nikdevereaux:
“Ah — sorry to tell you this but I completely zoned out, sometime around when you first began that very, very, long statement of yours. So how about this time you start over, attempt to be slightly more intriguing, and I promise to somewhat listen to you this roundabout.”
"I was trying to tell you that there’s bird shit on your shoulder, and the last person you spoke to was too nice to actually let you know. So you’re welcome.”










