John Egbert

effusiveBrilliance. john egbert, heir of breath here to sing you a song!

[fanonical]

not wanting to be outdone by the benders in the gang, sokka invents the flamethrower, the supersoaker, the leaf blower, and the concept of throwing rocks at people

[sugarcoatednightshade]

this is canon. to me.

[bowandbrush]

wait did anyone draw this already

[showtime-dave]

Off-Broadway Dave - Mean (Dave's Version) (Homestuck Parody of "Mean (Taylor's Version)" by Taylor Swift)

okay im not gonna lie i really like this

im no tswift by any means though and i know that

im sure everyone will be totally normal

(lyric edit by me, below the cut)

[Verse 1] You, with your literal knives And swords and weapons that you use against me You have knocked me off my feet again Got me feelin' like a nothing You, with your silent stares like a beacon Faking me out in a strife now You, pickin' on the weaker man

[Pre-Chorus] Well, you can take me down With just one single blow But you don't know what you don't know

[Chorus] Someday, I'll leave this high-rise for a different city And all you're ever gonna be is mean Someday, I'll be strong enough so you can't hit me And all you're ever gonna be is mean Why you gotta be so mean?

[Verse 2] You, with your stupid shades And your smuppet shit and your humiliation You have pointed out my flaws again As if I don't already see them I walk with my eyes wide, trying not to hide 'Cause your puppet shit’s freaky I just wanna feel okay for once

[Pre-Chorus] I bet you got neglected too Somebody made you cold But the cycle ends right now 'Cause you can't lead me down that road And you don't know what you don't know

[Chorus] Someday, I'll leave this high-rise for a different city And all you're ever gonna be is mean Someday, I'll be strong enough so you can't hit me And all you're ever gonna be is mean Why you gotta be so mean?

[Bridge] And I can see you now that I'm in the game Laying limp on the cold hard ground With that same smug, quiet judgement, but nobody's listening Beat up and knocked down about being the hero again And I’m a little sad about how I lost you But all you are is mean

[Buildup] All you are is mean And a douchebag, and abusive And alone in life, and mean And mean, and mean, and mean

[Chorus] But someday, I'll leave this high-rise for a different city And all you're ever gonna be is mean Someday, I'll be strong enough so you can't hit me And all you're ever gonna be is mean Why you gotta be so mean?

Someday, I'll leave this high-rise for a different city (Why you gotta be so mean?) And all you're ever gonna be is mean (Why you gotta be so mean?) Someday, I'll be strong enough so you can't hit me (Why you gotta be so mean?) And all you're ever gonna be is mean Why you gotta be so mean?

[showtime-aradia]

Visit Original Link

s0me times y0u just want t0 g0 against y0ur pr0graming....ribbit

art done by the amazing @off-broadway-karkat

Lyrics

Thank you, thank you, thank you! Thank you for gracing me with your presence! Good afternoon, Sir, what can I do, Sir? Just say the word, Sir, anything for you, Sir Your friends all say, Sir, "You don't deserve her" I disagree, Sir, I live to serve, Sir I think about all the wasted time I've spent (I think about all the wasted time I've spent) I wanna be disobedient (I wanna be disobedient) I stood awake, wondering where my summers went (I stood awake, wondering where my summers went) I wanna be disobedient, disobedient, disobedient (I wanna be disobedient, disobedient, disobedient) I've been good, Sir, so very, very good for what? And I've given you every single thing I've got It's feeling strange, man, this whole arrangement Is gonna end with me totally deranged I think about all the wasted time I've spent (I think about all the wasted time I've spent) I wanna be disobedient (I wanna be disobedient) I stood awake, wondering where my summers went (I stood awake, wondering where my summers went) I wanna be disobedient, disobedient, disobedient (I wanna be disobedient, disobedient, disobedient)

I want to be disobedient I want to be disobedient Disobedient, disobedient, disobedient

[showtime-dave]

Off-Broadway Dave - Alchemize (Homestuck Parody of "Polarize" by Twenty One Pilots)

i dont think i have anything ironic or witty to say about this one lads

i did wanted to be a better brother better son

since i was kind of both to the same guy

((lyrics rewritten by me, under the cut))

Help me alchemize, help me alchemize

Warned you bout

Those stairs is where I'll be fallin to the bottom

Help me alchemize, help me alchemize

Help me out

My friends and I, we've got a lot of problems

You know that I’m stunting

On them I am fronting

My life, all I make is a loop, a loop, a loop, oh

I wanted to be a better brother, better son

Wanted to see a better consequence to the hard work I have done

There is none to show to the ones I love

But a loop, a loop, a loop, oh

Help me alchemize, help me alchemize

Warned you bout

Those stairs is where I'll be fallin to the bottom

Help me alchemize, help me alchemize

Help me out

My friends and I, we've got a lot of problems

Alchemize is making your making your devices

Separating them, adding them up doing bitwise

-es deciding how to fly and deciding how to fight

A loop, a loop, a loop, oh

I wanted to be a better brother, better son

Wanted to see a better consequence to the hard work I have done

There is none to show to the ones I love

But a loop, a loop, a loop, oh

Help me alchemize, help me alchemize

Warned you bout

Those stairs is where I'll be fallin to the bottom

Help me alchemize, help me alchemize

Help me out

My friends and I, we've got a lot of problems

We have problems

We have problems

Angel de la muerte, nothing left to scare me

I’ll catch some Unreal Air

It’s much better than flying, flying

Angel de la muerte, nothing left to scare me

I’ll catch some Unreal Air

It’s much better than flying, flying

We have problems

We have problems

Help me alchemize, help me alchemize

Help me out

My friends and I have problems

Help me alchemize, help me alchemize

Help me out

My friends and I have problems

Help me alchemize, help me alchemize

Help me out

My friends and I have problems

Help me alchemize, help me alchemize

Help me out

My friends and I have problems

We have problems

We have problems

I wanted to be a better brother, better son

I wanted to be a better brother, better son

I wanted to be a better brother, better son

[showtime-john]

Visit Original Link

my first song as a part of off-broadwaystuck!

and many more to come!

no original lyrics just yet, but i'll still add them under the cut, just in case

She asked me, "Son, when I grow old Will you buy me a house of gold And when your father turns to stone Will you take care of me?" She asked me, "Son, when I grow old Will you buy me a house of gold And when your father turns to stone Will you take care of me?" I will make you queen of everything you see I'll put you on the map, I'll cure you of disease

Let's say we up and left this town And turned our future upside down We'll make pretend that you and me Lived ever after happily

She asked me, "Son, when I grow old Will you buy me a house of gold And when your father turns to stone Will you take care of me?" I will make you queen of everything you see I'll put you on the map, I'll cure you of disease

And since we know that dreams are dead And life turns plans up on their head I will plan to be a bum So i just might become someone

She asked me, "Son, when I grow old Will you buy me a house of gold? And when your father turns to stone Will you take care of me?" I will make you queen of everything you see I'll put you on the map, I'll cure you of disease

[showtimestuck]

Hey everyone! castelessGuardian here with some updates!

First of all, please remember our minimum age requirement is 18+, and we will not budge on this topic.

Second of all, we still have auditions open! Here is the list of characters that have spots open!

All auditions should be sent to the following email:

[email protected]

Your audition email should contain a name to call you, your age, your pronouns, and a file of you singing one song with minimal editing (you may choose the song). Preferably with more than 30 seconds of singing to showcase your range, and acapella. We will listen to the audition and if we like what we hear, we will send you a callback.

Happy auditioning! <3

- castelessGuardian

[showtime-dave]

Off-Broadway Dave - Lalala (Homestuck Parody)

"how are there two of you in the beginning" you may ask

another dave

hope hes not doomed

(lyrics by me under the cut)

[Dave & (Dave):] Did I really just forget that melody? (Naw, na, na, banananananana) Alright, dada dadadada

[Dave:] When I popped off, then your troll gave me just a little bit of lockjaw Baby so cold, he from space, he from Alternia Bankroll so low, I got nothing else that I can withdraw Ran out the door I shine my shades they go like shashasha shashasha I got your troll singing like lalala, lalala I shine my shades they go like shashasha, shashasha I got your troll singing like lalala, lalala How I strider like that

Boonbonds, no cap, Terezi knows They wonder how, how I stunt like that I rap my lyrics when I perform They wonder how, how I strider like that Married to the grind, I brought my ring I'm corny, but Terezi want the dick Modest with my suits, but check the bank Finally got the money, say my thanks

When I popped off, then your troll gave me just a little bit of lockjaw Baby so cold, he from space, he from Alternia Bankroll so low, I got nothing else that I can withdraw Ran out the door I shine my shades they go like shashasha shashasha I got your troll singing like lalala, lalala I shine my shades they go like shashasha, shashasha I got your troll singing like lalala, lalala How I strider like that

Haha, I'm at the bank again They wonder how, how I stunt like that Turntables with flames all on the sides They wonder how, how I strider like that Got that red suit on my body, now she tryna pipe me, woo Popped into another time loop, loopy boy, I keep you cool Got the god tier, kept my cool Be careful who you callin' a fool Ayy, ha, ayy

When I popped off, then your troll gave me just a little bit of lockjaw Baby so cold, he from space, he from Alternia Bankroll so low, I got nothing else that I can withdraw Ran out the door I shine my shades they go like shashasha shashasha I got your troll singing like lalala, lalala I shine my shades they go like shashasha, shashasha I got your troll singing like lalala, lalala How I strider like that

[showtimestuck]

Cast Auditions - Fuck It Let’s Cast Everyone

Hello everyone, castelessGuardian here with another round of auditions! We are hosting auditions for casting as Homestuck character singers, and I promise it’s a lot of fun!

For this round of Auditions, we will be looking for One ENTIRE MONTH (09/03/2024 to 10/03/2024) for ALL THE MISSING CHARACTERS!

We are looking for:

- Rose Lalonde

- Jade Harley

- Jane Crocker

- Dirk Strider

- Roxy Lalonde

- Jake English

- Tavros Nitram

- Sollux Captor

- Nepeta Leijon

- Kanaya Maryam

- Terezi Pyrope

- Vriska Serket

- Equius Zahhak

- Gamzee Makara

- Eridan Ampora

- Feferi Peixes

We will be open to auditions for all non casted characters on the email below. It may extend for longer if necessary. All auditions should be sent to the following email:

[email protected]

All prospective members should be 18+ years old. Your audition email should contain a name to call you, your age, your pronouns, and a file of you singing one song with minimal editing (you may choose the song). Preferably with more than 30 seconds of singing to showcase your range, and acapella. We will listen to the audition and if we like what we hear, we will send you a callback.

Happy auditioning! <3

- castelessGuardian

[broadway-karkat]

Visit Original Link

THANK YOU TO PAST ME @karkaraoke FOR HELPING ME PUT TOGETHER THIS SHIT-SHOW. ENJOY.

LYRICS, AS ALWAYS, BELOW THE CUT

Am I more than she bargained for yet? I've been trying to get just anywhere she wants to be But she'll see through who I am this week

Stuck in the lab, alone with these fucking movies Guess I deserve the cold shoulder for talkin' to Jade all that time (Deserve the cold shoulder for talkin' to Jade all that time)

Drop her heart, play with Spades And now she's falling for some hipster, 'cause he's not me!

We're goin' down, down And I'm countin' down 'til the ride on this meteor's over Growing up, and soon I can show it A Knight of Blood godtier before you know it!

Down, down, and I'm counting down 'Til there's no more for me to get over Growing up, and soon I can show it A Knight of Blood godtier before you know it!

Is this more than we bargained for yet? Oh, don't mind me, I'm watching marathons of rom-coms Wishing that I could be just fine like them

Isn't it messed up, how I'm just dyin' to be him? But I guess I deserve it, for fucking this up from the start (Guess I deserved this, for fucking this up from the start)

All this blood, all this pain I don't want to be a threshercutioner either

We're goin' down, down, and I'm counting down 'Til the ride on this rock is over Growin' up, and soon I can show it I'll be a Knight of Blood godtier before you know it!

We're goin' down, down, and I'm counting down 'Til there's no more for me to get over Growin' up, and soon I can show it I'll be a Knight of Blood godtier, before you know it!

Down, down, and I'm still counting down 'Til the ride on this rock is over Growin' up, and soon I can show it I'll be a Knight of Blood godtier before you know it!

We're goin' down, down, and I'm still counting down 'Til there's no more for me to get over Growing up, and soon I can show it I'll be a Knight of Blood godtier before you know it!

We're goin' down, down (Down, down) We're goin' down, down (Down, down) We're goin' down, down (Down, down) A Knight of Blood godtier before you know it!

We're goin' down, down, and I'm still counting down 'Til there's no more for me to get over I'll grow up, and I know how to show it I'll be a Knight of Blood godtier before you know it!

[broadway-karkat]

Visit Original Link

I KNOW YOU EXPECT ME TO BE ALL LOVEY-DOVEY HERE BUT IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN.

<3.

LYRICS UNDER THE CUT.

Three years I've spent on this rock, Cursing the stars in my abyss I self prophesied my despair If only myself to blame for it

Some people say trials like these Show you who really is a friend That's why I promised myself I'd never be ruled by this again

I wonder why you are the only exception…

You are the only exception (x3)

Baby, I know somewhere, Deep in my soul, These things never last..

I just have to find other ways To make it alone or keep a Brave face..

And I always lived like this Keeping a comfortable Distance…

And up until now, Could've sworn That i was content with loneliness (because none of it was worth the risk)

You are the only exception (x4)

I like to think I've got a tight grip on reality (Tight grip on reality)

I try to focus on the things that I have left (Whoa)

I know that in your heart I'm only his replacement (I'm only his replacement)

But there's a special place in mine for my only friend (Whoa)

You are the only exception

You are the only exception

You are the only exception

You are (The only exception!)

You are the only exception (x4)

And I'm on my way to accepting…

Oh and I'm on my way to accepting.

[showtimestuck]

Cast Auditions - Fuck It Let’s Cast Everyone

Hello everyone, castelessGuardian here with another round of auditions! We are hosting auditions for casting as Homestuck character singers, and I promise it’s a lot of fun!

For this round of Auditions, we will be looking for One ENTIRE MONTH (09/03/2024 to 10/03/2024) for ALL THE MISSING CHARACTERS!

We are looking for:

- Rose Lalonde

- Jade Harley

- Jane Crocker

- Dirk Strider

- Roxy Lalonde

- Jake English

- Tavros Nitram

- Sollux Captor

- Nepeta Leijon

- Kanaya Maryam

- Terezi Pyrope

- Vriska Serket

- Equius Zahhak

- Gamzee Makara

- Eridan Ampora

- Feferi Peixes

We will be open to auditions for all non casted characters on the email below. It may extend for longer if necessary. All auditions should be sent to the following email:

[email protected]

All prospective members should be 18+ years old. Your audition email should contain a name to call you, your age, your pronouns, and a file of you singing one song with minimal editing (you may choose the song). Preferably with more than 30 seconds of singing to showcase your range, and acapella. We will listen to the audition and if we like what we hear, we will send you a callback.

Happy auditioning! <3

- castelessGuardian