NOBORU WATANABE
SHSL Kaiju Suit Designer
STATUS: Alive! ... yeah, I'm.. a kaiju fanboy, I guess. I h-hope that's not weird or anything, they're just really cool-!
Er, yeah. Name's Noboru Watanabe.
Please don't break anything...
AFFILIATED WITH DA4: RUBBLE
I’m... really bad at these sorts of posts. Sweats...
But I’m really happy I got to be in Doubt...! Even if some things were a little crazy, even if I didn’t roleplay as much as I should have... I’ve met so many wonderful people and made lots of friends! Or at least, I’d hope they consider me a friend.
AND I ACTUALLY TALK TO THEM AND KNOW THEM AND IT’S MADE ME REALLY HAPPY... I don’t want this to end, admittedly, but... this is nice.
And as DA4 ends and DA5 begins... I feel as if my desire still hasn’t wavered.
Err, that is. When I joined DA4 I wanted to spread my wings and make friends because I’m so shy and I’m a total weenie...
I-I didn’t think I’d actually get in, but I’m so glad I did.
So... I still want that. Or something. I know I’ll try my very hardest for DA5...!
BUT UH. BACK TO DA4:
uhm uhm. THANK YOU GUYS... thank you mods, thank you players... this game was a blast! ;m; I’ll never forget it. Ya’ll have had a lasting impact on my life.
...... I know it’s dumb because it’s just an rp BUT I REALLY MEAN IT. THIS WAS AN EXPERIENCE. A REALLY GOOD ONE. I’VE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY, SO ENGROSSED IN ANYTHING... Every time I think about my experiences, I feel like I could take on the world or something.
HONESTLY I WISH I COULD GO TO EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU AND JUST SAY THAT I LOVE YOU BECAUSE THAT’S HOW IMPORTANT YA’LL ARE TO ME.
But... that’d take a while and I know I’ll creep some people out, but I really do want to say: I love you guys. You guys were so cool and nice and welcoming and friendly to a loserbutt like me.
UH. YEAH............... I’ll cut this off now but.
Thank you, everyone... good luck, have a great life! I can’t wait to see ya’ll again, whether it’s me cheering you on or rping with you in Doubt or some other rp or even just on skype!
Noboru didn’t even need Monobear to say that they were right, but when he did – when the bear confirmed that he was the one behind all this…
He felt a surge of satisfaction.
It didn’t even matter that this meant what it always had meant – that is, Monobear’s confirmation sealed the fate of Nao Tamashiro. Another human being was going to die, and Noboru was fine with it. And since the masseur was the one who started this – he was the reason why everyone died. He was why Chisato got hurt in the first place. He’d put the lives of Chisato and Kezao in danger.
He’d resorted to arguing semantics. He attempted to save himself by crying out ‘coincidences’. He was reaching and it was so transparent. He was trying to worm his way out of it, push the blame onto someone else, live another week so that someone else could die.
He tried to push the blame on Kezao – and for what, a bunch of plants?
Act of cowardice and desperation or not – it was that that really set him off.
And so, Noboru didn’t actually care that the masseur was going to die. Nothing would make him regret it, except—
“I’m taking Miss Sacrificial here first!”
It was a punch in the gut. No, it hurt even more than that. It hurt back then when Noboru was condemning her, and it hurt now. It hurt that it was one of his votes that pushed toward this conclusion.
But of course he did this. He did this for a reason. He did it to protect Chisato and Kezao. They were so close – too close to fail now. With freedom and safety at their fingertips and no choice but to kill someone…
That was just how nature went, didn’t it? That was how it always went: a life for a life. That was why Noboru voted for whoever he voted for; because he’d rather have that person die than himself, than Chisato, than Kezao. He wasn’t going to allow for a tie or a random execution.
They would never be in danger again. If that meant Noboru had to be horrible, if that meant he had to become a monster, then that was fine. As long as…
Keeping his left arm around Chisato, he pulled the other one away, holding it out towards the right side of the courtroom. He didn’t say anything, instead staring into the familiar yellow eyes of his best friend. Thankfully, Kezao knew exactly what he meant by the gesture, and it wasn’t long before Kezao arrived at his side. Noboru wrapped his free arm around the other’s shoulders, pulling the chef in closer to himself and Chisato.
They were safe. They were just fine.
That was all that mattered at the very end.
(Chisato and Kezao accepted him. They trusted one another, confided in one another, loved one another. They’d made it through hell together.)
Chitose didn’t do that.
With two of the most important people in his life in his arms, the pain grew numb. It didn’t dissipate completely. There was a horrible, empty pit where all of the pain was, but…
Noboru’s eyes drifted to Chisato, who had moved in a little bit closer. And just like before, she ‘said’ something – something all too familiar, enough that didn’t really need a sound for him to get.
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
He’d live.
He was able to raise his head and look at Chitose. He was able to stare into her eyes and listen to her words as she spoke. The numbness only grew, but it was tiring. He was tired, worn down by everything that had happened, and of course… now he had to listen to Chitose’s last words.
He was numb, but he still felt it. It might not have been pain, but it was still pressure; the words weighed down upon him and it felt like he was going to fall right through the ground. But he didn’t. And while it was technically the laws of physics and basic mass and matter that kept him from sinking through the solid floor, he adamantly believed that it was the two people in his arms who supported him and kept him up.
It felt like ages, but it was done. Chitose was dragged away and the execution had begun.
And he wanted to look away, but he couldn’t. He had already accepted that he was terrible – he could look away, but…
No. At the very least… he had to do this. He’d help in killing her. He’d have to watch the consequences of his actions. He didn’t move as Chitose was lifted upward into the air. He tried not to look into her terror-filled eyes for too long, and he tried not to blink as the first object hit her. He’d tried not to think back on the mannequins in the audience, and he tried not to wonder which items were thrown by hi—no, the mannequin that was coincidentally dressed like him.
He held his breath as the flames crept up along the curtains.
But when the arrow sailed through the air and hit her squarely in the chest, Noboru took in a sharp, ragged gasp as Chitose’s silhouette exploded into flames.
“Ch-Chit—“
He had no right to speak her name.
“Haaa… a-aah…”
His throat burned and his eyes stung. The suit designer forced himself to breathe, breathe slowly, breathe fully. Relax. He focused on the warmth of Chisato and Kezao’s, focusing on the fact that they were still there and alive and breathing and fine.
But even so…
… I’m… sorry.
He wouldn’t say it out loud. It was far too late, far too silly. Noboru had essentially killed her – so why would he apologize? Did he regret it? Of course there was regret. This could have ended differently. Someone who was actually gross and guilty could have died in her stead. But it was far, far too late now.
Now, there was only one thing left.
Noboru’s green eyes locked onto the mastermind and narrowed. There was nothing more he really needed to say; now they were just waiting. There was nowhere to run, and everyone knew what was going to happen to him. It made no difference what they said or did, but Noboru couldn’t help but say it anyway, to the cause of the hell he and his loved ones were forced to go through:
COUGHS BECAUSE I ACTUALLY FORGOT TO PUBLISH THIS!!! IT WAS IN MY DRAFTS WTF SELF
♥ - What does ‘love’ mean to them?
Answered!
★ - Do they prefer daytime or nighttime and why? Also answered! Basically daytime.
✖ - Who is someone they just cannot stand?He hates Shuu, but I already wrote an essay about that… … but I’ll explain it anyway because that was a stupidly long essay. :B Basically Shuu hit two points with him: 1. Shuu was a pretentious prick. The way he spoke irked Noboru to no end because he always acted high and mighty and as if he knew better than everyone. He spoke about having a lot of resolve and being ready to die and junk – and at the first sign of danger, he pushed someone “innocent” into the line of fire. He also killed one of Noboru’s friends, so. Yeah. 2. It was pretty subtle and Noboru really did overreact, but. Shuu spoke like he looked down on humans, and that really made Noboru angry. Like, dang...
There’s also CU – he reminded Noboru of the same sorts of people who always beat him down. CU was loud, obnoxious, rude, arrogant, etc. He was a bully, and he was also a threat.
To a lesser extent there was also Haruka, though he never actually interacted with her. All he had to go on was what Kamille said, and since he’s his friend… then yeah. Of course Noboru would listen to him. But! Kamille said Haruka was a bully, and that was that. Bullies suck. That’s pretty much the quickest way for Noob to dislike someone.
So! The lesson we’ve learned from this is that Noboru despises people who hurt others for nothing. People who flaunt their power and who use it to oppress others and crush them under their foot. Not only that, he hates self-righteous people who think that they’re above everyone else and that they should have the power to decide for them – even if their intentions are still good.
… and of course there’s anyone who would manipulate and betray others for their own benefit. The same sort of person who could listen to someone’s hopes, dreams, humanity – and turn their back on that with no qualms whatsoever. (COUGHS REALLY LOUDLY.)
❄ - Favorite season and why? Noboru prefers warmer weather, though due to his tendency to wear multiple layers of clothes… summer tends to be a little too intense. take off the fucking jacket, noob As a result he prefers spring. Everything is green, it’s reasonably warm, the sun is out… etc. Fall gets an honorable mention because of his birthday though. :U Also fall colors are some of his favorite colors.
♦ - What is one thing about them that they are most proud of? Noboru really latches onto the things he’s proud of because there’s not much he actually likes about himself. Which boils down to… His whole thing with making kaiju suits. That’s not a skill that comes lightly and is for the faint of heart – mainly because it’s incredibly time consuming and also requires… quite… a bit of money. He also really tends to throw himself at his work, and the amount of detail and thought he puts into it really shows through. (Of course, that also means he doesn’t have much of a life, but eeehhhh. He never really had much of one in the first place, unless if hiding indoors and playing with toys and being on the internet counts as living a life.)
— 〆 for a childhood story
— ღ for a drabble about a romance/their love life
— ⌆ for a story about their family/home life
— € for a bad memory that still haunts them
— ✢ for a good memory that makes them smile
Or…
Send me a name/place/event or situation from my character’s past and they will just talk about that one thing.
Odin got to explore the Christmas tree while in his new outfit! He looks like a little dragon guarding its hoard!!! XD For anybody wondering the tree is fake!
horf horf„ I had a roommate do that ol reaction meme quite a while back, but she wasn’t around to do it with me so she wrote everything on a google doc which I forgot about until recently! Apparently she did eventually finish it, tho…!
Sweet! Always sweet, hell yeah. Though if you dare him to eat a few bags of sour candies then he’ll probably eat them all anyway and regret it.
♔ - Do they value loyalty?
Well, yeah! Loyalty is one of the most important things to him. He prefers trust over loyalty, but still. Loyalty ranks pretty high up there.
But… while he certainly values it… he doesn’t really expect it? He’ll be loyal and stick by his friends, but he never expects people to do the same for him. Basically Noboru understands that people have a tendency to choose the option that benefits them and their survival – they are, after all, inherently animals. He’s willing to give people the benefit of doubt because he believes that isn’t just the case, but…
At his core, he believes it’s best to proceed with caution.(Though he didn’t follow that for like half of the game. gg)
♥ - What does ‘love’ mean to them? Answered!
★ - Do they prefer daytime or nighttime and why?
Daytime!
… it’s a little telling, isn’t it? Nighttime is nice because it provides the cover of darkness and makes one feel safe. For a kid who wants to stay hidden from the eyes of the enemy and finally feel at ease and be free to do as he wishes, nighttime would be the best choice.
But it isn’t.
The night is cold. It’s scary, dark and lonely. Noboru’s enough of an emotional pissbaby to prefer daytime primarily because of the warmth it brings. He vastly prefers warmer colors over cooler ones, even if he chooses not to wear them because they make him stick out more.
Additionally, the night is still unknown. Maybe it’s not so bad when he’s familiar with the area, but there’s still the fact that there’s a possibility of something hiding in the dark. In the sunlight he’s at least in the know of things. He can see what’s coming and he can plan accordingly, etc etc.
☾- Are they prone to nightmares or dreamless sleep?
Nightmares! They occur fairly often, but as a whole Noboru remembers a lot of his dreams.
It wasn’t as bad predespair, but then again… predespair was a simpler time.
Postdespair offered up a wide variety of fun nightmares. Even if things didn’t really happen to Noboru, he still had dreams about his friends getting hurt, about meeting the same sorts of fate that the dead kids met, the freezer ordeal… etc.
Uh… at least he hasn’t had much sleep in-game? :’)
♫ - What kind of music do they enjoy?
He listens to like… anime songs lmao Anything that’s uplifting and ~*inspirational*~ sounding. Not necessarily upbeat, but he can totally work with that, too.
… probably some other stuff but I forget.
✓ - How do they react to praise?
Shock, then he’ll deny it and just convince himself that people are praising him just to be polite.
He’ll deny it vocally, too, and try to pass the praise off to the other person. If they’re adamant about praising him for whatever reason, he’ll just… meekly accept it. He won’t actually internalize it, and instead he’ll be suspicious of their insistence.
Comparing him to a hero or praising something he actually takes pride in will make him go dokidoki and just be like ‘t-thank you…’ and that’s pretty much it BUT HE’S PROBABLY SCREAMING INTERNALLY SO.
AND YOU PEOPLE THOUGHT I WASN'T GOING TO DO THESE. HAH.
♥ - What does ‘love’ mean to them?
He has like… two meanings.
First and foremost, ‘love’ basically means… something very, very bad. It’s… a deep emotional connection, and that basically screams emotional vulnerability. It’s basically handing someone the key to your room, which is a pretty big deal because they can essentially do whatever the fuck they want with it. They can steal your stuff or even kill you. Basically ‘love’ implies a connection and a high enough level of trust that basically gives the other person the power to destroy you. So, uh. Yeah. Fun stuff for all.
Though! I should probably mention: Noboru isn’t too clear on the concept of ‘love’, either. Getting past all the stuff said previously about love being Scary and probably a Very Bad Thing, if you were to ask him what it really meant to him, his answer really would just be a lame and simple one.
And that would be that love is when you unconditionally care for someone else and accept them for who they are, including flaws and criminal records and misconducts. Mutual understanding and respect, etc. That’s… basically what he believes love should be.
… also he’d probably associate it with stereotypically romantic things even if there is such a thing as platonic love. He’s just been led to believe that ‘love’ is mostly a romantic thing because anyone who actually attains all of the above would be seen as ‘’’The One’’’. (Partially because of media portrayal, but primarily because he’s afraid of accepting that loving more than one person means to accept that he’s giving the key to multiple people, leading to more chances to screw him over and get him betrayed.) (…….. I’m bad at explaining it but basically he is a pissbaby.)
That’s another reason why he’s scared of it – he doesn’t really… know… how to romance. All he has are shoujo manga and movies. :’c ♠- What are they afraid of?
Noboru’s afraid of a lot of things lmao.
There’s the obvious one of being hated by everyone. Noboru’s first thought after killing a man was basically “oh no what if people don’t like me because I killed someone :’c” as opposed to “oh god I took a human life”. That should say enough. (Then it changed in-game, and by the end his priorities narrowed down to Chisato and Kezao. The world could hate him and he wouldn’t care anymore – what matters to him are those two.)
I guess another thing he’s afraid of is actually being betrayed.
For all his talk about how he knows he’s going to be manipulated and betrayed in the end because that’s all he’s really good for, it’s still completely frightening to him. Of course there’s a difference between the levels of fear when he’s with someone he hardly knows and someone he’s gotten attached to.
♥ - What does ‘love’ mean to them?
♠ - What are they afraid of?
♦ - What is one thing about them that they are most proud of?
♣ - What is one thing that they find embarrassing? (About them, others, things in general)
★ - Do they prefer daytime or nighttime and why?
☾- Are they prone to nightmares or dreamless sleep?
☼ - Something that/Someone who makes them happy.
☁ - If they’re caught out in the rain how do they react?
♪ - Are they musically inclined?
♫ - What kind of music do they enjoy?
✓ - How do they react to praise?
✕ - How do they handle rejection?
☺ - Do they prefer sour or sweet treats?
❄ - Favorite season and why?
☮ - Do they have an idol or someone they look up to?
❤ - Do they have a love interest?
✖ - Who is someone they just cannot stand?
♔ - Do they value loyalty?
♕ - Do they trust easily?
"Why is Noboru Watanabe such a train wreck?" The Movie, Part II.
So! This is actually a direct continuation of the previous backstory segment. The tl;dr is in this post! Just… at the very end, so feel free to skip!
I always liked to joke that Noboru killing a man is only like… a fourth of his secret. It’s definitely something he wants to keep hidden and it’s ~*totally unexpected! woah!*~, but that’s far from the interesting part of the secret – or at least it was to me. Unfortunately, him killing a man is… what gets told, I guess? It’s the outside. I tell you that Noboru’s secret is that he killed a man, and you say ok.
And then I say, “but”, because him killing a man isn’t really the focus on his ‘secret’, so that’s why I’d only consider it a fourth. We’ll… go over that into detail when it comes along but bear with me…
AND THEN HE SNAPPED AND KILLED A MAN.
A week or so later, Noboru tracked him down and confronted him. Miraculously enough, he didn’t want to kill him! Woah! Yeah. Noboru might be angry and he might have fantasized about killing all those who ~*wronged him*~, but taking another human life was a bit extreme.
Regardless, his plan was to catch the guy while he was alone, brandish a knife, and hopefully scare him off for good. The idea was to show that Noboru Watanabe was Strong!! And that he’d fight back!! But the bully didn’t take the bait. He just laughed in his face and told him all the gross, horrible things he was going to do to his sister tomorrow.
So… Noboru panicked. He panicked, grew enraged, and just snapped. Then he stabbed the guy a lot until he died. He saw all the blood and just… ran.
Now then!
He might have felt a little guilty, but it was easy to numb the guilt. After all… could someone who attacked an innocent middle student be considered human? Nah. He was just an uncontrollable animal, and now he was dead. That made everything easier for Noboru, really, because then he wouldn’t feel too bad about how great it felt to kill him. Noboru got his revenge! He was able to take someone like that down! He really was strong! And it was thrilling.
Buuuut Noboru had enough self-awareness to realize that was fucked up. He had committed murder. He’d go to jail if he was caught. Hell, since he didn’t feel bad about it… then he’d be labeled as a psychopath! He’d be put in prison for the rest of his life! His parents would be ashamed and terrified of him, and Chiyo… she’d be upset. That was what made this Noboru’s little ‘secret’. He didn’t want anyone to find out about this or about his mentality during it. He didn’t want to get in trouble and be ousted even more.
Still… he told Chiyo. He felt she had a right to know, since he basically killed for her.
And she forgave him. Rather, she saw how he was frazzled and scared and nervous and just reassured him that it was fine! He did it to protect her, right? So he was kind of like a hero! There was no other choice, right? Right? Of course!
He pretty much clung to her words like a lifeline, essentially. He had to be a hero – heroes were good, after all. Maybe he wasn’t trying to be a hero in specific, but Noboru basically took all of the ideas presented with tokusatsu protagonists and tried to incorporate them into his morals. Which is, to say, his morals are fucked up and overly exaggerated and just… doesn’t work? He tries to act in accordance to them, shoving what he really believes deep, deep down inside.
Ah… it’s a little weird to describe, isn’t it?
Imagine trying to stretch yourself out to grasp at something far away. You can extend your arm out towards it just find, but then you really try to reach for it. You’re not allowed to move at all, so you have to strain your arm to try to reach out further. Eventually your arm gets tired, or it might start to cramp and hurt.
(Actually, the rubber band metaphor used back when Noboru Unleashed on Shuu is also really, really good.)
(The point is: it doesn't work.)
That’s basically Noboru. He tried to be overly good to mask how “terrible” he is. To do so, he tried to hide it all under everything. That… also meant not killing/hurting anyone. He wouldn’t even think about predators or prey or anything like that – because he felt that once he started doing so, he’d start to dehumanize people, just like how he did with the dude he killed before. And that was very bad.
(Keep in mind Noboru’s in a panicky state about all of this. He… wouldn’t really just start to think everyone’s a bunch of animals if he started thinking about that, but he’s an overly dramatic, emotional idiot. Always has been, and always will be.)
Noboru took it to extremes by acting the complete opposite of how he would have acted normally. I mean ‘vanilla’ Noboru wasn’t actually bad – he was just cautious and wary of people, and it took a while to trust them. While he would have liked to give people the benefit of doubt, it was best to proceed with caution, knowing that people weren’t always what they seemed.
… so Noboru went the opposite. He’d always believe in people, he’d always think that they’re all great people and he went through great lengths to actually justify as such. I… wasn’t actually expecting him to put up such a fight (he was already sort of on the verge of finally cracking around trial 3), but it turned out that the first few murders were all pretty easy to justify under the pretense that they were all ‘forced’ to kill under the motive – and that is true, to a degree. He’d also go ahead and do the dumbest shit, too, like place all of his trust in people even if that was far from the most logical thing to do. Since ‘vanilla’ Noboru normally thought pretty logically and in terms of survival… yeah. Hopefully you get the picture.
Not only that, but… he also wanted to be liked. If people found out that he had killed someone and that he was a sicko who actually enjoyed it… people would just hate him more.
And… he just went so far that it was actually pretty unhealthy, I think. At the very least, if he wanted to change he probably shouldn’t have tried to do it (or, well, maintain it) during such a high-stress time like the mutual killing game, but even then… Noboru tried to basically change himself completely, and he did so by purposely doing self-destructive things. It… put a lot of stress on him. I’m terrible at writing it, but he’d constantly be internally struggling because he wants to say and do X but… deep, deep down inside, he knows that’s the stupidest idea and will probably get him killed.
And he does it anyway, and then he beats himself up for it, and then he keeps on doing it… and so on.
Want an example? Basically the way he threw himself at Chisato. He… was ready to die for her, tbh. He was going to trust in her 100%.
(But… we learned that’s actually false, but Noboru never really came to that realization until trial… 5, I think? Trial 4 was when he finally started to snap out of it. In trial 6 he finally snaps because he… can’t do the ‘good’ thing and forgive Shuu. Shuu actually struck a lot of nerves with him, so he just… exploded.)
So… yeah. A lot of mental stress. Pair that up with how he had little to no sleep (Night Watch patrols, then the constant nightmares after trial 5 and 6...) and how he kept getting hit in the head… aaaaand yeah! Now I’m not saying anything’s wrong with him now, but… Hmmmm!
Funny enough, while his ‘mask’ made him very weak (in the sense that he wouldn’t fight back if murdered [or even use his strength!], so he’d constantly say he deserved to die because someone that doesn’t fight back doesn’t deserve to live) and he constantly beat himself up over it… it actually worked in his favor for the same reason. People either liked him, thought he was an alright kid, were neutral, or they thought he was just “too pathetic to kill”. That’s actually what Chisato thought in their week 3 private thread. Isn’t young love great?
(Though, there were a very few amount of times at the beginning where you could see that Noboru wasn’t the weenie he acted like. It was during these times – usually only lasting for a few seconds – where Noboru would actually act… differently? It was normally just inner monologue, but Noboru’s thought process would take a sharp turn and suddenly he’d actually seem uncharacteristically threatening… but then he’d correct himself immediately afterwards!)
(But it really was only a handful of times it happened before trial 4~5 came around.)
Actually, on that parentheses’d note:
Noboru acting like a “””hero””” was always destined to fail. He was never meant to be the ‘adorably shy, scared, timid babu’ that he was at the beginning of the game. He was already slipping at the beginning of the mutual killing game, though this didn’t manifest itself in the ways that I just mentioned. Rather… just think about it like this:
If he truly believed that everyone was good and innocent, then why was he always so afraid of everyone at the very beginning? Why did he always get really nervous whenever someone even got closer to him, or even tried to touch him? Why was he so afraid around people (especially girls)?
Even if he didn’t show his true colors until later on, it’s evident that the act was just an act (and a pretty bad one at that) from the very beginning. He had always expected to get hurt, manipulated, backstabbed, etc. He might have thought of it and tried to ignore said thoughts, but the truth is Noboru never really believed that everyone was as good as he forced himself to think, even though it was on some deeper level than just thought. I mean, at that point it was pretty much reflex for him to jump away if anyone got too close, and… yeah. Stuff like that. Just some food for thought.
Anyway, as for what happened after he told Chiyo and she forgave him… things actually did clear up a bit – the news hardly covered the death of a bully (he was just a delinquent that wandered the streets often and got into fights; nobody really cared about him), though his friends thought differently. Since half of them actually suspected Noboru, they kind of… backed off for a bit. The dude did kind of get stabbed a lot, after all.
So! Anyway… yeah. Not too long after that he got into Hope’s Peak… and then the mutual killing game!
Now, I know that Noboru killed a dude and enjoyed it and he would totally do it again if he had the chance…
Noboru doesn’t reeeeaaaally want to kill people. He killed that bully because he was a piece of shit and hurt him and his sister. He would have killed all the others for the same reason. Even if it was a horrible, shitty reason like revenge (and he does tend to hold grudges, too, oops…), he still had a reason – and a powerful one, at that.
(Though if I have to be honest: “reasons” come pretty easy to Noboru. He got so incredibly protective over Kezao and Chisato that anyone who might have even snorted in their direction would have been on his ‘threat’ list. He never stopped being panicky, even if he wasn’t a quivering, sobbing mess like he was early-game. Noboru was always teetering over the edge, and this was shown with how he kept worrying Chitose would hurt Kezao even if she never really… said anything about it?)
(And on a much, much darker note… as someone who bottled everything up for years, it’s very possible for Noboru to burst! But… what’s more likely is that Noboru would just take whatever reason he can get to kill someone so that he could vent his frustrations out on them. He normally tries to keep his kills as quick and painless as possible if they’re a neutral party, but once he gets a good enough reason to dislike them…)
(That’s when the murders become a lot scarier. :’) )
(As a slight interjection here: Noboru has serious abandonment issues. I’m astonished they never came up because neither Chisato nor Kezao ever died… and Chisato actually made up with him, lmao. If she hadn’t he would have followed her around like a lost puppy and freak out and… yeah.
THAT WOULD HAVE CHANGED THINGS A LOT, PROBABLY…)
So, yeah. Even if he wasn’t trying to cover up how “bad” he was, he wouldn’t have killed anyone. Even if he actually liked the feeling of taking down someone that looked stronger than he was, he wouldn’t have done it without a good reason.
(That’s why he never went for Kaito even though the dude fits the bill pretty well.)
OF COURSE THE MUTUAL KILLING GAME CHANGED ALL OF THAT LMAO…
Things were going relatively steady (… well, he was still getting worse but it wasn’t nearly as bad) until trial 4, where he finally took enough of a hit that his perspective of the entire class began to change. He did… decently at recovering from that, but then trial 5 happened and that messed him up a lot.
Trial 6 was when he started hating everyone. As needlessly dramatic as the question “are you humans or animals” question was, it was pretty important to him! He saw how people were just changing their votes to Hiyoko (and supported Shuu) without a word (even though he disliked CU, he was actually safe – he had his reasons), so he assume they were all being sheep and just followed what he said without much question. That… made him dislike pretty much the entire class.
Either people remained completely silent or were like ‘NAH WE’RE ALL ALREADY HORRIBLE’ and pretty much admitted they were animals (… well really it was just Chitose; CU did it in his inner monologue so that never counted, but the hit was still there.)
Mayumi was the only person who was like ‘we’re humans!!!!’ and that was why he still kind of liked her! Or at least, that’s why he was actually kind of sad about her death.
Speaking of which, her death was like some weird, movie scripted-level of symbolism. The one person who still believed in them was killed… and later on it was revealed that she was killed by revenge. Nice. Nice. While he was annoyed at how the entire murder/trial was handled, he never really disliked Airi for it. His attitude towards her was pretty much “*EXTREMELY LONG AND EXAGGERATED SIGHING* airi pls if u wanted to kill shuu u shuuld (hehehhEHEHEHHHHH) hav come 2 me gurl I kno evrybody’s weaknesses bruh”.
(And it was true. He discovered the archives the week the tunnels were released, and it was pretty much at that time that he came up with his hit list. CU was, of course, at the top.)
So basically, Noboru got less and less “good” as time went on! He toughened up, basically.
Also… it was really interesting how Noboru landed himself in the game that didn’t have people who were really outright nasty? Like… I expected one or two loud assholes, but… nope! Our crew was pretty chill, and this had very interesting effects on Noboru.
He didn’t have anyone to keep him down, and it would have been very easy to crush him if someone had taken advantage of how vulnerable he was at the beginning (he woke up surrounded by other students. :B his weakness had been Activated and that made everything worse LMAO). While the lack of people hurting him prevented him from going ballistic and killing people, it also allowed him to... take root, I guess? He was finally able to sit up and look around and he realized that nobody was actually going to hurt him. And yeah, it was nice!
But on a darker note, that also made him think that maybe people weren’t as threatening as he’d thought… or at the very least, they were at his level. This changed pretty quickly as people were revealed to be okay with killing should a good enough motive come up, and while that was certainly distressing… he had enough time and breathing space to adjust accordingly.
(Then he saw the archives and felt powerful all over again. Nice.)
I dunno! It’s just interesting to think about.
BUT UH… YEAH. THIS SHIT IS GETTING REALLY LONG SO… I’ll just. Cut it off here… And now here’s the summary you’ve all been waiting for! If you read everything… then, uh. Wow. Thanks, but you really should rethink your life choices.
Tl;dr: Noboru got bullied a lot, which made him very angry and frustrated – and then as things went on, he grew fearful of people and got pretty depressed and essentially had a Friendless Background, with his only friend being his little sister, Chiyo. At some point during his life his dad sent him off to America (for all the wrong reasons), which Noboru hated initially, but he grew to like it because he was finally given A Break. He also learned a lot of shit including how to hunt, so ayyy. B) It gave him enough confidence in himself to continue (he… probably would have had a Bad End if he didn’t), and… yeah. He sort of got along alright until some dudes decided they wanted to try to break them, so they attacked his sister.
Then Noboru snapped and killed a man and his reaction was basically, “bastard deserved it! Killing him was great! 10/10 would totally do it again. no regrets lmao yolo.”
Then he stopped and realized that was fucked up beyond all reason and if people found out he was a sick fuck that liked killing dudes (even if it was justified), then they’d hate him even more and then he’d go to jail. He was terrified of that.
So he tried to act like an overly good person to cover up how awful he was. And then the mutual killing game happened and that fell apart pretty spectacularly. That’s all!
(Basically I… wanted a Normal Kid who had done something Outrageously Bad and didn’t know how to react to it so they turned into a Shonen Protagonist or some shit. I have no idea tbh. Noboru turned out to be much darker than his app implied, rip. Can’t explain everything with bullet points, gomen… ;; NOW I KNOW THO.)
(Man though Noboru was an insane character to write and I don’t think I did him complete justice because there was SO MUCH going on with him that I didn’t even realize until later and oh gosh what a ride.)
“Why is Noboru Watanabe such a train wreck?” The Movie, Part I.
SO. I wrote up this huge analysis on Noboru’s character and explained why he’s trash and blah blah, but. To do that I needed to actually explain his backstory and the effects it had on him, because that’s ultimately what drove him to do the things he did.
And then I wrote too much and it was a very long post, so… I decided to split it into two: the backstory segment (this one) and the Segment That Is Actually Interesting. Feel free to read my horrible, messy writing as I struggle to explain every detail of his life.
Feel free to skip all of this bullshit! The tl;dr is in the next post. I'll add links and shit in a second. Please excuse any typos and mistakes; this was just... way too much for me to proofread.
If you do read it, though… tell me so I can punch you in the face. Stop reading essays on trashboru. >:C
OH WAIT WAIT WAIT TRIGGER WARNINGS RIGHT.
I'm awful at these but basically! Uhm...
(tw: suicide mention, or just... suicide in general, really; abuse... yeah. If you don't like even the slightest mention of animals getting killed then, uh... that's also in here. But only a little.)
So, from the beginning:
If you didn’t know, Noboru had serious issues with bullying. Like, it was really bad. And he had to deal with it throughout his life, and it made it pretty shitty. To the point where Noboru actually would say that the mutual killing game was probably the best part of his life so far, even with everyone dying.
Yeah.
The young and incredibly impressionable Noboru Watanabe was surrounded by tons and tons of movies, shows, manga, comics, etc. from very early on. He took to liking fantasy stories with monsters and heroes and all those sorts of things almost immediately, and so he really got into them. We’ve all joked about it in the chat and I’ve made references to it in his posts, but he was always an eccentric kid that’d run around and growl and roar and probably bite (read: nibble on) people and he’d pretend to be a monster or he’d try to be all hero-like and shit. He was never really disruptive or anything, but in the eyes of a bunch of other kids his age, he was considered weird. So they decided to pick on the weird kid! For absolutely no reason!
And that fucked him up a lot, lemme tell ya.
Noboru didn’t really know what he did wrong… and he didn’t really do anything wrong, either! He was just a kid that liked doing the things he liked to do, so when all these other kids started picking on him, he was very confused at first. Of course he tried to be friends with them! Kid Noboru was actually pretty outgoing and fun and nice.
But that obviously didn’t work. They just kept laughing at him and bullied him even more, thinking he was a huge sucker! And he was. Noboru isn’t a violent person by nature, so he never really tried fighting back. If anything… he thought the fault was with him. He wasn’t sure what he did, but there must have been a good reason why they were hurting him, right? Right. He tried to go to his dad for advice on that, but his dad was just like, “just go fight back or something. stand up for yourself.”
Worst advice ever. Noboru didn’t want to fight them, but he did try to stand up and confront them. He wanted to have a talk with them to understand why they targeted him, but that went south. Basically they pretty much listed out every single detail about Noboru (including flaws and things that weren’t even flaws, like his hair color) as they kicked him around and beat him into the ground even worse than they ever did before.
Since they essentially said the fault was with him, Noboru tried very hard to not seem ‘weird’ by not doing anything at all. He stayed quiet and respectful and was pretty much completely unresponsive outside of his home. Unfortunately in social settings like school where students often mingle and form groups and interact with one another, someone who was perfectly quiet and awkward and isolated from everyone else was weird. It was basically just a hole that kept digging itself and resulted in Noboru going completely friendless. Nice!
He tried to be optimistic and hoped that the bullies would get bored and move on or that someone would stand up for him… but it never happened. So… eventually… that optimism fizzled out and was replaced with anger, and that’s how he really started getting into monsters.
Because as he accumulated and bottled up all of his anger and frustration, he began to appreciate how strong monsters were. He wanted to be able to breathe fire on his enemies and eat them! Maybe then they’d just leave him alone! If he was a monster, he could fight back! Alas… he wasn’t. So he grew frustrated with his weakness and inability to do anything as a result.
The only saving grace was his little sister, Chiyo!
Three years younger than him, Chiyo was still really tiny when all the bullying went on in elementary school. Since it fucking sucks, he swore to himself that he’d be the best big bro ever and that Chiyo wouldn’t have to go through all the bullshit he did. He’d make sure she’d be happy and that she’d always have a friend, though in all honesty… Noboru needed her more than she needed him. Even when he was sure that everyone hated him and even when he was at how unfair everything was, he still craved friendship.
So he practically clung to Chiyo. He got her into tokusatsu and the two bonded over it, etc. She ended up liking a lot of the things that he did, though she had a love for heroes (as opposed to his love for monsters). She actually never had any issues with bullying when she got into school, so she wasn’t nearly as dependent on Noboru as he is with her, but they love each other all the same. It’s pretty heartwarming.
Over time, though, Noboru got worse.
It’s important to note that the bullies didn’t actually want to get caught (obviously), so they tried hard to make sure that it wasn’t too obvious. Yeah, they hurt Noboru pretty badly, but they always made sure that any wounds that were inflicted were done in areas that wouldn’t be seen normally, like his face or his arms.
(And while it was 100% private: basically it was during the trial 5 strip check that it was revealed that Noboru had scars! There were plenty of them, but they were all mostly concentrated on his torso, back, abdomen, etc – his arms were actually clean, for the most part.)
(He never took off his pants tho because that is Indecent. >:c)
Not wanting to be seen as weak (as per his dad’s words + the increasing pressure on him being “””manly””” [thanks dad!]), Noboru also kept quiet. This was much easier early on because it was just bullies kicking and hitting him with sticks and nothing dangerous was ever involved! So only ever resulted in bruises. Bruises are easy to hide and explain. But then they got worse to the point where Noboru would get cut up pretty badly and bleed everywhere and he’d have to discard his clothes because they got bloody (he couldn’t just randomly do laundry… his parents would question it) and treat his own wounds, which was often difficult. So eventually Chiyo found out! She wasn’t happy, but she was able to help him out with that, at least…
(Fun fact, since this the backstory segment: Noboru had a jacket just like the one he wears now, but it’s not the same jacket. The original one was ruined as per the above: Noboru often wore jackets and hoodies and other layers of clothing because over time it made him feel safe and it helped cover up his wounds while they were still healing, and his big ol’ fur-lined jacket was his absolute favorite. Unfortunately for him, it was cut up pretty badly and covered in blood and he had to burn it because there was no way he’d be able to get the bloodstains out by handwashing it. And he wouldn’t be able to explain the tears, either.
This was seriously upsetting. The loss of his favorite safely blanket hit him hard, and Chiyo actually noticed. So… she went out and bought him the exact same jacket, and that’s what he’s wearing now! It’s also why he refuses to take it off, though towards the end of the mutual killing game he actually started to remove his jacket around Chisato and Kezao [he didn’t have it on when he cuddled with Chisato, so. Yeah] and it’s presumed that he… will hopefully eventually stop relying on it so much.
Yeah. Intermission over!)
SO! Noboru Watanabe had a Rough Life, but he did get a break! Sort of.
So while all of that was going on, once Noboru hit twelve, his dad decided that enough was enough. His son was a wimp. By that point Noboru had grown wary (even scared) of people. He seemed much more nervous, quieter, etc. He didn’t have any friends, his grades sucked, and he was a total nerd that just kind of stayed inside all day playing with his silly toy dinosaurs and watching kid’s shows.
So Daisuke Watanabe gave his son the “you’re a man” spiel and shipped him off to America. The idea here was that Noboru would spend time with his extremely manly, stereotypically American, rowdy uncle a few times a year, for a few weeks. He was a self-proclaimed “self-made man” and was the kind of guy to do manly things out in the wilderness. It was fucking ridiculous and Noboru hated it. He hated everything. He just wanted to go back home and shut himself in his room and watch toku with his sister.
(And indeed, Noboru was pissed. His dad did just force him out of the house because he mistook his son’s depression for just not being “””manly””” or whatever. He had good intentions, but jesus christ…)
But! Despite how negative he might have felt towards it, it was actually nice! Spending time away from his home did actually do some good on his psyche. He was able to go camping and hiking and later on he also learned how to shoot and hunt! He got an interest in animals and plants and was able to experience things he wasn’t able to back in Japan… and he changed. As he learned about how nature worked, he began to see the world differently. Everything made sense if you saw things in terms of predator and prey; strong and weak.
He was picked on because he was weak and there was nothing he could do about it because a prey animal was still a prey animal no matter what – it couldn’t change its nature. He refused to accept that. He couldn’t. He might have hated himself, but saying that he was always going to be like that was… depressing and awful and he hated it.
And then he learned how to hunt at the blatantly illegal age of 15~16ish. His uncle never really cared for gun laws… and since he lived far out in the country and close to the wilderness and owned a ranch, it wasn’t like they were being watched, so…! Screw the rules!
And so Noboru got pretty good at hunting. It was good for him because he actually got a bit of much needed confidence in himself. He only had hunting and his kaiju suits, after all, and around that time he had really only started making kaiju suits (his success with them was actually thanks to the time he spent out in the wilderness observing animals – he was able to take his real life experiences and observations and translate them into his works, which made for some really good, really realistic suits) so… yeah. Unfortunately for his dad, his son still remained a withdrawn, shy nerd, but… the changes were there, just internal.
Not only that, but… it made him feel strong. It made him feel like he could do things. He didn’t have to be physically strong to fight back – there were other ways of being strong, and so he wasn’t weak.
His confidence didn’t develop in one trip. It was a gradual process, steadily increasing with each trip to the Americas – and he only ever visited around four times a year, at max, so… he still had to deal with getting beaten down in between those visits. He kept himself together by just repeating to himself that he was strong, and that he wasn’t prey. He wasn’t just a weakling to be written off forever, and one day he’d be able to fight back – he just had to wait, much like he always had to sit still and observe his prey.
That was how Noboru was able to continue, even if barely. It was still depressing how his “strength” vanished as soon as he exited the forest; it wasn’t like he could obtain a gun in Japan, after all…
But yeah! He pressed on and worked on his kaiju suits and basically all of that went on for a while. Things didn’t pick up until high school, though. The bullying got more intense, and when it became evident that physical beatings didn’t do much to Noboru anymore (he’d gone quiet and unresponsive – the bit of confidence he got from his hunting + slowly rising success with his kaiju + Chiyo existing were the only things that actually kept him from killing himself, but aside from that he just grew used to it and he just fell into apathy at that point) they decided to take a crack at hurting him in other ways.
So at this point Noboru was pretty messed up. Friendless, awful at socializing, scared of people, eternally angry inside… but despite all of that he still wanted friends. No matter what, Noboru had always craved being close with other people. He wanted the companionship and the happiness that came with it. He wanted someone to maybe even understand him. Someone who didn’t think he was weird or hated him…
So! They decided to take advantage of that. They wanted to see how much the weak, frazzled-looking boy could take before he finally broke.
… I could explain in detail what went down, but to make a long story short: they used Nooby’s thirst to lure him away from his sister (one of the girls in their group pretended to be interested in Noboru… and yes, it was romantic. He was crushing hard on her, bruh…) and then attacked Chiyo and seriously hurt her. They also fucked him up, too, but that’s nothing new. Then Noboru found his sister beaten up and abandoned on the sidewalk.
AND THEN HE SNAPPED AND KILLED A MAN.
(What a cliffhanger, eh? The next part continues the backstory but honestly there’s not much after this, so it’s mostly analysis.)
Oh, so I'll never post his app, but here are Noboru's items! I think all but his #8 made an appearance!
1.) Friendship Bracelet: A very cute bracelet from a little sis to her big bro. It’s been made with a lot of love and care. One of the adornments has ‘NW’ carved on it. (idk who exactly got this... might have been Haruka...? RECLAIMED ANYWAYS.)
2.) Old iPod: A tiny little thing, already packed to the brim with songs. You can tell each and every song was chosen with careful consideration. A listen through the iPod reveals that every song, no matter what the language, beat, or overall tone is; makes you feel like you can do anything. Strangely enough, there’s no name for the owner. (Also rolled by Noboru!)
3.) Monster Makeup Kit: Complete with fake flesh, lots of paint, and weird goopy stuff to give things that icky, gross-looking texture that everyone loves! In the right hands, it can be used to dominate any costume party… (I think Noboru actually rolled this one.)
4.) Space Godzilla Figurine: A mini space Godzilla that fits in your palm! He even roars and the crystals on his back glow! Does not include laser-beam or flight functionality. (Chitose! Reclaimed.)
5.) Wolverine Claws: Hard, plastic, and low-quality gloves with flimsy and easily breakable claws. Still, it makes you feel kind of cool and also gives you an excuse to call everyone “bub”. (Tae-Hyun. They really hit the jackpot, lemme tell ya. I'm so happy. ;w;)
6.) LIQUID LATEX: You can make anything with this! (Mickey got it BUT SHE NEVER GAVE IT BACK... SMH...)
7.) Sketchpad: A spiral-bound sketchpad for all your drawing needs! … hey, wait, someone already used this! There are doodles of strange creatures inside. (Naohiro got it! Reclaimed.)
8.) Seasoning Kit: Woah! There’s a bunch of different kinds of seasoning here! Most of these you haven’t even heard of. You can probably use this to make some fantastic ramen.
9.) Cardboard Box: It’s a cardboard box. Why is this even here? (I think it was Tae-Hyun who got this...)
10.) Box o’ Bandaids: They have Scooby-Doo on them! Perfect for sore fingers with cuts or burns on them. (SHOWED UP ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WALL????? W HY)
