Wait I’ve never watched doctor who I thought this was a porno.
it’s a kids show
$LAYYYTER
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Today's Document

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@showfreak
Wait I’ve never watched doctor who I thought this was a porno.
it’s a kids show
I rarely have a visceral reaction to a TikTok but this one... this one got me
List of wild things in this video:
- The guy whose computer screen you can see at the start is looking up “what to do if a dog has rabies”
- The unbroken wall of hydroflasks in front of the teacher’s podium
- Good Mythical Morning poster
- Inexplicable “NO TALKING DURING RAZOR LOVE” sign
- The guy next to the videographer just has the letters “WBOEOADRS” in giant font on his computer screen
- The teacher knowing to pause for booing after he mentione Ashe County Middle School
- The kid that yells “I hate them!” enthusiastically
- A sign that says “NO FREAKING” with a picture of two stick figures having sex
- Hand-painted “educasion is overated” poster
- The fact that the class knows to say “standing by” when he tells them to stand by
- The woman literally waiting outside the door to hand over the dog
- The tenderness with which he handles the dog before he announces its imminent demise
- “DO YOUR BUCKING VOCAB”
the poster with Lionel Richie that says "Hello?"
This guy knows what he’s talking about. He’s one of the lead writers for Leverage and if you ever watch the series on DVD, do yourself a favor and listen to him talk about how the scripts got written. Some of the advice he has is stuff I use all the time: 1. Don’t introduce an important plot person or thing after the first half of the story. 2. Always tie up loose ends. 3. Introduce important things in the middle of unimportant things. 4. If you have to infodump, find an emotion to tie it to and it will seem less like infodump and more like a motive rant. Seriously this guy knows how to write.
Do you ever just… favorite-character-at-first-sight? Like, they walk on screen and say ONE WORD and immediately you’re just smitten.
“That one. That’s the one. I don’t know who they are yet but they’re my fave.”
we make fun of thorin getting lost in the shire but you know the nazgul also had to keep asking for directions to find bag end so maybe hobbits’ city planning is just wack
The Hobbits have spent generations making their roads complex af to keep Gandalf out
Theory accepted
#which is why they’re always so sulky whenever he shows up………….#oh………….you found ur way back………………how nice…………….. (via @thisbrilliantsky)
Which is also why Gandalf is always late
but of course this is the absolute Least successful way to keep GANDALF of all people out, because-
it’s a challenge
that WON’T potentially kill him
which is really in short supply lately.
so while the hobbits think they are being hostile. what they are actually saying in Gandalf-speak is “please come back. we love you.”
maybe you should kiss a cat on its tiny little head then you'll feel better
ptah! ptah!! hair in my mouf
So. When I was in 5th grade. All my classmates had ganged up on me and called me a lesbian and I didn’t even know what it meant at the time. I even said “I’m Spanish. Not lesbianese”
Anyways. At lunch a lunch lady had saw them making fun of me and asked when they said and I told her they called me a lesbian and she told them to apologize????
And then I remember telling my teacher the next day and as class was leaving she asked for me to hang back. She told me that being a lesbian was nothing bad and to just ignore them. I was like “I don’t even know what a lesbian is? All i said was that queen amidala was so pretty I wanted to marry her” and my teacher chuckled and nodded her head before saying that I could go.
Y'know…looking back on this, I’m pretty sure my teacher was a lesbian.
I absolutely love Hispanic dads and moms.
the google emojis are pretty hit and miss but i can't talk any shit about its dagger emoji that one slaps
other dagger emojis: yep. this is a dagger.
google dagger emoji: would you like an ☆.。.:*・° enchanted blade ☆.。.:*・°?
late night animation of chin scratches :3
please serve her she is very hungry she walked an hour just to get here she has 8 children
*fully embraces wine mom culture at age 19*
Giving mom a kiss before bedtime.
Four cubs? She has FOUR healthy, happy cubs??? I’m 🥺😭❤
them: u can’t just cut away ppl like that
me: snip snip
The first funny bitch was Cain, who straight up lied to God after killing his brother.
God: where’s Abel?
Cain: fuck if I know??? I’m not in charge of him
It is TRAGIC that you can’t read this in the original Hebrew.
God: Where’s the Sheepkeeper?
Cain: Do I LOOK like a Brotherkeeper?
God: hey where’s Abel???
Cain:
He killed his yonger brother in cold blood because he was jealous of him. There is in no way anything funny about this. No hesitation just poped a rock over his turned head, droped his body over the edged and tried to lie to god about what he did. FUCK YALL CRAZIES!!!
oh are those the receipts, Cain is problematic now?
Cainceled