Sid

They/Them - 18 I am a knitter, artist, and writer with a love for all things nerdy. This is a very personal blog where I talk about a wide range of topics including my current projects, thoughts, and finished work. I try to avoid social media, but you can find me on AO3 under the same name if you're interested in my work. Thanks for visiting!

[sid-notvicious]

Top 20 Characters of All Time

No, I'm not taking criticism on this.

#20: Lucy Gray Baird - The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes

Such a lovely character. She's one of the very few genuinely fun people in the Hunger Games, and I absolutely love her and the Covey. The way she haunts the story (and Snow) until the very end, even when he tried his best to erase her from history, is great. I also love the poem she's named after.

"Yet some maintain that to this day

She is a living child;

That you may see sweet Lucy Gray

Upon the lonesome wild.

O’er rough and smooth she trips along,

And never looks behind;

And sings a solitary song

That whistles in the wind."

completely unrelated, but I love this dress from the movie

#19: Henry of Skalitz - Kingdom Come: Deliverance

Just such a delightful man. He's realistic, likable, and fun to play as.

#18: Lae'zel of Creche K'Liir - Baldur's Gate 3

Such a good character arc and incredible design. The gith as a whole are so rarely empathetic characters, but Lae'zel has one of the most devastating and real arcs in the game. She's also just so cool. Beautiful armor and hair, incredible sword, pet red dragon, leading the gith rebellion? She's just a badass.

#17: Katniss Everdeen - The Hunger Games

Such a well-rounded character. Underrated in her own series. Not only sparks a rebellion through sheer kindness, but is strong enough to be the figurehead of it and see it through to the end. After finishing TBOSAS and SOTR, I only love her more for being the fire that finally burns Snow AND stops a new dictatorship from taking power at the same time.

Beautiful art by polearts_ on Instagram

#16: Handsome Jack - Borderlands 2 / Tales/ The Pre-Sequel

Gearbox, unfortunately, shot themselves in the foot when they made Handsome Jack. He's such an incredible villain that nobody will ever compare to him. Comically evil, somewhat empathetic, likable, funny, and still a truly cruel man, Jack is one of the most interesting villains of the 2010s while still being a full-on villain. His resentment of Angel runs so deep that it's almost like he still loves her. He almost destroys a planet in his search for ultimate power. He hijacks Rhys' arm and makes him strangle himself. He has a pet horse named Butt Stallion. Truly a man of multitudes.

#15: The Reporter - Perfect Vermin

A very bare-bones character, but that's what makes him so impactful. His obsession with being someone who people remember and his eventual battle with cancer after swearing to be different than his mother is so depressingly real. The entire epilogue in the doctor's office is devastating, as someone close to someone who has had cancer multiple times, and the quote "No one will care about my death if I don't prove to them that I lived" will probably haunt me for the rest of my life.

#14: Bayonetta / Cereza (1 + 2)

I could honestly talk for hours about Bayonetta. I didn't like the third game very much, but the first two are still incredible. Bayonetta's connection with little Cereza, the fact that she loved herself so much that she literally split the timeline so that she would never forget who she was, and Bayonetta 1/2's role as the maiden and crone is just beautiful. Also, she serves cunt. Such a fun and ridiculous game with such emotional moments and an incredibly likable main character.

#13: Serana - TES V: Skyrim

The vamp companion herself. Such a fun character, and one of the only companions in unmodded Skyrim with any personality. Her quest to find herself and finally live outside of the grasp of her parents is beautiful, as is her recovery from the horrors of becoming a Daughter of Coldharbour. I hate that so many mods exist just to sexualize her.

#12: Team Sonic - Sonic the Hedgehog

I just think they're neat. Tails and Amy are adorable, Knuckles is super cool, and Sonic is just a likable guy.

#11: Madoka / Homura - Madoka Magica

What can I say, I love doomed yuri. But seriously, the good/evil dynamic between them is so interesting and heartbreaking. Homura is one of my favorite morally grey characters, and the fact that Madoka had the most to lose out of the entire Holy Quintet but was still the only one to make a completely selfless wish in every timeline and be willing to sacrifice themselves for the chance to make the world a better place is so painful. I absolutely LOVE Madoka as a personification of hope and Homura being unable to accept that if it means she doesn't get to save her. I could talk about this for hours.

#10: Cole - Dragon Age: Inquisition

Again, I just think he's neat. I really wish they had done more with the idea of spirits being able to become human in other Dragon Age media. He's such a sweetie (I mean, c'mon, human embodiment of compassion in the most literal sense) and he never leaves my party.

#9: GlaDOS / Chell - Portal 1 + 2

Again, I love toxic yuri. Their dynamic in Portal 1 and 2 is so impressively established, considering Chell never says a single word. When I was like 10 and beat the second game for the first time 'Want You Gone' had me freaking out that I wasn't delusional, GlaDOS did care for Chell in some capacity, even if she tried to convince Chell (and herself) that it was just the leftover emotion from Caroline. One of the most iconic villains of the 2010s, and probably the most likable player character who never says a word.

#8: Pink Diamond / Rose Quartz - Steven Universe

The queen of morally grey characters herself. I love Pink / Rose. Her evolution from a puppet ruler who was kept as a perpetual child by her abusers to the leader of a rebellion who acted as many gems' first (and only) mother figure and forced her abusers away from Earth is incredible. I know many people resent her for never loving Pearl (in a romantic sense), but honestly, I think that just speaks to her character. She could easily take advantage of Pearl's undying (and programmed) devotion and love, but instead chooses to encourage her as much as possible to make connections independent of her. I would do unspeakable things for an SU movie from Rose's perspective, showing some of that time gap between the still-childish version of her we see at the end of A Single Pale Rose and the wise woman we see in the earliest flashbacks, when she was pregnant with Steven.

Gorgeous art by oxlxlo

#7: Midna + Link - TLOZ: Twilight Princess

Twilight Princess is (in my opinion) the best Zelda game. The characters are all so beautiful, the music is incredible, the story is insane, and the overall vibe is just gorgeous. Midna and the Twilight version of Link are definitely my favorite main pair in the series. Midna offers so much unique gameplay and a unique version of the typical Zelda 'helper' character. I, obviously, really like morally grey characters, and I love that you really see Midna change throughout the game as she sees just how much Link is willing to do to help the people of Hyrule (and beyond). I especially love the scene in the mirror chamber when she admits to having used Link to try and get what she wants just to leave the light world behind, but as soon as she apologizes he's completely cool with it and is down to enter more mortal danger just to help his weird shadow imp friend. The Frenelovers (Friend - Enemy - Lovers) Ever.

#6: The Master - Fallout 1

The Master and his super mutants are truly some of the most depressing characters in the entire series. The Master did so many terrible things just because he was convinced that he was going to save the world, only to find out that his reign of terror was for nothing. He's so devastated by this that he kills himself, leaving all the FEV mutants alone without a purpose in a world that knows them only as mindless monsters. They were supposed to save the world, but now they're nothing but the remains of a horrific cult and a failed plot to save humanity. I especially love how every facet of his personality speaks when he says "It cannot be" as if every part of him has just realized the true weight of his actions. Such a good villain, ugh.

#5: Thorin Oakenshield - The Hobbit

Thorin's story is just such a good tragedy. All descendants of his grandfather are doomed to feel the goldsickness, and even a man as strong as Thorin couldn't move past it. He and his beloved nephews all die as a result, and he never gets to see the kingdom he worked so hard to bring back return to its former glory.

lovely art by @/maedictus

#4: Kira Nerys - Star Trek: Deep Space 9

Kira, like Sisko, is such an incredible character from day one, whereas most of the others in DS9 take a while to really develop. Her struggles with PTSD, her religion, and trying to keep Bajor together while they rebuild are so well written. Her conversation with Kai Opaka on her violent past in the episode 'Battle Lines' is especially touching. Honestly, Nana Visitor is such an incredible actor, and Kira does so much for DS9's discussions on both war and the aftermath.

#3: Bheem + Ram - R.R.R. (Rise Roar Revolt)

RRR in general is a great work of anti-colonialism, but I especially love Ram and Bheem's role in the rebellion. Bheem takes on a much more obviously hostile role in the fight against British occupation, leaving him at odds with Ram, who is acting as a devoted British officer to protect his village. The scene where they realize that they are brothers in the fight for a free India is great, and honestly, RRR is one of the best movies I've ever seen. The British officer telling the other soldiers not to kill the Indian civilians with their guns because "One Indian life is not even worth a bullet" is chilling, as is the British ladies' treatment of Malli. Probably the only 3-hour movie to exist where there isn't anything boring, and it's all because of these two.

#2: Dorian Pavus - Dragon Age: Inquisition

I'm usually not a huge fan of characters in romance-heavy RPGs having set sexualities, but I absolutely love how Dorian's sexuality ties into his story. His struggle with deciding if he can (and if he even should) reconcile with his father after what he tried to do to him is great, as is his romance with the Iron Bull if the player doesn't romance either of them. What I love most about Dorian, though, is his relationship with slavery and the class system. Honestly, his original view on slavery is... kind of understandable. To him, it's just another part of life. And he does raise a very good point about the elves in the alienages being slaves in all but name. Don't worry, I'm not about to start defending fictional slavery. He is very obviously wrong. But I really love that he's allowed to be so wrong without being a villain, and while still growing as a person throughout the game, especially if you're playing as Lavellan. His love for Tevinter and drive to make it a better place for everyone is really compelling, and as many issues as I had with the Tevinter we see in DA:V, I love that he was apparently successful in stopping (legal) slavery. He also just has a great personality and is absolutely gorgeous. Like, oh my god?? That's a beautiful man.

and last but not least...

#1: Benjamin Sisko - Star Trek: Deep Space 9

Honestly, just a great dude. One of the only really good father figures I can think of in media. An open-minded but still flawed man. His entire character arc is so great. Avery Brooks is an incredible actor, and I especially love his performances in 'In the Pale Moonlight' and his argument with Quark, when Quark confronts him about his resentment of the Ferengi (can't remember the episode :( ) His interactions with everyone in the crew are great, especially his struggle to understand Jadzia (and later Ezri) and his weird resentment-appreciation of Garak. I also love how much Brooks worked to make sure that Sisko was explicitly tied to African-American culture, like when he wears the Homestead Grays hat (an all-black baseball team from the early to mid-1900s). Just such an incredible character who means so much to me, the Star Trek community as a whole, and especially black men, as a black character who was allowed to be emotional and nuanced. He loves baseball. He punched an all-powerful being beyond his comprehension in the face, while also being chill with the Prophets. He's a great dad. He explained the very concept of linear existence to a mysterious entity on his first day on the job. He allows nearly everyone on his crew, including himself, to commit acts of terrorism every so often. He's haunted by the sheer weight on his shoulders. And he can live with it. He CAN live with it.

And now it's time for everyone's favorite part (if you're still here this far into this long-ass post)...

Honorable Mentions!

Spy - TF2

Ethel Cain - Preacher's Daughter

Amanda Young - Saw

Abbi + Ilana - Broad City

Rosalina - Mario Galaxy

In case you can't tell, I really like female characters

[sid-notvicious]

So, I've been working on a Midwest-based Fallout fic for a couple weeks now. I'll be posting the first chapter to AO3 soon, but I've been thinking a lot about how the prairies would survive the Great War and exactly how the people who live here would develop afterward. Please enjoy my world-building dump!

The Landscape

Based on this map of the bombs (I have no idea if this is even close to canon, but whatever), the very central Midwest wasn't really a target. Iowa and Nebraska are pretty much untouched, as well as half of Kansas, South Dakota, and Missouri.

Prairie grass, in case you don't know, is incredibly well-adapted to surviving fires. Prairies burn easily, so most native plants have extremely deep roots. Like, upwards of 6 feet underground for a single patch of sweetgrass.

So, the prairies would survive much better than the terrain on the East and West coasts, right? I don't know much about the ecology in other places, but I've seen plenty of prairies spring back from controlled burns in less than a year. Sure, a nuclear blast would be harder to recover from, but I think the native flora could do it.

I'm imagining the native grass slowly homogenizing into one truly massive species of prairie grass that grows over 6 feet tall and has roots that burrow almost 20 feet down. Tall and thin coneflowers and wild roses, gnarled and strange-looking patches of wild asparagus, mutated queen ann's lace and wild parsnips growing in bizarre colors and shapes, prairie lillies and other flowers growing to hold what little rain they get in the summer months almost like an organic cup.

The rivers and lakes would obviously be unsafe to drink, but water hyacinth and soft rush are both pretty abundant here. The water definitely wouldn't be as dangerous as it is in the games.

The People

Contrary to what some may think, the Midwest is super diverse. You can go to pretty much any Walmart and see at least one of every race, plus a random group of Amish people.

The Amish and other farmers/people who live in rural areas would come together in the least damaged areas of the prairie and build new farming communities, eventually expanding into a huge network of towns and even small cities that I have been referring to as the Amish Hills. The Hills don't have an overarching governing body like the NCR, but the people tend to look toward the oldest in their communities for guidance. Several times over the years, these elders have come together at conferences in the central Hills communities to unite the Amish against threats like raiders and fiends. Those from the Hills who identify with the religion and philosophy of the area are referred to as Amish, regardless of whether or not they are actually descended from an Amish family. Descendants of actual Amish people tend to still dress similarly (Long hair and beards, flowing skirts, suspenders, bonnets and other hair coverings, etc) but have mostly homogenized with the other cultures of the Hills.

The Postnuclear Midwest is home to other communities, too.

Omaha, Nebraska, was formed into New Omaha, a huge settlement spanning most of the original Omaha. The original founders of NO were people who survived within the city after the initial blast. 20 years after the founding of New Omaha, the mayor at the time bought a rare GECK device from a raider group, using it to sculpt the city's ruins into a paradise.  NO has grown exponentially and is well known for agriculture and its exotic pets. Most recently, the government of New Omaha formed the Omaha Republic, leveraging their power over the surrounding settlements to form a more 'proper' government, similar to the NCR. Many wastelanders adopted the hundreds of animals within the Omaha Zoo as companions, and their descendants live on to this day as cuddly house pets, sturdy field workers, and fierce guard animals.

In 2270, the Omaha Republic mandated that all breeding of these animals go through a specialized program to prevent overpopulation. The Ark is built in the ruins of the Zoo and houses many different species. A collection of specialized farms in the Charles Schwab Field are used to feed them. These animals are only sold to the most trusted outsiders, and even citizens of the Republic who wish to buy one undergo extensive testing and home checks to ensure that they can care for them.

Graveyard is a city so large it nearly matches New Omaha, populated almost entirely by ghouls and other heavily mutated people. Some unmutated humans, usually the family and close friends of mutants, do live there, but mostly live in their own neighborhoods where there is less radiation than in the rest of the city.  Similar to Necropolis, Graveyard has issues with organized crime, although it is much more peaceful (and functional) than the Fallout 1 location. Graveyard is run by a council made up almost entirely of pre-war ghouls, with one FEV mutant and two mutated humans presiding. This ten-person council runs the city, as well as multiple trading caravans. The ruins of Des Moines, where Graveyard was built, are still radioactive so long after the war due to an experimental dead-hand system that was triggered when the bombs dropped. The human residents and caravan merchants live within only six known safe locations within the city, which are on the outskirts and known as the 'Smoothskin Quarter'. Several suits of power armor and other anti-rad measures are available for rent by those needing to visit the Glow District.

Nonferal ghouls are usually treated decently by the people of the Midwest, as there are so many pre-war ones, but many still feel the pull to Graveyard. Ghouls just have different needs than humans, and a nice dip in a radioactive pool does wonders for the stress of surviving almost 300 years of nuclear fallout.

Factions

Several factions exist in the Midwest, though non hold very much power over the larger Midwest or wasteland...yet.

The Omaha Republic: Based out of New Omaha, controls several surrounding settlements and a few specialty traders. The outer settlements focus on agriculture, while NO is dedicated to breeding exotic animals.

The Elders of the Amish Hills: The unoffical leaders of the Hills, this council is made up of the oldest and most repected citizens. As of 2295, these leaders are; Brandy-Lee Walsh of Washburn, Russell Timbly of Sunflower, Felicia Coal of Yannisburg, Darryl Jones of New Kalona, Rebecca Wilds of Westbrook, and Joseph-Grey Salt of Woodvale. When an issue demands that the Hills come together, a conference will be called to order in a central settlement. All are welcome to speak out and vote, but these leaders have the most influence.

Green Council: The group who leads Graveyard and all affiliated caravans. As of 2295 the council is made up of ten members. Guthrie and Janice Matthews, Deborah, Nathan Riker, Esmerelda Eve, Father Johnson, and Fu Zhang are all pre-war ghouls and founded Graveyard back in 2102. Kyrie and Kyle are twin mutant humans who sport gills, skin covered in patches of scales, and small fins along their limbs. The two claim to have been born in the now-irradiated water treatment plant near Cedar Rapids, but rumours say they are actually experimental clones from the West Coast. They ascended to the council after gaining control of most of the city's water supply. Frank is an FEV experiment from the East Coast who was brought back by a trade caravan. He acts more as a bodyguard for the rest of the council, particularly Esmerelda Eve, but is still recognized and treated as a member.

Enclave fragments: because they just won't die.

Legion fragments: several groups of Caesar's Legion have been spotted around the smaller settlements of the Midwest, evidently still loyal to Caesar even after his death. Nobody knows what they plan to do or why they decided to go East.

Brotherhood of Steel: Evidently, the BoS took an interest in the Midwest after the Prydwen and several other ships passed through on the way to the East Coast. Most Midwesterners are indifferent to the cause, and as most settlements have very little advanced technology, the Brotherhood is just as indifferent toward them. However, New Omaha has some incredible gene-splicing research in its labs, Cedar Rapids was a hub for aerospace engineers, and several members of the Green Council have retained their power over Graveyard through advanced technology and research. The Brotherhood may be planning something, and it can't be good for the mutants of the cities.

Overall, I've been having a lot of fun with this project, and I'm super excited to share it!

[sid-notvicious]

Why is it so difficult for Larian to just treat Wyll like an actual character?

I mean, seriously. He's an origin character. He's basically the prince of Baldur's Gate. His character arc and story is the most central to the main plot of the game. WHY is he treated like a side character? Why does his romance have less content and more bugs than HALSIN'S? Why is his entire story basically skippable? The first time I played BG3 I almost completely missed the fight with Ansur, because whenever I talked to Wyll, he never said a word about it.

Yes, he was basically completely rewritten right before the game left early access, and yes, he and lae'zel are the only origin characters who share a writer, but WHY does that mean that they're STILL incapable of giving him more content?

The way Larian bends to the will of fans for things like adding Halsin as a companion or letting you recruit Minthara without killing the tieflings (neither of which really make sense narratively) but completely ignore every single comment on their posts asking for more Wyll content is a HORRIBLE look for them, and I truly don't understand why they refuse to just LISTEN.

I would really like to be able to say that this isn't about racism. I really would. But I truly can't think of any other reason why they would dig their heels in this strongly. Wyll's voice actor is pretty active in the fandom, he's a literal knight in shining armor, he, Lae'zel, and durge are the most connected to the main story of the game, and he has so much potential with the whole 'monster hunter becomes a monster' thing.

The 8 patches in the years since BG3 released have added so much content, and so many huge story overhauls. I truly don't understand why photo mode and more subclasses have been given more priority over making a main character of the game actually functional, but it's been driving me insane for months now.

[sid-notvicious]

The birthday present I've been working on for 2 weeks is officially being blocked!! this is my first time knitting with beads, and only the third time I've done colorwork, and I'm super proud of it!

This is cotton yarn with 5 mm needles, based off of the thistle market bag by alexandra tavel, and the bead pattern is my own design. I've been referring to it as The Lush Night Bag. Honestly I loved this project so much I might make another one with a daytime design instead of the moon phases for my own use.

I know my friend is going to love it, but I'm gonna be sad to see this beauty go.

🌿🌙 🌿

[sid-notvicious]

I wrote my final English paper on the link between fandom and religious practices

I'm graduating in less than 2 months and for my final project for my final English class ever, I decided to explore the similarities between fandom and faith through three famous fandom fuck-ups that I feel exemplify this. I talked about Ms. Scribe's cult of personality, the Snapewives proto-Christianity and mysticism, and Andy Thanfiction's horrific cycle of cult abuse. If you're interested the full project has been posted to AO3 both because I wanted to share it with the wider fandom and I thought it would be a funny way to present it to my teacher. You can read it here if you're interested.

Here's Andy's mugshot from the BitOfEarth era, because writing this paper reminded me of just how much of a scumbag he is.