Why I think Noel has a 9-inch cock: a mathematical journey
Hello Oasisblr, welcome to my brain. I have spent the past hour attempting to calculate an estimate dick length for Noel Gallagher based off of the plethora of bulge photos we all love. So, what was the methodology, and what are the results?
Exhibit 1: The Phone and the Foot
I started with the photo because it has two things we can use to compare the bulge to, size-wise: the phone receiver and Noel's foot. He's on record saying he wears a size 39 shoe, which means that his foot is likely around 24.5 cm (9.6 inches). In the 1990s, the average phone receiver (the part you hold up to your ear, for those too young to remember), was about 22 cm (8.6 inches), according to old patent specifications (and it checks out with what I remember growing up).
Thus, we have a reasonable measurement for two items in the photo, and therefore, we can compare them to the dick. Superimposed, the shoe and the phone are roughly the same size as the bulge. The average length of both objects is 22.5cm (8.85 inches).
Exhibit 2: Zipper
Let's try to compare our estimate above using the length of his fly. On an average-rise pair of men's jeans, the zipper is 15.24 cm (6 inches) long. We can very clearly see that he is thus over six inches. But that's not very close to 9, is it? Veruschkaaaa, give us more evidence!
Exhibit 3: Thumb
I know, the imprint is impressive, but what we're looking at here is Noel's thumb in comparison to the rest of his body. The average man's thumb is 7.62 cm long (3 inches). If we compare this to the above photo, it looks like the bulge does extend roughly one thumb's length past the zipper. This zipper + thumb equation gives us 22.86 cm (9 inches)
Result:
Looking at averages, this is where we end up:
Average of thumb and zipper: 22.86 cm (9 inches)
Average of the phone receiver and foot length: 22.5cm (8.85 inches)
Average of image 1 and images 2-3: 22.68 (8.93 inches)
I'll see myself out.
