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Van Gogh Museum Amsterdam, Entrance Ticket, July 2015

Climate change is like someone comes up to you and tells you your super strict aunt is visiting, but your house has seen 3 parties over the weekend and is a mess. You’re not quite sure if the person is serious or not, some people say ‘QUICK! We need to tidy the house NOW! She’ll be here in an HOUR!’ and other people say ‘Your aunt isn’t visiting, it’s all a huge lie, and besides, the house is still habitable!’

Sure, you can work around the pizza trodden into the carpet, maybe lay a rug over the teenager vomit, wear shoes so the spilled beer doesn’t soak into your socks.

But if you spend a little time and effort cleaning the house, even if your aunt isn’t coming, you still have a lovely clean house! If you keep measures in place to keep it clean, no more wild parties, a few storage baskets, invest in a roomba, it’ll stay clean for when your children live there too.

And if your aunt is actually coming, and you DON’T clean the house, you’re totally and utterly and without question, fucked.

wizardshark

By the way during this whole extended metaphor your aunt is, at that very moment, knocking on the door. And people are still yelling that she’s not actually coming

monkey-network

1o9

glumshoe

My third grade school counselor: “Your parents and teachers say you seem stressed. Can you point to the smiley or frowny face on this chart that best represents how you feel most of the time?”

Me, absolutely haunted with uneasiness about the future of the human species and the degradation of Earth’s biosphere, constantly contemplating what awareness of the possibility of extinction means for us and our behavior towards each other and the world around us: “Um. That one, I guess.”

My counselor: “Your mood will improve with proper nutrition. Make sure you get a complete breakfast every morning.”