escapist @sickoslug - Tumblr Blog

30 years old thinking “damn this shit so tumblr”

no amount of working on myself will prevent hurting people close to me. any new bond i make i must take that into consideration. why make a new friend if you WILL hurt them? when does it become a choice ? would it be better or worse if it was a choice ? is it better or worse to continually cause harm to people on accident?

is my love abusive? over bearing? is it even love or just policing, checking, monitoring. fear of being alone? is hurting people you love truly better than just being alone? how long could i even last being alone if i was? could i survive without people to convince me that i deserve to be here?

why have i spent years making connections with people if i know i am going to cut my time short?

because i am selfish. i am a narcissist. nothing matters but me. when i die it all ends with me. maybe not killing myself is selfless in that rite.

after all, the universe revolves around me.

#vent

evenmoregayporntattoos

bedsorebaby-deactivated20250524

jareckiworld

Manuel Amado (1938-2019)—That's the Princess [oil on canvas, 2004]

boofinator

Red dot stickers

#red

zer0rei

e-n-d-a-s-h

Liz Toohey-Wiese, 2024.

"A sign installed in the largest wildfire burn I’ve ever seen, along the BC/YK border. Borrowing the aesthetics of BC Recreation Site signs, once again pointing to the overlaps of outdoor recreation, resource extraction, and the consequences of the climate crisis. Most recreation sites in BC exist along previously built logging and mining roads.

“Forced into a great and difficult transformation” was a line I heard in a lecture on Buddhist philosophy I was listening to on my drive up north. But it became another mantra I thought about while living in a place that’s been utterly transformed by resource extraction over the past century, and as I thought about the burnt landscapes I drove through."

More here.