Suho // Star1 January 2017

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@sian2056-blog
Suho // Star1 January 2017
here comes the storm.
2056ju:
— starter for @sian2056 ♥
He watches Sian get out of the bed and he starts to panic, Hyeonju immediately moves his body out of the bed as well and he rushes to put on some pants on, and he quickly makes his way towards the younger male before he manages to leave the bedroom. Ju wraps his arms tight around Sian’s body, hugging the smaller man from behind and keeping them as close as possible. He buries his face against Sian’s shoulder and breathes deep, closing his eyes tight as he curses him in his head. He can’t believe he has upset Sian again, he can’t believe he’s making Sian cry, probably not for the first and he hates himself for that.
“No, no, no! Sian, wait… I’m sorry, Si. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you… I didn’t mean to hurt you. Please, don’t leave. Don’t leave now. Please. Please.”
when ju’s arms curl around his waist again, sian allows himself to lean into his chest a little, head resting against the older’s shoulder. in that instant, all sian wanted to do was crawl back under the covers with only hyeonju to keep him warm. he wishes he knew how to fix it, how to make it all go away. but not even ju’s apology can still the aching in his heart and eventually the warmth of his hold wears off again.
“it’s not your fault, ju…” sian’s hand curls around ju’s wrist, tugging and turning it until it comes loose and he can bring it up to his mouth. he then presses a gentle kiss against the back of ju’s hand, before dropping it to his side and turning his own body out of the hug.
“i’m not leaving,” it’s not like he can with the storm that is raging outside anyway, “i just need a drink.” his voice sounds thick under the pressure of his own emotion, eyes still focused on the door that would allow his escape. during this whole encounter, sian hasn’t looked at ju once and he will continue to refuse so. he doesn’t want ju to mistake his welling tears for blame.
he flees out of the bedroom, in search for some relief in the form of whiskey. the power’s out, living room basking in darkness but sian finds the liquor cabinet on automatic pilot. he pours himself a glass, one he immediately downs as he stares out of the window, wondering if it would have felt any differently if he were to be standing in the middle of it.
"what did you splurge on the most?"
there comes a point inevery rich man’s life where he no longer needs to worry about price tags. butof course sian, someone who grew up amongst the rich and the powerful, neverknew any other way of living life. to people like him there is truly nothingmoney can’t buy, no eyes bat as another big check disappears underneath thecounter.
“maids probably…” heeventually murmurs, holding the glass of expensive whiskey under his nose so hecan indulge in the smell for a couple of seconds. “i grew up around them. i’mused to a crowded house even though, in a way, it still feels empty. i guess they were right when they said youcan buy anything but company.”
Suho x LOVE SHOT #2
"Do you still talk to other men, other than me?"
sian is not used to these kind of surroundings. therestaurant ju had chosen was small, located in an area of seoul sian has neverbeen to before. it was a huge step for them to show themselves so publicly, insuch an intimate setting, but so far no one seemed to realize who they were.and then even if they did, they didn’t seem to be aware of the actual value oftheir meeting.
the wine starts flowing freely as more hours pass on theclock, smiles growing a little softer with every word that is spoken and everytouch that is shared underneath the table. though, there is still a certain secretiveness lingering between the twoof them, for the first time in a really long time sian doesn’t feel like heneeds to hide who he really is. and maybe that is why they dare asking thequestions they have never dared asking before, including the one that had juststumbled off ju’s lips.
it’s not one sian could blame ju for asking. he’s well awareof the reputation he’s created for himself, a highly desired bachelor amongstthose who were aware of his sexual preferences and those who weren’t. so hecan’t blame ju for wondering about those kind of things, especially not thecloser they got.
“talking to men is pretty much my job at this point…” siansays, a sheepish grin pulled around the curves of his lips, trying to lift themood a little after being asked such a loaded question. “but not in that way.”he is then quickly to add, hand reaching out over the table as if he was tograb ju’s but it halts halfway, fingers playing around with the stem of hiswineglass instead. “there was never much talk to begin with, at least not onthis kind of level. but this… i like this. i’m not looking for anyone else’sattention because i don’t need it. not anymore.”
"Because... I definitely did think of you. Pretty often."
nine words.
nine words is all it takesto completely snuff out the spark that had been in sian’s heart. he knows jumeans well, that it’s meant to reassure him, that it will be different thistime around. but for some reason sian feels like breaking apart and hiding fromthe one person he wanted to be held by the most. ju’s words were nothing morebut a painful realisation that things could have turned out differently, thatall his heartache and drunken, meaningless adventures could have been avoided.
just like that, all joyfalls from sian’s features. suddenly, sian doesn’t want to be in this bedanymore, the same bed he didn’t ever want to leave only a couple of minutesago. but how does he explain that to ju who didn’t seem to be on the same levelas he was yet? how does he keep himself from moving too fast without scaringthe other off… again? sian doesn’t know. he doesn’t know what to say or what tothink, so instead he rolls out of ju’s hold, keeping one of the blanketstightly wrapped around his naked body while he comes to sit on the edge of thebed. “please…” he begs quietly, blurry eyes scanning the blackened bedroomfloor in search for the pair of sweatpants he was wearing earlier that night tocover himself back up. “please don’t say things like that.”
maybe if sian hadn’t beenthis intoxicated, he wouldn’t have reacted this emotionally. this was supposedto be progress, this was supposed to be something good for them but instead heonly feels like a bigger fool. no, he’s hurt.but is any of that ju’s fault? also no. just because sian went through thiswhole exact process when he was 15 doesn’t mean that ju did and if anything jushould be able to walk this path in his own pace. still, sian feels embarrassedand frankly a little disappointed. for the very first time in the years he hasknown the older, sian wants to escape. so he raises from the bed, pulling thefabric over his butt before he makes his exit.
“i’m just… going to gograb another drink.”
"Did you ever think of me again after our first night together?"
it’s another one of thosenights. clothes already long lost, an empty bottle of overpriced wine laying atthe foot of the king-sized bed as a pair of strong arms curl around a much smallerbody. it’s been a couple of weeks since they started doing this but sian stillcan’t get used to it, cheeks sore from the smiles he fails to suppress. if youwere to ask him right then and there, he would say yes. yes, it had all beenmore than worth it. the warmth and comfort that he feels right now, the joythat rushes through his veins at a hundred miles an hour, it all makes up forthe years of longing and yearning.
though, his smile watersdown in a bit more of a sheepish grin once ju voices what seems to have been onhis mind all night, maybe even since the very first time they hooked up.“honestly…” sian squirms around in ju’s hold until he’s lying flat on hisstomach, one elbow supporting the weight of his own body as his fingers gentlytrace the curves of ju’s lips. “i probably thought of you a little too muchafter that. i really tried not to… but no matter what i did, i just couldn’tseem to get you out of my head.”
[to be continued]
"how did you get over your feelings? i'm genuinely asking because i... i still don't know"
“i honestly don’t think i am the right person to ask this, jae…” sian leans against the window sill, gaze focused on the scenery that lays underneath him rather than his friend. eunjae had never made it a secret how he thought it wasn’t going to work out between sian and hyeonju back when they were in high school and maybe the youngest of the brothers had been right back then. but so much had changed now, so much had happened and sian wonders if eunjae knew about the situation they had been in a year ago. a surprising turn of events that seemed to be repeating itself only a couple of months later.
but even if eunjae is only aware of how it all started, his advice would still be of absolutely no use. he doesn’t know how he ever got over hyeonju because he clearly didn’t. the young ceo is still an absolute fool for the soldier, forcing himself through heartbreak after heartbreak as the other continues to struggle with his own identity.
“i guess you could say i fucked my way over them. college was a wild time, i’m sure you remember… i won’t say it’s the best way to deal with that kind of thing but it worked for me.” sian’s shoulders lift into a shrug, features conveniently hidden from eunjae so he can’t tell how much sian is lying through his teeth right now. it obviously didn’t work out the way he wanted for him but there is no need to expose ju in case his brother hasn’t been completely honest with his whereabouts.
“when it comes to ares, though…” he hesitates, unsure if he should get himself involved in that mess. but ares- his best friend, his brother. sian wants nothing more but happiness for him so he can’t help but give jae a little push in the right direction. “if you still believe anything is there, if you think you can fix whatever went wrong between the two of you, don’t give up on him. that’s all i can tell you.”
"how much do you love me?"
love,or rather expressing it, is one of the few things the lees don’t do well. whowould be surprised, really, with a father who only cared for his oldest butfailed to build an actual relationship with him due to his constant absence anda mother who couldn’t get herself to care for either brother. still sian hadalways assumed it was a given, despite his own lacking in voicing his love forhis brother. it’s not as strong, their brotherly connection, as sian had alwayswanted it to be. they were never the inseparable front against either of theirparents, but that doesn’t take away from the care and worry he feels as hewatches joon slip deeper and deeper into the craze that seems to have dwelledon him.
“icare enough about you to deal with whatever has gotten into you, to watch youcome and go, knowing damn well there might come a day you’ll leave and nevercome back.” even now, while speaking the most honest words he has ever spokento his brother, he can’t get himself to use a word like ‘love’. “it takes alot, you know, knowing that one day you’ll finally have enough and see youdisappear because you didn’t care enough for me to stay.”
🥂 "are you sure you're never gonna hurt hyeonju?"
it takes sian a couple of seconds to make sense of what she’s asking,realize that hyeonju and sian might not be as subtle in their craft as theylike to believe, but as soon as he does he slams his glass of whiskey down onthe table with a sharp thud. under any other circumstances, he could have cometo understand her concern, but he’s in no mood to disembowel old wounds.especially not those she helped inflict on his heart.
“it’s really bold of you to assume he hasn’t already hurt me,” sianspeaks, nostrils flaring as he stares her right into the eye. it’s not like heexpects her to know or understand how he felt once he caught whiff of theirrelationship. on the contrary, he made sure to smile and pretend as if hedidn’t know of the tragedy that is called rejection and heartbreak. so maybethat’s why she is so quick to jump to a conclusion, but it still doesn’t meanthat she should. “i know what i am and who i want but it seems that the samecan’t be said for him. so let’s just wait with pointing fingers, shall we?”
with that sian raises from his seat, throwing a couple of bills on thetable before seeking out more welcomed company.
when the party’s over.
2056ju:
[...]
His attempts to feel calmer start to fail him when he notices it’s taking too long for the other to come into the office — he had said five minutes, it’s been more than five minutes already and Hyeonju is starting to feel anxious about it. He brings his hand up to brush his fingers through his head, his eyes drifting to the floor as he keeps his head low, but he looks back up immediately when he hears the door open.
The smile on Sian’s lips, the way he walks into the room and talks to Hyeonju… Everything looked so much different, so much softer, and it is enough to bring another type of warmth to Hyeonju’s chest: this time, it is a comfortable warmth, like sitting in front of a fireplace on a winter night. And he can’t hold himself, that feeling makes the oldest of the two move from his spot, taking wide steps towards Sian and not wasting time to gently touch the younger’s cheek as he leans in for a kiss. How long has he waited for that? How much has Hyeonju wanted to do that, to kiss Sian again like they had done that other night, exactly one year ago? It’s impossible to tell, but it’s clear to notice that there’s nothing else in his mind.
His attention, his focus, and even his body, it all belongs to Lee Sian in this night. “But I’m hoping to have it all to myself now.”
the kiss is so much softer than sian had imagined it to be and for a couple of seconds he allows himself to melt in ju’s hold. for a couple of seconds sian allows himself to believe that this is more than just physical. to him, it’s always been more than that. he’s been enamoured by ju since he first laid eyes on him, since he first understood what things like lust and infatuation were. but they have been in this exact position before and sian knows just how badly this could backfire on him. the higher you fly, the harder you fall and let that be exactly what sian did. fall, in every way possible.
so, when the news of ju and his relationship to sujin circled back to him, sian was… heartbroken to say the least. it was completely irrational. what sian and ju had had was nothing more than a sweet but drunken mishap. sian had been nothing more than a curiosity and while it had definitely not been the first time, it had hurt a lot more coming from hyeonju. maybe sian should have known better. or well, he was convinced he did thanks to years of eunjae’s subtle hints that it just wasn’t going to happen but at the end of the day he was still a complete fool for the older man. once again, it was sian who tugged at the shortest end and so he retorted to what he knows best. sleeping the rejection away.
it had taken months of drunken, nightly adventures to heal the wounds ju had inflicted on his heart and still sian is ready to do it all over again. hands gently gripping onto ju’s waist to pull him a little closer as lips linger into the kiss. how he had managed to fool himself for this long, he doesn’t know. the men sian had chosen to drown his heartache with just didn’t live up to hyeonju and the butterflies that angrily bounce against his insides, desperately looking for a way out before they suffocate.
“i’m all yours now,” he promises, “all you had to do was ask.”
there’s nothing to separate the two of them now, so sian’s hands get a little rougher. he places them flat on ju’s chest, pushing back until he’s seated on the desk again. it’s not like ju is here for kisses and soft conversation anyway, so he sees no use in wasting any more time. “i hope you know how to tie this yourself because this is a really huge inconvenience to me right now.” sian announces, smiles slipping from his features and replaced by hunger, words barely spoken before he crashes his lips into ju’s again. one hand rests in ju’s neck, thumb strategically placed under the commander’s chin and pushing it up while the other tugs at the fabric of ju’s bowtie and then the buttons of his dress shirt.
sian takes a couple of seconds to explore ju’s upper chest, fingertips barely grazing over his collarbones before the hunger kicks in again. the hand that still lays in ju’s neck grips on a little tighter, lips leaving a trial of kisses down ju’s jaw and neck before settling on a patch of skin he remembers being particularly touchy.
all we ever knew. || minji & sian
minji2056:
“yeah, we’ve been busy writing speeches lately. it’s left my head feeling absolutely fried.” she admitted as she put her chin in the palm of her hand and let it hold her up. it wasn’t often that she actually let herself relax in such a casual position. “i love how i used to think that writing speeches was the easy part. now they’re a hell of their own.” she shook her head as she rubbed the sides of her head and laughed.
“if you pour me anything anything weaker than that whiskey we’re going to have a problem.” she grinned wide as she tapped the table where she wanted him to sit it.
“oh!” she sat up a bit as she remembered something to mention to him. “also my mom wanted to let you know she’s been thinking about you. and-” she let out a laugh she was trying to hold back. “-that she wants us all to have lunch when we’re all free.” she found it funny because she knew that there simply wasn’t exactly a time that they were all free. that’s not how their jobs worked. “i told her not to hold her breath, but still expect a call from her asking as much. tell me about work though. anything interesting going on?”
sian chuckles, shoulders relaxed for the first in what feels like months. “i guess it’s different when you know to entire nation is about to analyse your every word.” as he speaks the words, he glances back to her, a hint of admiration settling onto his features. he doesn’t voice his thoughts too often, but he is truly proud of what she accomplished. another lee, and a female one at that, creating a better world one step at a time. “but if anyone was able to pull that off, it would be you.”
pulling out two glasses and a bottle of whiskey, sian returns to his seat. he pours her a glass and slides it over to her, sipping on his own before his hands move to his shirt and pull the string of fabric that is tied around his neck loose. a sigh escapes him, hands rubbing his eyes thinking he’d get a couple of minutes peace but he is surprised by the way she springs up into her seat as if she forgot to tell him something really important.
“yeah, i learnt a lot of expensive words in college but unfortunately free time is not one of them.” he can’t help but to laugh with her, both amused and flattered by her mother’s request. it wasn’t until his father’s death that sian realized how little time he spends with what’s left of his family. he wished it could be differently, he truly did, but like minji had already pointed out it just doesn’t work like that for the both of them. “have her give me a call, i’ll see what i can do for her.”
a whine then escapes him, the mess the late lee had made of damsu the last thing he wanted to think about right now. the last thing he wanted to worry minji with now she was at the height of her career. something she would eventually transcend as well, he was sure of it. “same old, same old,” he says instead, shoulders lifting up slightly, “interesting enough to make me lose my sleep over it… either way, i doubt that’s what you came here for. tell me about you? anything interesting going on at work? or outside of work?”
in control
sunny2056:
[...]
“the problem relies on how different these reports are, which leads us to a question: whose source is wrong? or worse, lying. or even worse, they are both correct,” her inflection changed as her brain worked a mile a minute. should the ceo ask for names, she was willing to give them. he had to find out, it was his responsibility.
“it might not be of any consolation, but i trust mine not to engage in malpractices. do you know yours well?” sunny asked, a hint of hope in her voice. deep down, she suddenly felt like buying a ph meter to use on every bottle of damsu water she had at home. the reports findings were alarming, to say the least.
arms come loose from sian’s chest, brows carving deep lines into his forehead. the woman had just made a very good point. there was no need to overreact and fire anyone… just yet. besides, if his instincts were right, the people who were responsible wouldn’t even be around to get fired anyway.
finally, sian breaks loose from the desk as well. rounding the table, he pushes a couple more files off his own chair – something he’s bound to regret later on – and takes place in his respective seat. she seems just as determined as he is, unafraid to point fingers if she has to. something tells him they’ll be busy for a while.
still, he hesitates to answer to her questions, wary of just how much he should tell her. her connection to the company is too fragile. it’s too early for sian to completely trust her not to run her mouth and leak this kind of information to the media. damsu can’t take a blow like that, the stories of corruption and deceit still too fresh in mind. but at the same time, sian doesn’t possess the kind of knowledge and expertise that is needed to get to the bottom of this. so he’s just going to have to have a little faith, whether he likes it or not.
“i’m well aware of what kind of people work for me.” his words sound a little sharp around their edges, the anger but mostly disappointment he has come to feel for his father wrongly towards sunny. bribing a commanding officer for additional protection is one thing, but to gamble with human lives is a whole other…
“let’s just say i have reasons to believe someone from my end has been tampering with these reports for years on end.” he gives her a couple of seconds to process the news before he continues. “i guess i was hoping you would have a way to prove me otherwise.”
something that could barely be called a smile curves around sian’s lips, features displaying the regret and shame that his father’s actions had planted deep within him. “we’ve made a lot of investments in the past couple of months to further improve the quality of our water, as well as running a tighter ship when it comes to our employees so it would surprise me if a mishap was conducted there. so maybe some of our sources just aren’t as clean as someone claimed it to be.”
suho being effortlessly handsome
Junmyeon for ViVi magazine
when the party’s over.
2056ju:
— starter for @sian2056 ♥
[...]
Hyeonju can’t take his eyes off of him, though. But he’s discreet, and even knowing that he can’t hide anything from his brother, he manages to do it this time — he’s been hiding that part of him for such a long time, it’s become a habit, but he can’t help the sudden feeling of jealousy when he sees someone way too close to the CEO of Damsu. It feels like there’s something squeezing his chest when he sees Sian’s smile towards that man, it’s like he can hear Sian’s giggles and that makes Hyeonju feel so annoyed and so upset… He can’t avoid the soft frown that forms on his forehead.
He gives Eunjae an excuse to walk away, something about needing to use the bathroom, but instead, he walks towards Sian. He smiles at the man the younger male has been talking to and speaks, his voice sounding a lot gentler than he intended.
“Excuse me, sir—- can I talk to Mr. Lee for a moment?” And once the stranger leaves, Hyeonju looks at the younger with a serious face, the frown is back to his forehead and he takes a step closer when he speaks again, almost in a whisper. “You told me not to hesitate to look for you, so here I am.”
“Can we talk? Privately?”
sian's night is slowly coming to an end. after carefully disclosing his request for more government funding to so be able to continue to projects damsu has taken on recently, all there is left for the brand new ceo is his big speech. his late father liked to give them at the beginning of every party, while the guests were still sober and attentive, but over time sian has come to learn that the kind of jokes that are usually told go down a lot easier with a fourth glass of champagne in hand. if there is anything sian is trying to prove tonight, it's that he is not his father. just like their nation, damsu is going through grand change and it's about time someone started shedding light on the good they try to do rather than his own ego.
he parts ways with eunjae as soon as the men reach the bottom of the stairs where the eldest of the parks seems to be awaiting them. still, a lingering look and a quick nod of his head is all sian offers him. sure, he's got a few more hands to play but as long as hyeonju wasn't fully convinced he wanted this, he wanted him, he'd only be shooting blank. it would be a true shame if hyeonju decided he didn't. there's just something about the man that makes sian want more, one rule after another abandoned whenever he catches a glimpse of the commander.
though, as much as sian is enjoying their game of cat and mouse, it looks like they were running out of time. an employee informs him that he has an hour left until his speech is due, after which sian would disappear, leaving his guests to wonder where he had gone for the rest of the night. people thrive on inaccessability, they always want what they can't have, panic kicking in when they see something they desire being snatched away right in front of their noses.
it's a strategy that proves to be successful even before sian executes it. he had been chatting up a man not much older than himself for only a couple of minutes, but he had gotten handsy rather quickly, hands lingering on the ceo's back as he greets him before leaning in a little closer with every word the younger speaks. sian can't deny that he enjoys the attention, but it's the voice that looms from behind him that makes him feel truly victorious. the voice belongs to hyeonju, there is no doubt in sian's mind about that, an expecting smile plastered on his features as he turns to face him.
"yeah, can you excuse us for a second?" sian chimes in but his gaze remains focused on ju only, brow quirking up a little as the other steps closer and speaks to him in whispers. "i did say that, didn't i?" he can't help but agitate the other a little further, body turning so that the crowd can't read his movements as he drops a key in hyeonju's hand. "we can talk in my office. you remember where it is, right? top floor to the left…" he trails off, waiting for hyeonju to give him a sign of recollection before he increases the distance between the two of them.
"i will meet you there in 5."
sian beelines back to the staircase, greeting and chitchatting with a couple more people to make it less obvious that the men had vanished at the same time. it takes him longer than he had anticipated, but sian eventually makes it back to his office. he smiles, much gentler than he had before, when he sees ju is still in the office waiting for him. "i'm sorry. there's a lot of people that seem to want my attention tonight."
suho’s teaser clip(s) 🌴