[danascullly]

Only Murders in the Building | Season 5 Episode 4 - Dirty Birds Written by Kristin Newman

[distinguishedbaloney]

[eilooxara]

Non cooking spray stick

[eilooxara]

Non spray stick cooking

[that-house]

Non cooking stick spray

[yeahokayillreblogthat]

yeah okay ill reblog that

[autism-official]

[beardedmrbean]

Scientists invented a fake disease. AI told people it was real: Nature.com

I'm a bit frightened for the time when someone less ethical than the person that did this decides to repeat the experiment but leave out the part where they come in later and announce that it was fake and people wind up diagnosed with the fake condition and all kinds of wacky hi jinks ensues.

[talesfromtreatment]

I... I don't think the patient's weight got entered correctly. Just a hunch

[wimpud]

please, my dog, he is sick

[talesfromtreatment]

Every single note and comment is comedy gold and I'm wheezing from laughing so hard

[awaggaa]

[wizardshark]

99% of queer discourse stops right before they define the true difference between bisexual and pansexual!

[saspitite]

FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME

BISEXUALS GROW FROM THE GROUND

PANSEXUALS GROW FROM THE CEILING

[aflo]

A standard porno with the bad acting and music and whatnot but partway through the action the camera pans to a millipede and hunting spider locked in a duel for survival, the sounds of sex fade out and the scene in the background blurs, epic battle music starts to play

[brainstreams]

no career is safe now which means your obsessions are the only thing that will carry you through

[the-uss-premise]

Console buttons from Star Trek: The Original Series (1966-69)

[dark-magician-girl-meets-world]

Culturally significant forbidden candy

[twinktorturer]

the most sexual emotion a man can feel is fear

[browsingfreakshit]

Now why would Tumblr user twinktorturer say something like this

[wazkalia]

FIRE DEPT DAY AGAIN I'M WHERE THEY GIVE BIRTH TO NEW FIREMEN

[wazkalia]

THE FIRE HUMAN BUILDING

[wazkalia]

One of them has a lil squirtle in a "break in case of fire" case omg

He's just squished in there

[wazkalia]

One of the arson detectives has a dragon???? SIR THAT STARTS FIRES?!!!

[wazkalia]

Wise words on the wall of the next guy:

"It's better to wake up and pee, than to pee and wake up."

[nicothespy]

oh tumblr staff definitely noticed the transphobe allegations and put the entire lgbtq+ in it LMAO

[tzikeh]

More examples of the WORST mansplaining here.

[useyourblinker]

This might be my favorite

[lotsofcatsandcheapwine]

This is mine

[stockyardsyndrome]

[trickstarbrave]

BITING YOU BITING YOU BITING YOU

[pettycentral]

[cognitohazardous]

i want an isekai anime where the guy dies and just goes to hell

[cognitohazardous]

in this one dante gets run over by a horse drawn cart

[cryptotheism]

In The Middle Of The Journey Of Our Life, I Came To Myself In A Dark Wood Where The Direct Way Was Lost And Now I'm In Hell With Virgil????

[atomic-chronoscaph]

Bea Arthur and Mel Brooks - History of the World, Part I (1981)

[ambidisastrous]

every major structural social problem right now is basically "we don't have enough skilled workers on the ground" and the reason is always "well we've been intentionally underpaying and understaffng them for decades to increase corporate profits" and somehow the news always just mentions the "shortage" without digging into the cause

air travel is a mess? shortage of air traffic controllers - for some mysterious reason

logistics a mess? shortage of truck drivers - for some mysterious reason

public transit can't meet demand? shortage of bus drivers - for some mysterious reason

We even mysteriously have shortages of doctors, nurses, teachers... FOR SOME MYSTERIOUS REASON

FUCKING PAY PEOPLE AND HIRE ENOUGH STAFF

[moniquill]

Yes and: Make education more affordable and achievable!!