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@shoutitallout
Charles, a fighter pilot for the French-Monégasque Armée de l'Air, is also second in line to the Monégasque throne. And, so what, if he has a crush on Max Verstappen? Even as a tifoso? And, so what, if Max Verstappen just bought him a drink?
He's a trained, professional soldier who's done two tours in Afghanistan... He can be totally normal about this.
(He cannot, in fact, be normal about this)
(But that's okay, because neither can Max)
Posted Chapter 16/16
Read on AO3
Come Fly With Me - Chapter 16
“Charles, come on! We’re going to be late, schatje!”
Max’s voice echoed from down the hall, his footsteps uneven as he navigated over the various boxes and furniture still scattered throughout the house. They’d just moved into their new home last week and they were still figuring out where everything went.
The door to the bedroom opened and Max leaned against it, looking at Charles with one raised eyebrow. Charles looked back imploringly, green eyes wide and sad, while a wriggling Leo continued to lick his face enthusiastically. He pouted for added effect, sticking out his bottom lip dramatically.
Read on AO3
One of the things the time jump between Heated Rivalry and Long Game robs us of is seeing the effect coming out to his team has on Shane in real time. And that experience does a lot to inspire his anxiety and responses in TLG.
No one will ever convince me that there's not a connection between Shane coming out to his team, it not going well, and Shane volunteering to start an even more intensely restrictive diet than he was already on, that also punishes his relationship. Just like I will always view Shane's anxiety around Ilya coming out to the Centaurs/his friends as a trauma response based on how badly it went for him.
One of the most heartbreaking parts about Shane's performance diet to me, is how in both My Dinner with Hayden and TLG Shane and Ilya mention how they love to cook together, and it's like a fun couple thing for them. It's a point of connection, something they do together aside from hockey. And, unlike hockey, it's something they don't compete about.
Shane's performance diet robs them of this. There's a scene in TLG where Ilya has done a bunch of research to find a meal they can cook together that fits in Shane's diet. And Shane is delighted by this. But, notably, he puts no effort into finding other recipes they can do this with again. He tells Rose he likes the discipline of his diet, and I don't think he means just in regards to what and where he's eating, I think he also means in his relationship.
There's another major change we see in Shane between books. At the end of Heated Rivalry he's talking fairly optimisticly about both of them coming out to friends.
This is at the cottage. Very soon after they've decided they're in a real relationship. It's hard not to compare this with Shane's sheer panic in TLG when Ilya talks about coming out to Troy - not even about them, just about being bi - and also to the possibility of even meeting the rest of his team.
So, what's happened to Shane in the last three years that makes him go from joking around about coming out to his friends to rabidly controlling his relationship and protecting every small detail of it that he possibly can?
The fucking Voyaguers.
Fucking Montreal.
obsessed with shane hollander forgetting a word in english and turning to his husband desperately trying to explain what he means using fucking russian AND english and it goes like (russian is in italics)
shane: the fucking thing that we used with the pancake mix
ilya: whisk?
shane: no the flat thing!
ilya: pan?
shane: no, the flip!
ilya: spatula?
shane: YES THE SPATULA! anyway cassie i think our spatula isn’t really good do you gave a good brand you can recommend?
and everyone is confused as fuck lmfao
As someone for whom English is a third language, I feel this in my soul. Sometimes only my immediate family can understand me as I switch between English, Portuguese, and French indiscriminately to describe a thing.
thinking about "ilya fell for shane when he saw shane fold his clothes at the first hookup" as a concept and it's. really sweet actually
ilya, all of 18 years old, is a thrillseeker who is already habitually picking up women, already living so fast that the clubs and parties and people and bodies are blending together in his memory. there's a monotony developing there and he's itching to raise the stakes: to take bigger risks, claim bigger rewards. and what could be a bigger risk than hooking up with his golden-boy hockey rival? it would take effort, but the high he'd get from pulling this off just once (and of course it would only be once) would be unlike anything else.
so he puts in the effort. the leadup to his hookup with hollander is entirely off-script for him, a deviation from the patterns and routines he's developed around sex. he premeditates it, he thinks about how good it will feel if this works, fantasizes about what might happen, and plans the joint CCM shoot. the day arrives and he feels electric, takes a real risk in the showers, feels the rush of his risk paying off when hollander says "not here" instead of "no" and, later, offers his room number.
ilya shows up at room 1410 and immediately launches into seduction: this part is more on-script, more familiar to ilya, but still heightened because it's hollander, and heightened again when he confirms it's hollander's first time with a man, and again because it turns out hollander is starving for this, devouring ilya with his eyes and his hands, all intense and urgent and wanting. it's so heady. everything up to this point has already been enough to make this night live in ilya's memory forever. they move to the bed, he tells hollander to take his clothes off and he does -
and he takes the time to fold his clothes. in the middle of a hookup. what?
i love the laugh that connor storrie does in the show at that moment. just, his whole face lit up. ilya isn't bemused, he's not making fun of hollander for doing this. he's genuinely delighted.
because this. this is something that he's never seen before. it surprises him. he is hooking up with shane hollander and this is a uniquely shane hollander thing to do and it burns into his brain. its personal and intimate, it's terribly endearing. he already knows he will remember this moment specifically, will return to it when he thinks about this night in the future, like a bookmark placed in a well-loved book.
he had hoped to walk away from this experience feeling exhilarated and satisfied that he pulled off a hookup with the most dangerous person he could think of. he did not expect to walk away from this with a warm, fond memory of shane hollander - not just his hockey rival in that moment, but a real, knowable man who surprised him in a way that he liked.
i think the next time ilya has sex with someone and she carelessly drops her clothes on the floor, he thinks about hollander. thinks about how he would have never thought that was careless, before. maybe he smiles a little to himself and catches it, has to shake the memory off, feels a little bad for losing focus on the woman he's with. tells himself it won't happen again. but of course that's not how it works, and the memory only digs deeper into him. it happens again the next time, and the time after that.
he's not in control of when the memory comes to him and he ends up thinking about it more and more, thinking about shane more and more. and attention is the beginning of devotion. it's not love yet, but it's something like a crush, and it's more than he's thought about anyone in this way before. it's a crack in the persona he's been building, in his protective armor that keeps people away and keeps his heart safe. it's a step off an invisible cliff. it's inevitable that he falls after that.
The slow and inevitable fall of Ilya Rozanov 😭😭
yes hockey IS that serious
Yeeeeees give me beaten up Shane using a bag of frozen spinach from his freezer as a cold pack because Ilya stole his ice pack the last time he was over.
"Do you ever dream of land?" The whale asks the tuna.
"No." Says the tuna, "Do you?"
"I have never seen it." Says the whale, "but deep in my body, I remember it."
"Why do you care," says the tuna, "if you will never see it."
"There are bones in my body built to walk through the forests and the mountains." Says the whale.
"They will disappear." Says the tuna, "one day, your body will forget the forests and the mountains."
"Maybe I don't want to forget," Says the whale, "The forests were once my home."
"I have seen the forests." Whispers the salmon, almost to itself.
"Tell me what you have seen," says the whale.
"The forests spawned me." Says the salmon. "They sent me to the ocean to grow. When I am fat with the bounty of the ocean, I will bring it home."
"Why would the forests seek the bounty of the oceans?" Asks the whale. "They have bounty of their own."
"You forget," says the salmon, "That the oceans were once their home."
Last year I finally had an excuse to illustrate this simple little Tumblr story I've had bookmarked forever for class.
I hope you like it :]
Charles pulling P4 out of his ass this weekend. Chiara was truly a lucky charm considering how abysmal he does in Canada.
ok so… bienvenue a montreal!
obvi. shoutout to my newfound interest (hrpf gets us all) and to the habs for their playoff run. little nod to that. always love using an intentional pencil look. here’s to the french uber driver who corrected us for saying bienvenue a circuit gilles villeneuve to bienvenue AU circuit. sorry king.
This looks dope! Also, let's fucking go, Habs! Please don't take this series to game 7 (again)
I think the day Shane sits down and actually unravels the extent to which Ilya's family was, essentially, extorting him for money since he was out of juniors, he is going to be gripped by a wave of pitch black fury so intense it manifests as a physical feeling, a clenching in his throat his chest his stomach. He is going to remember Ilya at twenty nineteen seventeen, smooth faced and still so heart stoppingly handsome, and he is going to feel so deeply enraged on behalf of that kid. That kid who didn't have a mother to sit him down at the dinner table at fourteen and meticulously explain financial jargon to him until it all stopped flying over his head and the gibberish actually started to mean something. He didn't have that same mother set an alarm for three in the morning so she could make a call with Reebok and negotiate a deal on his behalf, and then do it again for Tim Hortons, Gatorade, Calvin Klein, CCM. He didn't have a father who always sneakily paid the bill at every restaurant they went to as a family no matter what because he didn't want Shane spending his money on them. A father who carefully set aside a college fund for Shane, just in case he decided hockey wasn't what he wanted. Shane thinks of that kid, navigating the jabbering of some accountant in a second language he barely understood, giving him advice on spending habits and credit scores and barely masking their condescension about the stumbling accented responses they'd receive, and Shane literally has to bend over and grip his office desk, white-knuckled and trembling because it's not fair it's not fair it's not fucking fair someone should have been there someone should have noticed someone should have stepped up and said something why why did nobody fucking do anything!!
I think Shane's going to straighten up after the wave passes over and through him and he's going to think Okay. Enough. And then he's going to drag Ilya from where he's been lounging on their couch, resplendent in his sweats and baggy tee, and he's going to make him sit down and read through his mom's probing emails about possible brand deals that would suit Ilya's image and he's going to ignore Ilya's performative whining and he's going to make him talk through every one and the whole time he's thinking Never again, I'll never let it happen to you ever again.
I also imagine that Shane, in his righteous fury, thinks about this for a long time and then one day decides that no one should go through what Ilya did, and informally sets up an "accounting for idiot NHL rookies 101" before the start of the new season so he can walk that year's rookies through the financial jargon they need and give them recommendations for accountants that won't take advantage of them.
It's so popular that first year that the next year one of the former rookies sends Shane a text asking him when this year's session is because they have a rookie from Sweden on their team and he's very confused about US rules and international taxes and the entire money thing, and he also doesn't know who to send the rookie to bc his accountant is not currently accepting new clients.
So Shane holds it again, and this time Yuna tags along to talk about marketing.
And then it happens again. And again. And eventually he compiles a PowerPoint because people forget some of the stuff he talked about and keep messaging him about it but he's in the middle of the season and has his own shit to deal with.
And then somehow after he retires he's still fucking helping these 18-22 year old kids figure out how to adult because no one had Yuna as a mom and is actually prepared for the type of cash flow a professional sport contract can do to your life and how to properly market yourself so your imagine can generate even more money on your behalf.
Come Fly With Me - Chapter 15
Charles arrived at the Belgium GP feeling better than he had in months. His seizures were mostly under control, and as long as he was careful, his back only ached if he sat or stood for too long. Case in point, a couple days ago he’d decided to test his limits and joined Max on a short jog around Monaco. The run itself had been okay, and he’d been sore and tired the next day, but he hadn’t been in pain—something he hadn’t thought possible back in November when he’d been lying in a hospital bed thinking his walking days were over.
And now he had Leo.
Read on AO3
Finally coloured him!!!!!!! Shane with a lily tattoo my beloved!!!! Gonna colour myIlya too next!!!
I COULDN'T NOT REBLOG THE SHANE ONE! LOOK AT IT! RAAAAAAWR
Ilya with the loon tattoo finally coloured!!! To go with myShane and the sketch versions here and here!!!
I have an idea for a 3rd piece in this series but!!!! We'll see
O.M.G!!!! I FEEL RABID OVER THIS AND SHANE! CLICK THE LINK TO SEE SHANE WITH A LILY TATTOO I CANNOT!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Man, I was so nice with the call signs in Come Fly With Me. Could have made them so much funnier.
Hello I am the anon responsible for @shoutitallout ‘s lovely fic being known as the lestappen Patrick Dempsey terrorist bombing fic and I feel the need to come out now from behind the veil of anonymity because I am truly the first ever person in my lineage to type and speak aloud that specific array of words and I think, dare I say, that may just be a milestone to be celebrated.
Everyone go read it please please please I read it on the longest bus ride home of my life through ungodly hours of the night using my hair as a privacy screen and it was nothing short of euphoric, please go show her and her lestappen mcdreamy terrorist bombing fic some love💚💚💚💚and some of her other work too cause it’s great!
anon or do i have to say user llordgarmadon, hiiiii! good to see you on my dashhh, you have no idea how much i had to laugh sunday night when you send that anon message about this fic. you are truly the first person in the history of mankind to utter those words in that order and i am sooo grateful <3
i was so sure i read this fic somewhere last year but just couldn’t find it anywhere. at some point i thought it was must’ve been some coke induced dream cause no way that my brain is so creative that it can imagine a story where max is jealous of patrick dempsey, a bomb goes off and charles forgets who he is 😭💀
anywaysss loved that story
You know what? Yes, I do believe @llordgarmadon is the first person to use those exact words to describe this fic. I'm pretty sure I was only calling it either Charles amnesia fic or terrorist fic to my betas and friends. Mainly because poor Patrick Dempsey wasn't a thing until halfway through writing it and then HE WAS ONLY SUPPOSED TO BE A THROWAWAY LINE! He forced himself into the fic to the point of requiring a tag, and I have never been more giddy than to be proven right now that he's basically showing up at every GP and shamelessly flirting with Max and Charles every time he shows up.
Also, the idea of someone reading this fic while on the bus using their hair as a privacy screen just makes me so happy and amused. 😍😍
my no stakes hollanov headcanon of the day is that hollanov accidentally acquire a cat. it's a black boy cat with white whiskers and yellow eyes and he's one long noodle and he loves shane. and when faced with naming him, shane panicks and calls him puck. which leads to people being like, haha of course you'd name your pet after a hockey thing. and shane’s like, no actually, it's for shakespeare, and everyone will be like, oh. OH. meanwhile ilya is standing in the corner shaking his head completely baffled that people actually believe this outrageous and so very obvious lie because shane got so flustered and embarrassed about naming his cat puck (for hockey) that he relentlessly googled puck (characters in media).
Well, I was already percolating the idea of the cat distribution system choosing Shane while he's out on a run and he comes back with this tiny kitten having followed him home, but now I clearly have to adopt this idea into this fic if I ever get around to writing it.
I just saw that there are only 2 more chapters, I don’t know what I’ll do with myself in a month’s time. As a person who reads a lot, this fic is one of my favourite things ever, thankyou for this masterpiece 🥰
Aww thanks!! We're so close to the end!! Kind of crazy to think of it ❤️❤️ This fic truly grew a life of its own and I'm so glad people have enjoyed it (lol I remember when I still thought it would be maybe 60K words. Hilarious)
