Dave Strider

theatricalGrandeur. strider, that's what i like about texas. i sing sometimes

[showtime-dave]

Showtime Dave - What a Time To Be a Knight (Homestuck parody of "What a Time To Be Alive" by Fall Out Boy)

happy totally normal and not culturally significant at all day to everyone

i dunno i just kinda wasnt feeling a jingle bell spirit, so i went with a non-christmas fall out boy song

have safe be fun drink some nog for me

(lyric edit by me under the cut)

[Verse 1]

Sometimes, you wonder if we're ever lookin’ back

At that fateful day, that April thirteen

And sayin', "That's the way, the world, it used to be

Before games started burstin’ out their screen"

We're out here and we're ready, we're here and we're ready

To liveblog the end of the world

I don't care if it's gritty, my rhymes so witty

Ramblin on til my speech is slurred, yeah, oh

[Pre-Chorus]

'cause everything is lit except the fucking meteor

Everything is lit but the forge inside me

Everything is lit

[Chorus 1]

But, baby, please, I feel like time won't unhold me

Even though its by now remold me

Oh, I think I'm slippin' out my right mind

Oh, what a time to be a knight

[Post-Chorus]

What a time to be a knight

What a time to be a knight

What a time to be a knight

[Verse 2]

They say that godtier's cause for celebration

But I don't wanna see my own friends die (friends die)

It always felt much more like isolation

And I just wanna be a regular guy

We're out here and we’re ready, we're here and we're ready

To liveblog the end of the world

And I'm goin' on and on and on

Acrobatic swag while I pirouette, off, the handle here

[Pre-Chorus]

Oh, 'cause everything is lit except the fucking meteor

Everything is lit but the forge inside me

Everything is lit

[Chorus 1]

But, baby, please, I feel like time won't unhold me

Even though its by now remold me

Oh, I think I'm slippin' out my right mind

Oh, what a time to be a knight

[Post-Chorus]

What a time to be a knight

What a time to be a knight

What a time to be a knight

[Bridge]

What a time to be a knight, to be a knight

[Guitar Solo]

[Chorus 2]

When, when, when I said, "Leave me alone", this isn't quite what I meant

I got the meteor blues, we lose, what's next?

So, it seems Jack Noir is gettin' too full to fly, oh

What a time to be a knight

[Post-Chorus]

What a time to be a knight

What a time to be a knight

What a time to be a knight

[Outro]

What a time to be a knight (What a time, what a time to be a knight)

What a time to be a knight (What a time, what a time to be a knight)

What a time to be a knight (What a time, what a time to be a knight)

What a time to be a knight

Sometimes you wonder if we're ever lookin' back

[showtime-dave]

Showtime Dave (?) - (Used to be) Homestuck [Homestuck parody of "Love Drunk" by Boys Like Girls]

hey folks happy 4/13 homestuck day

im technically not singing as me but im still me ydg

probably

the fourth wall is made of straight up jello brand gelatin at this point but we vibin

jigglin and shit

((lyrics by me under the cut))

April in 2009 Webcomic posted on some page online The world, about to realign (about to realign) We got invested in a boy named ‘John’ And in the game that started thereupon Oh boy, there’s so much more beyond…

I used to be home stuck, the fandom took over We went to the cons, yeah, to grey paint all over We used to read all night, now we’ll just deny it And ev-er-y April, remember the Old Times 'Cause every ship in canon sank I used to be home stuck, the fandom took over I'll live here forever, it’s never over

Grey skin and typing quirks Act 5 created online fireworks The lore, complicated verse The fandom argued over ships and kins And whether we could forgive Vriska’s sins And man, we learned that no one wins…

I used to be home stuck, the fandom took over We went to the cons, yeah, to grey paint all over We used to read all night, now we’ll just deny it And ev-er-y April, remember the Old Times 'Cause every ship in canon sank I used to be home stuck, the fandom took over I'll live here forever, it’s never over

Every page I reread from you All the bullshit you put me through I’ll start another readthrough cuz all the complaints I do Wouldn’t change a thing I do

I used to be home stuck, the fandom took over I'll live here forever, it’s never over

I used to be home stuck, the fandom took over We went to the cons, yeah, to grey paint all over We used to read all night, now we’ll just deny it And ev-er-y April, remember the Old Times 'Cause every ship in canon sank I used to be home stuck, the fandom took over I'll live here forever, it’s never over

It’s never over (about to realign) It’s never over

[showtime-dave]

Showtime Dave - check (Homestuck parody of "check" by bbno$)

someone tell this bibinos fellow hes got some bangers

some bops even

i hope he knows he slaps

oh shit what do you mean he was miku

((lyrics rewritten by me, below the cut))

I got Money, payroll, on the tightrope Smell it out like ‘rezi Pyrope Gritting teefies it's my main goal Know nobody and say the word go Fortunes untold, good for John, yeah, we out of control Dave is back, and he on patrol yeah There you go it’s time to find another loophole

I stay taking care of my base Got my boonies in my case That's a check, check, check, check, check Run this whole entire place Running faster than the race That's a check, check, check, check, check Fuck it, I'm like: Lalala! (that's nice) Lalala! (big bag) Lalala!

Oh my goodness gracious Yeah, she feelin a little spacious Impact event, that’s Cretaceous Smooth and cold, my bro Timaeus I said I’m a needs-know basis Taking a big ass bite, voracious You want our plays, can’t make us Run these market stocks, no naks detain us

Crazy lil troll tryna get my deets 'Cause she know that I do the do Do little quip and do little wave Yeah, got luck like a damn horseshoe

Oh my gog! I'm swinging big dick energy Oh my gog! Yeah, we godtier to infinity

I stay taking care of my base Got my boonies in my case That's a check, check, check, check, check Run this whole entire place Running faster than the race That's a check, check, check, check, check Fuck it, I'm like: Lalala! Lalala! Lalala! — Stridin to the bank, Stridin to the bank Lalala! — yeah, bitch Lalala! Lalala! — Stridin to the bank, Stridin to the bank

Hey!! Let's go crazy!!! Hey!! Let's go crazy!!!

[broadway-karkat]

Visit Original Link

I HAD TO BULLSHIT AT THE BEGINNING BECAUSE TUMBLR DOESN'T FUCKING ALLOW IT WITHOUT SOME SORT OF INTERVENTION. ANYWAY, ENJOY YOUR DAVEKAT.

I GREATLY ENJOYED WORKING WITH @off-broadway-dave FOR ONCE IN MY SORRY EXCUSE OF A LIFE.

ART BY museofdoom2 ON REDDIT

LYRICS BELOW THE CUT

It's pourin' in, you're laid on the floor again One knock at the door and then We both know how the story ends You can't win if your white flag's out when the war begins Aimin' so high, but swingin' so low Tryna catch fire, but feelin' so cold Hold it inside, and hope it won't show I'm sayin' it's not, but inside I know

Today's gonna be the day you notice 'Cause I'm tired of explainin' what the joke is

This is what you asked for, heavy is the crown Fire in the sunrise, ashes rainin' down Try to hold it in, but it keeps bleedin' out This is what you asked for, heavy is the - Heavy is the crown

Turn to run, now look what it's become Outnumbered, ten to one Back then, should've bit your tongue 'Cause there's no turnin' back this path once it's begun You're already on that list Say you don't want what you can't resist Wavin' that sword when the pen won't miss Watch it all fallin' apart like this

This is what you asked for, heavy is the crown Fire in the sunrise, ashes rainin' down Try to hold it in, but it keeps bleedin' out This is what you asked for, heavy is the - Heavy is the crown

Today's gonna be the day you notice 'Cause I'm tired of explainin' what the joke is This is what you asked for

This is what you asked for, heavy is the crown Fire in the sunrise, ashes rainin' down Try to hold it in, but it keeps bleedin' out This is what you asked for, heavy is the Heavy is the crown

Heavy is the crown Heavy is the

Heavy is the crown

[broadway-karkat]

Visit Original Link

DOOMED TIMELINES FUCKING SUCK, JUST ASK @off-broadway-dave ABOUT IT. HE SANG SOME SHITTY SONG EARLIER ABOUT BEING DOOMED SO AT LEAST WE GOT OURSELVES A GRUB SNOOZEFEST OF UNHAPPINESS AND MISERY HAPPENING IN HERE. GO TEAM.

LYRICS UNDER THE CUT, AS ALWAYS

How could I be so impulsive and disappoint? Shaking me down to my core, I wish it was numb Without a sound, now perish from a doomed timeline Strider I don’t have the nerve, to give you up

(Listen up!) I swear that I tried (Karkat listen up!) I swear that I tried (Stay with me!) Don’t you know that death gave us it’s mark

(Listen up!) You can have my soul (Karkat listen up!) If it makes you whole (Stay with me!) It could save us from this doomed timeline

Now that I think of all the things That I have done to you Leave me I can’t stand this suffering I’m not that strong

(Listen up!) I swear that I tried (Karkat listen up!) I swear that I tried (Stay with me!) Don’t you know that death gave us it’s mark

(Listen up!) You can have my soul (Karkat listen up!) If it makes you whole (Stay with me!) It could save us from this doomed timeline

I’m not that strong (I’ve been playing a lie There’s no win in sight) I’m not that strong

Falling apart, doomed to die Doomed to fail you, darling On this cold game, wish there was another way

(All of this time I can’t believe I couldn’t see I was alone, and you were only there for me) I have wasted a thousand opportunities Got to open my mind to everything (Without a breath, without some time, without a light Don't let me die here I know you’ll do what’s right) I’m not that strong

(Listen up!) I swear that I tried (Karkat listen up!) I swear that I tried (Stay with me!) Don’t you know that death gave us it’s mark

(Listen up!) You can have my soul (Karkat listen up!) If it makes you whole (Stay with me!) It could save us from this doomed timeline

I’m not that strong (I’ve been playing a lie There’s no win in sight) I’m not that strong

[showtime-dave]

hey turn that frown upside down

at least we sound great

[broadway-karkat]

ABOUT TREBLESTUCK BEING OFF STREAMING…

YOU PEOPLE DO KNOW THEY STOLE THE HARD WORK OF @homestuck-vocals AND WERE PROFITING OFF NOSTALGIA MAKING LIKE THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS AT THE COST OF OLD FANDOM SONGS THEY DIDN’T HAVE THE RIGHTS TO DISTRIBUTE… RIGHT???

[showtime-dave]

even with spotify only paying like $0.003 to $0.005 per stream its inexfuckingscusable to take others work and make money off it

what we do is for free its entertainment its parody (dont say it dave) and like idk man when we (general) put our time and effort into things meant to be for free and someone takes that and tries to shill for money off our (general) hard work (mostly hs-vocals here) it sucks

[showtime-dave]

DAVE!!You should do mean by Taylor swift!

anon!! ive done it

i hope you like it

and i hope you tell me how you managed to only get this in my inbox via mobile

i legit cant open this ask on desktop

some magic ass shit

[showtime-dave]

Off-Broadway Dave - Mean (Dave's Version) (Homestuck Parody of "Mean (Taylor's Version)" by Taylor Swift)

okay im not gonna lie i really like this

im no tswift by any means though and i know that

im sure everyone will be totally normal

(lyric edit by me, below the cut)

[Verse 1] You, with your literal knives And swords and weapons that you use against me You have knocked me off my feet again Got me feelin' like a nothing You, with your silent stares like a beacon Faking me out in a strife now You, pickin' on the weaker man

[Pre-Chorus] Well, you can take me down With just one single blow But you don't know what you don't know

[Chorus] Someday, I'll leave this high-rise for a different city And all you're ever gonna be is mean Someday, I'll be strong enough so you can't hit me And all you're ever gonna be is mean Why you gotta be so mean?

[Verse 2] You, with your stupid shades And your smuppet shit and your humiliation You have pointed out my flaws again As if I don't already see them I walk with my eyes wide, trying not to hide 'Cause your puppet shit’s freaky I just wanna feel okay for once

[Pre-Chorus] I bet you got neglected too Somebody made you cold But the cycle ends right now 'Cause you can't lead me down that road And you don't know what you don't know

[Chorus] Someday, I'll leave this high-rise for a different city And all you're ever gonna be is mean Someday, I'll be strong enough so you can't hit me And all you're ever gonna be is mean Why you gotta be so mean?

[Bridge] And I can see you now that I'm in the game Laying limp on the cold hard ground With that same smug, quiet judgement, but nobody's listening Beat up and knocked down about being the hero again And I’m a little sad about how I lost you But all you are is mean

[Buildup] All you are is mean And a douchebag, and abusive And alone in life, and mean And mean, and mean, and mean

[Chorus] But someday, I'll leave this high-rise for a different city And all you're ever gonna be is mean Someday, I'll be strong enough so you can't hit me And all you're ever gonna be is mean Why you gotta be so mean?

Someday, I'll leave this high-rise for a different city (Why you gotta be so mean?) And all you're ever gonna be is mean (Why you gotta be so mean?) Someday, I'll be strong enough so you can't hit me (Why you gotta be so mean?) And all you're ever gonna be is mean Why you gotta be so mean?

[showtime-dave]

Off-Broadway Dave - Alchemize (Homestuck Parody of "Polarize" by Twenty One Pilots)

i dont think i have anything ironic or witty to say about this one lads

i did wanted to be a better brother better son

since i was kind of both to the same guy

((lyrics rewritten by me, under the cut))

Help me alchemize, help me alchemize

Warned you bout

Those stairs is where I'll be fallin to the bottom

Help me alchemize, help me alchemize

Help me out

My friends and I, we've got a lot of problems

You know that I’m stunting

On them I am fronting

My life, all I make is a loop, a loop, a loop, oh

I wanted to be a better brother, better son

Wanted to see a better consequence to the hard work I have done

There is none to show to the ones I love

But a loop, a loop, a loop, oh

Help me alchemize, help me alchemize

Warned you bout

Those stairs is where I'll be fallin to the bottom

Help me alchemize, help me alchemize

Help me out

My friends and I, we've got a lot of problems

Alchemize is making your making your devices

Separating them, adding them up doing bitwise

-es deciding how to fly and deciding how to fight

A loop, a loop, a loop, oh

I wanted to be a better brother, better son

Wanted to see a better consequence to the hard work I have done

There is none to show to the ones I love

But a loop, a loop, a loop, oh

Help me alchemize, help me alchemize

Warned you bout

Those stairs is where I'll be fallin to the bottom

Help me alchemize, help me alchemize

Help me out

My friends and I, we've got a lot of problems

We have problems

We have problems

Angel de la muerte, nothing left to scare me

I’ll catch some Unreal Air

It’s much better than flying, flying

Angel de la muerte, nothing left to scare me

I’ll catch some Unreal Air

It’s much better than flying, flying

We have problems

We have problems

Help me alchemize, help me alchemize

Help me out

My friends and I have problems

Help me alchemize, help me alchemize

Help me out

My friends and I have problems

Help me alchemize, help me alchemize

Help me out

My friends and I have problems

Help me alchemize, help me alchemize

Help me out

My friends and I have problems

We have problems

We have problems

I wanted to be a better brother, better son

I wanted to be a better brother, better son

I wanted to be a better brother, better son

[showtimestuck]

Hey everyone! castelessGuardian here with some updates!

First of all, please remember our minimum age requirement is 18+, and we will not budge on this topic.

Second of all, we still have auditions open! Here is the list of characters that have spots open!

All auditions should be sent to the following email:

[email protected]

Your audition email should contain a name to call you, your age, your pronouns, and a file of you singing one song with minimal editing (you may choose the song). Preferably with more than 30 seconds of singing to showcase your range, and acapella. We will listen to the audition and if we like what we hear, we will send you a callback.

Happy auditioning! <3

- castelessGuardian

[showtime-dave]

ayo i cant seem to answer the ask directly from my inbox because my inbox is telling me theres no ask

but anon who wanted a tswift song

does the version matter

[showtime-dave]

Off-Broadway Dave - Lalala (Homestuck Parody)

"how are there two of you in the beginning" you may ask

another dave

hope hes not doomed

(lyrics by me under the cut)

[Dave & (Dave):] Did I really just forget that melody? (Naw, na, na, banananananana) Alright, dada dadadada

[Dave:] When I popped off, then your troll gave me just a little bit of lockjaw Baby so cold, he from space, he from Alternia Bankroll so low, I got nothing else that I can withdraw Ran out the door I shine my shades they go like shashasha shashasha I got your troll singing like lalala, lalala I shine my shades they go like shashasha, shashasha I got your troll singing like lalala, lalala How I strider like that

Boonbonds, no cap, Terezi knows They wonder how, how I stunt like that I rap my lyrics when I perform They wonder how, how I strider like that Married to the grind, I brought my ring I'm corny, but Terezi want the dick Modest with my suits, but check the bank Finally got the money, say my thanks

When I popped off, then your troll gave me just a little bit of lockjaw Baby so cold, he from space, he from Alternia Bankroll so low, I got nothing else that I can withdraw Ran out the door I shine my shades they go like shashasha shashasha I got your troll singing like lalala, lalala I shine my shades they go like shashasha, shashasha I got your troll singing like lalala, lalala How I strider like that

Haha, I'm at the bank again They wonder how, how I stunt like that Turntables with flames all on the sides They wonder how, how I strider like that Got that red suit on my body, now she tryna pipe me, woo Popped into another time loop, loopy boy, I keep you cool Got the god tier, kept my cool Be careful who you callin' a fool Ayy, ha, ayy

When I popped off, then your troll gave me just a little bit of lockjaw Baby so cold, he from space, he from Alternia Bankroll so low, I got nothing else that I can withdraw Ran out the door I shine my shades they go like shashasha shashasha I got your troll singing like lalala, lalala I shine my shades they go like shashasha, shashasha I got your troll singing like lalala, lalala How I strider like that

[showtime-dave]

Off-Broadway Dave - Shades of Love (Homestuck parody of "Rouge of Love" from the Yakuza/Like a Dragon series)

i bet you thought you could outrun an ironic song

jokes on you

i got this karaoke shit on lock

(lyrics by me under the cut)

So I'm just what you think A plastic doll playing irony all night All you see, impassivity A single pixel denotes when I smile

I'm so over, men and this whole love shebang They don't mean a thing to me, throw it all away Though these frightened eyes Won't stop widening I'm free, shades hiding the doubt in me

The flashing lights of this game Already took my heart I fly into the darkness Like my unreal air skateboard

These god tier digs that i wear Already suit me so well I’ll wear it all if I keep My lucky Shades of Love

Yeah, you’d call me blasé Cracking jokes with nary a single smile Simple days are way behind me Innocence left me long before you met me

Once the game set, you’d say the match was won And the grist would flow for me, make boonbonds alone Maybe I lost my way In the incisisphere Maybe shades out in space ain’t the best idea

The darkness of these glasses Already marked my heart I fight with ½ bladekind To keep emotions at bay

Hurry up and help me Put my poor mind at ease I need a cure for this darkness In the form of love

The flashing lights of this game Already took my heart I fly into the darkness Like my unreal air skateboard

These god tier digs that i wear Already suit me so well They highlight eyes I keep hidden Shining brightly crimson

Hurry up and help me Put my poor mind at ease All of my tears are hidden Covered by Shades of Love

[showtime-dave]

Off-Broadway Dave - Just One Yesterday (Homestuck Parody)

its a lot

being a god and everything

i never got the chance to be a teenager before the world ended

dont ask why i chose this particular panel as the cover for the song i dont think i have an answer for that

duet with @off-broadway-karkat

lyrics rewritten by me, under the cut

I thought of godtiers Tangled in their jammies Prayed to on their separate altars See how silly they all looked then All just children on our own Tasked with things bigger than us.

Anything we say can and will be used against us We only type our words They'll still be held against us Anything we say can and will be used against us I'll only type your name

If Rose’s grief can play the rain Then I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday (I know I'm bad news)For just one yesterday (I saved it all for you)I want to be young and reckless in the worst kind of way Still I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday (I know I'm bad news)For just one yesterday (I saved it all for you)For just one yesterday

Lettin' people down is my thing, homeslice Find yourself a new gig This town ain't big enough for two of us I don't have the right name O-o-or the right shades But I have twice the time

Anything we say can and will be used against us We only type our words They'll still be held against us Anything we say can and will be used against us I'll only type your name

If Rose’s grief can play the rain Then I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday (I know I'm bad news)For just one yesterday (I saved it all for you)I want to be young and reckless in the worst kind of way Still I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday (I know I'm bad news)For just one yesterday (I saved it all for you)For just one yesterday

(KARKAT) If I hadn’t won Your world wouldn’t ever been born at least the same way Now, I'm here to give you all of my hate So I can watch your face as you play this fucking game, this game, this ga-a-ame

(DAVE & KK)

If Rose’s grief can play the rain Then I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday (I know I'm bad news)For just one yesterday (I saved it all for you)I want to be young and reckless in the worst kind of way Still I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday (I know I'm bad news)For just one yesterday (I saved it all for you)For just one yesterday

[broadway-karkat]

Visit Original Link

I KNOW YOU EXPECT ME TO BE ALL LOVEY-DOVEY HERE BUT IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN.

<3.

LYRICS UNDER THE CUT.

Three years I've spent on this rock, Cursing the stars in my abyss I self prophesied my despair If only myself to blame for it

Some people say trials like these Show you who really is a friend That's why I promised myself I'd never be ruled by this again

I wonder why you are the only exception…

You are the only exception (x3)

Baby, I know somewhere, Deep in my soul, These things never last..

I just have to find other ways To make it alone or keep a Brave face..

And I always lived like this Keeping a comfortable Distance…

And up until now, Could've sworn That i was content with loneliness (because none of it was worth the risk)

You are the only exception (x4)

I like to think I've got a tight grip on reality (Tight grip on reality)

I try to focus on the things that I have left (Whoa)

I know that in your heart I'm only his replacement (I'm only his replacement)

But there's a special place in mine for my only friend (Whoa)

You are the only exception

You are the only exception

You are the only exception

You are (The only exception!)

You are the only exception (x4)

And I'm on my way to accepting…

Oh and I'm on my way to accepting.

[showtime-dave]

kinda gay not gonna lie

<3

[showtime-dave]

Off-Broadway Dave - Call Me By Your Name (JohnDave/Pepsicola parody)

whats up i have a song and were all going to pretend its super ironic and cool and that i sound great

[showtime-dave]

i can hear the crowd asking

"dave when are you going to release a song goddamn"

well i have something truly rad on the decks right now

itll blow your human or troll ears away

its just uhhhh

stuff

yknow