Things to do with your twin
No title available
Sweet Seals For You, Always

ellievsbear
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

Discoholic 🪩

No title available

No title available
will byers stan first human second
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

if i look back, i am lost
Monterey Bay Aquarium

tannertan36
Mike Driver
KIROKAZE
No title available
Not today Justin

Andulka
h

Kiana Khansmith
RMH
seen from United States

seen from Switzerland
seen from United States

seen from Malaysia

seen from Malaysia
seen from United States

seen from Malaysia

seen from United Kingdom
seen from Mexico
seen from United States
seen from Canada

seen from China
seen from Bulgaria
seen from Ukraine

seen from Ukraine
seen from United States

seen from United Kingdom

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Singapore
@silvan-sparks
Things to do with your twin
parenting commitment level 3000
apparently a requirement for working at poison control is a talent for stand-up comedy
When I was training to be a paramedic, we had one student ask the instructor what to do in the event of a marijuana overdose. The instructor said "Tell him to take two twinkies and call you in the morning."
Okay, there's a good reason for this though!
If the Please Do Not Eat That Professional thinks it's inconsequential enough to be funny, then the concerned caller knows it's no big deal. When I was a kid my mom called poison control because I ate not one but several crayons, and their advice was to make sure I didn't stray too far from a toilet for a few hours because suppositories are made of wax, too.
Also several years ago I ate half a sandwich while wondering why the hell it tasted so funny only to realize the Goo Gone I'd been cleaning with was leaking, and did so onto my sandwich. Poison Control now has an online form where you can put in what you ingested/how much/when/etc. and someone basically triages those out, so the kid who just drank a bunch of drain cleaner isn't in line behind the kid who ate a crayon. I got a call like twenty minutes later from a nurse who told me I was fine.
Oh! And if you want to know what the tool looks like, it now gives a "this is not a real case" option to let you test it out, so I became a hypothetical worried patient who accidentally took 1000mg of ibuprofen (max dose should be 800) instead of 1000mg of acetaminophen (which has a max dose of 1000) and ran the entire thing. It took me less than two minutes from this:
To this:
Below this screenshot I was advised to drink some water and that if symptoms developed in the next four hours, I should only be concerned in certain cases (e.g. nausea is normal, heart palpitations are a problem).
So what if it's a serious problem? Suddenly, hypothetical Nina was cleaning xir bathroom sink and got hit with some Drano splashback with xir eyes and mouth open! Here's what the tool suggested. As soon as I selected that I'd gotten Drano in my eyes, this popped up:
So I hypothetically went to rinse my eyes, came back, and indicated it'd also gotten into my mouth and onto my skin. Here was the result:
And finally, hypothetical!Nina made an extremely bad decision, then decided this wasn't how xe wanted things to end after all. So I selected the option that says I'd attempted self-harm, and this popped up. (I didn't get it in the screenshot, but there's a drawing of a sad snail at the top of the screen. I think it's supposed to remind you someone is there, this just isn't the best route to reach them.)
The tool covers literally thousands of substances, and it's fast to use. It'll ask your age, assigned sex at birth, what you were exposed to, how (ate/drank it, breathed it in, got it in your eyes, etc.), how much you were exposed to, how long ago, whether you notice any symptoms, and what zip code you're in. That's it, and it's right here if you need it, and as they told me when I said I felt dumb over my Goo Gone-ified sandwich, they'd rather I check and be fine than not check because I "felt silly" and end up dead.
Asexuals were always part of pride and it really fucking shows when people think it's a recent term.
Although not going by the term "asexual" yet, asexuality was spoken about alongside homosexuality as far back as the 1890s. Asexual history is just as vital to queer history as any other term and I'm so tired of watching us being treated like a new thing
This image is so so fucking important to me
Reblog this, cowards
Lesbian Jewish-Hindu Wedding
I’M SORRY BUT THE DESIGN SLAPS??
THE COMPOSITION
THE BALANCE
THE SILHOUETTE
i have a suggestion
I did some studies of some glassware pics after a very long drought of no drawing at all. pls enjoy
I enjoy a joke about fucked up German fairy tales as much as the next nerd, but it's genuinely striking how often the source for the really fucked up stuff turns out to be "yeah, this is only in the Brothers Grimm version and doesn't appear in any extant oral tradition, and we're like 80% sure they added it themselves". To a large extent it's not German fairy tales that are fucked up, it's two specific German dudes.
in retrospect we probably should have given the fairy tale writing to the Brothers Happy instead
my family fucked up my life by using spoonerisms interchangeably with their true phrase counterparts since before i was born and now i can’t escape from instinctively saying shit like “im gonna shake a tower”
oh “meeking a smee” made me feel like i was being fucking tazed
theres a lot of people on this website who dont realize their dad is a gnome
It's pride month so I'll allow myself to express one opinion on the internet :
There are no "exact color" of pride flags.
I see more and more sites and posts talking about the exact hex codes for the lesbian flag, or the right purple for the ace one, and how it should be more or less saturated and I just want to say: pride flags were meant to be sewn in your kitchen. To be spraypainted and to be recognised.
There are no "exact colors" of pride flags because you should do them with what you have ! Nobody should care if you use a crimson red instead of a cherry red or whatever ! Be free ! wave your colors ! The colors you have !
things to say after fucking up egregiously
pack it up boys we've made a social blunder
let's run that again
one more time normal style
I'm going to become a statistic
further proof god is out to get me
it's because I tore my acl senior year
I couldn't do it for religious reasons
my ex took my talent in the divorce
good thing nobody saw that (said directly to someone who definitely saw it)
Posting this iconic piece of media that I just NEVER found online isolated except in an archived reddit thread
Arvind Patel, a Hindu convenience store owner, stands in front of his store with the sign “Shabbos Goy Available Shabbat Shalom” above him in Queens, New York, New York; 2016. x
A Shabbos goy, or Shabbat goy, is a non-Jew who performs certain types of work which Jewish religious law prevents a Jewish from doing on the Sabbath. A Shabbos goy cannot perform just any work for a Jewish person on Shabbat; they are only allowed to do certain things within specific parameters. A Shabbos Goy, for example, cannot work for a Jewish person on Shabbat, as the Jewish person will be directly receiving a benefit from the labor and thus it would be like if the Jewish person did the work themselves. A Shabbos Goy can, for example, do work which would prevent a great many Jewish people from breaking the Sabbath such as repairing a broken eruv. For more specifics on what a Shabbos Goy can or can’t do, click here.
Shabbat Shalom from all of us at the Jewish Virtual Library!
Various Purim memes for ya'll:
[id in alt text]
I attempted some of my own.
I also attempted to add alt text, I hope it didn't come out too messy:
Based this one on a Midrash but I think it works if you don't know it:
And a somewhat less lighthearted one:
I happened to see Purim described as "Jews celebrating mass murder." I hope it was a joke. Purim is very specifically described in the Megilla to NOT be celebrated the day the Jewish people fought to defend themselves.
YES YES EXCELLENT I'M CACKLING AT THESE. I love the Gru so much lmaooooo
More memes....
[id in alt text]