☆ѕмιlℓε!☆

#☆☆Friendship!!!☆☆#☆☆I love you!!☆☆#pragmaticpolymath

Failed Isolation

A very lengthy silence followed from the librarian, there, he lowering his book to stare, deadpan, at the other. He flinched and shrank away at the physical touch, giving a stare that probably made it clear touching was a definite no-go (at least for now), then sighing. "….You’re going to keep insisting all these things until I stop trying to push you away, aren’t you." It wasn’t a question, more of a theoretical statement. Shaking his head, he then mused, again. “You’re also not going to give up until I allow you to sit here and chat, as well, I’d assume. …Very well. I’m willing to allow that much. Just….please don’t touch me again.”

There was little point trying to push someone like this away…they just took being pushed away as a challenge, and clearly he wasn’t getting anywhere with that. Sigh.

"…Hiroyuki-kun it is, then. I am Shizuka Megumi."

#shsllibrarian #carnival pre-gaming

His deadpan stare caused the boy to shrink back as well, worried that all of his hard work had gone to waste in that moment, offending him to the point of where he was unwilling to befriend him. He was quiet for a few moments, looking down and away in shame. Even as he kept talking, it was hard for him to look back up to his gaze. He knew it was more than likely taboo to initiate physical contact with the stranger, but he did it anyway.

He was glad for the approval, however, as his eyes flicked upward at him. "Thanks, Shizu," He murmured gratefully. "And I'm sorry for what I did. I'll be sure to avoid it as best as I can."

.umbrage ➝ ◤open◥

↬ ◤I see.◥

The auburn-haired boy only seemed to get more and more distressed the more she spoke. Ritsuka had thought she was performing a kind gesture—was he misunderstood, or was she? In either case…the library hardly seemed the place to make a scene. Setting her book aside, she gave the flower another gentle nudge toward the other. A peace offering, of sorts.

↬ ◤…It is not my intention to be cold. I didn’t mean to upset you.◥

He seemed upset, at least. There were many things that Ritsuka knew, and many things she could comprehend with ease—but that just wasn’t one of them. She understood that social interaction was important to human longevity. To happiness. What she didn’t understand was why people craved it so badly. Why fight so hard for something that could so easily be lost? It simply wasn’t worth the risk—it simply wasn’t practical.

Granted, practicality seemed fairly low on this young boy’s priorities.

↬ ◤…My name is Kamata. Ritsuka Kamata…and I accept your apology.◥

#pragmaticpolymath #carnival pre-gaming

When the boy heard that her intentions weren't ill-mannered, he calmed down a good amount as he took a deep breath to recompose himself. Within a few short moments, the excess blood drained from his face, allowing his face to return to its tan hue.

"It's okay! I wasn't upset, really! Just a bit embarrassed that I got caught..." The maroon-haired pierrot turned bashful, his hands clasping together as he awkwardly shuffled his shoes. "But I promise, I'm okay! You don't have to worry, okay?" He flashed her an assuring grin, giving the girl a thumbs up in return.

It was almost as if the forgiveness was the best thing he had heard in weeks, for Hiroyuki had smiled the widest he could in that moment, his eyes glimmering. "I'm so glad! Thank you so much!" He exclaimed, instinctively reaching out to hug his new friend to the point of almost squeezing her senseless. "My name is Hitotose Hiroyuki, and I promise to be a super super great friend, Ritsu!!!"

Failed Isolation

Shizuka took a step back at seeing the other’s hand raise, lowering his book to stare at it seriously until it put itself down, but then shook his head. “I can’t really agree with that. I’m just as bad as them, am I not? A good person would still trust others regardless of what had happened. Logically speaking, this no doubt makes me an untrustworthy person. However, that suits me fine, if people hate me. It means they are less likely to know if I help them silently from shadows. I have always, even before bad events, been a reserved person. Now even more so, but…I’m rambling.”

Shaking his head, Shizuka mused: "This is all just theory. I won’t argue with the statement you yourself are strong, but I am most certainly not. I never will be. Why not go and befriend someone else, instead of wasting your time with me?"

It was clear Shizuka had been pushing others away for so long, thinking that they too, would betray…that to have someone so innocent and who he did not wish to see go down his own road genuinely concerned for his sake made him quite philosophical, to state matters about himself - and yet, he honestly didn’t KNOW how to let people in any more.

He was, as he truthfully said. Not a strong person in that regard, and it was doubtful THAT would be fixed right away. So it was better if the young boy went somewhere else, in Shizuka’s mind, instead of wasting time with himself. That was pure logic.

"I don't hate you," The pierrot was quick to reply as the stranger continued to put himself down more and more. "I just met you, only a few minutes ago, and I know that you can be-- No, you are-- a good person!" Hiroyuki had never been one to push others away, for he always longed for friendship despite the cruelty that he had gone though. However, he knew that the other was good on the inside, as much as he denied it. "Please, you can trust me. I can't hurt anyone, not even myself!" He laughed at his own statement, despite the rather eerie undertones of it.

Taking a deep breath, he was slow to move his hand to gently tap his shoulder. Not enough to trigger a lot of shock, but enough to get the idea. "I'm staying here with you because I believe in you, and I want to help you!" The pierrot's smile was friendly again as he continued to speak. "I don't think spending time with you would be a waste. Even if I can't help you at all, I want you to know what it's like to have someone who cares about you, because I care about you! I care about everyone, even those who have hurt me!"

Even if the other had refused, Hiro was set on helping him emerge from his shell. It would take a lot of work, and a lot of protesting from his newly-found friend, but he would try his best! "What is your name? I'm Hitotose Hiroyuki, but you can call me Hiro if you want!"

Failed Isolation

…Huh. Looked like there was little point in cautioning the young man to be careful, for he had already evidently had the world turn on him. Shizuka noticed how quickly he took back his words about bruises, scars, and burns, but did not speak of it. “…It makes you a better person? Hah. That’s not necessarily true all the time. I mean, look at me, the cold, aloof person I am. I’m not someone who could be called a good person, am I? Bad things sometimes just make people lose faith and trust in the world, and close themselves off to prevent it happening again…I sincerely do hope that doesn’t happen to you.”

That said, Shizuka re-opened his book, musing: “You are a very innocent person, to think such things. If you do require assistance getting through bad situations, I suppose I could help. I know lots of things.”

His smile softened as the other asked his question, sadness becoming obvious in his eyes as he nodded. "You are a good person. You are hurt, because someone awful hurt you. However, that doesn't make you a bad person. That makes them one." He thought about placing a hand on his shoulder, and his hand almost worked on its own until it froze mid-action and then fell back down. Perhaps, he shouldn't try with physical contact.

"Something is just making things harder for us, for some reason..." He seemed to stare into space now, lost in though. "Maybe there's a lot in store for us. We're strong people, I think. Especially since you've gone through what you've gone through. I won't pry..." He pressed his fingertips against the surface of his mask once again. "Whatever happens..." The pierrot's voice quickly trailed off as he kept thinking to himself.

"...If you're hurt, you have to try and let yourself heal," He murmured. "However, I feel like instead of trying to heal yourself, you shut yourself off from those who were willing to help you..." He sighed as he said this. "It's not healthy to do that to yourself... Please, try and heal. I'll do whatever I can to help. You deserve happiness, too!"

Failed Isolation

Regarding the young boy’s question of if that was what he truly thought, Shizuka found himself unable to respond. There was a time he had been naive and trusted in others. Well, that had blown up in his face, and led to him being as closed off as he was today. Yet, could he truly say all people were the same, intellectually speaking as he did? His grandfather had not been like everyone else, so even if the boy was making a ploy to garner trust and then break it, he had a point.

And so Shizuka could not answer the question, closing his eyes in thought. However, the other sitting next to him made him blink, and move slightly away. The boy talked about having always been alone before coming here. He’d grown used to it, but never liked it. As such, seeing as he didn’t have to be lonely any more, he was trying to make friends.

"… So you’re willing to risk the possibility of bad people to make friends. The world is not quite so forgiving as that, I’m sad to say. That’s why I consider books friends. They can’t betray you or use you like some people do. You should be more cautious.”

He spoke from experience, there. Even if he was an aloof person…the last thing he wanted to see was a person who quite clearly had NOT experienced the bad things of the world have to go through what he did.

"Of course!" He exclaimed, as if the answer was totally obvious. "Sure, when people use or betray you, it hurts! It hurts a lot! But it only makes you a better person in the end! You can't let them beat you!" He scooted to face him, his fists clenched in determination. "Every scratch, bruise, scar, or burn on my body turned me into a better person!..."

However, he fell silent immediately, a shocked expression appearing on his features as he realized he had said too much. "...Ah, um. That's what I'd say if I had any of those. Haha!" He laughed it off quickly, keeping his smile wide as he tried to continue his train of thought.

"I think everything happens for a reason. If something is sent our way, it's to make us better in the end! We have to fight every force and obstacle that is sent against us!" He was obviously getting pretty riled up, almost quivering with excitement as he tried his best to convey his point to the silver-haired student.

.umbrage ➝ ◤open◥

“…Lonely?”

↬ ◤…While I appreciate your concern, I can assure you I’m fine. I don’t need anything.◥

With the way Ritsuka had responded, it was almost like she was turning down a drink refill instead of company or even a possible friend. Had she even heard him? Ritsuka’s own words were nearly a mumble as she slipped a bookmark into her book, moving to return the boy his flower. She vaguely…recognized the boy from…somewhere. Somewhere she couldn’t quite place her finger on.

She just needed to put the pieces together.

↬ ◤…You’ve been following me.◥

It wasn’t stated as a question, but demanded an explanation nonetheless. Yes, she was sure of it now. She had thought something had been amiss since she’d come here. The feeling of being watched—followed, even. Like a shadow. She would even catch glances of someone on occasion. The whole ordeal was a bit of an unsettling one—she had almost come to the conclusion that this was typical of the school. Admittedly, she did feel more at ease in knowing that this pursuer was so small and…cute. Statistically much more harmless.

Of course, statistics alone couldn’t clear this boy of suspicion, regardless of how small and cute he looked. He’d said that Ritsuka looked like she needed a friend, but—someone who follows a person for days in hopes of striking a friendship…

Isn’t that the lonely person?

Despite every bone, every nerve ending, every cell in her body fighting against her, Ritsuka set her book aside and gently pushed the flower back toward the small and cute, albeit oddly dressed, boy.

↬ ◤…You look like you need a friend.◥

#carnival pre-gaming #pragmaticpolymath #rip hiroyuki

The boy had been so quickly shot down that he paused for a few moments, his brain not working fast enough to figure out how to respond. His friendly advances had been rejected before, but this was a new record. He felt a little sad because of this, but he tried his best not to make it apparent. With his eyebrows drooping slightly, he kept his smile strong as he laughed off the awkward auras between them. "S-sorry about that, then--"

...Oh, she had noticed.

Within moments, his face had turned red with embarrassment as she pointed out his 'activity' since school started. "W-well, I mean... You seemed lonely after seeing you a few times... I-I went to see if you ever really spent time with anyone, but..." His heart sank, knowing that what he did was wrong. "I'm sorry for what I did... I just don't want people to go through the same loneliness that I did..."

Fumbling on his words, he shut himself up as she pushed the flower back over to him. Was this a sign of kindness, or was he just misinterpreting it? "I-I have friends!" He waved his hands in front of him, as if to try and dismiss that idea. "...One or two, but still!"

Failed Isolation

Pausing a moment to flick his gaze up and down the stranger - a young man with gaudy, bright clothes and a mask of his own, but more a physical one rather than a invisible one like he himself wore - Shizuka snapped his book shut, answering the question as straight forward as possible.

"I come here often as I do to read books in peace. Nothing more, nothing less." Though he had hoped the conversation would end there, the young man persisted, giving a grin so wide it honestly seemed to take up his whole face, nattering on about himself being someone to talk to and who could keep secrets…and someone who could assist sad or lonesome people.

"….I have no problems with being alone."

Ah, but the young boy would probably notice a slight flicker in Shizuka’s mask, there, even if Shizuka himself had not. Shizuka had not met the other’s gaze at all when he’d said that, which was a vital clue when usually - despite hating conversation - he kept eye contact…

The reader's sharp statement caused his smile to fade away into something emptier, along with a hint of sadness. "...Is that what you really think?" He murmured, sitting down next to the other without really thinking about it, himself. "There was a time, before I came here, where I was always alone." His hand rose to touch his mask, as if the touch of it would help him recall his memories. "I got used to it, but that never meant I liked it..."

With that, he shook his own sadness away, the smile reappearing on his face. "Since I don't have to be lonely anymore, I'm trying my best to make friends. I may not be the smartest, or the politest, but I can say I'm trying my best..."

Oh. He was rambling to himself again. Looking back over to the literati, he waved his hand as if to dismiss himself. "Do you consider the books to be your friends? I never was one for reading, myself, but... If that's what you like, I don't have any problems with it, I guess..." He looked around for a moment, before speaking again. "I just... If you need someone to talk to, I'm here, because books can't talk!"

Failed Isolation

Another day, another period of keeping to himself and not talking to anyone. At least, that had been Shizuka Megumi’s idea in today: he had no desire to talk to anyone, or risk a betrayal happening again. As such, he’d taken his favourite book to the school gardens, still in bounds of the school, but quiet.

Lots of plants and flowers. Sitting under a large tree, it’s leafy branches shielding him from view, Shizuka adjusted his glasses and read. However, he was barely sitting there but a minute before the peace was disrupted, a voice cutting through his nerves.

"……It’s rather rude to interrupt someone who’s busy reading, you know."

The librarian took his blue gaze off the pages off his book a moment to give the person an unamused stare at cutting his private reading time. …If he just stayed stoic and cold, people wouldn’t get close to him. They wouldn’t find the secret, and all would be well.

If there was anywhere in the school that Hiroyuki considered to be his favorite area, it would be the garden. Perhaps it was due to the relaxing atmosphere, or the feeling of the sun's rays against his back. Also, the flowers were something that he enjoyed seeing every day! The vibrant colors, along with the aromas that emitted from the blooms, made this place special. The garden was springing with life, even if it wasn't the kind where you bustled about and yelled your thoughts out to the world. That was okay, though. He liked this 'life', too.

As the pierrot wandered about the gardens as usual, a figure caught his eye: a student with fluffy, silver hair and a blue suit, his book seeming to touch his forehead as he read with impressive focus. He had spotted the other student two or three times since he arrived at the academy, though he was certain Hiro had missed many more appearances of the book-obsessed teen.

It was a spur-of-the-moment decision when Hiroyuki decided to finally approach him, lifting his hand to attempt a wave only to have a piercing stare sent his way, causing his visible eye to lower along with his hand.

"I, um," He didn't expect the other to be so... cold. There was no other way that he could describe it. "...I'm sorry to disrupt you, but..." Oh, his words were getting caught in his throat. "...Are things okay? You know, like... um.... I see you here a lot..."

However, he was quick to fall out of his nervous sputtering, his eyes finally meeting the others as he tried to give the other his biggest smile. "Y'know, if you want someone to talk to, I'm always here, even if you don't know me! I can keep secrets, I promise!" His eyes seemed to glitter as he spoke with confidence.

"If you're ever sad, or lonely, or whatever! You can always come to me, okay? I came here because I'm worried that you're sad! It's not fun to be alone all the time!"

.umbrage ➝ ◤open◥

um·brage /ˈəmbrij/ [noun] ➝

the slightest indication or vaguest feeling of suspicion, doubt, hostility, or the like.

Ever since her arrival at Hope’s Peak, Ritsuka had found a sort of sanctuary within the school’s massive library. It was nearly a maze, really. Rows upon rows upon rows upon rows. It was nothing short of incredible.

She could hide here forever if she wanted to.

…Or, perhaps not. Even with her eyes buried in the sets upon sets upon sets of words in front of her, a keen pair of ears had picked up on a shuffle of footsteps behind her. So she delved deeper into her world of words, and waited for the intruder to go away.

She waited.

Waited.

Waited until seemed like this infiltrator wasn’t leaving until they were addressed. And, only after an enduring moment of silence, she spoke.

↬ ◤…Do you need something?◥

The girl’s tone wasn’t hostile, but it wasn’t exactly friendly, either. Perhaps cautious was the best word to use here.

Whatever the case, she doesn’t seem to be paying the stranger much attention… Her eyes hadn’t even strayed from the book.