One day I will have a daughter
One day there will be a little bundle with big eyes and tiny toes
One day there will be a small voice calling you Granny
And on that day, Mother, when she comes into our lives and changes our world there is a conversation that you and I will need to have
Because you will not treat her the way you have treated me
You will not make her feel the way you’ve made me feel
This is the day that I will sit you down and tell you that your insecurities are your insecurities
And yours alone
My little girl’s Granny will never make her feel unbeautiful the way my Mother made me feel
My daughter will know that no scale will ever be able to measure her worth
And that the opinions of others do not dictate her value
You will never say to her “every woman hates something about herself” the way you said to me
And if she should have brothers you will not teach her subordination the way you tried to teach me
You will never expect housework from her while her brothers play video games
You will understand that being her grandmother does not give you any special right to her that she is not comfortable with
You will never utter the word “slut” in her presence
And, no matter what choices she makes, you will never call her unladylike
The way you did with me
You will teach her kindness
You will teach her the value of helping another human being just for the sheer satisfaction
You will teach her the importance of hard work
You will tell her the story of the little girl who crossed an ocean. You will tell her the story of the family who gave up everything to build a new life
And what a life they built
You will teach her that sometimes you have to do the big, scary thing
Sometimes you have to take the risk
You will teach her to sing whether other people like the sound of her voice or not and you will teach her the words to all your favourite songs and they will become her favourite songs
And you will teach her that home sounds like the people you love singing Christmas songs that aren’t Christmas songs
You will teach her to love Christmas in that silly way you do
You will teach her to stand up for herself because she deserves respect
You will always support her dreams, no matter how crazy
You will love her
And you will teach her the importance of family
The way you did with me