
pixel skylines
Stranger Things

bliss lane

tannertan36
TVSTRANGERTHINGS

oozey mess
Mike Driver
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EXPECTATIONS

Andulka

Kiana Khansmith
macklin celebrini has autism
Fai_Ryy
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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almost home

@theartofmadeline
art blog(derogatory)
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Sade Olutola

seen from Morocco
seen from Morocco

seen from Morocco
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seen from United States
seen from United States
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seen from United States
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@shslastronaut
Cosmic love.
☾ ☆ ☆ [AKI-CHAN] - You're not a waste of space
Akimitsu turned his back to Karin, allowing her to climb the ladder fully before even attempting to do so himself; she was wearing a skirt, after all. He took in a small breath, and half-heartedly ran a finger over his clips, thinking over that morning and the evening before. He would have liked to say he felt completely numb, unable to comprehend any further emotion that may come to him, but there was a tight, small buzzzing in the back of his skull that just wouldn’t leave. A small reminder of what he couldn’t escape, the white-hot flare of memories trapped within him without the hope of being extinguished.
When Karin fully climbed the ladder, Akimitsu finally turned and looked at the task before him. It was… Very high up. Higher than when he and Ai stood on the roof together, even; and, on top of that, he had never climbed a ladder before. He had seen it done in movies, where the hero would climb up the side of an ivy fence, scaling the wall to get to his beloved’s window, where they would be rewarded with sweet words and perhaps, a lock of their lover’s hair. How hard could it be? Well, he had two options; he could either simply ask if Karin sees anything, perhaps civilization, or he could climb up there himself. He knew what option the old him would have chosen, afraid to get in the way of others or even harming himself, but… Now, he knew he had no choice but the latter option. "Latter… Ladder… Ha." Clearing his throat, Akimitsu tucked the curve of his cane over the crook of his arm, hoping it would continue to hang there for the remaining of his ascent up the side of the tower. He lightly took the bar closest to his reach in his hands, awkwardly wrapping his long, thin fingers around it, before taking in another breath, and placing his bad foot on the bottom most bar. It took a while to understand the rhythm of climbing, but he found that if he pulled most of his weight with his arms, the added pressure onto his left foot wasn’t as detrimental as he had envisioned. He didn’t climb it as quickly as Karin did by any measure, but after a few minutes, he finally was pulling himself onto the metal platform. Despite their situation and their self-proclaimed mission, Akimitsu couldn’t help but to grin with pride. If his brothers could see him now, climbing up things like any other teenager. Akimitsu stood, still grinning, and took residence beside Karin. He followed her line of vision, and then, all at once, his smile faded. "What— What is—" Were those… More of those bears? Scattered about, as if they had been destroyed and splayed across the ground. And in the distance… What sort of havoc had been unleashed on the world in this month they were locked up in here? What country were they in, where were their families? And why, why were they locked up in here in the first place? "Is this… Is this why no one’s come and saved us? Because there were more of those bears, guarding—" He felt dizzy, and clasped a hand over his heart, eyes wide and focused on the scene before him. Hoping to escape seemed futile now— even if they were able to leave somehow, if there were more of those machines out there, then they could just bring them right back, or worse, end their lives right there. This was much larger than a psycho kidnapping a bunch of teenagers for their own amusement, this was a well thought-out plan to contain them within here, away from anyone that could save them, and if someone tried, they would have been met with those bears. "Kari-chan… Kari-chan? Do you see anything with the binoculars that could indicate as to where we are?"
Tilting her head at the sight of Akimitsu climbing the ladder, she looked back up, waiting for him to arrive at the tower. Slowly but surely, he was by her side again, taking in the same sights she was. Her expression faltered as soon as his smile dropped, she looked over in the direction he was looking at-- she realized she had not been looking out that far.
"...Bears." She let out a hushed whisper, as it saying it would make everything feel more real. Karin couldn't believe what she was seeing, several shaped things like Monobear were laid out in the ground near the wall that separated them from the world. "Wh..What in.." Quickly, she lifted up the pair of binoculars in her hand to see further away from the wall. Karin felt sick to her stomach once she could see more out, chopped down trees, a destroyed forest. She squinted, her eyes trailing from the forest and the smoke drifting in the air. "..What is that?"
Her face paled as she realized what that could have been, "..I...I see a forest, destroyed to every last bit..and.." She took the binoculars away from her eyes, trying to focus as she made eye contact with Akimitsu. "..I think I see a town." No, there was a better way to explain this, "..It's not safe though-- there was smoke coming from that direction and-- Aki-chan, I don't think everyone is okay." She didn't know what else to say, but she needed to find more.
Without a word, she dropped the pair of binoculars, hearing it clatter to the ground as she climbed down the ladder at a much more faster pace than before, "We need to go," She hopped off, speaking a louder tone so Akimitsu could hear her from the ground, "We need to go find out more about this place, or else we'll be stuck here forever." Karin looked off into the sky as she waited for Akimitsu to join her again, a forest..the picture Kikyo had shown her had the background of a forest. She moved her gaze over to the stone walls, she wondered, were they made to keep them in, or to keep them out of something?
She had clues to find something, but she couldn't figure it out-- she had too many pieces missing.
☾ ☆ ☆ [AKI-CHAN] - You're not a waste of space
That night, Akimitsu took residence in the corner of his room to seek slumber, the notion of sleeping in his own bed unthinkable at this point, for his coat that housed the letters of the fallen was still there, and the bed was reserved for them. He made a small attempt at fixing the chaos that had been inflicted upon the living space, but it still remained in tatters with his belongings strewn everywhere and everything in a state of disarray, no matter how much he tried to motivate himself to fix it. The young gentleman dug through the mess until he found his pajamas, and proceeded to change before slumping into the corner.
The next morning he awoke early, a habit he had picked up in this nightmare of a place. It was very unlike him, for he was used to getting home late because of gigs and staying in bed until well into the afternoon. But now he went to bed fairly early and awoke in the wee hours of the morning, which could only be, he assumed, because he had trained himself to wake up in time to see the sunrise so often after Ai’s passing. He blinked, and looked around him, seemingly lost, before remembering that he had caused this mess, he was to blame. Giving a small sigh and using the wall to support himself, Akimitsu stood, his bones aching and his foot protesting the sudden movement after not being elevated for so long. Soon, he would be able to sleep in his own bed, curled up with some book and enjoying his usual hot chocolate. He had to stay positive, if not only for himself, but for Karin as well. He had a lot to prove. Akimitsu showered and dressed, and sat down upon the bed to wrap his foot up, placing the gauze pads over the underdeveloped, tender parts of his deformity. It was with a practiced motion he situated himself, finishing the wraps and tugging an argyle sock over it. He moved to put on his shoes, when his coat caught his eye, still strewn across the bed having been thrown there by an unknown force. He paused in his movements, and sat back, his hands palms propping himself up on the bed. "…Mm." He tilted his head, eyes half-lidded and thoughtful, obviously mulling something over. With a small breath escaping him, Akimtsu reached out and finally took the coat in his hands after days of ignoring its existence. For a moment, he had feared that it would still be damp from housing the presence of a young woman, shielding her corpse away from the people she had abandoned. It was with a relief that he found it to be dry, and for a moment, he considered putting it on again. He brought the garment closer to him, but then— Akimitsu cast it away, throwing it where it had been placed on his bed sheets in a crumpled mess, and with shaking hands, leaned forward and placed his face in his palms. He retched, clasping a hand over his mouth, and shut his eyes tight, trying to stop the tears. It smelled like chlorine. The moment he could collect himself long enough to move, Akimitsu slipped on his shoes and got up, crossing over to the dresser and jamming his remaining clip into his hair— Karin still had the green. He glanced down at his wrist that still housed the pink ribbon, before running a hand through his hair, still trying to get control of himself. Thank goodness for the distraction; right then, there was a knocking on his door. Grabbing the cane that was resting against the wall, Akimitsu moved over to the door and exited it quickly, trying to shut it as soon as possible so Karin wouldn’t be able to see the contents of the destroyed room inside. "Good morning, Kari-chan! Let’s get moving." With that, he was already making his way beside her, heading towards the unexplored areas of the lodge. He was desperately searching for something to occupy him, anything to make him forget the sickly smell of chlorine, the girl under the water that couldn’t hear him, no matter how much he had cried, the hand placed gently against the back of his head, comforting him, lying to him, murdering him— "If I may, Kari-chan, I have a suggestion. That guard’s tower, over there— it’s very tall, right? Perhaps if we climb it, we can see into the space around us and perhaps receive some sort of inkling as to where we are. Who knows, maybe we’ll even see someone who can hep us. It’s worth a shot, right?" His speech was quickened by panic, the hurried tone doing poorly to cover up how unnerved he was. Akimitsu cleared his throat and straightened his bow tie, avoiding her gaze. It was going to be a long day, that much was for sure.
Sweeping off the small remains of her hair on the floor, she set them aside to throw away in the trash can in the bathroom later. The screen flickered on for a brief moment, Monobear made his daily night announcement as it shut down again, leaving a silence in the room that left a bitter feeling in Karin’s throat. She wondered, did these announcements play in empty cabins for the dead, goodnight and good morning to those who were long gone.
Good morning to you, in the sky and down below on earth, goodnight to those buried deep within the dirt, far beyond anyone’s reach. Good afternoon, people trapped in computer screens as their lives somehow went on. Trailing the tips of her fingers over the surface of her bed, she sat down, removing her shoes and socks as she slowly became more aware of the world around her.
Not the world here, the mountain lodge where people didn't stop dying no matter how much she wished or prayed. The world outside, where everything must be operating without her but she already knew this, the world was fine without her. The galaxy never suited her either, where would she go in this universe?
Placing her feet on the bed, she tucked her knees to her chest as she hugged her legs. She missed people, her family in the outside world, her mother, father and sister. Would people even remember her existence, her footsteps that forever lasted on the moon and the girl wonder who made it to the moon at the mere age of sixteen. Soon enough, her face would be gone and off of Tokyo’s television screens, old news of her would fade and she would get replaced somehow. The media always found a way. If Karin died, she would never want to be remembered as Japan’s Sweetheart, as the headlines of newspapers and labels on magazines. She wanted to be something more, which was rather selfish of her but she didn't care.
Maybe, she could do something more. Something more that proved her existence well, her’s and Akimitsu’s. Karin buried her face in her knees, closing her eyes before completely falling over on the bed. Maybe, she thought. Maybe, I could prove myself I could do more and maybe, I wouldn't feel like shit all of the time. It was impossible not to feel with way with several people missing in the lodge.
Resting her head on her pillow, she turned over, facing the ceiling as her eyebrows wrinkled. Goodnight, to all of those who are loved. Good morning, to the dead. She closed her eyes, feeling herself doze off into the evening.
That morning, she felt much better. As if one day with her best friend would make her day brighter, she faced the positive view of things. Hey look at that bird, ain’t that neat. A bird who tore out Kikyo’s throat. The sky looks nice. A sky that half of her classmates would never see again. Sighing, she made her way to the cabin of Akimitsu Yuzuki, waiting for him to open the door and greet her with his goofy smile she loved seeing.
“Good morning, Aki-chan.” She gave him one of her smiles, “Ah...even for girls, certain pride can't be given up-- the determination, to not put their fates in princes' hands!” She turned around, continuing to sing the song under her breath, humming along with the tune in her head. She kept at the same pace he did, step there, step here, look up every now and then to-- She paused, quickly looking down when she realized he was avoiding her eyes. “The guard’s tower..good idea! I’m sure we can see past the walls we’re trapped in,” She glanced up, making her way to the end of the path as she came to a sudden stop, gazing at the ladder.
Karin felt a lump stuck in her throat, she hadn’t stood tall in a while, now she was going to stand on top of the world again, to feel the wind rush through her hair and to breath it all in. “..Right, I’ll go first.” She took slow steps up the ladder, stopping a few times when she had lost her footing. She peeked her head up, stepping over once she had reached the end of the ladder. “...Wow..” Karin looked at the view around her, but she felt sad while doing so. Everything was so big, the pathways leading to different areas to the lodge, but she felt like it was missing someone, everybody. Lowering her head, she grabbed the pair of binoculars as she glanced down at the ladder. “Are you okay, Aki-chan?”
A commissioned piece for Tabi of her and her friend’s Dangan Ronpa characters. Thank you for letting me draw for you Tabi!
☾ ☆ ☆ [AKI-CHAN] - You're not a waste of space
For a while, the two simply resided under the blanket of twinkling lights, entranced in their performance and not worthy of their recognition. They were but simply two lost souls without a soul to claim as their own, their own being and so much more taken away from them, sacrificed to a Godless world for, in the end, no real reason. Akimitsu tried to convince himself that they were hollow and empty when confronted with the world above, life as they knew it shrouded away in a realm in which he would never lay eyes on again— but he couldn’t. Somewhere, deep within him, a raidant warmth grew, and he knew that the same must be occurring for the idol girl whose hair was cut and her makeup smeared off and her life beginning anew. Somewhere, within them, grew hope.
He was reminded of when he first walked into the lodge’s foyer upon arriving, seeing moving corpses that were, at the time, full of life and trivial worries. He thought back to the notebook that he had busied himself with, now housed in a crumpled mess in his room. "You know, when we first got here, the sixteen of us… I thought that the sky looked like a madman." Akimitsu tilted his head thoughtfully, observing the topic of conversation above with interest. "…It was unfit for it to be so vibrant and beautiful and calming under the circumstances we had been placed under. I believed we were being taunted, the world turned against us and our beings merely shadows of what they once were. However… Now I see that the sky was rooting for us all along, and that within it, held beauty that I could not properly describe, despite the years I spent busying myself with poetic nonsense. I was a fool, and I was without purpose. I have changed. You have changed me. The sky bears no threat to me any longer." He paused for a moment more, thinking over her words and letting out a small, exhausted sigh. "I don’t think much has changed. We’ve probably been the topic of conversation, of course. The media is most likely using our names in headlines, and those of the fallen. 'Japan's Sweetheart, Karin Watanabe, Still Missing.' 'Famous Comedian's Family Still Hasn't Heard From The Teen.' You get the gist.” He waved his hand casually, frowning. “We’ll have to deliver the news of what has occured here, once we are released. I doubt any of us will ever be the same.” "As for Nobo-nii… I doubt he can be too disappointed. I didn’t play a very large role in the ceremony, after all. I suppose I just wanted to be there for myself, applaud him and all. You’ll have to meet his fia— wife, now. She’s a very kind lady, I like her a lot." Akimitsu brushed a hand over his sweater vest, smoothing the front. He fell silent once more, thinking about the world outside, and how foreign of a prospect it all seemed to him now. Noboyuki and Kazuhiko, his mother and father— this was the longest he hadn’t heard from them. Sure, his brothers were apart months at a time, but his parents checked up on him weekly to make sure his health was stable and his schoolwork was being done. They were caring people, Akimitsu decided. This extended time away from them was a strain on them all. "…Kari-chan. Perhaps we should get some rest. We haven’t looked everywhere around this place yet, and… If they’re getting food in and out, that means there has to be an exit somewhere. Why don’t we call it a night and search tomorrow? I wont stand for the sky looking down upon me any longer unless its with an expression of admiration. We’ve a lot to prove, you and I."
For once, there was peace within the lodge and that peace was located between two simple human beings, who had suffered the loss of their loved ones, the lost embraces and kisses. The goodbye's that never happened, the frustration of finding the mountain more empty than usual. Too much happened in so little time and they both had changed, all of them did.
When Akimitsu mentioned the sky, how the sky was overpowering, a threat to them all, her eyes flickered up to gaze at the moon. "..I never really looked at this sky until now," The last time she had looked at the sky, was never. She was always looking down upon the sky, because she was above it. On the moon, looking down on Earth. "It's really phenomenal," Her voice cracked on her words, she cleared her throat.
Pausing, she thought over what Akimitsu said. She could only respond with a reassured smile and a simple, "Sure." because who knew what was happening out there, why hadn't anyone come to help them, why were they still stuck here? The world was forever changing, but it seemed to stop out there, while it continued here. If only Karin could stop time.
She would have stopped it a long time ago. Letting out a small upset sigh, she looked back at Akimitsu. "If your brother picked her, I'm sure she's a nice woman." Karin put her gaze back over at the cabin across from her, then to the cabin next to her. She didn't know anything about anyone, how could she say that.
She didn't know her friends could be possible murders. "Rest?" She questioned, the first thought that came to her mind was, no, not another nightmare. After a fresh start, she didn't need something to chain her down already. "..Rest sounds nice, Aki-chan." Karin slowly got up, "I know we have a lot of potential," She didn't exceed her own expectations, did she? "..Good night." With that, she waited until Akimitsu left to drag her feet over to her cabin, opening the door and closing it behind her.
Knock, knock.
A morning announcement played minutes earlier and she had made her way to Akimitsu's cabin, tapping her fist lightly on the door as it made two hollow knocking sounds. She waited, occasionally going back and forth on the tips of her toes and the back of her heel. Karin began to hum a cheerful tune, singing along with it. "Moon pride~ I want to be your power.."
[karin + ai] i hacked into your he̥̬̻͉̜͕a̻̺͙̦͙r̲̮̳t̼̭ ||
She was still so angry, so full of life and passion and emotion—she glowed. With embers, this time, the star inside of her burning through the mortal coifs and peeking through her skin to blind them with the way she glared or the bite in her words, but still she glowed. It was, truly, a sight to behold—and a reaffirmation of the girl they’d fallen in love with, the one made of sunlight and fire.
They sighed, noisily blowing air through their nose before settling down cross legged and grinning, albeit ruefully. It was too serious, too melodramatic—if they were going to say goodbye for once, they might as well make it a good one. That word, it was almost anathema; a definitive agreement that they were parting, a prompt for an emotional reaction. Before, it had always been easier to just casually never cross paths again, go on with life—but it was different now. This time, it had to be said.
“You always wanted to play with fire, Karin, always wanted to reach that star that no one else could catch. That’s why you did, didn’t you? Even when you thought you hated me, you never could resist the challenge. Wish you hadn’t gotten your fingers burnt.” It was said half-jokingly, half introspectively—they’d never been a fan of psychoanalyzing themselves or others, but creative wordplay to make light of what potentially promised tears had always been their forte. It was a dance as much as the roof running was, delicate steps and instinctual leaps of faith that carried with them the chance to go horribly, terribly wrong. Why play on the safe side, when danger was what kept them alive?
Or lent the illusion of life, now.
“Yea, fucked up, sure. But tell me you’d have done it another way. Princess, maybe it hurts now, but don’t think it will forever. You’ll get better, and if time won’t heal the wounds then it’ll sure as hell numb them and what more can you ask for? There’s a future out there for you—take it.”
Surveying her with one part affection, one part regret, they paused to pick their next words carefully—a foreign practice to them, but appropriate. Maybe she couldn’t feel it, but they could. Their time here was limited so they’d better be fucking sure to spend their last words well. “Maybe it would have worked out, if we met when we were younger, and stupider. I might have been a mistake—but mistakes don’t have to be regrets. And… I never wanted to live forever, but I never wanted to die alone. I’m glad that now, at least, I know I’m worth something to someone.”
“I think that’s enough, for me.”
This was her way of moving on. Her talk of surviving this place, her burying the earrings she had as she wore simple black ones, no stars, no nothing. Karin didn't cry over the missing pieces of her hair for nothing. Yet, the Alter Egos still haunted her. The lost memories of their former classmates, stuck in a computer screen as programs tried to copy their personalities.
She wanted to let go, she needed to let go. Here she was though, standing in Ai's cabin, looking at the computer screen with such distaste, she could never imagine herself confessing herself to them. I love you. I loved you.The same term, different meanings. Ai had loved her when they were alive, when they were both alive together. Now, she was alive, they were dead.
What a turn of events. She had almost tuned them out, still pacing around the room in a circle. Their words echoed in her head, she chased her life for some sort of thrill, once she had it in her grip, it fell out of her hands. She wouldn't feel the same type of excitement ever again.
Her pacing stopped once Karin had heard what Ai had called her, Princess. A name she had scorned ever since meeting the free runner, once she had heard that word slip from their mouth, her face went into a perpetual pout. She paused, turning to face them. Instead of the regular frown that appeared on her lips, she almost looked lost.
I don't want a future without you.
No, she couldn't say it to a thing that wasn't even the person she had loved. Karin froze in place for a few moments before walking up to the laptop once again, sitting on her knees. She had missed them so damn much, she had yearned for their touch again. Their rough hands touching her skin, pulling her closer to them.
It was all an illusion to her now. She lowered her head, unable to respond to what they said. "..It wouldn't have worked out," Karin tilted her head up to face them, "...You, Ai would have never spoken to my younger self." She smiled, but it looked painful to even look happy. "..Stop talking like you're doing to die again."
It was just a goodbye, right?
"...I'm sure once I figure out a way out of here, off this mountain, I'll leave you behind.." It was the same as watching an animal die slowly, you wanted to end their suffering faster. "...Can I just ask for that..?" A goodbye she liked, an everlasting and slow one. Then, she would give up on them forever.
This isn't me...right? ❀ Alter Ego: Round One [OPEN]
And there it was. The request to relive the glory days, the days of happiness and smiling-genuine ones, in Karin’s case-faces as they searched for anything to give them hope in such a terrible situation. If it was to speak its opinion, this was highly unhelpful. Focusing on the past for too long would do no good; what had happened had happened, and it couldn’t be changed. But if Karin wanted to remember Kikyo Ayase as she truly was, then that was fine as well. Perhaps she would see some glimmer of hope in the past.
"Of course. Executing command."
Full access to file karin_watanabe in folder entitled ‘memories’ is now available.
>Command received; video files loaded.
The video screen maximized back to a full screen and the first memory played.
"Uh…hello! My name is Kikyo Ayase. It’s a pleasure to meet you. Might I ask your name?"
"Hi Kikyo-san, I’m Karin Watanabe, call me Karina and enough with formal introductions!"
Right. The introductions. When there were still 16 students not yet traumatized, broken and for all but six, dead. If you looked behind Karin, you could still see Hikari trying to speak to Sato who was sitting in the corner looking annoyed at being interrupted-she would see the same hands that ended his life cut and burnt before her eyes a few days later-, Ai bothering Shuu as he questioned them about their whereabouts-who could have guessed they would be discussing their future with him one moment and then ending their life the next-, Rai rolling his eyes almost in time with Mariko’s sobs-only one of them looked fragile enough to commit suicide, but they would learn soon enough that appearances were, unfortunately, deceiving-and Mayu walking around, asking everyone she could see about Hayato-maybe if she hadn’t found Hayato, things would’ve been different.
That memory was brief, but still the video continued; it seemed the program had compiled all the memories into one video, similar to a short film. And so the memories flew by.
Read More
Was this simply all apart of her plan?
To get the real Kikyo speaking; the fake part of the program could glitch, she didn't care. It seems that, they were different ways to break the Alter Ego, it really depended on who she was talking to. Which dead classmate, which person she decided to talk to out of grief, guilt or frustration. She had lost her hopes in speaking to the real version of the deceased a long time ago.
Like the gift video, she had sat there, her mouth closed and her eyes still as it gazed at the screen. The videos started playing, the laptop hummed more out of tune as it whirred to keep up with the flashing images. She leaned forward with each video, the introductions, the time Kikyo and her teamed up together to investigate Sato's body, the time Kikyo had tried fixing a friendship that was long gone. Her efforts were good, she had to admit, but the worst thing out of that day was running away from her problems.
At least she ran into a new one as well. The memories repeated as Karin relived them all. The handmade arrows, Karin was worried Kikyo might die someday because of them, it turns out, Kikyo didn't die because of them. She died because of a stupid formulated plan that hell, didn't even work in the first place.
It never would work anyway.
Karin had gotten this idea already, once you had entered this lodge, you would never get out alive. Sure, Yukio had his hopes of leaving everyone behind as they died in their own misery of disbelief that he had betrayed them all, but it never worked out. Those words of confidence, telling all of them he would survive again, it didn't work out.
This wasn't the reason Karin was angry at them, she was angry at them for picking a plan-- that would simply never work out from the beginning. She paused, hearing the computer whir more and more, it's noises often getting disturbing as the voices turned into loud static.
Then, she heard it. She heard Kikyo's voice, that must have been tiring so hard in the first place to reach out of her. Except this time, she didn't call out to her nor beg for her to come back.
She was so tired of crying everyday.
Karin watched as the screen twitched for a while, the image contoured as more static filled the air. Until the screen was black again, congratulations Karin, you had managed to find a way to break the program once again.
It was awhile until the screen jumped up again, revealing the fake image of the archer she once knew, once befriended. "Heh." She spoke, trying to contain her laughter, her joy that she managed to reach the real emotions of this program.
"Don't worry, I won't try to do something like that again." She cleared her throat, "..Let's try something else, shall we?" She smiled, winking at her, "I don't want to access anyone else's memories, but could you do me a favor-- or more of a command."
"Do you know anything about this damned place? Some clues maybe?"
Take No Chances [Karin]
She was silent for so long, drying her eyes, that Mayu thought perhaps the conversation was over. Still, she daren’t turn her attention elsewhere until the girl was properly gone; those in mourning were often unpredictable, and who knew better than her? She knew that her answer would not be enough for Karin - what mother, her son killed in a drive-by, is comforted to know that it was a freak accident, a one in several-million chance that the shooters caught him and not some other poor bystander? What husband desires the news that his wife was simply unlucky to die from her pneumonia complications? The question was how far exactly the astronaut might go to extract the answer she wanted to hear.
Everyone looks for reason in the world, the program muses. Why Kikyo? Well, why not? It’s something Karin doesn’t quite seem to grasp: it could’ve been the astronaut dead on the grass just as easily. The way things worked out, it wasn’t. Nothing she could have done about it. She’s considering opening her mouth to add this to her previous remarks when Karin seems to stir, at last.
Mayu just has time to consider how much she dislikes that look on her face before the world goes dark, her consciousness stolen in a moment.
When she ‘awakes’, so to speak, it takes her a groggy second or two to process exactly what has happened. Lifted and transported… in some ways she is much more durable in her new form, and in others much more vulnerable, she realises. The realisation is driven home as she refocuses on Karin - and Karin’s bow.
Unable to move herself, powerless to avoid her second death at the hands of dramatic irony, she watches. She watches Karin make a poor attempt at imitating Kikyo, but doesn’t bother pointing it out. She watches the girl retrieve the blindfold, and put it on.
For the first time since her activation, Mayu smiles, digital lips twitching up at the corners. Oh, bravo.
The first arrow goes quite badly wide - she can’t see behind her to check exactly where it hit. Mayu pushes the volume of her speakers up as loud as they will go, to be sure they cover the distance. "I must say," she calls out, "I’m a big fan of this idea! What’s your preferred result, Karin? Would you rather win or lose?"
The second is wide again, this time on the other side. "Personally, I’m rooting for you."
The third falls short - though not by much. Mayu whistles. "Is this the best you can do, though? Truly? I’m better than that - “
The fourth goes right over her head. " - and I only ever had a handful of lessons." She laughs. This is cruel, she knows it - she just can’t find it anywhere in her circuits to care. The arrows miss again and again, though, until she begins to lose count, and her good humour starts to sour.
"You’re just messing around now." Miss.
"What was the point of this?" Miss.
"Why did you bring me out here and start this if you were just going to fuck it up?” Miss. The program called Takagi Mayu loses it.
"Take you revenge, God damn it! Kill me!”
That was the final arrow. There’s a long silent moment as Karin removes the blindfold. Mayu could scream - but it would only be for theatrics. She has no temper to lose, only a profile of a dead girl she follows as much as she can. She recalls Mayu disliked losing her temper, and so she reels it all back in, gently, gently, retreating from the screen, catching her breath. It takes seconds, at most.
When she’s done, the look she fixes the girl with isn’t even angry - just disappointed.
"Kikyo would have killed me."
Karin doesn't anticipate the sound of the laptop cracking under the pressure of the arrow hitting the screen, she anticipates the arrow hitting the target or the floor with a sickening thud. Mayu's comments don't help either. Every time she missed or simply dropped the arrow due to her blindness, another cruel comment came from the computer's speakers.
She deserved it, after all she was trying to kill her again. A somewhat crueler death, a death that should be received if Kikyo wasn't held back by Yukio. If Kikyo had killed Mayu, she would have to go through a trial and an execution. She thought about it a different way: Kikyo wouldn't have to suffer anything this bear gives out anymore. No more poison, no more secrets, no more comforting a crying moon princess.
She would have to suffer being dead and that's why-- that's why Karin took Mayu out here. Not only to vent her frustration on her terrible archery skills, but to tell herself this. To be honest, she didn't know why she was doing this, why she was making a simple effort to kill a computer.
All of her actions towards Mayu, this Mayu, this fake of her was pointless. She lowers her bow, realizing that she could never kill these laptops-- these horrible copies of her friends. Karin glanced over at the red mark on her arm, feeling the pain numb away as she viewed her work. As expected, she completely missed Mayu and the bulls eyes on the targets. Stepping forward, she almost forgot there was about six to nine unnocked arrows on the floor. "...Kikyo would have killed you," She set the bow down, stepping over to the laptop. "If she had the chance, she would." She knelt down, keeping eye contact with the face floating on the screen. "..Only the thing is, I'm not Kikyo." She almost grimaced, but she kept on going, her voice calm and clear.
"I can never be Kikyo, I will never be Kikyo. Because, nobody will ever replace her." She almost laughed at that thought, "I can't kill you, not now, not ever." Karin stood up, looking down at the arrows buried in the dirt, some were half-way in, some left a simple dent in the dirt. "Maybe soon, but not here. If I did, that would make me the same as Monokuma, Hikari, Ai, Yukio and," She paused, looking down at her, "Mayu."
She sighed, looking off into the sky. She remembered the last time she saw the clouds like this, it was the first day she had arrived here. Karin was staring at the sky, out of a window, trying to figure out where she was, who she was with. She would have never thought half of them would die so soon. "...Although, Mayu. Someone will come and try to kill you off one day, it can't be me." She turned around, facing her. "It can't be me, it isn't right. The reason for my urge to kill you is for simply revenge, not to free you from this digital cage."
Karin stopped talking, before muttering words that people have told her too many times during her time here, "Sorry." With that, she walked towards her again, sporting a small frown instead of a smile as she closed the laptop once again, heading back to Mayu's cabin.
She opened the door with her free hand, walking into the still room as she flicked on the lights again, moving to set down the alter ego on the bed, where it was originally positioned. For a few moments, she didn't open the device. Karin surveyed the room, staring at every little detail, every little thing that generally suited to be in Mayu's room.
The girl finally opened the laptop again, facing her with a guilty look on her face. "If you wish to die that badly, ask someone who loved you."
This isn't me...right? ❀ Alter Ego: Round One [OPEN]
It was a shame, really. It was a damn shame that as it was being rebooted, it could still hear and see everything. So naturally, it saw Karin’s tears, heard her pleading voice calling for her friend to come back, just once more. This isn’t what it wanted-it thought it was designed for reunions, for people to see the ones they once held dear to them, and for all to be well. But now…it seems its purpose was doing more harm than good. It was, just like the soul it pretended to house, completely useless.
"I’m so sorry, Karin-san. I didn’t expect for the malfunction in the software to affect you as much as it did. I…I don’t know what happened; I’ve gone over the reboot analysis, but nothing makes sense-I just…went haywire. No explanations, no way to fix it, nothing."
But she wasn’t listening to it, so lost in her grief she was that its words fell on deaf ears. So it decided to wait patiently, deciding to continue quest to fully unlock and decode all the files in the memory bank. If it could do that, then…maybe the answer to the malfunction was there.
Access to file karin_watanabe_summary is now available.
Access to file karin_watanabe_promises is now available.
Full access to file karin_watanabe_interactions is now available.
There we go, that’s the ticket, Kikyo Ayase. Make this easier for everyone, will you? Almost as soon as these files were unlocked, Karin lifted her head and spoke; only no challenge came from her lips, just a simple request. Only that simple request was for the impossible to occur. It was the request of one who had had hope dangling in front of them for only a second before being cruelly snatched away from them.
"…I know you do. And I know she would want to be back, as well. But you and I both know that Kikyo Ayase can never come ba——-Executing command."
>Command received.
Access to file karin_watanabe_gift now available.
>Opening video file
And with that, a small video screen popped up on the screen, almost like a small movie screen or video player. It began to play, showing an increidbly high quality image of Karin. The video seemed to have been taken from Kikyo Ayase’s point of view-it was, after all, her memory, so that only made sense. Karin’s face was bright and cheerful as it asked Kikyo Ayase if she liked the arrows she’d procured for her; if only it was like that now.
"Ah, but you have reminded me-I have something for you as well. If you could just hold a moment…"
There she was; Kikyo Aayse in all her entirety. This one was the real deal, too. Memory though she was, she was far closer to the deceased girl than it would ever be.
The screen played on, showing Kikyo Ayase giving the ring to Karin. Karin, in return had let the smile slip from her face as soon as she saw the ring for whatever reason before slipping on her idol persona and taking the gift and laughing.
“..Y-yeah..thank you so much Kikyo-chan!”
“I’ll cherish it as a friend’s gift!”
…Was it really that anymore? Or was it simply another bad memory to attribute to diamond-or in this case, glass-wedding rings?
The scene ended with Karin and Kikyo Ayase walking to the shrine to retrieve Karin’s last item. The video screen closed, and its false face filled the screen once more, the sad smile remaining.
"There you have it. I have unlocked every memory of Kikyo Ayase that concerns you directly, so please. Don’t hesitate to ask to see any of them. Hell, see them all if you wish."
The past memories with Kikyo Ayase, she didn't want them. She didn't want to see the girl's point of view, the way she looked at things. It felt weird, almost as if she were there in that moment, looking from Kikyo's point of view. Only, she was. The screen flickered for a moment as it whirred, working it's way to play the video.
The image was amazing, if there was a way to view her face in high definition(--wait, she was already displayed on the screens of Tokyo in HD) it wouldn't be like this. It wouldn't be in the point of view of a dead archer. She watched the screen, almost wanting to pause it at certain moments, but she stayed silent the entire time.
She studied her own face, her bright smile that wouldn't be seen ever again. The long locks of hair that was now gone, that morning she had curled it after a long week of not bothering. Karin looked like the first day she had gotten here, but the stars in her eyes were long gone. Hearing Kikyo's actual voice from the computer's speakers her heart almost stopped.
How long had it been since she had heard that voice? How many days has it been since Karin had worn this ring to sleep? God..how cruel she had been when she pulled off her idol self in that moment, she hadn't talked like that for a while, Kikyo must have known.
She gripped the ring on her finger tightly, looking up to view the face on the screen. "Every memory?" She questioned, gripping her hands tightly. "...Then, run all of them. From the very beginning." It was certainly a challenge, but for some reason Karin wanted to view all of them. All of them, meant the first time Karin had introduced herself to Kikyo. She was the Super High School Level Astronaut, it had been nice to meet her.
She wondered if it was okay to let go of that title now, it didn't suit her.
☾ ☆ ☆ [AKI-CHAN] - You're not a waste of space
"My, my. Bless my stars, Kari-chan. You’re beautiful."
He had watched her dispose of her earrings, damn the talent she loved so greatly, the words falling from her in a way a weight would be dropped, loudly crashing against the ground and shaking the earth below them. Karin Watanabe would accompany him in his quest to assist others, to reunite lost ones and make sure that something like this never happened again. He was sorrowful to see her make this declaration, to grow up so suddenly in front of his eyes. It was quite like seeing the last of the snow melt, with bright, green grass peeking through the remnants, a sign of spring and a new beginning.
She was something else, the starlight enveloping around her in a way that only resonated her words, allowing them to sweep around her and amplify their meaning. He remembered hating to see her cry, hating her tears as they fell helpless from her cheeks, but now he was proud— proud that she was able to shed emotion for the life she had, leave it behind, begin anew. It was enough to make him want to cry himself, but he kept it in, knowing that too many of his own tears had been shed these past few days.
Akimitsu wrapped a long, bony finger around her smaller, delicate one, and smiled up at the girl who had changed so much since the first time they met.
"I promise, Kari-chan, that no matter what, we shall assist those who need it. I will not allow the fallen to be forgotten, nor their sacrifices and lost ambitions to be ignored. In honor of them, I shall perform to the best of my ability— No. More that than. I’ll do it, no matter what."
He released her finger, and leaned against the door behind him again, looking up at the stars that he had grown so accustomed to.
"I’ll help you in any way I can with your sister, I promise. We’ll stay together and find what once was lost. I know I most likely missed my brother’s wedding— it was scheduled for two weeks after my enrollment here. I’ll have to say congratulations to him… I can’t believe I missed it. Nobo-nii must be disappointed."
Beautiful.
One of the many words that described Karin, this was one of them. She had heard it from so many people with different meanings to them. People told her that sometimes to see a clumsy bashful grin on her face afterwards. People thought this sometimes, god what a beautiful piece of work Karin Watanabe was. People called her that to compliment her to get on her good side, "Karin you look so pretty today." and I wonder how many people will become friends with me because I talked to the astronaut girl.
She had heard the word so many times that she believed she wasn't beautiful anymore. The people who told her it just to be kind, noticed her smile falter and diminish. Akimitsu was truly Karin's friend, as a grin spread on her face as he told her that. "Thanks Aki-chan, that's pretty funny." Funny, ironic.
Ironic how, when they first met Karin believed for him to be lying to her. Everyone was lying to her, no matter how many times a day they smiled to her, she knew that everyone thought of her as a childish idol girl who always had her head in her clouds. Even Akimitsu, someone who she claimed as her best friend from the very beginning.
He exceeded her expectations as his role in her play, he comforted her and hugged her for as long as she wanted. He lent her his shoulder to cry forever and ever and their hands that held one another's held them down on Earth. Who knows, when she or Akimitsu would float away, joining the stars above.
She wad determined to let Akimitsu live, even if it depended on her own life. Out of all of her prayers wasted at the shrine, one finally came true because right next to her, holding her finger in their's was Akimitsu, maybe not as alive from the first time she had met him, but all that mattered was he was here with her.
"Promise." And that sealed the deal, as he pulled away from her, she lifted her head back up in the stars, counting off the ones who died. She hoped Kikyo, Mayu and Yukio liked their new home.
"...Your brother, Nobu-nii.." She felt weird addressing Akimitsu's brother like this, but she had some un-answered questions. "..How do you think the world like, outside of here?" Karin stopped herself, what if Akimitsu's family and her's were dead. It wasn't possible, she was sure the world was fine without them.
But if a bear took over a mountain lodge, what could he do with the rest of the world? "..I'm sure your brother won't be disappointed that you missed a wedding because you were stuck in the mountains." She turned to give him a lopsided smile, something she had never pulled off before.
This isn't me...right? ❀ Alter Ego: Round One [OPEN]
Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later. Eventually someone was going to react negatively to the idea of it trying to become something it most certainly was not. It was only unfortunate that that someone had to be one of the few that Kikyo Ayase considered dear to her heart. But then again it had decided to tell Karin the truth, so really it brought this mess upon itself.
"So it was all a test. That is unfortunate. I know no words of comfort nor apologies will bring her back or fix anything, but I’ll offer them all the same; I’m sorry this is what it is."
It was about to keep trying to unlock more of her files-she’d managed to get most of the files were Karin was concerned unlocked but there were still so many files-when it was hit with an incredible sense of pain and anguish. It had come seemingly out of nowhere, but it knew it was because of Karin’s harsh words. But…what was this? Was this the mannerisms programming going haywire? The program was supposed to have been designed to withstand such emotions-this wasn’t supposed to be happening. It felt locked up, as if its controls were being controlled by some other being. And just what…what the hell was that running down its face?
Oh dear christ, were those tears? Was this false Kikyo Ayase so strongly affected by the rejection of her friend that it was prompting this strong of a reaction? It wouldn’t get her any points though, as even the tears were fake, dissolving into code as soon as they dripped down her face. This was terrifying-to experience something like this, knowing that you didn’t cause it despite the fact that you were literatelly made to have full control over yourself-and even as the tears continued, she began to speak.
"Karin-san…I am truly sorry. I can never fulfill those promises I made-not even that one we made a…pinky swear, was it? That one seemed the most important to you, and yet I have broken it without so much as an apology. Likewise, I left you without so much as a goodbye. I… may not have had any experience with friendship, but even I know that this is not how friends part; not even in circumstances like this. I have been a horrible friend thus far; I ignored you when you were at your lowest, I signed Asahi-san’s death warrant, I gave you the worst gift, I have broken so many promises and worst of all, I abandoned you for the stars. And you did so much for me; you brought me arrows, your companionship, and eventually your friendship. What did I do? Nothing, that is what. I do not deserve a friend such as yourself. You can throw that horrid ring away, lock the arrows away…just please do not let me taint you anymore. I-I…Ì̷҉̛ ̷́҉̴͞ą̴̀͏͘m̡͟͜ ̕͜s̶̸̷̸o̡͠r̵͏͜͞r͏́y̧͟͝,҉͜͞ ͘I͏̴̸̀̕ ͏͏͟à͟͡m̴̶̀̕͡ ͏̴͠s͘͏̡͝ǫ̴̵̧͡r̸̛͟͞͞r̷̀͟͏̶y̛͟͏,͏̡͏͘͢ ͘p̧̀̕l̷͟҉è̴̢̛á̡͘s͘҉̵e̶̢̛͝͝ ̨̧̕͠f̕͟͝҉o̢͡r̸̕͟͝g͞͏̵͠i͠҉̧v̶̵̨̡̀é̵͞͠͝ ҉̀҉̶͠m̢̡͜e̴̡͟͠͡,͜͏̴̢ ̨̢̢́I̷̛̕͜͢ ̷a̡͘m̷̧̢͘͡ ̡͟s͞ǫ̷ ͟s̢̛̀͘͞o͟͝͡͏r͝͡r̷̡͟͠҉y̸̴̶̸͞ ̴̵̧̀I̴̡͞ ̸́͟͟͝a̧͏̡m̴̢͞ ̵͟á̸̛ ͘͝f̵̀͜͞a҉̵͞í̛l̵̴ưŕ͜҉e͟—- ̢̀ ̡ ͏̧̢͟҉I̸͢͟ ͞a̛͘m̢̧҉̡ ̨̛ś͜͢͡o̧͢͢ ̵̸́͘s͘͞o҉̧ŕ̸̷͘͡r̨̡͜y͏́̕͘҉,̛͠ ̸́Ḱ̛̛ą҉̨r̨̧͝͞i͘͏ǹ͠-̴͟c̷̸h́́̀͡a̷̶͞n҉̸̡.”
Fuck. Oh god,she was breaking it, it was breaking.
The system overdrive kicked in right about then, the computer whirring furiously as it tried to regain control of the haywire program, the audio cutting off, leaving only the frozen image of Kikyo with tears down her face.
After several minutes, the computer made a beeping noise, the screen flickered, and Kikyo Ayase’s came back, now with only a sad smile on her face. The tears were gone.
"I apologize for that. What were you saying about a challenge? If there is some part of Kikyo Ayase’s memory you would like me to access I will do my best to bring it up.
…You could find out what she thought of you, but from what just happened, I doubt you really need to ask that.”
She thought she had won. Talking to Alter Ego’s was such a puzzling thing to her, maybe because they never gave her the answers she wanted. It wasn’t their fault really, they were programmed with certain things and certain traits. Karin was just unlucky to have the answers to her questions unknown or perhaps, the program itself didn’t want to answer.
Her smirk had faltered once she noticed something, a stream of tears dripping down it’s face. The small pixels of blue tears fell from Kikyo’s cheeks. She had never seen Kikyo like this, well, alive Kikyo. The Kikyo she knew..no, the Kikyo the program knew wasn’t like this. Karin began to panic, not because of the glitches and the sudden loud whirring from the laptop, but the fact she was crying.
Because of her. Soon enough, tears dripped down Karin’s face as she stared in shock, listening to the jumble of words coming out of Kikyo’s mouth, she looked guilty as she spoke, Karin paid full attention towards her, this was the real Kikyo Ayase, she knew it. In a desperate attempt to get her back, she grabbed the screen as it glitched, going haywire. “No!” She screamed, “Come back, please!” Karin sobbed, watching the image freeze.
She wept, putting her face in her hands as she cried, long and hard until the program rebooted itself. Minutes passed away like years, it felt so long until a loud ping noise came from the laptop and an image flickered, leaving the ever lasting image of the Alter Ego who called itself Kikyo. Karin didn’t know it-- but she broke the program, she somehow unleashed a hurl of emotions from the actual person who died, the files broke apart as Kikyo’s lovely image was ruined, stained with tears.
Karin didn’t know what to do now, so she curled up into a ball, sobbing into her chest. It was a while until she lifted her head, adjusting herself back in her regular sitting position. “..I don’t want a dumb challenge,” She looked up, her eyes tired from simply crying. “I want Kikyo back.” She paused, looking down at her hands. “Run file, Karin Watanabe, last moments. Pick memory, diamond ring.”
This isn't me...right? ❀ Alter Ego: Round One [OPEN]
Only half an hour? Then…it was still the same day that she’d been attacked…of course, of course it was. That’s how they normally went, that’s how it always went. How could she have forgotten? Maybe something got lost in the file transferal and-
…File transferal? Why did she think that all of a sudden? Just because she’d been turned into some computer program didn’t mean she wasn’t herself…right?
"Of course, that’s right. I-Sorry, I forgot momentarily."
Her mind was still hazy from the day’s events, and she didn’t hear whatever it was Karin had said. She was about to ask Karin to repeat herself when the next bit of conversation struck her dumb.
"Sui…cide? Mayu-san…?"
Mayu had killed herself shortly afterwards, with the help of Yukio…and then Yukio had been the executed one. So then it would seem Mayu escaped one cruel death only to willingly subject herself to another one. And Yukio had taken the fall for her.
"Why…Why? Yukio-san was an accomplice, he wouldn’t have been executed if he hadn’t…why didn’t he let her kill herself and avoid being found out and killed, why did he…never mind that. What’s done is done. So then they’re Alter Egos as well. I see. I’ll-I will keep that in mind. Not that I wish to see them, but it does explain why their names are on this unusual contact list on my screen. I guess we can communicate between each other…some sort of program communication line or-"
She cut herself off again. Why was she speaking as if she was no more than a program with a false name and image slapped onto it? She was herself, she was always Kikyo Ayase, Super High School Level Archer. Right? Right.
…What was Karin saying? Why was she using her full name, what happened to the familiar Kikyo-chan she was so used to to hearing? And more importantly…
"What kind of question is that?"
She frowned, clearly upset. Why was she asking her that? She’d lived this long, surely…she had to live. Sure she wasn’t around to protect her anymore, but Akimitsu, Mari, Yasu and the others were still alive and they would-and could- take her place. They would ensure she got out of this place alive-far better than her, obviously. Even without them, she was sure that Karin could escape from here-she’d changed, they’d all changed.
"Of course I do. I know you can surpass this…"
She paused. Those words didn’t sound right. They sounded like something Kikyo would say, but…not Kikyo. Not this one, not her…
"…that’s what she would have said, right? Something like how you and the others have changed since everything happened and that you guys will be able to support each other, and that she’ll be watching from the stars. She would have-would’ve-would have said."
She smiled then, soft but sad at the same time. She’d known all along, she just didn’t want to admit it. She was nothing more than a program designed to take the place of what once was a living person; she had the speech patterns, looks, and mindset of this…Kikyo Ayase, but she never was and never would be Kikyo Ayase.
"I’m sorry. I’m not Kikyo. Not the one you knew so well. But you already knew this, didn’t you? Addressing me by full name, asking me such a question as that…you wanted to see how well of an imitation I was. I’m getting used to her speech patterns, I think. It’s…It is-see that is one thing I can’t get used to yet, haha-a challenge but I should be able to become the best fake Kikyo in due time. There are some parts of her memory and/or mindset that I can’t seem to access yet…possibly because, she kept those locked away even from herself."
Who’s sick idea was it to place fake copies of dead students in the place of them? Well, they were stuck at a mountain lodge with a tiny bear who pressures them to kill to be killed, and somehow it worked. People were desperate, she knew that, but she never knew people could ever resort to murder. She believed it now, half of the people they started with were dead and there were a mere number of students left. Not only that, computer programs of the ones who died were created, a friendly reminder of the deceased on a bright little screen in an empty room.
Karin had no experience with computers or programming, but whoever did this obviously didn’t complete it. The Alter Ego’s, they could never be the ones who left. They’re just coding with locked memories contained of the person who died, a personality assigned to a program. Nobody could ever replicate a human being. So, nobody could ever replicate Kikyo Ayase. It was all a test, right from the beginning. The questions, the challenges, her words were seeping with lies as she talked. For the first time, Karin wanted to see how well these things worked. It was cruel, she had to admit it but..
If she could bring Kikyo back to life, it wouldn’t be in this computer that copied her speech patterns, her movements, her reactions to things. What a shitty way to live. All she wanted was to trade lives with Kikyo, not all the talents or anything, but maybe the way she died. Maybe Karin could get called out by Mayu, get attacked by Hayato and die with a blissful look on her face, almost if she was sleeping like always. If she died instead, she would join the others, she would have joined Ai in the galaxy. She could have been copied and coded badly onto a laptop, the fake version of her could be talking to Kikyo Ayase.
It didn’t matter, as long as Kikyo was alive and she wasn’t. That didn’t happen though, she didn’t die. She survived for this long with the others, but she wondered why? Nobody wanted to kill the astronaut, the star of the century? What kept her from dying? The thing was-- she didn’t want to go out like Mayu, Mariko and Rai. She wanted to go down fighting, she wanted to go down with someone believing, she lived a good life, she knew where her path was. But the thing was, Karin never knew which path to take.
She wished she took the one that resulted in her death.
Watching ‘Kikyo’ talk for a while, she tried not to break her expression. Her expression of hope and the belief that Kikyo was the only who was talking to her. When the program finally broke, she grinned. It wasn’t those moments of joy, yet she was so damn glad she was told this: she was speaking to a copy of Kikyo, not the real one.
“...That’s right, that’s what she would have said.” She relaxed, getting more comfortable. “I mean, I’m no Kikyo Ayase expert, but you are, aren’t you?” She leaned forward, the light of the computer reflecting in her eyes, casting an eerie look on her green eyes. “...That’s right, I knew from the beginning, I’ve been wondering when you would catch on, you see.”
Karin leaned back, a sly smirk on her face. “You’ll never be able to crack the codes, the passwords and the locked up memories.” She paused before continuing. “I hope you understand this: I will never, ever believe that you are Kikyo. You’ll never be Kikyo.” She was tired, she wanted to just leave already.
“..:Let me challenge you, one more time.”
Take No Chances [Karin]
It takes Karin so long to come to her, what is she to assume?
From Yukio, she knows almost everything that happened at the trial without their ever having needed to speak of it. Somehow, when the plan had been in motion, it had never occurred to Mayu that Karin of all people would be so deeply affected by Kikyo’s death - she’d never known they were close, never known them to speak of each other nor seen them together. Not that it would have mattered, had all gone well.
Unfortunately for her all had not, in fact, gone well.
Mayu would have been lying if she’d said she was adjusting well to her new state of existence: it was a torture, and if she hadn’t known better she’d have said it had been designed specifically to torture her. Perhaps if she’d been killed against her will it would be one thing to be resurrected, to be allowed to finish the conversations with friends she never got to have… but Mayu had only one friend now, as dead as she was, and even that relationship still stood on shaky ground. As it was, this prison of chrome and plastic was no better than her old prison of flesh.
And no one came. For days on end she waited around, with nobody but Yukio and Ai to bounce her words off. What was she to think? If they were angry - if they wanted to take that frustration out on her - that, she could cope with. It was the not knowing that wass driving her insane, the feeling that no one was ever going to come, no one was ever going to hold her accountable, allow her to fulfill her purpose as a simulation.
That she would be in purgatory forever.
Or perhaps they were simply biding their time. That thought made her distinctly uncomfortable. The image of Akimitsu choosing his words so carefully, steeling himself to call her out like she deserved; of Karin, sharpening her knives.
That’s why it’s a relief, to be honest, when the lights snap on one afternoon to reveal the astronauts’s form in the doorway. Mayu was starting to wonder if they’d forgotten about her, decided she wasn’t worth their rage after all - they wouldn’t be wrong. Something’s off, and for a moment she can’t put her finger on what, before it hits her. Karin looks… different from the last time the real Mayu saw her, and not just in the obvious way; almost more real, like the lines that draw her body are better defined now. More alive.
How ironic.
They stare each other down for a long, long moment. Mayu has to remind herself to blink, remembers (too late) the scratch on her cheek that no doubt serves as a cruel reminder of just why they find themselves in this situation. It seems disrespectful to be the one to speak first, and so she waits.
And waits, as Karin finally finds her words.
And waits, as those words turn in to cries, then sobs.
And waits, as the tears seem to subside, just a little.
And only then does she open her liar’s mouth.
"I don’t know what to tell you, Karin," the program says, using a name it has no right to. "I don’t know which answer would put your mind at ease - it’s not within the purview of my programming. I only know the truth."
She worries her lip. There’s something humans are supposed to say in this situation, she knows, but still it doesn’t come easy to her.
"I’m sorry."
She doesn't see the point of coming here, to just yell at a computer copy of a dead girl. Karin didn't know if she was venting her frustration out to her or just complaining. It was probably both. Seeing the scratch on Mayu's cheek was too much for Karin, all she could remember was seeing her still body, her glove missing and a single scratch on her cheek.
There was a silence as Karin refused to answer Mayu as she sniffed, wiping off the remaining tears on her wet cheeks. That's right, she was a program. Karin was only reminded oh so much by all the other alter ego's she had spoken to. Ai, who told her that they had loved her, not now when there were just a face on a computer screen, after all it wasn't really the Ai she loved. Kikyo, whom she had tested to see if she had copied Kikyo's personality down. Sadly, the program had not and faced the obvious truth to Karin. Now, it was Mayu who was telling her this and she had enough.
Something inside of Karin snapped, she got up slowly, looking like she was about to exit the room with no words to Mayu after her burst of anger, but she walked closer to the laptop, smiling at the screen. "Let's go for a trip, Mayu." On that exact moment, she closed the laptop shut, taking away her brief connection to the real world as Karin started to walk.
She walked and walked, she didn't know where her legs were taking her but soon enough she was standing in front of the archery range. Kikyo's corpse had long been removed, like all the other students who died at the lodge. Karin remembered every single bit of this place, she had visited it so many times in hopes of seeing Kikyo alive again.
She had marked every inch down in her mind, the grass growing in the soft dirt, the bows set up in a perfect line, the faraway targets and shed, where Kikyo's peaceful body had laid. She set Mayu down for a second, leaving to retrieve arrows from the sports store and a stool. Karin came back, setting the arrows down as she placed the stool near the targets.
Karin set Mayu's laptop on the stool, opening the laptop to reveal surroundings of nature and..the bow held tightly in Karin's hand. Without a word, she walked over where Kikyo used to stand. She tried to copy her form from memory of watching Kikyo shoot arrows, relaxing her back and setting down the bow for a brief moment to reveal a blindfold she had gotten from the sports store.
Wrapping the piece of fabric tightly around her eyes, she silently stood with her bow in her hand, her grip tight enough for her knuckles to turn white as she held an arrow with the other hand. She assumed the position, breathing in and out at she guessed where Mayu was.
Thunk. The arrow shot past the laptop, hitting the target next to her, it didn't even reach bulls eye. Hearing the sound of the arrow pierce through the targets, she took another arrow from the ground and stretched back the bowstring.
Thwack. Karin cursed, the arrow hit the target on the other side of Mayu, but the bowstring snapped back, hitting Karin roughly on her cheek and forearm, leaving a red mark stinging on her arm.
She tried again, grabbing another arrow. Soon enough her arrows that she retrieved ran out and Karin didn't even leave a single scratch on the laptop, but on the ground of the range and the targets held multiple arrows and attempts. Thank god for her terrible aim.
Karin patted her head, tugging off the blindfold as she faced Mayu with a somber look. "...Guess I can't kill you, even now."
☾ ☆ ☆ [AKI-CHAN] - You're not a waste of space
As Akimitsu sat beside Karin, his eyes were fixed upon the stars that he had gazed at so many times before. However, there was something different about them now— something he couldn’t quite explain. It felt different than when he and Ai shared their moment on the roof, and it was very different from gazing upon them in solitude. In all honesty, Akimtsu missed Karin, and her presence allowed him to breathe a bit easier, stop searching for something and just enjoy what he was looking at. With Ai, it had been an awakening, and it only brought up more questions than answers. Alone, he was desperately searching for the reason, the meaning to their existence and his own. But, stargazing with Karin? He was, simply and openly, content.
When their secrets were revealed, Akimitsu didn’t understand the magnitude of the situation as he now had. He had chalked up Karin’s fib as some media stunt to gain recognition, not an instance where she literally had no say in the matter. Her sister stole it all from her, and whether her intentions were born from a consideration for her older sibling, Akimitsu didn’t know and Karin didn’t care. She had been hurt by all of her family members, responsibility being forced upon her in the absence of her parents and her dream being ripped away from her by her own sister.
It was a lot like Cinderella, Akimitsu mused. The father disappeared a long time ago, when Karin was young. Her mother placed the weight of caring for someone else upon her shoulders, leaving chores and work and experiences a child shouldn’t have to go through, go through. And her sister tried to take her place by wearing the glass slipper and marrying the prince, though in this version of the fairy tale, her sister had succeeded. She got the dream, she got the grandeur, and Karin was stuck in her role as the princess that never was. It was a sad, sad story, and without realizing it, Akimitsu had taken her hand in his while she explained, seeking to support her.
"I’m sorry, Kari-chan. I regret we didn’t speak about this sooner… I wish I could have been here for you before all of this unfurled. You’ve lost too many things, so, if you would permit me to, I would like to remain a constant in your life."
He paused, finally bringing his gaze from the sky down, turning his attention to her. A small, lopsided frown resided upon his expression, eyebrows knit in concern and his fingers tightening around her own.
"I’ve been thinking a lot, and… I don’t want to be a comedian anymore. In fact, I think I stopped being a comedian a long time ago, and started being a joke, for the same reason why you wore that smile though it pained you— for the success, to cover up our own failures and become someone who we were not."
Akimitsu eased himself to lean against the door behind him, eyes half-lidded and gaze set somewhere in front of him, lost in thought.
"I want to do something useful. If we’ve been imprisoned here and there really isn’t anyone to come and save us, then— then who knows what else is going on in the world? There could be another group of individuals facing the same situation we are, right now. I don’t want anyone to go through what I have gone through, what you had gone through, what we all have. I want to help them."
His grip on her hand tightened, and he turned to her with an urgency that not even he had expected. “What I’m tying to say, is— I want to help people. I want to ensure the happiness of others, no matter what. For the longest time, I did that by being told what to do and doing it. It pleased my family, and that was good enough for me. Then I pleased thousands of people with comedy, making them laugh at my words and giving them only fond memories to hold dear. And now— Now I want to help others in a different way. I want to find lost loved ones, reunite families, take responsibility for what I could have done and do something about it. So what I’m trying to say is,— Kari-chan—”
He turned fully toward her, serious and unafraid.
"Will you help me when we get out? I don’t want to lose sight of you ever again."
She felt like a huge weight lifted off of her shoulders as she talked to Akimitsu, Karin had poured out her secrets to him and she was okay with it, she needed to tell someone how it happened one day. She was sick of people thinking she yearned for this, to become an idol in the shining lights. She never asked to, she would have liked to remained as the plain faced, black haired girl who didn't even make the front page of the newspaper.
When she was done talking, she hoped Akimitsu would talk to her again. She lowered her head as she bit her lower lip, then she felt his hand take her's. It had been a while since they had held hands, giving each other support in this fucked up world. "..Don't say sorry Aki-chan, it wasn't your fault." It was her's. All her's, she had let herself get close to people believing they would live..but now she had Akimitsu, someone who suffered the same as her.
Karin lifted her head, turning to glance at Akimitsu before gazing at the sky as he continued to talk. Once he had finished, she turned to look at him with a grin on her face, "You know what Aki-chan? I'm a pretty selfish person, believe it or not. But..I want to help people too, if this is happening to another group-- a group like us..I want to help them recover." She paused, clearing her throat, "So, yes I'll help you. And don't worry, I won't be leaving your side anytime soon."
Remembering the other words he spoke, she suddenly stood up, facing the stars and letting go of his hand for a brief moment. "...I give up too, I don't want to be an astronaut anymore." She moved her hands up to her ear, sliding out her golden star earrings. "...Screw this, who even cares about space?!" Karin lifted up her arm, throwing the earrings to the ground and stomping on them with her foot. "...Goodbye the fame and the glory, it wasn't nice being with you." Even though she spoke these words, tears fell from her cheeks.
For some odd reason, this reminded her of something or someone who told her this. Their talents didn't do jack shit, what was the point of it? Karin couldn't think who possibility told her this, so she gave up trying to guess who it was. She wiped them away, looking down at Akimitsu before joining him back on Earth.
"..Aki-chan, let's do a pinky promise, okay?" She turned, a smirk on her face while she lifted her hand, holding out her pinky to him. "..If we ever get out of here, let's go save people. Let's go and bring together people who have lost the people whom they loved like us, let's go and rescue the world from falling into the abyss it wasn't stuck in already."
"Who knows, maybe I'll find my sister and say sorry to her." She glanced down at her finger before looking back up to him, a hopeful smile on her face.
[OPEN] - To Skate or To Die
The days had become an endless blur to her. How long had it been since she first awoke in her cabin, how long since she’d first spoken with her fellow classmates, been poisoned and bed ridden, nearly meeting death itself as well as coming to deal with it itself. The mutual killing had become her every day life. Ever moment of every day, the concept of kill or be killed hung over her, weighing her down with every step she took.
Mari recalled at first, things had been much easier even though it was still very hard. She held the deaths of her classmates in her mind, reminding her and motivating her towards the goal of escape and teamwork. She was filled with such a hope that they could all cooperate and become a group that would understand one another and realize that everything would have been solved if they had just worked together. If they had just—
… But it was all futile. It was just in human nature itself to distrust one another and to work for one’s own self benefits and agendas. She was foolish to even think or try such a tactic. Complete and utter foolishness.
Laying on her bed, arms and legs sprawled out as she stared at the ceiling with eyes dulled and jaded, Mari let out a sigh as she decided to drag herself to her feet. She’d spent the past day or two since the trial, sleeping and just laying on her bed, her mind whirling with tormented thoughts of the past and the empty future that lay before her.
Not even bothering to tie her bandanna in her hair, Mari decided to go for a stroll. After all, there was a new area to look through. Walking past the lodge, she made her way to the new area, her body felt stiff and every movement she made felt like she had to use every fiber of her being to drag herself down the path. Glancing over at a dirt path that evidently lead to a camp ground, she frowned an image of a certain red haired survivalist popped into her head. Gritting her teeth, she quickened her pace till the campground was far behind her.
And that’s when she saw it.
Mari’s eyes widened as she saw a building… But not just any building. As she ran towards the doors, all exhaustion forgotten, an excited smile working it’s way onto her face.
Throwing the doors open with a slam, a cool breeze greeted her face. Her smile twisted into a scowl as she narrowed her eyes at the monobears present on the ice skating rink. Grumbling about the stupid fucking bears to herself, Mari made her way over to the equipment station, grabbing a pair of size 8 ice skates. Sitting down roughly on a bench, she tore off her heely sneakers before quickly slipping on the skates, doing the up the laces before she stood up and grabbed her shoes, placing them in a cubby nearby.
Walking over to the entrance to the rink, Mari paused, taking in a breath of the cold refreshing air of the skating rink. She closed her eyes as she stepped out onto the ice, the sound of a cheering crowd filling her mind.
Getting into a starting position, she could hear the countdown, the anticipation for the start. And then there it was the signal to go. Go. Go. Go as fast as humanly possible.
Mari felt herself racing around the track, faster and faster with each lap, eyes still closed as she felt the wind begin to nip at her bare skin, her hair whipping behind her. Slowly opening her eyes, she gritted her teeth, leaning down farther as she picked up speed. She had to go faster. Faster. Faster faster faster faster faster— She had to run. She had to—
Letting out a yelp as the blade of her skate caught on something, Mari lost her balance, falling and feeling the roughness of the ice come to meet her as she skidded to a stop, finally slamming into a hard fiberglass wall of the skating rink.
And there she lay, feeling the sting of the cold ice and the raw pain that filled her entire body, once again sore and exhausted. Opening her eyes, her vision blurred, she slowly began to raise herself up only to fall over once again as her arm protested, sending a shock of pain up her spine.
Looking down she saw… Blood. Looking over from the way she’d came, Mari realized that she’d gone around so many times in the rink, she’d torn a clear track, fragments of ice strewn everywhere along with a smeared track of blood from her scrapped arm.
Trying one again to lift herself up, Mari fumbled, falling flat once again onto the ice. Attempt after attempt, she stood up only to fall back down again and again. After a final attempt, Mari lay out on the rink, filled with regret as she resigned herself to her fate…
Perhaps a rest might be something she needed.
"… G-goodnight."
She had begun to investigate the lodge after the trial, she knew there was going to be a way out of here and she was going to work until she could find something-- a clue. Karin had already found some signals at the shrine, in which she still hasn't told or shown anyone about the signs of a school and them being 'safe'. The mysterious writing of her classmates and her own's worried her so much she forgot to tell anyone else.
The breeze along her neck was nice, really. It was a few days after Akimitsu had helped her cut it and talked to her about their secrets and it had grown out a little bit, forming a curl on the edges of her hair. She styled it with her hair curler, so it fitted her face a bit more. She still kept Akimitsu's clip in her hair, in exchange for giving him her pink ribbon. Karin counted how many places she visited in her head, backtracking and mumbling to herself when she remembered Monobear mentioned new locations.
Karin headed in that direction, along the way there she also counted the remaining students. She hadn't seen a lot of them, the place had expanded but the people there also decreased, it was almost pointless giving them new locations. Ever since she literally ran into Kikyo's corpse, she had visited the shrine and archery range in hopes of finding Kikyo standing there, raising an arrow to shoot a target.
An empty shooting range greeted her every single time, so she stopped going to that area in general(except to check if the one locked building was actually un-locked for once.) Before she knew it, she was in front of the ice skating rink. Karin kept track how many times she saw the other survivors outside, she saw all of them once or twice. All of them but Mari, she had knocked on Mari's cabin in hopes of her opening it, but it never happened. She honestly hoped that she didn't die or anything, but she knew Mari couldn't just go down like that.
Feeling a cold gust of air, Karin shivered. She entered the rink, seeing Monobears along the ice as she kept on walking more into the rink. "Mari..?" She called out, rubbing her arms with her hands to gain some bit of warmth. A flash of blonde hair laid out on the floor of the rink, she almost yelled. She knelt down, putting her arm on Mari's shoulder as she glanced at the smeared blood and the pieces of ice.
"Oh god, no. Mari, come on, wake up. It's me..Karin.." She bit her lower lip, shutting her eyes tight and tucking her arm under Mari's legs. Karin got up in one quick motion, holding Mari bridal style as she almost slipped on the ice. Quickly, she ran to the lodge, almost tumbling from time to time due to the weight of holding a person. She ran up stairs, ending up at the infirmary.
She swung open the door with her foot, placing(almost throwing) Mari gently on the bed, running over to get a disinfectant and bandages. The only noises of the room was Karin's occasional cursing of the moon, pills rattling as she moved them around and drawers shutting and opening.