kimono connoisseur (✿◠‿◠)

Captain-Commander of the Gotei 13; appreciator of flower petals, sake, and my lovely Nanao-chan!

[shunsuisuggestions]

Don't click on any… things about sunglasses? Eyewear commercials? I was supposed to read this announcement but I'm not entirely sure what it says, it was in my pocket when I spilled the sake and the ink's all smudged now.

[presumenothing]

somewhere, even now, in spring 

or, 5k words pieced together from the bleach fic i started writing in 2016 and never quite finished for… a whole host of reasons. still, i like the parts i did end up writing enough to dust them off enough to post, even if it’s not quite like what i originally pictured it to be.

(this fic also owes its entire existence to my amazing co-conspirators in the bleach suggestions community, especially @nanaosuggestions and @jushirosuggestions –  we might be scattered on the four winds of fandom now, but i can’t overstate how much i enjoyed our time together, and i dearly hope you’re all keeping well in these times!! with love from your occasional captain-commander ♡)

[shunsuisuggestions]

ooc: alright so it’s embarrassing as heck reblogging this here because I’m not quite as brazen as Shunsui but this really was inspired by the community so I wanted to put it here, regardless of the fact that it’s about… four years late in the completion. aha. 

(the procrastination is one thing we do have in common, alas.)

[shunsuisuggestions]

Don't forget to keep in touch with your friends, even if you can't meet them in person! Alternatives include serenading them with song from a nearby rooftop.

[shunsuisuggestions]

How's running Soul Society going for you?

Well, we’re trying out this new “work from home” thing, which… admittedly isn’t working out the best so far? I’m not sure if the Eleventh Division has extinguished the fire that is their barracks yet.

Also, the butterfly lines keep getting overloaded. 

[shunsuisuggestions]

ATTN: ALL DIVISIONS PRIORITY: VERY HIGH I ACCIDENTALLY DRENCHED THE PREVIOUS LIST AND NEED TO REWRITE IT BEFORE NANAO-CHAN FINDS OUT

Please Help to Update!! Official Gotei List of Things Not To Prank on April Fool’s Day

Nanao-chan’s books

My sake stash

Almost anything belonging to Hitsugaya-kun

Aizen

Jushiro’s medicine cabinet (really, just don’t)

Any black cats in the vicinity, whether or not you think they’re Yoruichi-san (you’re always wrong either way)

[kiyonesuggestions]

I hear there's a nasty human illness!! Be sure to wash your hands for 20 seconds and keep away from most people.

[shunsuisuggestions]

Fortunately, there are many ways to serenade your local beauties even from more than a metre away! 

…though everyone in the vicinity may or may not get very annoyed by the excessively loud love ballads and fan-powered flower petal scatters. (Still totally worth it, no matter what @nanaosuggestions​ says!)

[shunsuisuggestions]

Figure out what a “new bleach anime” is…?

[aizensamasuggestions]

*Sips tea* Do you have any memories of your parents? Would you like a cup of tea?

Tea would be lovely.

However, I have no memory of my birth parents whatsoever. The only thing I know about them is conjecture, which is that my mother must not have had much in the way of spiritual pressure or my birth would not have killed her.

I can only guess, given what happened to me after her death, that my father was… absent, dead, or a nobleman with no interest in a bastard. 

But, I really have no idea. 

Perhaps my birth father is still around somewhere. i do notice that my hair much resembles @shunsuisuggestions, who does have a reputation as a runaround…which could explain why @jushirosuggestions has been known to show me a spot of kindness.

Would you like my impression of the people I grew up with that I do remember?  I had a teacher who failed me somewhat spectacularly, some Buddhist monks that I cared quite a bit for, followed by a very nondescript set tea farmers. Yes, I grew up around tea. Given how backbreaking tea picking is, I should hate the stuff, but instead I find myself quite the snob about it thanks to my upbringing.

Were you hoping for something more dramatic?

I’m so very sorry to disappoint. 

Perhaps I betrayed the Soul Society not out of some deep seated psychological hatred of it, but because it is such a broken system that any fool can see needs to be burned to the ground and rebuilt. 

Have you ever wondered how it is that @tousensuggestions came to be such good friends? A large part of it was a shared understanding of the injustices in the world and desire to fix it, at any cost.

[shunsuisuggestions]

I’d say that it’s rather ironic how you turned out if you did in fact hear those monks’ teachings in your early days, but then again I’ve never been one to know much about religion. Tea, at least, I can somewhat manage.

Also, I’m… not quite sure I actually know what your hair looks like, under all that hair gel and/or hypnosis. Plus @jushirosuggestions​ literally could not be unkind to a fly (and I mean literally literally, I’m fairly certain he lost a practice match at least once because of it).

[shunsuisuggestions]

Don’t forget to wonder (aloud) why February went past so quickly. Especially those pesky deadlines at the end of it!

[shunsuisuggestions]

Hello, I just wanted to stop by and Bring you these crates of Sake<3 SInce Being a Captain is stressful and hard work. And you deserve it too.

Aww thank you! I certainly shall enjoy (and greatly deserve) them.

…although I have to ask, how did you get all these crates past @nanaosuggestions?

[aizensamasuggestions]

What did you get for Valentine's day?

As you know, @nanaosuggestions no longer allows me my fan mail. 

However, I suspect there are a large number of the usual–flowers, chocolates, notes describing incredibly explicit adventures.

My “betrayal” or imprisonment doesn’t seem to have affected the sheer volume of Valentine’s that I receive. I’m not quite sure what that means about the average shinigami woman. 

Perhaps they see me as a ‘bad boy.’

Someone that only their love can transform.

*shakes head*

I do wish that @shunsuisuggestions would allow the occasional care package through, however. I can’t remember the last time I tasted tea.

[nanaosuggestions]

You suspect correctly. To be quite frank it is quite the thorn in my side. Judging from popular literature, you are also correct about the “bad boy” thing as well. Most unfortunate.

And no, @shunsuisuggestions will not be allowing anything through. You will just have enjoy the memory of tea. Savor it.

[shunsuisuggestions]

Ah, I suppose that explains the faint scent of vaguely-charred tea we’ve been having all morning?

[yumichika-suggestions]

Hotness Chart: I

@orihimesuggestions (Orihime Inoue)

Cute, definitely. Apparently, once attempted to pass herself off as a 12th Division soldier, which is pretty ballsy.  Has fairies, which I have to approve of for… reasons.  Definitely above average, maybe a 7.6? Never sure about ladies.

@ibasuggestions (Tetsuzaemon Iba)

A former member of the 11th, tattooed!  Very manly!  mmmm, but there’s that TINY issue of that…. zanpakutō. Let’s just say I like mine a little bigger!  4

@nanaosuggestions​ (Nanao Ise)

Very business-like, looks dangerous… good hair. Nice complexion, almost Kuchiki like.  Easy 8.2 

@gin-suggestions (Gin Ichimaru_)

A creepy one, certainly, but that never puts me off.  Very long fingers… but another tiny zanpakutō, though I understand Shino can expand infinitely. I mean, as long as it can deliver in the end, I say! 8

@ryukensuggestions (Ryuken Ishida)

I don’t now this person, but he looks… fierce and intense and serious. Not my type, plus is apparently some kind of Quincy daddy. SO not my scene. 5

@uryuslefthandsuggestions

??  3 Although I guess, left hand? Okay 5

[nanaosuggestions]

I..err…hmm. I’m not sure how to respond to this. Thank you?

Although @shunsuisuggestions insists I am at least an 11 but I don’t listen to him 

[shunsuisuggestions]

Now, now, don’t be modest, Nanao-chan – I’m fairly sure I said at least a 16? 

[jushirosuggestions]

What's some of the best advice you've ever received? Also, you are too pure for this world. ;_;

The best advice… that’s a tricky one, Anon-san! Let me think…

Ah. Yes. I know.

It may not be the best, exactly, but one of the most important pieces of advice I’ve ever received came from my younger sister.

When we were young, she told me not to worry about what other people thought of me. (Which, for the record, I did at that time. Quite a lot. I thought I was broken, useless; I thought I would never be enough.) She said that those who got to know me would love me for who I was, and that I was a fool to take the opinions of those who didn’t know me seriously. It took me years to embrace what she said, but - as always - she was right in the end.

I’ve also been… encouraged… by @shunsuisuggestions to break the rules a little bit more often than I’m naturally inclined to. Whether this is good advice or not is up for debate, but I will say that it’s led to some fun that I wouldn’t otherwise have had. I do have to thank my best friend for that.

Thank you for your question, Anon-san! And for the complement? I… think? ‘Too pure for this world’ is intended to be a complement, isn’t it…?

[aizensamasuggestions]

And, once again, @jushirosuggestions, may I thank you for “breaking the rules a little” and destroying the Sokyoku? If @kurosakisuggestions could stop it, it might not have been able to execute me even then, before I merged with the hogyoku, but still. Nice to have that little worry out of the way…

You really should break the rules more often, I say.

[shunsuisuggestions]

Goodness, Sousuke-kun – if you really did want to play a round of chicken (heh) with a great flaming chicken you only had to say so. Never pegged you for a bird person, but I guess we all have our hidden depths! Of the non-megalomanical kind, I mean.

And I’d almost hate to agree with you, but @jushirosuggestions definitely should get out more. Both from the rules and otherwise!

[aizensamasuggestions]

…

I honestly never quite know how to respond to you, @shunsuisuggestions.  I’m sure, just like @nanaosuggestions, I had hoped that becoming Captain-Commander would… temper you.

Alas,

The same as always I see.

However, I daresay it’s refreshing to agree on something as precious to you as @jushirosuggestions.

[shunsuisuggestions]

I’ll take that as a compliment, thank you! Really, you oughta learn to enjoy improvisations a little more, Sousuke-kun. Where’s the fun in it otherwise?

…unless, of course, you actually do find planning keikakus three hundred steps in advance an entertaining activity, then go ahead. Like I said – it takes all kinds!

Anyway. 

Not to rain on your parade, but I do think I’m rather agreeable when it comes to @jushirosuggestions. Otherwise we’d have gotten into… uh, significantly more trouble with everyone than we already have? Captainly and otherwise.

(Also, the only temper I truly appreciate is in a good slab of chocolate!)

[jushirosuggestions]

What's some of the best advice you've ever received? Also, you are too pure for this world. ;_;

The best advice… that’s a tricky one, Anon-san! Let me think…

Ah. Yes. I know.

It may not be the best, exactly, but one of the most important pieces of advice I’ve ever received came from my younger sister.

When we were young, she told me not to worry about what other people thought of me. (Which, for the record, I did at that time. Quite a lot. I thought I was broken, useless; I thought I would never be enough.) She said that those who got to know me would love me for who I was, and that I was a fool to take the opinions of those who didn’t know me seriously. It took me years to embrace what she said, but - as always - she was right in the end.

I’ve also been… encouraged… by @shunsuisuggestions to break the rules a little bit more often than I’m naturally inclined to. Whether this is good advice or not is up for debate, but I will say that it’s led to some fun that I wouldn’t otherwise have had. I do have to thank my best friend for that.

Thank you for your question, Anon-san! And for the complement? I… think? ‘Too pure for this world’ is intended to be a complement, isn’t it…?

[aizensamasuggestions]

And, once again, @jushirosuggestions, may I thank you for “breaking the rules a little” and destroying the Sokyoku? If @kurosakisuggestions could stop it, it might not have been able to execute me even then, before I merged with the hogyoku, but still. Nice to have that little worry out of the way…

You really should break the rules more often, I say.

[shunsuisuggestions]

Goodness, Sousuke-kun – if you really did want to play a round of chicken (heh) with a great flaming chicken you only had to say so. Never pegged you for a bird person, but I guess we all have our hidden depths! Of the non-megalomanical kind, I mean.

And I’d almost hate to agree with you, but @jushirosuggestions definitely should get out more. Both from the rules and otherwise!

[shunsuisuggestions]

Hello Captain! I made you these Cookies and I also brought you some Sake! Also I hope that you have a great day/night<3 - Love Ale

Ooh, homemade cookies and sake! 

…or mostly just cookies, since it’s still working hours here, but rest assured that the sake shan’t be forgotten ;) all in due time, eh? 

And same to you, as well!

[jushirosuggestions]

Wishing the happiest of birthdays to the brave, kind, loyal, and artistically talented Kuchiki Rukia! I can personally confirm that she makes her Captain proud every single day.

…also, I may or may not be able to personally confirm that if she looks underneath the stack of papers she plans to attend to this afternoon, she will find a gigantic and not-very-well-hidden bag of sweets and goodies.

[shunsuisuggestions]

Adding my most cheerful wishes to Rukia-chan on this happy occasion, and my equally sincere hope that said bag-and-paperwork has been properly balanced to avoid any unfortunate mishaps…?

[shunsuisuggestions]

Don’t forget to wish @jushirosuggestions a very happy birthday! Or sneak a ton of sake-flavoured candy into his office, as the case may be. Y’know.