âSurprise, I have feelings and you just hurt them.â
âIn the least creepy way possible, I know where you live.â
âA onesie is not an appropriate gift for my mothers birthday!â
âWhy would you even suggest that?â
âEmotions are a luxury I donât have time for.â
âCan I borrow your pencil, and your homework.â
âI just want to start over.â
âIâm sorry, can we just pretend I never said that.â
âYou hurt her, I stab you, okay?â
âI would kill for a slice of cake right nowâŠliterallyâ
âWell this got incredibly awkward incredibly quickly.â
âWoah, hold the fuck up, you did what now?â
âI love you, I always have.â
âTake a deep breath and please calm the fuck down.â
âI miss you, but then i remember what an asshole you are and the feeling fades.â
âTell me everything.â
âWhat happened to you?â
âHey honeyâŠdid you seriously adopt another kitten?â
âHow many times do I have to tell you, we are not getting a bouncy castle for my dadâs 60th.â
âI know itâs hard, but get over it.â
âI am not dramatic, it was a very big spider.â
âHow to kill the mood 101.â
âYou left me with no one, sorry doesnât change that.
âThis is a joke right?â
âClearly I did not drink enough for this.â
âIâm not quite sure how it happened, but it did.â
âYou only want to go because thereâs free food.â
âThis song is so us.â
âItâs too early for this, just go back to sleep.â
âIf I tell you I love you will you make me pancakes?â
âIf you sing that song one more time I will kill you.â
âHonestly, I donât want to know.â
âHold up, she said what?â
âYou are so sweet, and I am so sorry.â
âYou donât deserve this.â
âPoke me once more and see what happens.â
âGhosts arenât real for Godâs sake.â
âI need to punch something, preferably their face.â
âWhy did you think that was okay?â
âWhen did you become my mother?â
âNew drinking game, drink overtime youâre a dickhead. Oh wait I already have alcohol poisoning.â
âDonât talk to me, I need my coffee first.â
âRemember that time I thought you were stalking me?â
âI hate that I still love you.â
âOf course itâs not your fault, it never is.â
âI am this close to calling my ex.â
âMaybe this really was a bad idea.â
âJesus Christ I forgot how much I hate exercise.â
âBaby, please tell me you can explain why there is a hole through the window.â
âWow I canât believe he said you were ugly, hun he is clearly blind.â
âI donât know why I bother.â
âIâd rather do a lot of things than eat my vegetables but you gotta do it.â
âThat was so romantic.â
âOut of all the things you could have said, and you went with that.â
âI canât wait to see you.â
âI donât want you, I need you.â
âStop laughing this isnât funny!â