✌︎('ω')✌︎

Yo, this is a positivity blog for masculine queer men. We need love, too! Trans-inclusive! Bi/pan/a-phobia will NOT be tolerated. Don't be afraid to ask me something! Submissions are open.

[lavenderlion]

This might suck to hear, but if you're a people pleaser that is motivated by praise and avoids disagreements, you are easy to manipulate.

When I was in therapy after surviving years of domestic violence, my therapist had to tell me that my personality was primed for abuse and we needed to work on that so I would be better equipped to see the red flags and respond appropriately in the future.

I'm still working on this, and it's been 8 years. If you tell someone how you want to be treated, what behaviors you don't tolerate in your life, what you're looking for in that relationship, and they react negatively, don't compromise yourself. Just move on.

This one's for all the praise-kink girlies: differentiate, self-actualize, stay sexy

[lavenderlion]

This resonated with more people than I thought, so here are some phrases to practice when you would normally default to people pleasing:

I'm not comfortable with that.

I'd rather not, but thank you for the offer!

You're welcome to disagree, but that's not something I'm okay with.

No.

It's personal, and I'd prefer to keep it private.

That doesn't work for me. How about x

I respect your opinion, but I'd rather do it my way.

That is behavior that I don't tolerate.

To each their own.

I'm not looking for feedback right now, but if I'm looking for input later, I'll let you know.

Oh, I'm not sure I agree; I thought x

When you did/said x, I wasn't okay with that.

I don't accept your apology.

I can accept your apology once you've addressed the problem.

Hey, could you help me with x?

I need to stop.

I need some time to myself.

Just remember, your thoughts, feelings, and opinions are what make you unique, and you can change your mind later, so don't be afraid to say them out loud. Work through things. Don't dodge them.

[orangepenguino]

x

[dancinginmyeyes]

ive read a lot of anti-transition arguments towards people unsure about their gender that basically pose any sort of internal exploration as inherently solipsistic and narcissistic, with the mantra being that to think about your relationship to your assigned sex is already thinking too much; you should be thinking less! go get a job! work with your hands! volunteer for the needy! get involved in your local church! pray! marry! start a family! keep yourself busy, so you can never think about yourself again. maybe if you fill your mind with enough noise, you can drown your own conscience out.

im 100% not exaggerating btw, it's actually kind of madness inducing w how many times ive seen people use this mode of argument, it's extremely common. i think ive seen conversion therapy resources use a similar line of reasoning too. and like, if you are a cis person just trying to keep a closeted tranny in the closet, it works like a charm. you can, in fact, drown a person with enough noise and garbage until they stop thinking about their gender dysphoria or, well, anything. all the better that "i saw the tv glow" addresses it head on in relation to the closeted subject in question; yeah, go ahead, do it. you might be trans, you might actually be in serious danger, but it won't hurt if you don't think. and it will work for you, for years and years, and you'll always find more responsibilities and more opportunities to muffle your thoughts. but, maybe 5, 10, 20 years from now, none of the noise will be enough and it will dawn on you, how seriously in danger you actually are - but by that point you've drowned out your own inner conscience so aggressively that there's nothing there, just more of the static and noise of others and no interiority left to seek refuge in. you've got a job, you've buried yourself in work, you've married and have a family; you've given every part of yourself to others just to preclude the possibility of thinking about yourself, for yourself, and now there's no you.

[dancinginmyeyes]

ive genuinely lost track of the number of people who tagged this post w "oh shit this is me i gotta change" or smth to that effect, i knew i would get some notes like that, but not as consistently as it has been. i am deeply glad that this post is serving as a wake up call for a great many people who've been suppressing their transness to appease other people, sometimes without even realizing it. the moment you finally stop trying to please society and the people around you is the moment you claw yourself out of your grave and begin to actually live your life. don't let it be a fleeting thought; act on it, give it life, make it real, crawl out of the simulacrum you've trapped yourself in and live.

[the-delta-quadrant-deactivated2]

most trans people who people like to call "non transitioning" actually do transition, but people don't want to acknowledge that not all transition is medical

changing your hair is transition

deciding to shave or grow your body hair is transition

doing something different with make up is transition

changing your new wardrobe is transition

changing your name is transition

changing your pronouns is transition

coming out to people is transition

even just accepting your own transness without telling anyone else is transition, as it changes how you see yourself

it's almost impossible to be trans and truly non transitioning, even if that transition might be non medical, non visible or entirely self contained

all kinds of transition are valid.

there are also things that aren't necessarily associated with transition that an individual may consider to be part of their transition, like working out to make their body look different, getting piercings and tattoos and so much more

there are so many ways of transitioning besides surgery and hormones

"non transitioning nonbinary/trans person" is just code for "i don't consider your transition to be real because it doesn't fully fit into what cis people expect"

"some parents would rather have a non transitioning trans child than one who does" like yeah no shit. a non transitioning trans child is a trans child who doesn't come out, doesn't change anything about themself. not their name, not their pronouns, not their hair or wardrobe. a non transitioning trans child is a trans child who never talks about being trans so their parents can pass them off as cis. a non transitioning trans child is a trans child that is in the closet. of course a lot of parents would rather have a trans child who stays in the closet so they don't have to deal with their transness. but you all mean "non transitioning" as in "not medically transitioning" and that's not true either. trans people get kicked out of their house for doing as little as changing their pronouns. and if you say you're doing literally anything as part of your transition/because you're trans, people will absolutely give you shit for it, while a cis person can do the same thing and it's no biggie. social transition is not accepted at all.

there are some weird trans people out there who will completely dismiss people's life saving transition steps as "non transitioning" because they don't fit cis ideas of transness, it's disgusting

when i say "transition" i'm always including medical transition and social transition, as well as anything else an individual may consider part of their transition that doesn't necessarily fit into the two boxes

also can we stop acting like social transition isn't also constantly under attack

[areyouscaredyet]

im not particularly religious but i think it’s very cute that Trans Day of Visibility and Easter are on the same day this year :)

its no question that something like this could be triggering or upsetting to a number of queer ppl given the current sociopolitical climate, so i want everyone to remember that u are loved! Regardless of what u or others believe, there are ppl who will love and support you always. Give yourself patience and treat yourself with care!!!

happy and peaceful TDOV everyone!! And Easter to those who celebrate :D

[twixnmix]

James Baldwin photographed by Dave Pickoff in Harlem, June 1963. 

[staticnoisesss]

how you can help palestine

*i regularly update this post with any new info i find so please always reblog the original post*

Donations

palestine children's relief fund

palestine red crescent society

help bring down israel's weapon trade - palaction

save palestine - islamic relief canada

click to donate - arab.org

send medical supplies to gaza - palestinian american medical association

NOTE: journalists based in gaza are saying that donations are not going to help atm. what will help is a demand for ceasefire. so please contact your local MPs every single day demanding as such. palestine need a ceasefire right now, not money (i will update when monetary help is needed)

if you want to donate, do this instead:

help buy e-sims for people in gaza (you can follow this tutorial. if the simly app is not accepting donations or “gifts” then you can check out holafly. those are the only two that are working well right now. if you would like to stay updated, please follow @/Mirna_elhelbawi on twitter)

support palestinians: buy a keffiyeh from the last and only factory in palestine - hibarwi

Petitions

petition to investigate war crimes committed by israeli military

demand ceasefire - amnesty.org

open call for immediate ceasefire

american government call for immediate ceasefire

american government to stop funding israeli military

ceasefire and increase humanitarian assistance - oxfam au

petition to get canva to address their pro-israel stance

they have been deleting private pro-palestine posts

location specific petitions

gaza call for ceasefire - oxfam (UK)

end israeli occupation - parliament uk (UK)

email your MP - medical aid for palestine (UK)

stop fuelling genocide - action network (USA)

ceasefirenow.com - jewishvoiceofpeace (USA)

call congress and demand a ceasefire - uscpr (USA - they provide a script of what you should say, so don't worry about it)

note: you can call everyday. they tally the number of calls per issue. so more calls = higher chance for them to take action. p.s. you mainly go to voicemail so don’t worry about phone call anxiety. fight through it just this once please.

australia call on israel to stop attacking palestinians - apan (AUS)

sign to send letter to MP for ceasefire - nccm (CANADA)

ceasefire now! - ijv (CANADA)

cessez-le-feu et un couloir humanitaire - le mouvement (FRANCE)

write to your député - assemblée nationale (FRANCE)

skydda civilbefolkningen i gaza! - mittskifte (SWEDEN)

singaporeans call for immediate ceasefire (SIN)

contact your elected reps and demand a ceasefire (GERMANY)

write to the EU demanding a ceasefire (EUROPE)

template of letters you can send (EU)

guide on how to contact your MPs in EU

multiple actions you can take to help palestine - plant een olifbloom (NETHERLANDS)

includes: links for donations, emails to MP, emails to media, links to petitions and demonstrations

den haag, maak nú werk van vrede in israël/Palestina - the right forum (NETHERLANDS)

Campaigns

friends of al-aqsa

❥ UK-specific

urge your MP to speak up for palestine

hands off al-aqsa

stop administrative detention

petition for UK to stop arming israel

❥ International

boycott puma — email them to end their partnership with israel

boycott coca-cola

palestine action

join the resistance

islamic relief canada

urge your MP to rally for ceasefire

decolonise palestine

poster campaign to raise awareness on the war crimes being committed against palestinians | (very very important please share + read the sources provided)

text/call campaign for people living in USA

text CEASEFIRE @ 51905 to call for a ceasefire

text RESIST @ 50409 to send a letter to your representatives to pass HR3103–a bill that prohibits tax dollars from going to israel

download 5Calls app to contact members of your congress | (more info)

BDS movement

get involved in boycotting companies associated with israel

please let me know if you have any more links. i will add them in. and please reblog the original post!!

UPCOMING PROTESTS

PALESTINIAN LITERATURE READING LIST

[our-queer-experience]

i need transmascs to understand that like. your model of masculinity does not have to be a skinny white person with fluffy hair, wears makeup, and is devoid of all sexual characteristics. it’s ok to be fat and gross and harry and ‘unappealing’ and want bottom surgery and in fact it’s very cool of us. i promise u that we have frameworks for masculinity outside of stereotypes and they’re cool and fun.

idk my goal in life is to be an old man who lives in a small town with a beer belly, a dog, and a large vinyl collection i’ll excitedly walk everyone through. i want phallo and to go on t and get married to another trans person and live a completely average life. this is something i can achieve, actually. on this blog we romanticize average existence.

[veronicaisnotonline]

Green Day solicit donations for HIV/AIDS organization, 1994

[allthebrazilianpolitics]

Brazil high court rules homophobia punishable by prison

Brazil's Supreme Court ruled Tuesday that homophobic slurs are now punishable by prison, in a decision applauded by rights activists in a country with rampant violence against the LGBTQ+ community.

The 9-1 ruling puts homophobic hate speech on the same legal level as racist hate speech, which was already punishable by prison in Brazil.

Justice Edson Fachin, the lead judge on the case, said in his ruling it was a "constitutional imperative" to give LGBTQ+ citizens equal protection under the law.

The court had ruled in 2019 that homophobia was a crime, just like racism.

But the earlier decision applied to slurs against the LGBTQ+ community as a whole, not attacks on specific individuals.

Continue reading.

[transexualbat-moved-deactivated]

@xcoliosis

[animentality]

[pastperfectcontinuous]

Sandra Cisneros, A House of My Own

[aforlorngazeintoyesterday-deact]

we need to destigmatize dropping out of college I am so serious. like dude if u realize that is Bad For You then you can just Leave. I am so fucking serious. just stop. there are other options and you don’t need to force yourself through shit you can’t do and go into debt. i promise you can just Not.

[sideofmaduros]

There are tons of options that do not need college! And college is not for everyone! Real estate, skilled trades, insurance, and fire or police departments are some ideas for fields that do not require degrees. And they pay well!

[honeysucklebuttons]

The tweet: https://twitter.com/Lionhearted_ben/status/1629919975203848192?t=HfF1j3BVqZMgZEIHgVnz3w&s=19

And in case Twitter is being a fool, here's the PDF itself: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1PiO5JAc2_erXL9rEPU-Gj4DXQ3N0dTbe/view

Shout-out to a friend for showing me this!!

[crossdreamers]

Powerful Speech Halts Bathroom Ban In Arkansas: "Most Extreme Anti-trans Law In America" Gets Pulled

Erin Reed made us aware of  Senator Tucker’s amazing floor speech that results in Arkansas’ bathroom ban getting pulled back into committee. He convinced the senate that is 80% Republican to retreat with words alone.

The American Republican Party’s descent into total spiritual darkness seems to be never-ending. However, a recent law proposal in Arkansas went so far that even the Republican law makers could not go along with it.

Erin writes:

The bill before the Arkansas Senate was Senate Bill 270, sponsored by Senator John Payton ®. This bill amounts to a full adult bathroom ban. It states that a transgender person cannot be in a bathroom at the same time as a person under 18 years old. 

Trans people violating this law would be guilty of “sexual indecency with a child,” a law that includes depraved things like soliciting someone under 14 for sex or propositioning a child to display their genitalia in a sexual fashion. It would make transgender people who use bathrooms of their gender identity sex criminals. 

The bill would have severe consequences. It would ban transgender people from bathrooms in many circumstances. It would force transgender people to leave if a minor enters, even if they are in the middle of using the bathroom in a stall. It would create an environment conducive to violence against the trans community. 

The law proposal was not grounded in real threats against kids. Its only purpose was to stigmatize trans people to such extent that they can no longer live their lives as regular people. The goal of these laws are to erase trans people from society and force them back into hiding. If this isn’t evil, what is?

Read Erin’s post here.

Do watch the video below. It is worth your time.

[transenbyconfessions]

Just wanted to share a tip for my fellow transmascs who get chest dysphoria when they get out of the shower.Hang your towel over your shoulders to cover your chest instead of wrapping it around. I’ve been doing this for a while and when I look in the mirror I look sexy and masc as hell. Highly recommend.

February 9, 2023

[sideofmaduros]

I can second this, it really does help!

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

It's good to fight for your goals, but there are definitely situations where giving up and letting go will make you a lot happier than continuing to push through. Sometimes quitting is genuinely the best thing you can do for yourself. So we shouldn't shame people for knowing and respecting their limits - we should celebrate it.