Trigger/content warning for this ask: CNCSA*, SA*, mentioned below:
Hey! Sending this in response to your last post and the question you posed in it.
First off, I'd like to start this off by saying you aren't ‘being dramatic’, and that your feelings on any of that are never wrong to have or not have, whatever they may be. There is no way you are ‘meant’ to feel or not feel.
The legalities of that question likely vary from place to place, so I won't bother trying to get into all of that.
What I will say, however, is that I can completely understand how that would've been extremely uncomfortable and even scary for you, it would be for anyone in the same situation!
As someone who has experienced something I believe could fall under the definition of CNCSA*, as well as some things similar to what you're voicing, i feel in some circumstances putting a specific label on what happened matters less. Not every situation is cut and dry. I would try not to put too much stress on yourself over the whole thing.
If what happened affects your life and is taking up space in your mind, consider speaking with a trusted friend, adult, or councilor about this. If it doesn't, I'd say that's great!
What happened was wrong, and it's definitely not appropriate. it's good and healthy that you can acknowledge this! I feel like it's not up to me or anyone outside of yourself or a professional to decide or discern how you should feel about it or if that was *SA, that of course depends on your own perception of the events.
I can say that you definitely aren't alone, though. While not an identical situation, but when I was younger (around 6 or 7 if I remember correctly) and I had a “boyfriend” (in quotes because it's not really dating at the age lol) and for whatever reason, for at least the span of a week or longer we took to kissing at recess. One day I decided I didn't want to kiss him anymore, so I told him as much, and he decided he didn't care and took to chasing me down to try and do just that, so, obviously, I turned around and kinda bit him- which stopped the situation and made him leave me alone. I'm dumbing the story down a bit to keep it short, but when I typically tell this story, it's in a humorous light because it simply doesn't affect me negatively whatsoever. It's mainly just “that time I bit a kid”, in my mind. Even soon after this had happened, I remember laughing with my friends as I recounted it, because past the initial panic of the situation I'm sure was felt, none of that is lasting when I think back to it, unlike some other experiences I've had that are significantly harder to talk about. That doesn't make the situation OK, but it doesn't affect me to this day so I personally wouldn't label it in any type of serious way, but someone else might feel differently or more intensely around the whole thing, and that would be totally understandable and valid!
It's a tricky thing to say for sure. Your question really did make me think, i'll be honest. Since if that situation happened between two adults/older teens, it would be very easy to label as *SA. Anyone trying to force themselves on another person to kiss them is insane, and most people would be able to see that. Not to mention to go as far as to chase them over it.
I apologize if none of that is able to give a clear cut answer to your question, but if you take anything away from my message, be it this: What happened was never and will never be your fault, but i do hope that in the future if someone makes you feel repetitively uncomfortable you will have the care and respect for yourself to not just put up with it. You are important, and so are your boundaries. If anything like that happens again, it is best to tell a trusted adult who can do something to help (teachers, guardians, counselors, nurses, bosses, etc).
With all that said, i hope you're doing alright, and what i said at least was the slightest bit helpful, lol. Peace and love wherever you are in the world, take care<33
(*CNCSA- stands for child on child Sexual abuse, though in this message i am using it interchangely with assault as you did in your original post)
(*SA- stands for sexual assault)
Thank you so much!! It isn’t on my mind THAT much plus he isnt at my school anymore!
Thank you so much for this kind message! :]
