Yo! I'm Sienna, just a 27yo Finnish girlie (＾∇＾)ﾉ♪ Everything here is pretty chill and completely sfw, but just know that this is where I'm at my most autistic ヘ(￣ω￣ヘ) My tags: SDB art, SDB rambles, SDB fics & SDB commissions!
I will draw ships but only those I have drawn before so check my blog for the ship tags before asking! I try to tag well so they should come up if I have drawn them :> Or my art tag, SDB art!
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Also, to conveniently have access to it, here's a link to a different blog of mine where I make full length rants about things :)
This is where I rant about my special interests so I can try to function like a normal person everywhere else (~‾▿‾)~
Very self indulgent because work is killing my autistic self in ways I'm still learning to deal with. But yeh!
Hawks x Reader: Not Alone
A short little thing in which reader is having a bad day and bf birdie arrives to help her through it <3
It wasn't a big thing. Just the piling of a million little things until one was too many.
Well, whatever it was, it had her crumbled on her couch, hugging her plushie to simulate comfort, watching a comfort show, snuggled under a comfortable, fluffy blanket, stuffing her face with comfort food.
But it wasn't enough. Being alone during these moments was normal, but it was just silent suffering until she managed to piece herself back together to appear like a functional member of society again.
It'd been like this for years. So many years of dealing with it solo that she didn't even realize she could ask her partner for his help at first. She didn't have the energy for phone notifications, let alone contacting someone. All she managed was a simple hug emoji.
When she heard the telltale knock on her balcony door, she first jumped in surprise, then slowly sat up, trying to gather herself at least a little bit.
Hawks watched as she approached, wiping her eyes on her sleeves. Their meetings usually started with playful energy, but these times required gentleness, he'd learned.
“Hey, dove. I'm here.”
He closed the door behind himself gently, and brushed some hair from her forehead.
“Let's get you comfy again, yeah?”
She nodded, and followed him back to the couch. Her favourite corner had molded around her, and she easily slotted back into it.
“I'll get you some cold water?” he hummed, helping tuck her under the blanket. Once he earned another nod, he disappeared into the kitchen.
Not much later he reappeared, holding a water bottle with a straw. He sat down next to her, and held the straw to her lips.
“Thanks…” she murmured, letting him help her drink. She'd cried a lot already, and she probably would be crying more, after all.
He watched her, hand supportive on her knee, no judgement found in his gaze. Not about her old pajamas or greasy hair, not about all the snack wrappers on the coffee table, not about her puffy, tired eyes.
Once she was done, she placed the bottle down, and turned to look at his hand, seemingly gathering her courage. Finally, she glanced at his eyes, then buried her face in his shoulder, hand reaching to hold his.
“Oh. There we go”, he smiled, turning slightly for a more comfortable angle. He lifted his other hand to cup the back of her head, petting her unwashed hair with gentleness and affection one wouldn't expect from the number two hero. “I've got you.”
It's no surprise her eyes watered again. Just having her forehead against a person instead of a pillow or plushie made her feel incredibly safe. She snuggled closer, hiccuping quietly.
Hawks didn't say anything, just leaned to kiss the top of her head. He stayed there, eyes closed, listening to her, hurting for her pain but also glad that he could be there for her, that she trusted him this much.
“....Want me to hold you fully?” he asked gently, knowing that surprises could make it worse. He was glad to earn another nod, and gathered her into his arms, letting her forehead rest against his collarbone.
The moment he wrapped his arms around her, she broke, fully weeping into his shirt, her hands clutching the fabric. He held her through it, not too tight, not too loose, and didn't complain in the slightest, instead running his hand along her back comfortingly, placing featherlight kisses between murmured words into her hair.
“You've been so strong for so long. But you're allowed to not be strong sometimes. I'm proud of you no matter what.”
He wrapped his wings around them both, enclosing her in warmth, blocking what little light she had on in the room.
“Getting tired isn't a weakness. You're still human. And you're doing your best. More than your best, even.”
He lifted her face so he could meet her eyes, wiping a tear as he cupped her cheek.
“So you'd better not be cursing yourself out inside your head again”, he exhaled in a soft, sad laugh. “You wouldn't say them to anyone else. And I definitely wouldn't say them to you.”
He pressed his forehead to hers.
“We can cuddle and watch something chill. Whatever helps you recharge and feel better. Okay, dove?”
She would've nodded, but hummed softly instead.
“Thanks. Love you, Kei.”
He parted just enough to kiss her forehead.
“Love you too, y/n. Now let me take care of you”, he chuckled, brought her screensharing device closer with his feathers, and pressed play on her comfort show again, letting her melt into him to lazily watch the show.
Unsurprisingly, she eventually dozed off, feeling much calmer and safer in the arms of her favourite person.
Hawks just smiled affectionately, feeling lucky to be her anchor in the storm.
“I've got you. Sleep well, love dove", he breathed, kissing her hair again, closing his own eyes as well.
Idk if I can do it myself, maybe I actually could, idk. But here's a prompt, a wish for a short Hawks blurb.
Just....holding someone. Someone who's so dang tired, but has no one else to be vulnerable with. Just snuggling closer and closer so he can keep all the pieces from falling further apart, maybe nuzzling into their (her, it's me) hair, petting it, wiping the tears, murmuring sweet, proud things.
Here's a silly something I've been thinking of but haven't seen others mention lol
But
I adore Hawks' face shape? Chin, jaw, nose, whatever? It's just so.... Shaped.
See for yourself:
Extra points for his silly open mouth stuff:
Ugh I love this man
Also notice how almost all of these are from the manga? He's obviously super good looking animated as well, duh, but the manga has this...... something. That I love.
Sienna's Hawks hours hitting again? Coping via blorbo? :)
I would like to know how Hawks would handle a (preferably female) reader who has a Crow quirk and are just basically a glorified hoarder who has the gut urge to give him something shiny and gifts him candy wrappers or buttons (generally just stuff they find lying around that they see as pretty) and he just doesn’t know what to do with it yk?? I’d love your thoughts ❤️❤️
-🐦⬛✨
HAAAAAAAAAWKSSSSSS YESYESYESYESSS
this is so oddly specific and it fits hawks perfectly because he’s used to people giving him expensive things, sponsorship gifts and fan letters and then his girlfriend proudly hands him sth like a bottle cap haha
hawks (keigo takami):
𓂃⋆.˚ the very first gift you ever give him is a completely ordinary button you found on the sidewalk. to anyone else, it’s just a button. to you, though, it’s the prettiest shade of deep emerald green you’ve ever seen, and the sunlight made it sparkle when you walked past it. you proudly place it in his hand with the biggest smile, almost bouncing on your feet while waiting for his reaction. keigo stares at the button… then at you… then back at the button. for a split second he genuinely thinks he’s missing some kind of inside joke or viral meme that has been trending behind his back.
“you found this?”
you nod enthusiastically. “it’s shinyyy.”
“…it is shiny.”
“i thought you’d like it.”
his heart melts on the spot.
𓂃⋆.˚ after that, the gifts never stop. one day it’s an unusually smooth pebble. the next it’s a candy wrapper that’s holographic enough to catch the light in rainbow colors. then it’s a little brass key that probably doesn’t open anything anymore. every single object is presented with complete sincerity, as if you’ve discovered buried treasure.
𓂃⋆.˚ at first, he has absolutely no idea what he’s supposed to do with any of it. he can’t exactly wear a bottle cap or frame an old marble. but throwing them away feels… wrong. because every single time you hand him one, you’re looking at him like you’ve just found the most beautiful thing in the world and decided he deserved to have it.
𓂃⋆.˚ so he starts keeping them. every single one. eventually his apartment has a small wooden box tucked away on one of the shelves. if someone opened it expecting jewelry or important documents, they’d instead find feathers you’d dropped during molting season, colorful buttons, bits of sea glass, shiny coins from countries neither of you had visited, a tiny bell that doesn’t ring anymore and approximately seventeen candy wrappers. nobody is allowed to touch the box.
𓂃⋆.˚ one afternoon you’re walking together after patrol when you suddenly stop mid-sentence.
“hold on.” before he can ask why, you’ve already wandered toward the edge of the sidewalk. he watches you crouch down, pick something up and wipe it carefully against your sleeve.
you then jog back over with the brightest smile imaginable. “look!”
it’s a washer, that little flat metal ring used in furniture assembly. “it’s shaped like a tiny donut.”
he laughs so hard he nearly doubles over.
“it is.”
“you can have it.”
he takes it with the same seriousness someone else might accept an engagement ring. “i’ll treasure it.” somehow he actually does.
𓂃⋆.˚ his sidekicks slowly begin noticing strange things around his office.
“hawks, why is there a bottle cap on your desk?”
“gift.”
“…and the marble?”
“also a gift.”
“the feather tied with pink ribbon?”
“that’s a long story.”
he says it with such complete seriousness that nobody questions him anymore.
𓂃⋆.˚ he absolutely starts encouraging it without realizing. whenever he notices something especially reflective while out on patrol, instead of ignoring it, he’ll catch himself thinking, she’d probably love that.
suddenly he’s the one crouching down to pick up unusually pretty stones.
𓂃⋆.˚ after that he starts bringing little shiny things home for you.
“babybird, look what i found this during patrol.”
“keigo.”
“yeah?”
“…that’s literally foil.”
“yeah, but it’s sparkly. look!”
you immediately gasp. “it’s beautiful!!”
𓂃⋆.˚ now you’re both collecting shiny garbage together.
𓂃⋆.˚ one of the sweetest things about him is that he never laughs at you. he’ll laugh because some of the situations are objectively ridiculous, but he never makes you feel childish for seeing beauty in ordinary things. he knows enough about bird quirks to understand that the instinct is real, but more importantly, he loves the fact that every time you find something beautiful, your first thought is always, keigo would like this.
𓂃⋆.˚ sometimes you’ll absentmindedly play with the zipper on his jacket because it’s particularly reflective. other times you’ll steal his sunglasses for five whole minutes because the lenses catch the light in a way that’s endlessly fascinating to you. he’ll pretend to complain the entire time.
𓂃⋆.˚ “babybird.”
“hm?”
“those are prescription.”
“they’re shiny.”
“that’s not an argument.”
“it is to me.”
he sighs dramatically. “i’ve been defeated.”
𓂃⋆.˚ after a few years together, your collection quietly becomes your collection. shelves in your apartment hold jars full of polished stones, old keys, colorful glass and tiny trinkets that would look like junk to anyone else. every now and then, when you’re out together, one of you will spot something sparkling at exactly the same moment.
you’ll both point, then look at each other.
“treasure?”
“treasure!”
𓂃⋆.˚ his favorite part is the way you gently place every little gift into his palm, looking at him with complete certainty that, out of everyone in the world, he’s the person who deserves your brightest treasures.
𓂃⋆.˚ keigo has spent most of his life receiving medals, expensive gifts and praise from strangers, but somehow nothing ever makes him smile quite as much as the tiny purple candy wrapper that’s still folded carefully inside his wallet because one afternoon his sweet little crow looked at it, thought it was beautiful, and immediately decided it belonged to him.
Rant below because Tumblr is my diary that everyone can see idk. Mental health stuff. Dark thoughts before bed.
I'm pathetically addicted to adult content for someone who has 'sfw' proudly displayed on her profile. Don't start doing or watching it guys, especially if you're lonely or stressed. It hooks you. You give it a little, it takes a lot. You'll watch one video? Boom, four releases later, you still say 'eh I can get one more'.
Have tried to stop and cut down so many times. Feel so dirty and pathetic that I just wanna die at this point smh. Rarely even feels good and ruins my sleep schedule even more. All these blocks but I still go around somehow.
It is a moral thing for me, sure, but it's more so psychological. Easy dopamine. Just like chatbots. So I'm going against my values AND feed a legit addiction. Go me.
Where else can I say it? I don't think I'm gonna do anything to myself, but man do I wish I could just stop existing sometimes. A pathetic, ugly, horny loser who's a shell of who she used to be. Peaked in high school for real. Covid ruined me.
What am I doing wrong in life? Why do people around me get in relationships and married and move and live and have fun? How? How?
Is it the autism? Or am I broken? I have no idea what to do. Obviously. I'm ranting on Tumblr. There's still more than a week until my next therapist's appt.
I've tried to get myself together. But work is killing me. Anything added to that is making it worse. I don't have a support person. I don't feel like I belong. I just want to love and be loved but. I don't. Know. How.
Ranting to get the stuff out of my head. There's a lot of emotions going on up there rn.
I'm not super into action stuff, there's gotta be a good hook for me to wanna watch that. Even MHA got kinda boring with the shouting and punching, but this show looked SO GOOD and had me SO HOOKED that I could barely look away
The characters? The art style? The plot?? The expressions, the switches in animation for emotional scenes??? The music, the graffiti??
I haven't seen anything about the og Japanese version - watched the dub cuz of my goat Zeno Robinson - but DANG. Those people had BILLS TO PAY, GEEZ.
Like? Amo??? The way she shouted?? Amo in general was so....wow. Wow.
Also how natural the dialogue and acting is? Jabber, obviously, with his rapping and slang and tweaking? Not into cursing but it just fit here.
Also? So many attractive men in one show? With personalities? And cool, capable women who could hold their own? The permission to have women be angry and look wild, too? Love how Riyo moves with her scissors btw...
Man I am INSPIRED by this show's existence in this era of mindless slop.
Bro stole all my primos, didn't come home until after I'd lost to Dehya and gotten back to soft pity but alas
He's mine now :)
Some screenshots under the cut, forgot what I even took lol
Also some silly voice lines lol
Such a little freak <3
Unfortunately he doesn't do that much damage? Idk, he's still a work in progress but still. I'm so used to dendro reactions that the simpler cryo just doesn't work for me. Oh well, he's pretty and I did need another cryo dps
My current team comp is Lohen, Durin, Citlali and Bennett. Still working on it, but that's managing to one cycle some bosses so. I'd bought Deathmatch for Ineffa, but I gave it to Lohen 🤫
Summary : In which, you find a poisoned meal at your doorstep every morning. And so, you make it your life's motto to savor it and provide your thoughts.
Much to Lohen's dismay, you never seemed particularly impressed by any of his carefully crafted poisons.
While most love stories begin with flowers, yours began with poison.
Most people reacted poorly to poison. They cried, screamed, and maybe even succumbed to death.
You, apparently smiled.
Lohen had first heard the rumor by accident.
"Apparently the new medic (Y/N) has a strange fascination with toxins," a knight muttered over drinks.
He hadn’t meant to care. He really hadn’t. But something about the word 'fascination' lodged itself under his skin like a splinter that refused to be ignored.
So, naturally, he did what any reasonable man with too much curiosity and too little restraint would do—he investigated.
Two alchemists confirmed it later, whispering that you had once voluntarily tasted diluted snake venom just to observe its effects.
That further piqued his curiosity.
And what better way to find out the truth than test the rumor himself?
After a day of locking himself in his house, he had come up with his very own poison. Made from the remains of a dendro slime, mixed with a few crushed petals of Dendrobium, and a generous splash of expired alcohol stolen from the Cat’s Tail.
He didn't know if it was truly toxic. In fact, he just mixed random ingredients he found revolting.
He wasn't planning on truly poisoning you after all. In its current concentration, it would merely cause temporary numbness (maybe).
And so he placed a cute little package in front of your house (he stole the documents that held information of those working under the Grand Master to find your address). Inside the package was a plate of Hash Brown he had cooked himself.
Of course, the poison was sprinkled on top as well.
He knocked on the door to your house and hid in a bush nearby.
He watched the door open, a shiver of excitement going down his spine.
But when you stepped out, his eyes widened. You weren’t what he had imagined. Not old, not bitter, not hunched over with tired eyes and stained robes.
You looked... young and composed. Normal in fact.
You glanced at the package, shrugged, and brought it inside.
The next day, he had half hoped there would be some commotion. Instead, nothing happened.
Lohen found that significantly more unsettling than if you had screamed.
Did you not open it?
Did you die?
Worse, did you throw it away?
By the second day, irritation curdled into curiosity again, and curiosity dragged him back to your house.
He hadn’t even reached the door when something stopped him.
A box.
His box.
He stared at it, then at the note pinned neatly on top.
It read-
---
Observation Log
Possible dendro slime derivative.
Taste profile:
Slight bitterness.
Floral aftertaste.
Perhaps traces of alcohol.
Symptoms:
Tingling lips.
Mild numbness in fingers.
Onset approximately twenty-five seconds.
Conclusion:
Sloppily made poison.
---
He stared at the handwriting. The faint smell of alcohol lingering on the hastily ripped paper.
'..... Sloppy?' he scoffed, annoyance creeping up into his face. He crumbled the paper, staring at the door with a sadistic smile.
"Fine then. I'll show you real poison."
The next morning, another box appeared at your doorstep.
Like last time, you took it into your home. You had no idea who was delivering these, but the last package being drenched in a mild toxin made it interesting enough for you to open.
You tore open the box.
This time, it was a plate of mushroom pizza.
"Oh, that looks delicious." you muttered to yourself, noticing the unusual purple coloring on the crust.
You reached and held a piece of the pizza near your mouth. And without a care, you took a huge bite from the area where the coloring was the brightest.
The following day, Lohen returned to find another note on your doorstep. This time it was more detailed than the last.
---
Observation Log
Low concentration of Aconitum.
Taste profile:
Initial sweet-bitter note.
Followed by burning sensation.
Symptoms:
Numbness.
Dizziness.
Loss of strength.
Conclusion:
Good posion. Easily countered.
Although, I liked the taste of the pizza.
(attached are my other observations)
---
There were six pages attached.
Six.
Lohen stared, flipping through the pages with a smile. "God. She's insane."
This started the exchange of poisons and paper notes.
The next package that Lohen put on your doorstep had a small note of his own.
---
To the Medic
Firstly, fuck you.
Secondly, you missed a secondary ingredient. (Hint : It was Naku weed)
Thirdly, thank you for complimenting the pizza.
I made it myself.
---
Your response appeared the next morning.
---
To the Poisoner
1. Rude.
2. I did not miss the ingredient. Naku weed has no toxic properties. Just color.
3. The posion on the crust was obvious. Are you perhaps new to this poisoning thing?
---
Your responses pissed the Vice captain even more. Because how dare a lowly medic like you have the audacity to critic his cooking?!
He tried even harder after that.
More precise blends. Better masking. Controlled dosages. Carefully calibrated ingredients. Tried perfecting the recipe so you couldn't find any faults.
Everything.
After making sure everything was perfect, he delivered the next package. A plate of Northern Apple Stew.
The reply next day was written in a crumbled paper with messy handwriting.
---
Rules for Future Poisoning
1. No explosive diarrhea.
2. No permanent injury.
3. No organ damage.
4. No blindness.
5. No poisoning children.
6. Food should remain edible
---
Lohen rolled his eyes at the rules. "Killjoy." To him these rules just were unnecessary boundaries that ruined his fun.
But he never wanted to stop this exchange between the two of you. It was much too entertaining for him.
Unknown to him, that night ended with you locking yourself in your room. Having non stop diarrhea for hours.
Soon the notes became longer than the poisons themselves.
One morning, the package you opened had a plate of Cream Stew.
And this time the note attached had a list of ingredients used.
---
Current Theory
The toxin should produce localized muscle weakness.
Estimated duration:
Two hours.
Possible side effects:
Dizziness.
Drowsiness.
Complaining.
Will you be able to guess what I used (Y/N)? °^°?
---
Three days later Lohen received something he could only call a report.
A dossier.
Twenty-two pages which included diagrams, charts, annotated symptom timelines.
And corrections.
So many corrections.
---
Page 14: dosage error.
Page 17: please stop using kitchen spoons as lab tools.
Page 19: “Did you eyeball the concentration?”
---
Unfortunately Lohen had. And he hated that you noticed.
Months passed and somehow it became a routine.
Your medic colleagues grew increasingly worried seeing you drowsy every other day.
"Do you know who keeps sending you poison?" one asked.
You shook your head. "No, not really."
"Shouldn't that concern you?"
You looked confused. "Why?"
"Because they're poisoning you...?"
You blinked. Honestly, if the person wanted to kill you, they could have used other deadly toxins. Yet, they always made sure to use small doses and non lethal ingredients.
You smiled to yourself. "They are very considerate actually."
"... Oh." the medic froze.
You tapped a finger on your cheek. "They also have lovely handwriting."
"..."
The medic walked away. Unable to continue the conversation.
Lohen, meanwhile, was also not doing well.
Varka had his suspicions when he first saw the crazed man laughing while tasting the exotic plants he had ordered.
One day, while Lohen was away on a mission, he broke the lock of his drawer and read through all the papers in there.
Papers about toxic plants. Possible ingredients. And of course, all the notes you had written to him.
He ran a hand through his hair. "What the hell is happening in Mondstadt?"
Varka immediately dragged Lohen by the collar and pushed him into the store you worked in to apologize.
You looked up from your desk and instantly recognized him as your mysterious poisoner.
Not by his face. But by his hands.
The stained fingertips. The chemical burns. The ink marks. The quiet proof of obsession.
"Oh," you smiled softly. "It's you."
Lohen blinked.
Varka shoved him forward. "Apologise to the lady Lohen."
Oh. So his name was Lohen.
The boy looked deeply offended. "I don't want to."
"Apologize." The Grand Master repeated, his gaze cold.
Lohen sighed dramatically. Then glanced toward you. "...Sorry for poisoning you."
You immediately shook your head, a small laugh escaping your lips. "There is so need for apologies. I should be thanking you actually."
Silence.
Even Varka froze.
You continued, brighter now. "The poisons were genuinely fascinating."
Varka looked horrified.
"I learned to make dozens of new antidote!"
Lohen stared. Mesmerized.
"Also the toxins were quite creative! Honestly, every morning became something to look forward to."
Varka took a breath, and turned his gaze to the ceiling, perhaps praying to Barbatos why they allowed these two people to exist.
"Also the notes were fun!" you added, opening your drawer and placing a the stack of notes you had carefully stapled.
Lohen wasn't even listening anymore.
Because you were smiling.
At him.
Because of him.
Because he had poisoned you.
It was a stupid conversation. The girl in front of him was grateful for poisoning her. It was reckless, idiotic and yet...
At that moment his heart made some several terrible decisions.
He realised.
With a lot of hesitation...
That-
'Oh.'
'Oh no.'
'You were kinda cute.'
He had known your name for months. Known where you worked. Known your habits. Your favorite medicinal herbs. The way your handwriting became messier when excited.
But seeing you in person? Actually talking to you?
He was finished.
Absolutely in love.
That night he didn't sleep. Instead he sat at his desk surrounded by herbs, powders, vials, and failed formulas, staring at his next experiment like it might hold divine answers.
Most men wrote poetry.
Most men gifted flowers.
Most men confessed.
But Lohen was not most men.
He lifted a vial of deep red liquid, watching it swirl under lamplight with a manic smile. "If she barely liked the last one... I'll just make one that is even better."
And thus began the greatest romantic pursuit in history.
Not through gifts or heartfelt letters.
But through an escalating series of increasingly sophisticated poisons.
Lohen's new life goal was simple.
Create a poison so fascinating, so beautiful so perfect....
That when you tasted it—
You'd fall hopelessly in love with its creator.
Unfortunately for him, the only thing you fell in love with was the chemical composition.
Fin
😭 😭 😭 I CANT WITH THIS GUY. I FEEL LIKE HE'S SOMEONE WHO'D GIFT YOU A BOMB CUZ HE LOVES YOU.
Some of the ingredients used r actually toxic while others r just bs. I tried making it as Canon as possible but I'm sure there r some mistakes. Sorry abt tht.
Anyway! Hope you enjoyed! Let me know your thoughts.
Come over here. You can see the entire desert sky from this angle.
Sumpter Beasts walk pretty slowly, so don't go dozing off now. You haven't even seen the best part yet.
Here they come, look! Every time around this hour, you can see flocks of birds gather and soar above the desert. They look so free and graceful, don't they?
If I could turn into a bird and look down on the desert from way up there, I bet I'd discover all sorts of wonderful things!
