no pain(t) no gain

The personal blog of the one-and-only Hiroki Souma! Just keep doing what you're doing while I get my paints out! Status: Aliiiiive! Affiliated with Despair Apocalypse! If there's a cute-ass pixel right thereabouts -> It was created by Caerwynmun If not forget you ever saw this

[shslorthodontist]

Brace Yourselves [OPEN]

[shslorthodontist]

"Why would you do that for me? I mean, I was no match for… whoever attacked me. I still don’t know, honestly. Even Saito-san could kick me in the shin and I would be sent straight to hospital! Or, in this case, an infirmary? Hmm."

Did they even have an infirmary here? He can’t remember… Oh wait, that’s not the point.

"I… didn’t mean it like that. I’m just… messed up. Saito-san was right. I am a weirdo. A messed up weirdo. Now, apparently, a super cool, messed up weirdo."

He put his arm down and instead started tangling his fingers in his own virtual strands of hair. Staring down at the attempted smile, Akira closed his eyes, trying to remember how it first looked. It was… very bright. It could possibly light up the entire room. He could say beautiful but that would probably be weird. Once he got that image stuck in his head, he opened his eyes once again to compare it to the smile he saw before him. Was it… dimming? It looked sadder, too. Maybe even forced.

"Not that dull. I’m sure things will get better. … Well, not entirely sure, to be honest. Anyways. It’s that stupid bear’s fault. I’m sorry that I couldn’t do anything to help.”

[shslpainterhiroki]

"Because...I liked you a lot, man! I guess not even past tense now, since you're all. Right there, in the not-flesh. Kind of. You don't really stop liking somebody when they're dead, anyway." He stared at his shoes, trying to figure out if the next item on the agenda was really his business. "That's...you don't?...Well, uh. It was Minori-chi, actually. Everybody else figured it out in the end but it still wasn't any better than Kotone-chi." The habitual honorifics tasted like acid. He didn't know either of them, much less consider them friends. And yet, even after everything they did...

"Being weird isn't that bad either, if you've gotta be weird. Like, right now I could say 'oh, you're not weird', but that'd be kind of silly. Messed-up, ehhhh, not so much! Like, who's the one talking to a maybe-ghost over here and getting really emotional about it? Not you, right?"

Maybe it was just the crazy-making motive but he was starting to regret the things that came out of his mouth more and more. Even though during Caerwyn's side of the conversation the embarrassment felt a little less. "...I guess not-entirely-sure is still pretty good odds. But you're definitely still helping, just by being there still! That's one good thing Monobear did, right?"

[shslorthodontist]

Brace Yourselves [OPEN]

[shslorthodontist]

Almost right after, Akira jumped at the slight motion of his fingers and tried doing the same. Apart from the cold, he couldn’t feel a thing. He can’t touch, hold, or interact with anything. A growing pool of loneliness sat deep inside. Just talking is enough for him to forget about his death.

"No, no, it’s fine, really! I understand. I really do. You knew me better than the others and that’s an accomplishment."

Akira scanned him up and down. He looked… a bit off.  Not too different, but enough to notice.

"If anything, I’m the one who looks crazy. I’m a huge creep that towers over my patients, I’m surprised that I even have such a title!"

He tried laughing but it ended up coming out baritone and flat. No. This was supposed to be serious. Akira let out a sigh and attempted to place a hand on Hiroki’s messy fading hair.

"Look at me. You look just like you did when I met you. Sure, you’re… becoming dull… But everyone else is. So don’t lose it, okay? I did and look at me."

[shslpainterhiroki]

"...Ahaha, really? But even then we didn't really talk that much...I was gonna talk to you more and then. All that happened. I wouldn't even leave my room for the whole investigation, man, it was pretty bad."

Hiroki had always considered himself totally unflappable, unable to be made sad! He was a perpetual-motion machine, a ray of sunshine, an utter delight! And yet this all came to a screeching halt the first time something bad ever happened to him. He considered his nice cursed room surrounded by empty ones and was almost glad they were stuck here now.

"Dude, if being tall makes you crazy, then sign me up. Eiiiiiither way I don't really believe it, it's just super cool, and you are super cool. Sorry, no take-backs." He looked up with an attempt at his regular thousand-watt smile but only ended up staring through Caerwyn's arm. Uuugh, his hair, his poor ugly dumb sad hair, and it was getting metaphysically felt up right now and he couldn't even feel it.

"Dull..." The skeleton of a smile clung to his face. "Okay, I can be dull and sane, I guess. Just a little bit. But this wasn't...your fault either."

[shslorthodontist]

Brace Yourselves [OPEN]

[shslorthodontist]

"Despite my size, I feel kind of small in a place like this…"

Staring at the hand that loomed over his shoulder, his own hand instinctively reached for the others but went right through. Akira frowned to himself.

"Whatever floats your boat… Um…  Souma-san. Heheh, I’ll stick with whatever…"

His other hand brushed through his hair nervously. He was a wreck. What if even Hiroki didn’t want to see him? What then? Then nothing. Hologram Akira would spend the rest of his days floating around, like a ghost.

Upon hearing the next few words, Akira perked up almost immediately.

"I m… I missed you too."

[shslpainterhiroki]

The hologram didn't feel like anything. For a second he'd imagined if he actually allowed himself to ruin the imagine it would feel like putting his hand in icy water, or he'd only be able to retrieve a stump of an arm. Instead it was just. A projection of a hand. Less substantial than a ghost. Automatically his fingers curled up as if he could hold it.

"I probably should have talked to you earlier, but this whole...thing really freaked me out. Definitely my bad. I didn't think you'd be you but you are, you're still something anyway, right? Or, man, I don't know, what if I never actually knew you that well and this is just wishful thinking, maybe it's the stuff Monobear gave us. Hey, Caerwyn-chi, do I look okay to you? Not crazy or anything?" 

Hiroki couldn't even pretend he did. His face had taken on a nervous pallor and his smile felt uncomfortable on his face and his hair dye was fading, the worst tragedy of all, he felt like he was slowly going colorless. Just the expectation of his mind falling apart felt likely to cause it.

[shslorthodontist]

Brace Yourselves [OPEN]

[shslorthodontist]

Turning around, he saw familiar multi-coloured hair. Someone that was one of the last of the people he wanted to see. Not that he despised him or anything, more like the opposite.

Because they were… Friends.

"Yes, yes, quite a while, unfortunately… I never really knew this place. Even my hologram self can’t make it’s way around without getting lost!"

Akira… It’s going to take a while to get used to.

"Ahaha, call me whatever you’d like. I’ll still call you Sir Paintsalot. A nickname that will follow me until I di— Oh, never mind that!"

Akira chuckled nervously. He felt slightly queasy and rather embarrassed too. Weird. Holograms weren’t supposed to have feelings. At least, that’s how he thinks they work.

[shslpainterhiroki]

"Dude, it's okay, I don't get it either. I mean, if we're gonna be trapped here forever, this whole giant self-sufficient city thing is way too much. Like, everywhere's gonna get boring at some point so why do we need six hundred whole buildings? Is it gonna make us feel more at home or something?"

Hiroki tilted his head, putting out a curious hand as if he could still give Caerwyn a reassuring pap on the shoulder. The blurry edges didn't help, but he could still imagine, right? The hand stopped an inch from the hologram like a mime hitting an invisible wall. From his vantage point it looked almost normal.

"Well..." he blinked, mind skipping on the half-word, a defective record player, before skimming past it completely. "I think...I'd rather still call you Caerwyn-chi or something, just 'cause I knew--know--you as that already. And it sounds cooler." Somehow he found it in himself to grin widely. "You don't even sound different at all. I missed you, man."

[shslorthodontist]

Brace Yourselves [OPEN?]

Technology sure is amazing, isn’t it? Caerwyn— No. Akira could see. Sure, he wasn’t able to touch, feel or hold anything but that didn’t matter. These… What were they called again? Right, holograms. These holograms are real nifty, it’s like you never actually died!! Oh, how he would love to see the looks on their faces when… When… When what?

Did anyone actually want to see him? No. Impossible.

It didn’t matter, Akira was eventually going to see someone anyway. Whether it was him approaching them or somebody confronting him themselves. Honestly, he expected nothing.

However, he did want to see the face of his killer…

[shslpainterhiroki]

This motive announcement had been pretty obviously the most terrifying one yet. Hiroki could deal with not-so-secret secrets and destroyed things of not much importance, but messing with his head was where he drew the line! Not that there was really anything he could do about it. Except for fight it, of course, and wander around a lot to clear his head! Obviously he wasn't going to succumb to this crazy thing!

This line of thought comically exploded when in the midst of his wanderings, having just exited the arcade in annoyance, he saw a familiar gray-and-blue silhouette. For a horrified second Hiroki considered he'd already lost his mind, before he remembered Monobear's announcement about the holograms all that time ago, holograms he'd never visited out of guilt or shame or the possibility of an uncanny valley that'd taint his memories of those people forever. Either way, it looked like the dead wouldn't be escaping him now. What was there to do but approach?

"Heh, hey, long time no see, Dutch brofriend! Oh, man, is that even a thing I can say anymore? Maybe just Caerwyn-chi. Or Akira-chi? Names up to you still. Did you lose weight, or is that just the whole 2D projection thing?" His hands were stuck sheepishly in his pockets and he rocked back and forth on his heels constantly. How did you address a recreation of a dead person?

[iamjapanese]

Abby Kasonik（American）

Untitled Yellow   2009   acrylic on hardboard

Untitled Hanabi    2013   acrylic and chalk on board

Untitled Ocean   2012   acrylic & encaustic on hardboard

Untitled Purple   2012   acrylic on board

100 Years   2012   mixed media on board

Untitled Time Out #5    2010   acrylic on hardboard

[shslpainterhiroki]

inevitable beach fanservice episode (Open)

[shslpainterhiroki]

"A label that’s similar enough…kinda like you and Finch, maybe? Oh man, do you guys get into some kind of twin shenanigans or something? Quirky mishaps everywhere, but like, under a layer of psychological horror. Man, I didn’t even think this kind of thing actually existed a couple days ago. Learn something new every day, I guess."

"…I guess you’re kinda right about that, especially if he wasn’t actually gonna…" He dug his feet around in the sand for a second in lieu of finishing the statement. Nothing makes a person feel better than burying your feet in sand! "I don’t even wanna think about that, this whole thing is just way too weird. Honestly it was just creepy that everybody else had so much heavy stuff. Mine was boring.”

For all Hiroki’s set in stone feelings about puppets, that seemed like a pretty zen thing to say. “Y’know, you actually don’t sound like that bad of a dude. Were you gonna swim or are you just looking around?”

[superduperhappilyeverafter-blog]

"Eh… If I’m awake in the daylight in public, that usually means somethin’ really bad happened to Finch. I just try an’ get my body outta there as soon as possible. In general, I guess ya’ could look at everything else like some sort a’ ‘twin shenanigan’ bundle though. I never really thought ta’ look at it that way, y’know? Finch don’t really… let me do much…” he trailed off, his tone melancholic.

"Before I woke up here, I made an effort to make myself look different than Finch actually," he laughed, trying to bounce back with his previous energy. The process had been tedious, but it had been worth it back then. "Lemme tell ya’, makeup ain’t too shabby for when you wanna get the job. I’d think I looked like a real casanova back in the day ahahah!"

"Huh? What was your possession? You say yours an’ I’ll tell ya’ what ours was. A win-win deal, eh?” he suggested, a wink thrown into the mix. “Thanks. I’d like to think I’m more of a Michael Jackson bad if I had to be any type of bad,” Cero snickered.

"I wasn’t really expectin’ ta’ swim today, but I could if I had somethin’ better than my briefs. I’m not really up for full-out fanservice, y’know? Gotta be in the right mood."

[shslpainterhiroki]

"Oh, geez. That seriously sucks, man. I mean...I guess you're kind of a package deal? Wow, where do you even go when you're not, uh." He gestured vaguely at the entirety of what was currently Cero's body. If he had to be honest this was only a fraction of the weird excitable questions he felt like asking. This was pretty much the coolest thing ever.

"Look different...? How much makeup would that even take? Wouldn't you have to be a quick-change artist too? And how different could you even get?..." Aaand the weird excitable question dike springs a leak. Better plug it with his thumb and just stand here minding his own business for a few hours. "I mean, uh, you don't really have to answer that all if you don't want to. Ehehe."

"...Okay, don't tell anybody, but for some reason he jacked my underpants." He stared down at himself as if checking that yes, they were still there on his body. "I still have no clue why or how. I didn't actually bring a lot of stuff and I've been painting with food since we got here, okay!"

It was only after he remembered the actual mechanics of the trial that he did a double-take at the mention of swimming. "Wait a sec, can you even do that without even. Uh. Changing back?"

[shslpainterhiroki]

inevitable beach fanservice episode (Open)

[superduperhappilyeverafter-blog]

"Nah, it wouldn’t. A label that’s similar ‘nough and misleadin’ can cause some mishap ta’ happen though." Looking at you, low-budget movies with similar names to really popular movies.

"I dunno… Any guy who can get anythin’ done has to have some talent with words. Especially if it inspires people to take another’s life. How’d he get all your stuff and secrets to use against ya’? Probably weaved through a system of people. Just my guess though.

"A puppet… they can bring both pleasure and despair. Like a lie. That’s what manipulation does, y’know? Gives ya’ at least two sides of a singular coin."

[shslpainterhiroki]

"A label that's similar enough...kinda like you and Finch, maybe? Oh man, do you guys get into some kind of twin shenanigans or something? Quirky mishaps everywhere, but like, under a layer of psychological horror. Man, I didn't even think this kind of thing actually existed a couple days ago. Learn something new every day, I guess."

"...I guess you're kinda right about that, especially if he wasn't actually gonna..." He dug his feet around in the sand for a second in lieu of finishing the statement. Nothing makes a person feel better than burying your feet in sand! "I don't even wanna think about that, this whole thing is just way too weird. Honestly it was just creepy that everybody else had so much heavy stuff. Mine was boring."

For all Hiroki's set in stone feelings about puppets, that seemed like a pretty zen thing to say. "Y'know, you actually don't sound like that bad of a dude. Were you gonna swim or are you just looking around?"

[shslpainterhiroki]

inevitable beach fanservice episode (Open)

[superduperhappilyeverafter-blog]

"Hm… Hiroki, right? How ‘bout I call ya’ Davinci then? It’ll be like Leonardo Da Vinci, and then your works would be worth stealing and sold on the black market," he snickered. "I’m just joshin’ ya’ though… No use in stealin’ when you’re stuck in such a dank place for the rest of eternity."

Crossing his arms, he nodded. “Y’know, I might’ve believed ya’ since you’re an artist, right? They go an’ study from real life, don’t they?” Shrugging his shoulders, he continued, “But whatever— y’ can blow your cover. Ain’t like it’s much to hide anyway other than pride.” 

"Monobear… he’s somethin’, alright. A real persuasive guy with the powers to get what he wants. Whoever the hell he is anyway. I don’t think he’d make us drop dead though by his own hands. A puppet show is always funner when it lasts longer, I’d think," he rambled not sure exactly what to say. Had he been cautious of his words, he might have tried and stayed silent to create a more mysterious atmosphere, but that was all in the past now.

[shslpainterhiroki]

"Um, that's...good, I guess? But I'm pretty sure calling me something else wouldn't change how good my stuff was?" He wasn't sure how to feel about this guy being super great at being a criminal, but talent was talent, he supposed. The thought of one of his paintings being stolen from a gallery wasn't super disappointing, anyway. Kind of made him think of spy movies, actually.

He shrugged, looking once more over his shoulder at the water. Obviously he didn't have to admit anything, but he just felt kind of silly if he didn't. What was the point of trying to save face, anyway. After everything that had happened. Kid stuff.

"Well, yeah, there's this huge city and all these people keeping it running, whoever they are. I wouldn't say persuasive, I guess. Just kinda creepy." Even considering what he'd said last trial, how he definitely wouldn't have let them all starve...augh, that left a bad taste in his mouth. "I guess that's his game then. Which is dumb, because puppets are dumb."

[shslpainterhiroki]

inevitable beach fanservice episode (Open)

[superduperhappilyeverafter-blog]

Indeed one student would walk by. In fact, that one person was none other than the thief. While he had not been in any mood to undress or search for some outfit to go swim in, he had found himself in the sand anyway if only because the gate had lead him there.

He was sure to regret such an action (he had never really been a fan of the beach anyway), but he found himself walking deeper into the area and more westward. It was only because there was a person there, he mentally repeated to himself as a way to justify his actions. 

"Oi, you’re that… artsy guy, right?" Shit, he needed to brush up on names. Even with a convenient chart, he’d just go and forget which name went to which face he supposed. "The water ice cold or are ya’ just afraid?" he asked dully, looking out to see where the ocean might end.

[shslpainterhiroki]

Hiroki turned half-around in his spot, giving--yeah, definitely not Finch this time, it was the other guy--a cheerful wave. "Artsy guy! Heh, yeah, that's me. Still worse than..." He was about to say 'Sir Paintsalot', but his grin died halfway through that train of thought. No more thinking about that stuff, dumbass! "Well, I guess as far as nicknames go, you're trying? I'm Hiroki! I don't think we actually met, either, except at the trial which was really crazy so I'm not counting it."

Taking this as an excuse to move farther away from the water, he stood up, brushing sand off his bare legs. "Ehhh, I haven't actually tried it yet, but I'm definitely not scared! I'm just admiring the view is all! Nothing wrong with that!" Before Cero could reasonably interject, he sighed loudly and amended himself. "Okay, maybe a little bit. Then again, this is Monobear we're talking about."

[youngdopenproud-deactivated2017]

'Primary Sky' - Scott Naismith

[fer1972]

Joe Mangrum creates beautiful Sand Paintings with his Hands

[triptical]

I met this guy in Washington Square Park once. He was really really cool.

[shslpainterhiroki]

inevitable beach fanservice episode (Open)

Okay, so people were dying around him in droves, literally--his room was surrounded by empty ones on both sides, and it was starting to get really creepy trying to get to sleep while knowing that--but that was no reason to completely break down. Caerwyn's...thing had been really shocking and terrible especially so soon after they decided to be friends, but since then Hiroki hadn't been really close to anyone, despite his attempts at socializing wherever he ended up. So he was resolving right now that he was going to stay optimistic, even if...well, even if it killed him was a bad expression, but it expressed how serious he was!

So with that, he had decided as soon as the new area opened up that he was going to swim all over this stupid beach! Which is how he discovered himself sitting on the sand in naught but his boxers (just as paint-splattered as all of his other clothes, how did that even happen) working up the courage to put a toe in the water. I mean, considering Monobear, it might have been acid or something, or there could be poisonous octopi, or jellyfish, and he'd never actually been to a beach without his painting stuff before, and really this was a bad idea all around. But he'd already decided he was going to do this, so do this he would!

Maybe someone would walk by and he could get conveniently distracted. People should be flocking to this area just to check it out, anyway.

[whisper-through-the-chrysalis]

I Can’t Paint by aartishinde

[tres13]

This is really intense for me, because this is exactly what artist’s block feels like. You’ve got color all around you, all over you, inside of you, in your fucking soul, and you can’t get it out on that canvas, that sketchpad, that digital screen that just sits there and yawns, white and infinite in front of you like an enemy, or worse, like a lover you can’t hold because they’re too far away. You sense what you could do if the lines and shapes and colors would come to you, but it all stays just beyond your straining fingers, no matter how hard you reach for it. It’s worse than a sense of your own inadequacy; it’s fear and it’s pain, and it’s everything you feel like you could accomplish but can’t because somehow, the colors won’t transfer from your hands, from your being, onto that white surface. You can’t paint. You can’t even begin.

[who-]

Artist Ed Fairburn continues to push his creative limits with these new map portraits. In the piece shown above, a Bristol street map has been carefully cut and drawn on, revealing the side of a woman’s face. 

[shslpainterhiroki]

i did not check myself, and thus wrecked myself

[minorihonda]

Minori stared blankly at the gate to the new area Monobear had opened up, his breath coming in little spurts that he could see in the cold air. He supposed it was to congratulate them for bending under the pressure of the situation and resorting to murder. Murder. In his life before Hopes Peak and this… incident, Minori had never given much thought to the word. It was dismissed, as he had thought it would never touch him. There was nary a possibility of murder in the small town he called home. Now it was part of his reality, but in a dark and subtle way.

When the Linguist cut his food with a knife, he remembered the knife which was stuck in Rihito’s abdomen and the blood pooled around it. The thought had been enough to make his hands shake at the time, and he had had to set down his fork and knife for several minutes. Not so subtle was the image of Kotone’s mutilated body, her skin puckered with scars and peeling away from the bone, every time he closed his eyes. He had woken from a fitful slumber earlier that day, a cold sweat over his body as he realized that it was just a dream and that Kotone’s twisted corpse had not been dragging itself towards him.

The Linguist puffed another breath of cold air, tightening his scarf around his neck. All he wanted to do was forget - forget the murders and the execution and especially the way he had made a fool of himself by having a panic attack on the front steps of the town hall. He thought a silent prayer, wishing that none of his fellow students would estrange him or think differently of him based on his little… performance.

With a mind bent on forgetting, Minori entered the area, immediately noticing a certain painter smearing his hands in an impromptu graffiti on the walls of the 109 Building. It only took a moment to recognize Kotone’s face in the work of art, and Minori once more saw her corpse behind his eyelids. He ran over to Hiroki, and exclaimed, “What the hell? Why would you…? You’re never going to forget her if you display her face right out here in the open.”

[shslpainterhiroki]

Hiroki was just putting the finishing touches on Kotone's open rapturous mouth (highlighted in red, it might have been a portal to hell if he had given himself more time) when he was startled out of his reverie by a voice behind him. Curses! Caught red-handed, as it were! God, man, this was no time for puns! With a look somewhere between blank incredulity and being caught with his hand in the cookie jar, he dusted his hands off over the now completely stained strainer, which predictably did jack shit. Haha, he looked like he'd just committed a murder or something! Hilarious!

The person he saw when he turned around wasn't Caerwyn was unfamiliar, but that had never stopped him before. Totally ignoring the scandalized look, he offered a chipper wave, probably flicking them with eggy paint as he did so. His masterpiece was going to set nicely. He'd used this recipe before. "Uuuuh, hey there! Before we go any further, I'm Hiroki Souma, what's your name!" And then he extended a still-gunky hand for a few seconds before realizing and pulling back.

Instead he took that hand and used it to gesture widely to the painting like a circus ringmaster. Isn't it beautiful. "Ahaha, wow, sorry, I'm starting to figure I could've put this in a way less conspicuous spot, but I just felt like if I didn't get it down somewhere I would explode, you know? I didn't really think...forgetting about it was an option, either way." Considerably more antsy than usual, he had put his hands in his pockets for about ten seconds before he realized his mistake. Eh, whatever. Paint added character. "At least you're not gonna call me a blasphemer, right?"

[mymodernmet]

Neon by Hid Saib

Portraits of people with neon fluorescent paint on their faces.