people at work: wow, you are always in such a good mood, how do you do that?
me, an actually cranky, apathetic, trainwreck human: it’s called manners, susan.
“do not mistake composure for ease”
DO NOT MISTAKE COMPOSURE FOR EASE.

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@shweetchocoaltegirl
people at work: wow, you are always in such a good mood, how do you do that?
me, an actually cranky, apathetic, trainwreck human: it’s called manners, susan.
“do not mistake composure for ease”
DO NOT MISTAKE COMPOSURE FOR EASE.
looks more like she has been covering her ears to not listen to anything he had to say so he had to punch the wall to finally get her attention…
im a little bit confused, are you analyzing a stock photo used for an article from a satirical online magazine?
let’s all just take a moment to appreciate how a completely fictional man can exhibit abusive behavior in a hypothetical universe that exists solely to mock this behavior and someone out there will still bend over backwards to defend him.
zero light plants
THIS IS SUCH A SPECIFIC AND SUPER NECESSARY POST.
Spider plants are among the best natural air filters you can put in a flowerpot. They don’t just produce oxygen, they clean out other gases and toxins and whatever else is floating around the room.
Also they’re easy as fuck to grow more of because they reproduce by putting little mini plants out on stalks. Clip one off, stick it in a pot and you’re good!
Spider plants are safe to have around cats, too!
the muppets, 1x01: “Pig Girls Don’t Cry.”
Why did they make me watch Fozzy Bear experience a micro aggression
This is so fuckgin funnyyy
“Why did they make me watch Fozzy Bear experience a microaggression” is in the top ten Iconic Fucking Tumblr Lines.
me before working out: i dont wanna do this
me while working out: I D O N T W A N N A D O T H I S
me after working out: WOW, i am simply phenomenal. every drop of blood running through my veins is graced with the ichor of the gods, i am an olympic athlete
where’s the pic of that guy’s tinder bio where he says something along the lines of “well i’m a fat fuck with a big truck. welcome to the shitshow.”
thanks. this is literally the best tinder bio ever
Someone tell me I’m pretty
Listen, “asshole with a heart of gold” is a good trope but you know what we need more than that???
Dumbass with a heart of gold. Just, a complete moron who cares a whole fucking lot. An idiot who would die for a stranger. A goddamn dimwit so fucking in love with someone that they’d do anything for ‘em.
this calligraphy channel is amazing because their cats constantly try to interfere, like these cats are just laser focused on annihilating every project the person tries to do
you can certainly enjoy these without sound but the sound effects are killing me
These are exactly the correct cat sound effects.
I only use these words to communicate
One Day at a Time addressing how it should never be up to the child to fix a broken relationship with a parent.
This hit really close to home, I started crying,,
why is this so funny lmao
Nobody called me but I showed up anyway.
why is this so accurate
and theyre gadget magnets
anything with a screen they’d want to touch