romantic relationship, for if I try to cover the aspects that make up an unhealthy romantic relationship, this response will triple in length. And⊠just a warning that romance is the one topic I avoid writing about simply because I donât understand it on a personal level. But here it goes.
My first advice is to build your characters separately. People in relationships grow independently and collectively. Show that. Your character can grow and change without their partnerâs influence just as much as your character can grow and change due to their partnerâs influence. Agreements, disagreements, similarities, differences. Theyâre never going to be static, for they too will change. After that, write their relationship like any relationship between people. What do you think makes a relationship realistic and believable? There should be a voluntary consensus between the people involved, even if itâs not explicitly said. This doesnât mean that a relationship should be perfectâreally, from bantering about whoâs cooking tonight to full-blown ignoring each other for a week, moments of disagreements and tension can be used to improve any relationship if used correctly (meaning theyâre not solely for the sake of drama). And as much as many shows and books would like to say otherwise, most people in a close relationship share more similarities than differences. Generally, we are attracted to people who are, to a certain degree, similar to us; we prefer times when our partner would support us than oppose us. Thus, while differences are great and stimulating, donât forget that your characters should have similarities that can help strengthen (or even start) their relationship. So what interests or hobbies do they share? In what ways do their views clash? What makes the characters attracted (mentally, physically, etc) to each other? What repulse the characters about each other? How do they settle their differences or make peace after an argument? Are they stubborn or are they flexible when it comes to their beliefs? Continue on. Build on their character separately and then connect them together.
Once you have the core aspects of their relationship, add the romantic traits into it. What is romantic to you? Most importantly, what is romantic according to the characters involved? Romance in general is interpreted differently in many cultures and upbringings, so itâs important to focus on what your characters deem as romantic. As long as romance delivers, as long as romance is believable, for the characters involved, then your readers will pick up on that. Settle that and add them sparingly throughout the charactersâ romantic relationship. Maybe one is a daydreamer with high standards when it comes to romance. You can write that as them going through a lot of relationships, all of which are ended by them. How about if one is not the touchy type unless theyâre comfortable with their company? You can have them slowly closing the distance between them and their potential partner(s) after each successful date. The romantic scenes really depend on the characters and how they cope with such feelings. Donât bother with what your readers would think as romanticâfocus on the story and the characters.
In terms of writing, you can approach this matter in so many ways. You can focus on your characters, focus on the plot, focus specifically on romance. Write in the way that would be best for your story. Is it best to use first person point of view to form that close, singular bond between character and reader? Is present tense or past tense best in terms of moving your story? What tone should you use to deliver the entirety of the story you want to write? Focusing more on character interaction, use their traits and moods. You donât have to explicitly say when the characters are becoming romantically attracted to each other. Have your readers work a bit. Lay down clues that they can follow for their own conclusions until you canonically address the relationship. Show instead tell. Instead of telling your reader that the characters sit close to each other, you can show this distance close in a matter of different meetings. Have the characters sit far apart in their first date. Afterwards, have the distance lessen through the use of one character reaching out to the other, having one character observe the otherâs breathing or blush, or their feet accidentally kicking one another. Use clichĂ©s sparingly (better yet, reconstruct them). Instead, try to be more creative. Instead of writing them holding hands, maybe you can write about how their heads are bowed to be closer to each other. Instead of focusing on their lips when they kiss, mention how their toes curled. The possibilities are endless here.
For references and resources, study books, shows, plays, and music with a romantic plot or subplot. People in your life can also be a big help. Find out what works, what doesnât work for you, and understand why. Why does one romantic relationship work for you and the other doesnât? Do not focus on physical appearance, gender, sexuality, and the like. Instead, focus on the dynamics, the tension, the build-up, the setting, the characters themselves. At this point, itâs better to be objective than subjective. At this point, this isnât about what you think is romantic or not. At this point, what matters is to understand how a romantic scene was executed well. Look at the characters. Did the relationship build up gradually or was it an instant attraction? How are they feeling? What are they thinking? What are their intentions? Inspect their dialogue. Is their tone lighthearted? Serious? What are they talking about? Is it straightforward or is there a hidden message behind it? Examine their postures. How close are they? How and when do they move? Are there any subtle movements in their hands, eyes, and breathing patterns? Next pan out to their surroundings. What time is it? Where are they? How did they get there? Is there anyone else with them? What is the overall atmosphere? Afterwards, look at the medium itself. If itâs something you can watch, like movies, pay attention to where the camera zooms in and out. If itâs something you can read, like novels, look what point of view, tense, and syntax are used. Typically, authors use fragmented sentences or short sentences to grab the readerâs attentionâspot them out and figure out why the author wants these particular sentences to stand out. Pick at the diction used. Why was that one word used over other words? A word can really set the tone of the scene. For example, using âfleshâ instead of âskinâ would be off-putting in a romantic scene due to the formerâs usual use in writing. Really, in short, make use of the resources available to you, and combine them with your personal opinions of what romance means. For a realistic romantic-relationship growth, you have to start with believing the relationship yourself, even if said relationship goes against your beliefs. Convince yourself then you can convince others.
A few resources to help you:
Genre Help: Romance - thewritershelpers
Writing Romance - writing-world
Signs of a Healthy Relationship -Â fuckyeahsexeducation
romantic-things.tumblr.com
my tag on reblogged posts pertaining to romance
Friendship Tropes - tvtropes
The Five Things Iâve Learned About Writing Romance from TV - jennycruise
The Semi-Grand List of Overused Romance Clichés - queen-of-swords
Iâm terribly sorry for the really long wait, but I hope that helps!
