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Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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izzy's playlists!
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seen from Ukraine
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@sidereal-fantasies
My new sideblog is @empty-fantasies where you’ll find out I never had a life to begin with- I’m kidding... I’ll be exploring a few other fandoms in hopes to eventually get my inspiration to write for this blog again soon. Until then, please look forward to the content I’ll be posting soon!
Hello 👋,
I hope this message finds you well. My name is Aziz, and I’m reaching out with a heartfelt plea to help my family find safety and reunite with our mother. 😞
The ongoing war in Gaza has torn my family apart. My mother and newborn sister are stranded in Egypt, while I, along with the rest of my sex family members, am trapped in the midst of the genocide in Gaza. We have not only been separated but have also lost our home and are enduring unimaginable hardships. 💔
Your support can make a difference. Whether by reading our story, donating, or sharing our campaign with others, you can help us reunite, find safety, and start anew. 🙏🕊
Thank you, from the depths of my heart, for your kindness, compassion, and solidarity during this difficult time. ❤🍉
https://gofund.me/58268669 🔗
“moonlight, won’t you guide me out of this maze? or will you let me be consumed by my own madness?”
a reader insert with no set member in mind. the moon being the only guiding light to this young man who has found himself lost within some maze, slowly losing himself to the madness of needing to relight the flame of passion.
Breathe in.
Your voice is but a faint memory in the back of his mind now. Barely a whisper hanging on to its last hope as he continues trudging forward into the unknown. He should have found what he was looking for, right? Yet, with every step he takes, his body only grows more numb.
Breathe out.
There is nothing left he can give. His heart is nothing more than a shell of what it was. Images fade from his wary mind, meshing together before slowly slipping away as if they never existed in the first place. Should he continue?
He looks up and there is nothing above him except for a lonely moon on a blank canvas. There’s something echoing off in the distance; a steady thump thump thump. It’s familiar and he knows it is calling for him. Is it his heart?
Breathe in.
No. It wasn’t his heart, yet something spurred him to keep going once he pried his eyes away from the moon above. Thump thump thump. The tempo continues, fueling him to push forward. You once mentioned there to be some sort of signal between the two of you. He wasn’t sure how that was the only thing on his mind now. Perhaps it was his own way of avoiding insanity.
Breathe out.
You once mentioned how beautiful the moon was. Being able to become a beacon in the abyssmal night. It is asymbol that one can survive life. A guiding light to the end of the tunnel or to a new beginning--he wasn’t sure himself.
“You never meant it that way though,” he huffed out.
Surviving is a numbing experience; one that dulls his heart with every breath he takes as he trades a memory for an ounce of hope. Your image is barely there. Your voice lost due to his desperation for freedom. Your touch? Gone, just like his heart.
He reaches out, grasping the air in front of him as if something will manifest. Frantically, he looks around him, realizing that the light above him is fading. The steady tempo before is muffled by rippling puddles beneath his tired feet. Has he finally lost it? Have you finally given up on him?
moonlight, though your light dims. i can still feel that you are there...
hmm,, post apocalyptic setting with a side of cyberpunk thrown in to the mess with Ateez leading a whole rebellion au? me thinks a new idea has popped up—
It’s been quite some time since I last showed up here, aha. Anyways, I’ve been pretty busy and while I do want to get this blog running again, I’ve already have a side blog up to expand into other fandoms. I think to get back into the groove of things, I’ll be needing to expand a little more and so, I hope everyone is not upset with that decision.
Lover’s Nightmare
[Jung Wooyoung]
🎃 Love/Hate - Cameron Sanderson 🎃
Murderer/Serial Killer!Jung Wooyoung
Short One-Shot/Drabble
WARNING(S): Implied descriptions of blood, Minor Cursing
Jung Wooyoung was the epitome of sweet temptation and impish desires wrapped up in a pleasant daydream.
A man who was known by many as a social butterfly who had the most unusual connections and a typical reputation of being the eyecandy of many hopeless romantics. Despite these attempts to connect with everyone, an air of mystery always followed Wooyoung wherever he went. It wasn’t troublesome, but given his social nature, it was quite peculiar.
Or perhaps, that was you reading too much into his character.
It was one of the many mysteries that surrounded Wooyoung for you always remained focused on work and school. Experiencing romance had always fallen low on the list of priorities in life for you. You never complained nor felt guilty for being straightforward with your intentions. You were simply a college student drowning in student debt and working a basic part-time job that barely gave you enough hours to cover for basic necessities. Romance wasn’t exactly in your schedule.
Wooyoung’s care-free nature and your disciplined front clashed, but here you were; taking the dive and being blinded by Wooyoung’s affection.
His smile, sweet as the sugar mixed in a stolen spoonful of cookie dough and warm like the sunshine in the early morning hours never failed to bring about a spur of butterflies in your stomach each and every time you were able to catch a glimpse of it. His playfulness was contagious, always succeeding in distracting you from the stressfulness of life. Couple that smile with his melodic laughter and you were completely smittened—blinded even, in the illusion of love that the two of you managed to create over a short period of time. Oh, how foolish you were to let your guard down the moment you deemed it was safe to do so. Perhaps that’s when your unfortunate fate was sealed.
Perhaps, it was the moment you fell in love with Jung Wooyoung. For that feeling of your heart swelling with admiration and desire was all that was needed to keep you from noticing the dark future that awaited you.
You were convinced, however, like the lovestruck fool that you were, that this was all some nightmare that you were stuck in. A bad dream that will end the moment you take your final breath and ultimately wake up with Wooyoung’s arms wrapped tightly around your waist, protecting you from the little monsters that roam at night and terrorize those in dreamland.
Yet, here you were instead, staring up at the same face that you fell in love with as he loomed over you with the moonlight illuminating his figure as if he is some fallen angel waiting for that very moment you hoped would reveal a better fate.
The air, as thick as it was with the scent of iron, was cool. It was the only thing that brought you comfort as the feeling of life in your body seeped away. The wound to your side throbbed violently with each passing moment, but you couldn’t manage to put enough pressure on it and therefore, left your body to lay on the concrete, waiting patiently for Wooyoung to cut the last thread you were desperately hanging on to.
“Sweetheart,” Wooyoung hummed as he crouched down.
Your chapped lips remained tightly pressed together, not daring to say anything to the man you once called your lover.
“You were so close,” he sighed as his hand reached out for one of your own. His fingers grazed the inside of your cold palm. “Just a few more steps and you would have been free.”
You swallowed the hard lump that had formed in your throat as you glared at the man above you.
“Fuck you, Jung Wooyoung,” you cursed.
No words left Wooyoung’s mouth. All he gave in response was a simple shrug of the shoulders before he sat down right next to you. He broke his gaze away from your piercing one and glanced up at the night sky above you two.
“It won’t be long now, [Name],” he chuckled softly. “You still have a few hours before Halloween ends and then maybe, you’ll be able to escape your little nightmare.”
A little nightmare. That’s all this is, after all, you thought as you sucked in a shaky breath. Like the fool you were, you still tried to convince yourself just that. However, it felt like time was not on your side as each breath you took seemed to take every bit of energy you had. Your heart refused to speed up its tempo, dragging every beat out for as long as it can. Eventually, you turned your own eyes up towards the sky in an attempt to bury the bitterness that clouded your mind deep down in your soul. This is it, you thought, staring at the moon above. I’ll die with the moon as my only witness.
Only silence came as an answer as Wooyoung turned to look back at your sprawled figure. The rosy hue that once decorated your warm cheeks now formed a bloody puddle underneath your body. Your breath, often wasted in muttered curses directed towards your assignments and work, was now shallow— almost too shallow for Wooyoung’s liking.
“It’ll be okay,” Wooyoung murmured softly as he brushed a few stray strands of hair off your sweat-covered forehead.
“I’ll wake you up a little later. Just sleep this bad dream away for now.”
End of the Horizon M.S.
[A prequel to Hala Hala!Ateez]
Everything begins with a thought. That thought then turns into a theory. That theory then transforms into reality. However, the only way to achieve reality is to be consumed by the method of madness we use to pursue our deepest desires. Over and over and over again, one must repeat the process until the perfect results are achieved and can be replicated over and over and over again. It is our hands that create what destroys everything and everyone we ever loved dearly and never knew at all.
File 001
Kim Hongjoong - Heartbreak
File 002
Park Seonghwa - Envy in Red
File 003
Jeong Yunho - Fear’s Mirror
File 004
Kang Yeosang - Uncertain Moon
GLITCH
File 005
Choi San - Pride’s Roots
File 006
Song Mingi - Similar Pieces
File 007
Jung Wooyoung - Devil’s Play
File 008
Choi Jongho - Failed Youth
“Welcome to Eden’s Paradise.”
(Slight WARNING: implied character death) Blurb Time! The price of time can never be left unpaid. For only misfortune and destruction waits for you at the end of the road...
Fear.
The one emotion no one has ever been able to completely get rid of. It lurks in the depths of everyone’s minds, creeping and inching its way across anxious thoughts and shaky consciousness.
Jongho stared down the barrel of the gun as he aimed it right between your eyebrows. The cold tip of it gently rested against the spot as you stared right back at Jongho with hands, one empty and the other clutching an empty syringe, raised and beside your head in defeat.
“Why did you do it?” Jongho demanded.
The corners of your rosy lips remained curled upwards as you gave him a simple shrug of your shoulders.
“What exactly are you talking about, Jongho?” You mused.
The tip of the gun pressed further, causing you to take a step back. “Everything,” he began under a hushed tone. “From spreading lies to locking up our friends. Why did you do it, [Name]?”
The urge to laugh in the stoic man’s face threatened your composure. A flicker of fear flashed on his features every now and then as you matched his glare with your own amused expression. “Just like the rest of you, I am simply a wandering copy trying to insert myself into a world where there’s already enough of me to cause havoc.”
Jongho raised the gun slightly before he lowered it once more, aiming at the same spot from earlier. “I’m not here to play games, Alice,” he scoffed.
“But we are, aren’t we? That’s your plan, right? To find my true counterpart and to do what I did to you to them, correct?” You paused, taking in the slight falter in Jongho’s usually calm composure. The corners of your lips faintly twitched as you presented the syringe to Jongho. “That’s the game, right? I’m Alice, this is Wonderland, and this syringe here is your supposed key to getting out of this place.”
“This... is the inception of the game, correct?”
Jongho’s hand trembled slightly as his eyes widen
“Do it, coward,” you muttered. “Or is the fear—”
Bam!
The sudden abruptness seemed to cause everything to come to a standstill.
Jongho dropped the gun as the ringing continued to blur any other noise passing through his ears. He swallowed the hard lump that formed in his throat moments before, letting the subtle uneasiness settle into his bones. His eyes remained fixated on your now lifeless body while a crimson red stained the pristine tiles beneath your form. Just a counterpart, he thought to calm his beating heart. Just a counterpart... like everyone else here. What a lie.
Jongho rummaged around in his pocket before he pulled out a small communication device. Hesitantly, he placed the machine close, pressing the small button on the side and pausing for a few seconds as his wide-eyed gaze remained glued on to you, waiting for you to play your last trick on him.
“Hyung, Alice isn’t here.”
Blurb Time! One does not stop being a traitor after one deed is done...
“With devious plots comes the potential downfall of oneself. In order to prevent that from ever consuming oneself, one must be ready to become a traitor.”
Or, at least, that’s what Wooyoung has lived by since the day he accepted a deal with the devil themselves.
He was one of your many shadows baring the negative emotions you sought to drown in infinite nightmares, broken promises, and meaningless optimism. He was, at times, a looming cloud that hovered just above you, accumulating your deepest thoughts and entangling everyone in a typhoon of carefully calculated mayhem. He was a shadow, glued to the heels of your feet, at times, traveling far from you, but also trailing mere centimeters behind you. Wariness served as his only defense, however.
For he knew that your mind was never at ease.
The look of terror streaked across your face as you held the gun towards his dear friend’s head was forever engrained within his own mind. Perhaps, he could have felt sympathetic for a split second as he watched the horror in Yeosang’s face as he watched his only escape die in front of him. It was for the best, he had told the broken marionette doll afterwards. He knew too much and had to pay the devil’s price.
Everyone has to at some point.
“This needed to happen, Yeosang,” he muttered as he watched the bleach blonde fiddle with the plastic plants within the terrarium. “They’ll let us all out soon. Just wait a little longer.”
“That’s not what I’m worried about though.”
Wooyoung arched an eyebrow as he carefully observed Yeosang’s fingers weaving the flowers together.
“Apathy,” Yeosang began. “It’s what holds this entire group together. We’re built from the broken dreams and promises of everyone we have ever encountered. Robbed of youth, pushed off the cliff, anything that your mind considers trauma is fair game. And this place [Name] built after their failed self-experimentation? Amplifies it along with whatever role they want to play.”
Wooyoung frowned before jumped back up to his feet. “Yeosang, I don’t have time for this. What are you trying to get at?”
“It’s too obvious! Our counterparts are not just counterparts—They’re the original blueprint. We’re clones abandoned to suffer for eternity. But now that they have a change of heart, they’re trying to make amends. Why else would [Name] go through all of this and use you specifically as her pawn?”
Wooyoung walked close to the terrarium and slammed a closed fist against the glass as he matched the intensity of Yeosang’s deathly stare with his own glare.
“I’m just trying to keep everyone safe, Yeosang. There was just one mistake and [Name] just so happened to—”
“Listen to me, you coward!” Yeosang snapped, “Your wings are already gone, just like mine. The devil played you.”
Wooyoung’s jaw clenched as he wordlessly let his hand fall back to his side.
As much as he hated to admit it, Wooyoung knew Yeosang was right. He always was.
So, he wasn’t surprised when he took his last flight and ended up in an infinite amount of chains that bounded him to a never-ending saga of regret.
Do you have any kpop blogs to recommend checking out? (Any kpop group is fine) Thank you! And love your work 🖤🖤
Multi Stan:
@kpopboystoogether @forehead-enthusiast @drumboydowoon @butterflybam @multistan-net @moongaera @cherryscenarios @wonglix @timextoxhajima @yunwoo @lettersfromaphrodite @angelinanamoo @letsnotdoanything @oh-my-vocal-unit @latte-fairytaekwoon @fantastic-bby @vernonvsblog @ncitythoughts
The Boyz:
@chaoticdeobi @juyeonzz @aveluant1a @deobidrabbles @tbzwurld @minfuwa @jyeonvoir @atbzkingdom
Ateez:
@yeocinth @rosy-wooyoung @seongghwaa @atinywrites @atiny-dazzlinglight @sparklyhyunjinnie @barsformars @yeo-baby @yeochikin @a-tiny-8iny @tinymingi
TXT:
@csbinnie
NCT:
@the32ndbeat
SF9:
@lost-inthedream
~~
Please feel free to recommend more blogs! As you can see, I need more blogs to follow too! 💕
aaaaa thank you 🥺!! ill recommend some (writing) blogs too <3
Multi:
@keeper-of-the-uwus @kpophours @mooneylooney1 @theredcarat @hereisleo @by-moonflower @waterfallsandrosebuds @sidereal-fantasies @toffee-hwa @wordstro @whyhoneywrites @deobienthusiast
Ateez:
@aasthrielle @cosmixity @closer-stars @sanchelins @moonchildsaurora @yeocult @yunhoway @thelargefrye @hwanami @jungyunhoed
I— Thank you thank you 😭💕💕💕
Blurb Time! Scary how one lost soul can clearly see into another one. After all, it seemed that you both enjoyed the ambiguous isolation that clouded your thoughts.
Song Mingi was many things.
He was an intimidating shadow of death that engulfed everything in his path in the flames of torment and isolation. He was a lingering soul, lost like many others and searching for a purpose to continue in this half-alive state that he was left in with no choice. He was an arsonist; burning everything in sight and wanting nothing more than to watch the earth wither away into the ashes of what he would never be able to grasp.
Song Mingi was not his counterpart. For his counterpart will never know the feeling of finding himself in the abyss of nothingness known as his own mind.
“It’s four in the morning, [Name]. Why are you already up?” Mingi’s voice echoed as he entered the dim-litted room known as your homely office.
“I should be asking you the same thing,” you countered as you pulled your gaze away from the glaring screen of your laptop.
Mingi simply hummed before he pulled an extra seat over and sat across from you. “Anyways, how are—“
“Wooyoung’s not coming back,” you interrupted with a flat tone. “On top of that, you seem to be getting better at faking some concern.”
Mingi pressed his lips together before he relaxed in his chair with a shrug of his shoulders. Just as expected from the almighty [Name], he would have muttered under his breath. Perfectly aware of every situation. Yet never willing to acknowledge the holes in your defense.
“You caught me on one part, but I’m still going to ask,” Mingi said slowly. “How are you after your little nightmare?”
Your fingers come to a sudden halt, breath getting caught in your throat, forming a large lump that made it all the more difficult to even utter a rebuttal. Beads of sweat formed at your hairline, suddenly reminding you how clammy your hands felt as you flexed and unflexed the stiffness between your joints. Shit, you mentally cursed.
“Well?” Mingi questioned as the corner of his lips curved upwards.
“You caught me,” you mused as you arched one eyebrow in surprise. You closed your laptop with a soft sigh before you shifted slightly in your own seat. “My little nightmares are becoming a little more... vivid, to say the least. Probably all that guilt and doubt again, but it did raise a few questions.”
Must have been interesting then, Mingi would have added. Challenging your authority was what Mingi would call his only entertainment. Seeing the flustered state and witnessing all the tiny gears turning in your scrambled mind seemed to always bring some sort of amusement to the tall male. By testing that invisible throne you created for yourself, Mingi was able to forget for a moment that he was just a mere counterpart. Nothing more than something that wasted within the lonely shadows of nightmares. However, with impish defiance comes the intricate mind games that you seem so keen on playing with each and every lost soul.
So, it was no surprise to Mingi that his gratification remained to be short-lived.
“You and I are similar in a way when it comes to our counterparts choosing to abandon their negative feelings for a life with no paths towards the pit of isolation,” you started. “But, with the recent turn of events, there’s something I wanted to ask you just out of curiosity.”
Mingi leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as the warm simper gradually fell from his lips. You had also shifted once more, resting your own elbows on the edge of your desk as you placed your clasped hands just in front of the lower part of your face.
“If there ever comes a time where either I or my counterpart must face all the sins I have created, will there ever be a chance to redeem myself?”
Silence ensued for a few moments before Mingi pulled his gaze away. Deep chuckles vibrated his chest as he shook his head in response.
“Redeem yourself? Depends on whether or not you’ll ever wake up and see the nightmare you created for your own entertainment, [Name].”
Minor Interruption: First things first, I’ll be doing a little something different w/ updates since I currently have a part-time job and am gearing up to move on to campus soon, but it won’t be won’t be too different from before (just a little less sporadic). So, hopefully I can get into that routine really soon.
On to the next thing, I’m approaching a small milestone soon and realized I never really done anything for you guys yet. Here’s the issue; I’m not sure what I’ll be able to do since due to timing and everything. But, here’s a few ideas as to what may happen soon.
Since I pre-ordered my first ever album, I could do a small unboxing video in hopes of spreading a little positivity.
Or I could do a little voice over where I gather some questions from all of you and answer them.
Again, I’m not sure what may happen, but I really want to do something for all of you since it feels like I always just drift around here and never truly interact with all of you. So, if time permits, I hope I can get something up for you in hopes of breaking a few invisible boundaries.
Sincerely, Not You
[Choi San]
Love Letter #3
—“Regrets do not subside as easily as you think it may. Choosing to forget never works in your favor.”
Dear [Redacted],
It’s quite comical, isn’t it? To see an old face that once occupied many memories before it suddenly disintegrated.
The unfamiliar flutter in your heart is not the warm, ticklish feeling that happy nostalgia brings joy to you; it’s guilt, isn’t it? The guilt that snuck its way into the deepest corners of your conscious, attacking and slowly devouring the once white essence that you prided yourself over for years. It’s awful, isn’t it?
Much like how they avoid your gaze now.
Because they harbor the same guilt yet for a different reason born from something that’s similar to your own doubt. They bottle it, hoping that it’ll eventually subside like an ugly storm, but here they are, avoiding you with all the effort they could muster up in their body.
Your memory seems to be failing you, dear friend. They obviously remember it, but how will you?
But of course, you can’t make the same mistakes again, my friend. Repeating is most likely what got you to this point. Yet, I still believe you deserve a second chance to right your wrongs, even if time travel is impossible.
Sincerely,
A friend who sees all
Do you write for Ateez?
hello dear anon!
no, I currently don’t write for Ateez - you can actually find a list of the groups I write for here ☺️
make sure to check out my talented Ateez writer friends though: @kesmonsterwrites @barsformars @daybreakx @oh-my-vocal-unit @lilyunhowrites @mooneylooney1 💞
AAAA thank you anna 💕
also check out my ateez writers moots 💖 @closer-stars @hereisleo @moonchildsaurora @cosmixity @thelargefrye @jungyunhoed @theredcarat @yunhoway @rosy-wooyoung @sidereal-fantasies (& i know there's more but my brain's pretty fried now im sorry huhu)
awww thanks, rin~
a couple of my mutuals and writers i follow and look up to 💙
@sidereal-fantasies @lovely-sanie @atinytokki @atinybrew @chasingatinydream
happy reading~
💕💕 Much love to both of you and everyone else!
Here’s a few more to check out as well
@lilhwahwa @yeppeojiwrites @cosmixity @seongghwaa @darklightcaptainjoong @thelargefrye @atinywriting
hana, i’m about to smack that anon. i’m sorry you have to handle such unsavoury invalidation and disrespect all after your thoroughly written thoughts 😞
It just goes to show how some people truly think and respond to certain topics and other’s feelings.
bruh you’re mixed so you really can’t say much at all, but you did anyways
I have nothing to say other than you just proved a point I expressed in my explanation earlier true.
I know you often don’t voice your opinions and use your blog as an escape for all of us (which is really nice), but I just wanna know your opinion on the whole situation? If u’re comfortable of course!!
And I do intend to keep my blog as a “chill checkpoint,” or at least a safe place for everyone, which means expressing opinions on topics like cultural appropriation. Often times, I don’t voice my opinions simply because I don’t believe I express them in the best way possible or that I feel like I might be overstepping somewhere in some way possible. It takes a little bit for me to formulate what I want to say a lot of the times. However, it’s also more or less of a fear that still lingers around way too often.
As a preface, I am mixed (Black, White, and Japanese) and I have experienced on multiple occasions of people invalidating my feelings towards things that I have found offensive or insensitive one way or another, be it through jokingly telling me that I can only be “partly offended” since I’m not completely this to straight up being told I can’t count since I am not enough of such. From those experiences, I still have this fear of someone legitimately invalidating my feelings combined with what I’ve said earlier, so this situation did make me feel very uncomfortable on multiple levels.
For “the situation” that has went down, in other words, Hongjoong’s hairstyle and KQ’s apology, it is best to respect those that have felt offended or found fault in it. As far as we can tell, it was an ignorant mistake on everyone’s part (company, stylist, and idol). There is nothing wrong with educating your idol on a matter that could be taken in the wrong way even when intentions were not out of malice. In fact, I was a little impressed that the fandom jumped and held everyone accountable. However, as a fandom, we must also be held accountable and respect those and speak with, not over, and definitely not at those that felt offended, as it is not our place for some of us to be voicing how we feel about this. Keep in mind as well when you state “as a non___ stan” that it can also look a little off or rub people in the wrong way if you’re not careful with where you’re directing that message to. Remember, your actions should be reflecting the attitude you want others to have when an action similar to this affects you as well. You’re doing things because you truly believe in educating people on their wrongs and spreading mutual respect around with everyone. It is not to get a pat on the back because you called out something.
Actions speak louder than words. While KQ can’t do much for things that have already been set, we still have to make sure they hold up on their end and see that they don’t repeat the hairstyle for future stages (especially since it seems that this particular stylist has done it before according to some). And for those that feel they are not doing any wrong with invalidating those that were affected by this, keep in mind that your actions showed how little respect you hold for others.
