A professor at my school thought “bust a nut” meant to get angry
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@sidewalkavengers
A professor at my school thought “bust a nut” meant to get angry
BONUS:
good god when's the last time anyone looked at this blog
OH WELL TIME TO PEDDLE MY OWN SHIT TO YOU PEOPLE
up now at my shit-ass writing blog is a NEW ULTIMATE SIDEWALK AVENGERS STORY, the beginning of a multi-part EPIC that MAY OR MAY NOT BE BASED ON SELECT EVENTS FROM THE MARVEL COMICS EVENT "CIVIL WAR"
PLEASE NOTE THE "MAY NOT" THAT IS VERY IMPORTANT
anyway that is available HERE for the whole world (or rather the five people that aren't sidewalk avengers that are somehow still following this bullshit blog) to see
ok bye
whatever happened to that good ol’ fashioned american boyyyy
he got a mohawk that’s what.
guys look
I had the sudden urge to write an iron joel/black drifblim sorta thing
it’s 12:13 am please forgive any mistakes
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when the chuck chucks out, he rips off his giant sweater and one of those awful hulk-abs shirts is underneath
id oNT KNOW WHY IM DOING THIS IM SORRY
hey kids
bet you didn't know this blog still existed right
(me neither)
anyway have you been waiting for new sidewalk avengers stories to come out?
i know i haven't
but regardless, they exist
somewhere
but keep in mind this is an alternate universe, with no connections to the stories you know and love on this blog
(i'm pretty sure most of you don't know any of these stories and the ones that do sure as hell don't love them)
and also any future Ultimate Sidewalk Avengers stories will be on that blog, not here
because we wouldn't want you to get the wrong idea, see
ok bye
headcanon: luke fury and agent nonnie get frequent nightmares when it’s warm out. when that happens the one crawls in bed with the other— assuming they’re not already there
-Luke Fury
Not my best work BUT AT LEAST IT’S FLUFFY. Happy belated birthday, babe.
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Nonnie's super-belated birthday fic
“So she doesn’t actually know this is going on yet, right?” Luke questioned, checking the timer once more to make sure this cake wasn’t going to be a minute over being done.
“Not the last time I checked,” the Black Drifblim replied, checking through the blinds into the front yard just in case.
“No, because we’re all so good at keeping secrets,” Iron Joel responded shrugging, as he continued to toss blueberries directly upward, accidently swallowing one whole and making such an expression that sent Major into a giggle fit.
Suddenly there was a knock on the door.
“Everyone hide!” Chuck shouted while the rest of the Sidewalk Avengers went to find where they would nestle to pull their trick.
Iron Joel picked out the best spot which was behind a bookcase, and proceeded to be kicked out of it by Basket.
Kor had gotten herself stuck underneath a desk.
Chuck stood behind a plant, thinking that the green leaves and purple potted plant was an appropriate enough hiding spot.
The Black Drifblim helped Iron Joel hid behind the couch because bickering about hiding spots are for children.
Stan Lou hung up her prestigious robe on a hanger and was hiding behind it as sneakily as possible.
Spider-Meekins climbed up a column and now was hiding around the ceiling.
Captain Major GLORYz sat in the pet bed, imitating a dog as well as he could (and in reality it was quite impressive of a silhouette).
While Luke Fury watched her team cavort around in a flurry and waited until everyone had settled before shaking her head slowly. Agent Nonnie knocked on the door now very loudly, and Luke Fury rushed forward and opened it, smiling happily at her friend. Ignoring Sloki a couple feet behind her as silent as a fox
“Come on in!” She ushered smiling her friend and most trusted colleague into the dark room.
Nonnie looked around slightly, wondering if they were trying to save on the electric bill before the light was flicked on, and the entire Sidewalk Avenger team jumped out and shouted an excited surprise! Except Kor, who while shouting surprise was still trying to wiggle herself out of the desk. Nonnie jumping out of her skin backwards to Sloki grabbing her shoulders and also shouting surprise.
“Aw guys!” Nonnie squealed excitedly, running over and squeezing every Sidewalk Avenger member she could, until something else stopped her in her tracks, “Do you guys smoke?”
“OH MY GOD THE CAKE,” Luke Fury shouted, as everyone ran into the smoky kitchen to look at the vanilla cake, which now looked a lot more like chocolate…
“Uh…Happy birthday Nonnie?” Basket greeted, sticking a candle in the can of frosting and handing it to their dear friend.
And as the party was starting, a very happy birthday it would be.
kor was just trying to tell a story but the giggles got way too out of hand
this ended in a dog pile with lots of scraped knees and elbows
YO AIGHT what up my homes it's your lord and savior basket speakin all up in here so just sit tight im gonna lay this shit down 4 ya
it's nearly december ya'll know what that means it means IT MEANS it means not buying stuff for everyone thats right what up fuck that shit i know its the season of giving but we dont need 2 be stressing all up in this over what to get all our friends i mean if we wanted to do this properly we would each need to send out like 10 gifts in order to cover everyone in the group like hello no, one we already gotta buy shit for our fams and two yo shippin shit gets pricey nobody needs that
so here's the deal we been tossing this back and forth for the past couple of months and here's how this is gonna go
its time for the fist annual(???? up 2 interpretation) SA Secret Santa wOOOAH WHATS THAT ANJ you heard me motherfuckers ya'll get to be chris fuckin kringle this december put on your fake beards and red coats cause shit's gettin jolly in here
OKAY rules and conditions, u need those, so here's how its gonna work
1) there's 11 of us now but we're only doing this if 6 or more decide to participate. if you can't do it that's totally fine, just lemme know
2) if you're in tell me you're in so i can keep a running tally and then tell nonnie your name and address (she'll be pairing people up, seeing as how she cant participate, being anonymous and all. at least she said she would?? idk if she doesnt want 2 ill just do it myself i guess)
3) wow most important rule aight dON'T break the bank on this ok this is just something fun and silly for us to do as a team you don't even have to buy anything, it can be a drawing or a fic or something you can make or whatever its TOTALLY cool whatever you decide to do
4) if there's someone you don't want to be paired up with because you wouldn't know what to get/do for them OR you're already doing your own exchange on the side, just let me or nonnie (i guess?) know.
5) try to keep your recipient a secret!!!! thats the point of all this after all uvu
6) i'd try to set a date but man that would be really ironic i'm the person that maintained i wasn't late to fic night one night because it hadn't hit midnight in hawaii yet. just try to have it in by the end of the year i guess?
7) HAVE FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! don't stress over this yo!! its just a fun little team activity, to celebrate our first holiday season together. aint nothin 2 fret for.
meekins’s godtier was giving me issues so i sKIPPED AHEAD
also it dawned on me like halfway through that time items are based off the player’s planet so i had to quick come up with a platform for metronomes but all i could think about was chandeliers so i was like fUCK IT LAND OF TEMPO AND CHANDELIERS
and there u go
“Hot pockets? Really? We ask you to make dinner, and you make hot pockets.” Luke groaned, poking at a questionable looking hot pocket with a fork. What kind was it? We just don’t know yet.
“Oh stop, I had to improvise.” Joel picked up the boxes from the counter, appropriately labeled with “great new pizza taste!”. Great? Probably not. But, he did make dinner, just like they all asked.
Seb took a cautious bite of his, chewing slowly and contemplating the taste. “Eh.” he said, with a shrug. Charlie silently agreed, but continued eating his.
Nonnie thought to Joel’s own personal hot pocket incident. Could this be the same way? “I’m not hungry, I guess.” The look on Nonnie’s face made Meekins turn away his pocket as well. “I think I’ll have cereal.”
“Joel, why didn’t you just buy pizza?” Murphy piped up. “I mean, c’mon. At least it’s better than /this/.”
“Quiet, kid.” He sat down at his spot at the table, greeted by a disgusted look on both Anj and Kim’s faces. ”It’s still cold in the middle!” They said, almost in tandem. Like the creepy twins from the Shining. Kim got up and put theirs back in the microwave, much to Anj’s chagrin. “I might as well get something else”, she muttered.
Lou gave Joel a pat on the back. “It’s alright. Mine was perfect! Thanks!”
Murphy got up from the table, smacking Joel lightly on the back of the head. “Yeah. I guess it was okay. But if I get a tapeworm, I’m leaving it on your pillow.” Joel retorted with “love you too” and handed her his plate to take while she was up.
The rest ate in silence; the occasional fake gag being heard from Seb followed by a glare from Joel with everyone else acting as a sort of laugh track. Soon enough, the table was clear, and everyone was in their respective rooms.
Maybe 20 minutes later, a horrible yell from Nonnie echoed through the house. “JOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLL!”
Murphy and Luke were first on the scene, looking at what Nonnie had yelled about and getting equally as upset. Joel sauntered into the kitchen with Kim and Charlie behind him. Meekins and the others filtered in soon after.
“What’d I do now?” Joel asked, seeming genuinely puzzled.
Nonnie, as calmly as she could, held up one of the empty Hot Pocket boxes and pointed to the expiration date. “Read that out loud.”
“…January 7th, 20…10.”
Mutual groans filled the room. Joel stared at the box, then his eyes flashed to his own (now upset) stomach. Murphy glared at him, mouthing the words “tape worm” before following everyone out of the kitchen.
The next few days were spent quietly, with Meekins and Nonnie (the only ones to not eat) taking care of everyone else. Joel, however, was left to fend for himself, seeing as he was the culprit.
Hot Pockets were never allowed in the house again.
kims aspect literally changed like a million times before i was able to find one that wasnt already canon and also fit her
aND WE’RE DONE FOR THE NIGHT
princes are known for destroying their aspects so joel is the prince of life because he rUINED MY LIFE
joel told me to draw the sa as godtiers
in other news i hate myself
#what kind of bond wears a tearaway suit
gonna punch you right out kid
just sayin man like cmon
obv not a real bond
at least his hair is right this time
say that 2 my face and not on the internet motherfucker