I've noticed something that I think is ironic.
People having a messing accident tend to void more rapidly and forcefully than people messing voluntarily or people with no messing control. This is because in the typical person, the urge to defecate kicks in when the pressure in the rectal ampulla hits c. 18 mmHg and reflex expulsion occurs at c. 55 mmHg. Voluntary voiding takes place in the 18–55 mmHg window, and untrained messing likely occurs toward the lower end, but failure of asserted bowel control generally only occurs at the top end, under maximum pressure.
For the same reason, people having a messing accident tend to have more massive voids than people messing voluntarily or people with no messing control. This is because the main contributor to the pressure in the rectum is the amount of mass it contains; exercising bowel control allows buffered mass to build up, and reflex expulsion and failure of asserted bowel control happens when the rectum hits its mass limit.
I've mentioned before that a full diaper is obvious and a diaper being filled even more so. This is true at all times and is a fact of life with FI, but it is absolutely more relevant early on. Visibility is due to both absolute deviation (a full diaper) and relative change (a diaper being filled). A heavier and more massive mess produces a more obvious butt bump; the more rapid and forceful the mess, the more obvious that the movement in the seat of the pants could not be anything except a diaper getting filled.
Entirely apart from any sounds produced by the body, most diapers, and the clothes over them, make noises while being filled out due to having to flex significantly to accommodate the intrusion, which causes their surfaces to distort and rub up against other surfaces, both of which generate noise. Cloth-backed disposables make a weird little hiss; plastic-backed disposables crinkle; most kinds of waterproof pants creak; onesies hiss; jeans and belts creak.
For obvious reasons, someone who expects to mess their diapers will dress for messy diapers; someone who doesn't won't. My wardrobe is as skirt-heavy as it is because skirts are fantastic at concealing full diapers; if I weren't expecting full diapers I would be more likely to tool around in jeans.
Only certain public bathrooms are really adequate for messy diaper changes — this is especially the case if you're new to it. If you don't know, or don't know how to find out, which bathrooms in your local area are actually suitable, you are likely to spend a significant amount of time frantically looking for one.
Finally, of course, messing your diapers outs you as being in diapers. Filling your diapers looks completely different from having the same accident in your pants (e.g., because the mess conforms to the shape of the seat of the diaper, not the seat of the pants).
This strikes me as ironic because one of probably the top two reasons people don't choose to mess their diapers full-time is they're afraid it will be noticed — but of all the times you ever fill your diapers, the ones most likely to be noticed are the ones you don't intend and therefore don't expect and don't prepare for.
I'm writing this partly because I've literally been there a couple of times for accidents that people had in the phase where they weren't prepared for them, and both individuals, despite essentially startling and flinching, then immediately exerted an immense degree of effort to play it off like nothing had happened, and I was just like, internally ... your emotional maturity and self-control are great, but you still just unintentionally filled your diapers and I still just watched you do it. The only person here you're maybe kind of fooling is yourself.
I'm also writing this partly because it's surprisingly not uncommon among people who paused at wetting and then proceeded to messing — having initially refrained from untraining messing because they wanted to maintain a level of secrecy in certain circumstances or around certain people, and then having a completely unplanned failure of bowel control in circumstances which made their initial plan for secrecy moot.
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