This is a very shallow analysis BUT most of my followers are Batman fans and not Green Arrow fans so it's still worth pointing it out:
YOU ARE WRONG ABOUT OLIVER QUEEN.
Oliver is NOT ABUSIVE !! Here's why!
We as a fandom talk a lot about core beliefs of the characters (because DC writers can't do their job right) but here's the thing about Oliver: changing constantly is his core trait. Oliver isn't like Superman, who is inherently a good person since the beginning of forever. He's not like Batman, who figured out how to turn his pain into something that can help people. Green Arrow's story is about evolving as a person. It's about learning from your mistakes and doing better.
Oliver starts his story as a complete douche. Seriously. Just read Green Arrow: Year One and you'll get what I mean. He doesn't care about people, or politics, or even his own life, really. But being stuck in that island changes him to his core. He feels first hand what happens when you don't have people around to give a shit about you. He understands the need for community only after he loses his'. He understands the need for growth and kindness with time. And he keeps re-learning it.
In Snowbirds Don't Fly, which is essentially the only thing that makes non-GA fans think Oliver is abusive, there's three main horrible things Ollie does: He leaves Roy alone for months to travel with Hal, he slaps Roy, and he kicks Roy out. Those are, obviously, bad.
But here's the thing: Oliver learns. After Roy gets sober, especially after Lian comes around, Oliver earns Roy's forgiveness by being better. He starts vocalizing his lofe for Roy, he makes an effort to be involved in Roy's life. He's supportive and helpful when Roy needs him. Oliver learns to be there for Roy. He regrets kicking Roy out and hitting him, and is very explicitly grateful that Roy is a stronger man than he is, that he was able to pull himself together without Ollie.
Most Batman fans (and I myself am guilty of this) expect characters to never change, ever, because we're used to the Batman mythos, which can only exist if Bruce stays the same forever. But that’s not Ollie, and it will never be, because Ollie needs to grow in order to be written well. If he stays stuck in his ways and doesn't learn from being called the fuck out (even if he gets offended) then that's just not a well-written Oliver Queen.
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