It took me some time to be able to take a step forward and leave you in the past where you should belong. It took me countless sleepless nights, long hours spent in the bathroom crying, years of feeling lonely and unwanted. It took me so long to be able to finally take you out of my system. There were days when all I thought about was you walking out of my life. I had several shot sessions with friends, thinking that alcohol could numb the pain and make me forget only to realize that even with alcohol in my system, I can still see you. There were nights when my own sobs became my lullaby to sleep; when I learned to value sleep more because that’s the only time I get to see you again – in my dreams. Your ignorance pushed me away, further than I could ever imagine going from anyone. I grieved every damn day because I knew I lost you and you were never coming back. It took so long for this to sink in. It took so long for me to build to courage to get here. And now? I feel free. The heavy feeling in my heart isn’t there anymore. I’m not a prisoner of my own mind. I find myself smiling at everyone I see. I find joy in the littlest things. I’m free. I know I have become stronger and better, as a person. I don’t hate you anymore. Nor do I blame myself for your leaving. I don’t cringe when I hear your name anymore. I’m okay now. Thank you for teaching me everything I need to stay away from in life. Now I can finally learn to love myself and rebuild myself. Now I thank you for the tears and the heartbreak. You were a lesson very well learned.
amandla
romaincrisis
andulkaphoto
tangentwithtanner
discoholicmusic
theartofmadeline
