Really, Captain?

'Sign here please' Captain's Yeoman Currently of USS Enterprise Done with your shit

[pxthos-deactivated20140224]

"Captain," Janice says with a stiff nod -- it wasn't anything to do with attitude, she was just genuinely stiff. Getting accidentally dumped over the edge of a cliff on an away mission she hadn't supposed to been on would do that. "I need you to sign these things." She shifts uncomfortably, rolling her shoulders back as the grumbled at her about how tender and sore they were.

               ' What am I signing for exactly? ' 

     ( Even as he asked the question he signed, handing it back to the yeoman in one smooth motion. He assumed it was for clearance for the Medical supplies the good doctor had been nagging him about. ) 

[signheresir]

"CO approval for Interspecies Relations, a memo for the Admiralty about the Tryul Incident, and approval for my pay raise."  She didn't miss a beat. Two of the three of those were even the truth. 

[jundlcndwastesmoved1]

"I don’t know why everyone keeps flipping out. If tribbles are so bad, why do I keep finding them on the ship?"

[signheresir]

      "Same reason people can slice off their foot while giving a safety lecture -- they are stupid."

[jamesfuckingkirk-deactivated201]

JAMES TIBERIUS KIRK! [ she's coming for you, Jim. Run ]

—I DIDN’T DO IT! 

[signheresir]

#wait… I always behave

  That is the biggest fib I’ve ever heard. 

[jamesfuckingkirk-deactivated201]

Really? That’s the biggest fib you’ve ever heard. Not “I’ll just put the tip in, I promise”?

[signheresir]

No, see, I always go all in.

[jamesfuckingkirk-deactivated201]

JAMES TIBERIUS KIRK! [ she's coming for you, Jim. Run ]

—I DIDN’T DO IT! 

[jamesfuckingkirk-deactivated201]

[signheresir]

#wait... I always behave

  That is the biggest fib I've ever heard. 

[jamesfuckingkirk-deactivated201]

JAMES TIBERIUS KIRK! [ she's coming for you, Jim. Run ]

—I DIDN’T DO IT! 

[jamesfuckingkirk-deactivated201]

[signheresir]

[jamesfuckingkirk-deactivated201]

JAMES TIBERIUS KIRK! [ she's coming for you, Jim. Run ]

—I DIDN’T DO IT! 

[signheresir]

[signheresir]

       [ Grumbles about fancy dinners with alien dignitaries where she won't eat in favor of making sure Jim doesn't marry himself off again. They had another one tonight, and with the forewarning that the dignitary in question had several eligible (and very attractive) children, Janice knew she'd have her hands full. ]

I did not sign up for this!

[diplomaticwarrior-deactivated20]

p e r s e p h o n e

The Enterprise’s patrol remains silence as it had for the last two days. When the crew is calm at this point, Kirk finds it unsettling. He isn’t opposed to a little R&R for his crew, yet he doesn’t like the fact that they are taking this time to be lazy. Tests are made in order to keep the crew on their toes. 

Kirk sits in the captain’s chair, listening to the process of the battle ready test via the comm link. It concludes to be at 93%, thus Kirk speaks up, “I want it at 100%. One more time.”

They might groan, though they won’t when they survive a battle with zero casualties. From behind, he hears the sound of the turbolift opening and he turns in his chair to face the newcomer to the bridge. Upon seeing his yeoman, he gives her a warm smile.

"Yes, yeoman, what do you have for me?"

[signheresir]

Someone people looked at Janice's life of being a glorified cross between secretary and officer-herder (somewhat like a cat herder, only officers were even more stubborn and full of themselves) and simply couldn't understand the appeal. She had long ago given up on trying to explain her real reason behind enjoying her job so much, and instead she explained it through the intersection of two simple facts.

She could see the universe and get paid for her travel

Yeoman did not have battle stations.

Well, number two wasn't precisely accurate. She did have a battle stations, but it consisted of getting out of the way of those who had other things to do, be on hand to help medical with casualties, and try to stay in a place that wasn't going to get blown up. 

Not the most glamorous or heroic job in a fight, but Janice hadn't signed up to Starfleet to be a hero.  

A happy byproduct of this meant her duties were minimal during the battle tests -- that is, she didn't have additional duties of running around, priming weapons to be fired at imaginary weapons or going through triage drills. She was free to do her work uninterrupted. 

With the Captain running this particular drill seemingly endlessly, that meant she had time to put together a really nice lunch for him. Which was good -- it might soften the blow of the reports the admiralty was demanding. 

Grinning back at him, she showed him the tray of food. "I convinced the cooks that one hamburger wasn't going to kill you, no matter what Dr. McCoy says and that they could make an exception for once. Even secured you an apple to make sure the good doctor doesn't come bothering you about it. For today at least."

[thewinningscenario]

"Well, I thank you for that," he answered with a pleasant chuckle, his eyes creased. "Although, really? I’ll go back to the original question: what makes you think I’ve been sad lately?"

[signheresir]

She shrugs again. "I'm not sure sir. Just an impression. Maybe a decreased frequency in teasing." She smiles at him. 

"I apologize if I was mistaken. I can cease the baked goods if they aren't needed."

[thewinningscenario]

[signheresir]

[simplyfoodgifs-deactivated20150]

[simplyfoodgifs-deactivated20150]

Chocolate lava cake x

[f-o-o-d-p-o-r-n]

[harbingerofpeace-deactivated201]

Meat is an important part of the diet, it’s on the nutrition triangle.

(Smooth, Captain)

So, you believe Mister Spock is a real man?

(Now he’s just teasing her.)

[signheresir]

[ She frowns at him ]

     In so far that he is a Vulcan male, and an admittedly attractive one, yes.

[signheresir]

And yet real men do it all the time. 

      [ She gives him the sweetest, brightest smile she can ]

[harbingerofpeace-deactivated201]

Real men? Explain, yeoman.

[signheresir]

[ She flushes a bit; she hadn't really mean to say that ]

   I only mean sir, that the idea that men need meat to function is ridiculous. There are plenty of vegetarians on the ship, including your own XO.

[harbingerofpeace-deactivated201]

You wound me, Yeoman. A man can’t function on greens.

[signheresir]

And yet real men do it all the time. 

      [ She gives him the sweetest, brightest smile she can ]

[harbingerofpeace-deactivated201]

(Kirk is swaying his chair whilst he waits for Janice to return. At the sound of the door opening, he sits up in his seat and smiles at the cup of pudding. Of course, his fantasies got the better of him, again.)

This is the highlight of my day, Janice.

(A joke.)

[signheresir]

[ Handing him his prize, she shakes her head ]

         Don't get too excited. It's only a cup of pudding. Tomorrow it's back to normal, high fiber, low fat, Doctor Approved all around.