I love the PTMC emergency attendings you've got passively suicidal, actively suicidal, uncontrolled seizures, and John Shen.
my cursed little bundles of despair + john with his dunkin

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@shplottwist
I love the PTMC emergency attendings you've got passively suicidal, actively suicidal, uncontrolled seizures, and John Shen.
my cursed little bundles of despair + john with his dunkin
Rabbotfest - Day 5: Soulmate AU
Jack rubs his eyes until stars dance in his vision.
He’s lost it. He’s finally cracked. After decades of emergency medicine, Jack Abbot has lost his goddamn mind to the point of hallucinating, because there is no way in hell what he just saw was real.
His name, in his very own squashed, chicken-scratch handwriting, sprawled in an arch over Michael Robinavitch’s right hip.
Of all the things he expected to happen today, Robby getting sprayed with an unfortunate bodily fluid and having to change his scrubs wasn’t high on the list, but it’s not entirely out of left field. However, seeing a soulmark on him was.
Jack recounts every time he’s seen Robby change before. There’s not many. Unlike Jack, who happily strips wherever is convenient, Robby tends to maintain his dignity by finding somewhere private before taking anything off.
He should leave it alone. Jack only caught a quick glimpse before it was covered again, and he easily could have misread what it said. It might not even be a soulmark; Robby has plenty of voluntary tattoos, he might have gotten another and didn’t feel the need to share it with Jack.
But the script nags at him. Jack has signed his name thousands of times; he likes to think he knows his own writing, and, he’s seen it before, nestled under his wife’s breast that he would trace and cherish every day until he lost her.
The scar etches itself in Jack’s mind as permanently as it is settled in Robby’s skin.
He lasts a month before the bubble brewing in his chest bursts. “Hey, Mike. Got a minute?”
Robby turns around, exhausted. He’d already given up a full day off to help out with the night shift; Jack is certain the last thing he wants is for this to be brought up, but he can’t resist any longer. He’s been staring at the hem of Robby’s scrub top all night, hoping it would raise enough for him to get another look, but his undershirt kept getting in the way.
“Yeah,” Robby rubs a hand over his face. “What’s up?”
“Uh.” The bright hospital lights blind him. “Not here. Walk with me.”
Robby frowns, but follows. Once they’re a safe distance away, Jack tugs uncomfortably on his backpack strap. He forces the churning in his stomach to relax enough for him to speak.
“I, uh, if I’m wrong, I’m really fucking sorry, and we can just forget this whole thing,” he starts. “But it’s really been eating at me, man, so I gotta ask.”
Robby stares expectantly. “Well?”
“A few weeks ago, I saw something on your hip.” All the color drains from Robby’s face, and he takes a wonky step back. “I might’ve misread it,” Jack rushes out.
A trembling hand massages the lines decorating Robby’s forehead. “Jesus Christ.”
“I might’ve misread it,” Jack repeats weakly.
“You know you didn’t,” Robby’s gruff voice shakes the ground beneath them.
An eerie silence settles between them. Jack rocks back and forth on his feet, keeping a nervous eye on Robby. He wouldn’t put it past him to bolt and never be seen again.
“I’ve been thinking about it,” Jack starts, tentatively. “And I don’t think it’d be a bad idea.”
The wrinkles on Robby’s face deepen. “What?”
“We get along, and you’re a handsome guy—“
“No,” Robby barks. “Don’t.”
“I’m just saying—“
“No!” Robby’s white face blooms with red splotches. “Don’t do that. Don’t tease me.”
“I’m not!” Jack insists. “I think we’d be good together.” He points toward the hospital, “We make a great team, and I like guys—“
“Don’t tell me that,” Robby’s voice cracks. He takes another step back, his head shaking frantically. “I don’t want to know that.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s like you’re…” Robby inhales a shaky breath. “You’re close, but out of reach, and I don’t want you getting closer when I still can’t have you.”
“But that’s what I’m saying, Mike, you can. We can; we could have a real go at this.”
Robby’s bottom lip quivers, “No.”
“Why not?” Jack can think of worse fates than waking up next to Robby every morning.
A hard sniff rings through the air. “Do you have my name?” He asks. “Or just hers?”
Instinctually, Jack’s hand raises to trace the name embedded on the back of his neck. For a lot of his life, he despised that it was impossible for him to see directly; after his soulmate died, he was grateful that it didn’t mock him every time he got dressed or looked in the mirror. Now, he wonders how often he’s turned around under the pressure of Robby’s gaze, thinking he was trying to get his attention, when really Robby was willing the writing to change to match his own.
“I know you don’t have mine,” Robby’s wet voice burns Jack’s ears. “You would’ve said something by now.”
“That doesn’t mean we can’t be together.”
“I don’t want your pity.”
“It’s not pity,” Jack reels. “I wasn’t lying before, I like you.”
“Well, I love you.” Tears shine in Robby’s eyes. “Known each other for fifteen years, Jack. You’re my soulmate. I’m past ‘like.’”
“I love you too.”
“Stop.”
“I’m not saying that I’m in it the way you are. Not yet, but I could be. I know I could. You’re a great man.”
“I don’t want my soulmate to have to learn to love me.”
“That’s not what I meant—“
“If she didn’t have your name, would you have married her?”
“That’s…” different, he wants to say. But it isn’t.
The tears streak Robby’s cheeks in a feeble path. “I’ve made my peace with the fact that I’m never going to have the real soulmate love everyone else gets. It’s not going to be any easier holding your hand,” he laughs bitterly.
“It might be,” Jack says.
“Live some fantasy, knowing you’ll never love me as much as I love you? Waking up every day knowing that, at best, I’m the second greatest love of your life?” Robby’s head shakes in a violent twitch. “Sounds like torture.”
“We could make it work.”
A cruel laugh breaks from Robby’s throat. “I’d rather be friends. Fuck. I’d rather be strangers.”
Jack fidgets uncomfortably with the tag hanging from his bag strap. He doesn’t want that. No matter what name, or lack of, is on his skin, he’ll always be grateful to have Robby in his life.
“The day I met you was the happiest day of my life,” Robby tells the sidewalk. “And then you turned around, and I found out you were married. Jesus, Jack. You have no idea. I wanted to die.”
Jack’s own eyes begin to sting with guilt.
Robby wipes his face, “It doesn’t matter.”
“It does,” Jack chokes. “Whatever I can do to help; anything you want, Mike. I swear.”
“Start by calling me Robby,” he says. All the fight has drained from his voice; only miserable acceptance remains. “Like everyone else.”
He’s gone before Jack can argue.
for all time and forever
This scene is so adorable. Benton saying he “found him that way” means that he saw Carter sleeping and went to sit with him just because. And then Mark and Doug joining and none of them trying to wake Carter up or talk to him, just keeping him company.
Robby: By the way I like hearing people call you Dr. Abbot way too much.
Jack: Robby.
Robby: I think we should incorporate it.
Jack: Absolutely fucking not.
Robby: Come on.
Jack: Robby, we are not roleplaying emergency physician and patient.
Sometimes I like my fanfics to essentially be soap opera plots, and as a result, one of my favorite tropes is amnesia.
Recently I've been thinking about Rabbot with this trope and instinctually I was thinking of Robby getting it after an accident on his bike, but I actually think there's way more potential with Jack.
Like Rabbot who have been married for 10+ years, and have recently been working through some struggles that come with Robby's deteriorating mental health and his refusal to seek professional help. Then Jack gets hurt, maybe with the SWAT team or something, and arrives at the ED.
But once he wakes up, he doesn't know anyone. He thinks it's only been a year since his wife died, and self-loathing Robby sees this as an opportunity to free Jack from him.
Jack can feel that someone is missing. There's a distinct hole in his heart where a person he loves deeply should live, but because of his amnesia, he brushes it off as reignited grief for his wife. It doesn't feel like the right answer, but it's the best he can come up with.
And no one is willing to explain where his new ring is from.
severely deficient in whatever vitamin makes u a person
i just need to get this off my chest as a day one Izzy Hands supporter and steddyhands truther— one of the most fucked parts of these first three episodes that I need to see discussed more is that Ed believes that he is incapable of being loved. Ed believes himself to be fundamentally unlovable, despite everything that Izzy has done to prove his love for him.
Izzy has quite literally dedicated his life to serving Ed, to pleasing him, to making sure that he is content. Izzy stays by him throughout his darkest times, tries to help him while he spirals, does everything he can to save Ed from his own decisions. Is it the right thing to do? Is it good for either of them? Probably not. But he does it all because he loves Edward, unconditionally. He lets Ed cut off three of his toes. Let me reiterate— Izzy allows Ed to cut off three of his toes (side note: the way that Ed so casually tells Izzy to take off his boot makes me feel crazy. Is this what he’s done every other time? And Izzy just obeys? Oh my god). Izzy’s love is a twisted, dark and obsessive type of loyalty, but it is love nonetheless and it is love that Ed has had for his entire adult life.
Ed was just so loved, no matter what he did, no matter how far he pushed, no matter how many toes he cut off. Izzy loves him, even at his very lowest. Even when he shoots him, even when he places a gun in his hands and goads him into killing him.
And just think for a second how terrible that must be. How awful must it have been to love someone so wholly that you gladly dedicate your entire life to them, only to learn that they believe themselves to be unlovable. Because if Edward is incapable of being loved, then what did Izzy’s love mean? If nobody can love Edward, then what does that make Israel Hands?
“I don’t have a best friend.” —Dr. Robby, ep 1 of the Pitt.
How would Abbot react after hearing about this? Let’s explore.
“Why am I hearing about one Dr.Robinovitch not having a best friend, huh?” Jack drawled, nudging his shoulder into Robby’s. “Care to explain?”
They were standing by the ambulance bay, taking a breath of fresh air together after stabilizing the last four patients and sending them up to the OR. It had been quite a day so far, which made Jack bring up something he had wanted to ask Robby, a lighter topic for a change.
Bemusement flashed across Robby’s face for just a second before it eased into a faint smile, the crinkles by his eyes deepened as fondness flowed through.
“I didn’t know you cared that much.” He quipped, eyes looking down the ambulance bay, always vigilant.
“Well I do, so use your words and talk to me.” Jack was well familiar with Robby’s ways of diverting a conversation with a witty remark of sorts, but he was not going to let him get away with it.
“What’s going on in that big brain of yours to think that I’m not your best friend?”
He ducked his head so that his eyes found Robby’s, those brown pupils glinting in the sunlight. The way his eyelashes fluttered made Jack’s heart swell, like tiny butterflies brushing against the most tender parts of him.
“I don’t know, Jack…that’s not what we—” Robby attempted, his hand finding the nape of his own neck, a Robby-exclusive telltale that he was struggling to talk about his feelings. Jack could practically hear the gears turning in Robby’s head, working hard to come up with something that made sense to him.
He waited. If Robby needed a few seconds to gather his thoughts, hell, he had minutes, hours, that he was willing to offer in a lifetime.
“That’s not what we are.” Another pause. “That’s not what YOU are to me.” The words coming out faster now, “You are more than a best friend to me, you know that.”
Jack felt a rush of affection upon hearing these words — proud of Robby for opening up about his feelings, moved by how genuine Robby sounded and how much weight these words carried. Something warm and soft unfurled within him, and he desperately wished that Robby could see how much he meant to him.
“But I AM your best friend.” Jack’s hand found Robby’s shoulder and gave it the lightest squeeze, then progressed to move up and down his back, soothing Robby. He could feel Robby’s frame relax into his touch, the tension leaving his body through the softest hum. A part of him wanted kiss Robby then and there, to nuzzle his head against his cheek and feel the familiar tickle of Robby’s beard. But again, they were only taking a breather outside of the ER, and an ambulance could come at any moment, bearing people in need of aid.
“I am your best friend, just like how I am your brother, your family, your partner.” Jack said, infusing his words with a bit of authority so that Robby knew to take it in without trying to fight. “I am all of them, and everything in between that you need me to be.”
He watched Robby’s face, his eyes blinking as if trying to make sense of what he just heard. But he heard it alright, Jack knew, and it went through his barriers, based on the way Robby’s eyes looked — dazed with layers of disbelief, of endearment and devotion.
Jack did a quick sweep around where they were standing, noting that the few people there were now far away enough to not pay attention to them. He leaned in and sneaked a kiss at the edge of Robby’s lips, and as quickly as the peck was, he turned on his heels and started walking towards those sliding doors leading back into the chaos.
He knew from the lack of footsteps behind him that Robby was still standing in the same spot he left him in, probably going over Jack’s words and overthinking them in every which way while trying not to look flustered by the kiss. Just as Jack had expected, no matter how often he peppered Robby with affectionate kisses, this man always acted like it was his first time being touched. Probably the reason why Jack swore to never stop.
Jack grinned at the thought of it all. They normally never show intimacy at work for obvious reasons, but then again, he decided that those words deserved a kiss for them to be sealed in and remembered. He reached into his pocket and tossed something back at Robby, betting on the fact that his person would always maintain some sort of awareness of him. And indeed, Robby caught it by reflex — a granola bar. Jack didn’t have to ask if Robby had eaten or not — he had learned early on to carry an additional snack for him at all times.
“Eat. And drink some water too.” Jack called without looking back, “And the next time someone asks who your best friend is, I’ll expect you to know the correct answer now, big guy.”
if qui gon had been anakin’s master, anakin prob wouldn’t have gone to the dark side. not necessarily bc he’d been a better master, but bc obi wan would be the cool older bro he’d sneak out w and confide in instead of the fake father figure he felt the constant need to rebel against. ‘palpatine has been asking me to spend time with him…’ ‘NEVER trust a politician. wait, hold. why the kriff is a decrepit thing like him trying to hang out w a 12 year old’ ‘I’m in love w padme. I want to get married!’ ‘u still have a rat tail’
reading problematic fanfiction but shaking my head so random tumblr user who thinks thought crimes are real knows I don't condone it in real life
they hate me for my flat facial expressions and inability to contribute to conversations
I think quite possibly my favorite line from GLaDOS in all of the media she's been in is "Federal regulations require me to inform you that this next test chamber... Is lookin' pretty good."
She sounds so smug and pleased with herself
john carter the type of guy to cum from a singular "good boy" uttered by peter benton and then get hard again immediately from the embarrassment when peter makes fun of him for cumming in his pants <3
Remember when joining fandom as a younger person meant lurking for a bit and figuring out the vibe and etiquette instead of coming in on day one and calling people weirdos for liking weirdo shit in the weirdo factory.
they should invent a body that feels normal to be inside of
hey do you mind grabbing joseph's coat for him? yeah its the red and yellow and green and brown and scarlet and black and ochre and peach and ruby and olive and violet and fawn and lilac and gold and chocolate and mauve and cream and crimson and silver and rose and azure and lemon and russet and gray and purple and white and pink and orange and blue one