everyone deserves sunshine

she/her

[queerpuck]

Yes Supernatural is 15 seasons long but it’s really simple. every season something happens and the world is about to end and one of the main characters goes I have an idea I’M GONNA KILL MYSLEF and that’s it. for 15 seasons. and the gay yearning of course

[gaygoatshane]

happy pride

[bambicoded]

with how deeply physical their bond is, i don't think that hollanov ever bothered to develop a safeword. i do think, though, that they developed-- by accident!-- a physical system to tell each other how they are feeling. and it definitely bleeds into their life outside the bedroom, and it's definitely subconscious at this point, and it definitely makes it into the locker room and onto the ice by the time they're both in ottawa.

which means maybe the centaurs have picked up on the fact that hey, sometimes when shane wants ilya to stop doing something, he taps his arm twice. or if ilya wants shane to move one way, he taps him three times. or if he just wants his attention, its a squeeze. which is all relatively normal, and they probably think its cute that they have an unspoken language for communicating with one another.

and then maybe-- by accident!-- it starts taking root as a thing, and then mindlessly troy or wyatt or bood accidentally double pats shane's arm to get him to stop talking to ilya for a moment, and shane thinks for a moment, that was a weird coincidence, and moves on. but then it happens again, and then maybe luca squeezes his arm to get his attention and then bood taps him three times to get him to move aside so he can walk past and shane feels himself flush to the ears and catches ilya's eyes across the room and ilya definitely noticed that too. so now what? they can't full well ask them to stop without saying, hey, so this was a sex thing. but it'd be weird to let it continue... right?

[lesbianrozanov]

toddler shane refusing to talk after his hockey team lose a game. yuna & david are trying to be encouraging like “bud!! you played so good!!” and shane is ignoring them while climbing into his car seat where he’s going to angrily drink his juice box and then chew on the straw.

[rabbittush]

He’s had a rough day…

[queerpuck]

happy pride month to my bisexual king Ilya Rozanov

As a closeted bi person who also deals with depression I relate so so much to Ilya. I hope I get to be as free as he got to be one day. 🩷💜💙

[russianblush]

#happypridemonth

[capricciosso]

supernatural rewatches are kind of like recession indicators for the soul

[penandinkprincess]

okay but i'm feeling very soft about the idea of yuna taking over managing ilya's career like she does shane's because i'm also thinking about how ilya was always expected to be SILENT when his father was speaking to someone on his behalf, and i feel like his kneejerk reaction, then, when they're at an event and yuna goes "ilya, honey, come over here, i want to introduce you to [big potential sponsorship]" would be to introduce himself and then stay quiet and let her talk. he wouldn't be miserable like when his father would do it, but he literally spent his whole career going "okay, important things about me are being discussed. i have to not contribute now."

and i'm then imagining him being a little startled the first time yuna turns to him and includes him in the discussion on purpose because...oh? you want?? him to speak up here, too??? o-okay. and oh, this is kind of nice, actually, being a team with yuna. she's taking the lead here, but ilya is charming on his own, so they're REALLY doing a great job here, and it's actually kind of?? fun?? picking up the conversational pitches she's tossing to him?? and seeing her be so pleased when he hits them exactly how she wants?? and sets her up for another good move in the conversation?? oh my god?? this feels so nice?? she's clearly so proud of me?? i'm clearly doing a good job by her standards and she's pleased??? i'm having a great time with my mom??? #mymom

and afterwards, i feel like yuna might pull him to a quiet corner or something and just, "you were a little quiet at the start. are you not interested or something? it's okay if you're not." because she's used to having to get answers from shane that way, but ilya is just no! sounds great! thank you. :) anyone else you want to talk to here? :)

ilya just finally having someone who both cares about his career AND about him at the same time.

[aureate-melodies]

Ilya slaviclly repressed Rozanov and Shane autistically repressed Hollander attempt at having a real conversation for 9 years

[trashcanniballecter]

At any given moment Ilya is thinking about 1 of 4 things

Shane Hollander

Hockey (with Shane Hollander)

Sex (also with Shane Hollander)

The Horrors

[queerpuck]

Family Tree (Intro) - Ethel Cain / Ilya Rozanov

[twirlingfreckles]

2026 superwholock equivalent is Heated Rivalry, Interview With The Vampire, and somehow still Supernatural

[1617]

sometimes home is a person

[pomplerrr]

please don't say that

[werepires]

[feaftlikeabeaft]

I wish depression were an emergency. I wish someone could take one look at how sick I am and go “oh my god, we need to get you to a hospital!” and then when we get there I get rushed into surgery and the surgeons say “it’s a good thing you brought her here when you did, this is a seriously advanced case” and then they put me under and spend the next ten hours pulling metres of long, sticky black strands of gunk out of my body, throwing it immediately into an incinerator so that it can’t infect anyone else. And then they could stitch me back up and I could rest a few days, and when I leave the hospital everyone can see how much better I am and they congratulate me saying “well done, you’ve been so brave, I’m so glad you’re ok. I love you.”

[the-uncanny-dag]

Sister post to The Vitamin

[totallyboatless]

I finally figured out how to put words to the detail that makes me deeply obsessed with this exact moment:

(Gif by @hollanderdiaz)

Ilya being a goofball is funny on its own, but it’s the fact that NO ONE is paying attention to him here that elevates it. The kids are already way past him, Shane is watching the kids, literally no one is looking at him. Ilya isn’t performing for anyone here. He came up with a game and is having fun playing it himself, regardless of if he has an audience.

It’s hitting me harder now why Ilya loves being around kids so much. He gets to initiate play with an excuse to use as a shield to his teammates later that it was entirely for the kids and not for him. The kids Ilya plays with have absolutely no idea that they’re seeing a more real version of him than the vast majority of the people in his life.

It’s also why it’s CRUCIAL to have this scene cut together with the All Star game and Ilya playing with Shane on the same team for the first time. It’s the perfect way to communicate to the audience that playing hockey with Shane allows Ilya to find his boyish joy again. Ilya is having the same emotional experience playing hockey with Shane as he is playing shark attack with the kids in the pool.

There’s an interview where Connor says he doesn’t think Ilya really cares about hockey, and this is a demonstration of what I think he means. Shane loves hockey specifically, Yuna loves hockey specifically, Svetlana loves hockey specifically.

Ilya likes competition and play, but he’s only playing hockey because he’s naturally very good at it. Being the best isn’t what keeps him happy—it’s playing with Shane and finding the fun he must have experienced as a child with his mother on the ice before his father turned it into a job.

Anyway this is in my top favorite shots of the entire show for the way it makes me crack up but also feel all that.

[josephinecarttanneur]

Heated Rivalry studies

[hollanderdiaz]

hollanov + definitions