@butwhypants - Tumblr Blog

you gotta start rambling in those tags bestie how else are you going to get that blogger to follow you back and your mutuals to fall in love with you #GetYapping

#on it boss

superdaisypowerhour

"if i had a time machine i would go back in time and kill hitler"

I would put sea mines around medieval britain. i would give hannibal barca ww2 era heavy artillery and tell him not to stop till he starts seeing gauls. i would give boudica a fucking abrams. i would appear before jesus like an angel and tell him "you gotta stop. not cause theyll kill you, youre fine with that, surprisingly, but because your fanclub is gonna spend about 1500 years making everything worse for everyone, everywhere." I would take a glock back in time and shoot romulus, shoot remus, and shoot that damn dog too just to be safe. i would be on the side of christopher columbus' ship in a scuba suit planting c4 on that bitch like rainbow six siege. i would be waging a one woman campaign of terror across andalusia to prevent the reconquista. i would be getting way out in front of that shit is what im saying,

#this is quite literally the plot of the greatest bad scifi novel ever written #you should read pastwatch oughooo hypnotizing ray...#and then think critically about every narrative choice the homophobic mormon author made in that story #anyways my dad made me learn archery 'in case you find yourself on the walls' so he might have known something i didn't

karatekamania

im terrible at being a real person but i think i'd make an excellent fictional character

karatekamania

i want to see the symbolism ppl would weave into the fanart of me. i want to see who id be shipped with. i want to see what discourse ppl would have about me.

#I would be so good as the weird best friend who dies in act 4 #like a dead wife but marginally less sexy except to gigabrains on ao3 #my ships eclipse the bland main love interest and someone writes a bad calloutpost on twitter.com that gets them doxxed #the discourse about me would be awful I think #I would be so good at being unreal though you have no idea

thisisalovestry

this made me cry so now i need everyone to see it

#physical poems my beloved #the shape is everything to me

yoursminehourss

honestly i think im good without that thanks

#TRY IT

krafterwrites

silkysousaphone

#mount fujoshi? sure I can do that

tvguts

something about Toy Story toys is so strange to me. versions of animated characters based on real world toys, turned back into toys that are slightly different than the actual toys. slinky dog with a rubber spiral instead of a classic metal slinky. the porcelain bo peep and cloth woody turned into jointed plastic action figures. when toy story 4 came out and i saw a $30 talking action figure of forky, a character made out of a spork and a pipe cleaner, i stood in the walmart toy aisle staring at it like cameron from ferris bueller's day off staring at that painting in the art museum

#it's nostalgia cosplay by children on behalf of their parents #this is true about many things

teaboot

Do you think Clark Kent's first few major articles were about the continued presence of lead pipes in parts of Metropolis' water system

teaboot

(Average Metropolis reader after investigative reporter C. Kent's 452nd article on yet another case of landlords/business owners/factories' continued use of lead pipes/paint/gas/glass knowingly exposing the public to dangerously toxic lead levels) what the fuck happened to this guy

teaboot

One day Bruce Wayne mentions in an interview that heroes like Superman are overrated, as the most effective way to reduce crime is to provide public resources and improve local infrastructure, then cites how neighboring city Metropolis has effectively lowered their violent crime by 13% after addressing their outdated water system and investing low income housing. the reporter conducting the interview suddenly starts looking a little uncomfortable

teaboot

To be clear, Clark is still a fantastic investigative reporter. He still has to track down the sources to prove all this shit

teaboot

"Who, Clark Kent? Yeah, we're pretty sure he's a Meta. Is he a superhero? Like what, "Lead-detector guy"? "Captain pipes?" Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy and it's a handy trick, but it's lead detection, not laser vision. He's not about to go running around in tights any time soon."

sindri42

I just love the idea of a cape maintaining their secret identity by pretending to be a completely different and less impressive kind of parahuman.

roach-works

everyone assumes that kent is so squirrely around superheros because he’s just desperately hoping not to be conscripted to the JLA to fix their plumbing

teaboot

Local Metropolis Reporter Publically Recognized For Contributions To The City; Awarded Medal Of Distinction

championofdnd

They tried to get superman to present the medal but he was offended at being called "overrated" in comparison to Clark so he declined

teaboot

Counter offer: Bruce Wayne disguised as Superman

teaboot

beating this dead horse with memes

everythingismadeofchaos

Hey this was a real fun little read. It's so great to find these treasures on this site

teaboot

We’re happy to have you!

#this is genuinely what classic superman was like #he blew up an apartment complex because the landlord was an asshole #like a cheering crowd of civilians while the actual literal US army tries to stop him #love that guy

@illusion-of-death

(USAmerican trying to imagine a societal environment) Okay, so picture a highway,

fishmech

inability to correctly perceive 3d objects is in fact far more dangerous when someone is driving a car next to you then when they're like, sending emails to you.

bunniope

can we focus on the gnome for a second

bunniope

wait sorry i was not wearing my glasses. that is a cat

ladyofspoons

these are the people i have to share a highway with

#this post is a carwreck

skeletonsiro

in our copy of hana-bi the subtitles never leave the screen until something else is said

hickeywiththegoodhair

dude’s fucking TORN about whether or not to buy a beret

#this is what Prince was singing about I think

jaypilled

are those my only options

prower-labs

#they asked me this in highschool

spin-the-wheel-polls

Stuck in a historical war

You are stuck as a soldier in this historical war

(this is a magical universe where people who wouldn't usually be able to fight would. so you can all suffer.)

How are you doing?

good somehow

I might survive

dead

results/other

Remaining time: 2 days 23 hours

#the lobster war??? ain't that the like minor diplomatic incident???#yeah 0 casualties on either side #come on now I want to kill and/or be killed let me choke on my own vomit. booo

mariacallous

#he's saying this in defense of Nixon btw

a-drifting-boat

It's amusing that griddlehark is obviously a way more fucked up and disturbing ship than harrianthe, but the fandom has made harrianthe's toxicity into a meme while giving griddlehark the sweet soft cuddly treatment. I am convinced this was entirely intentional on Tamsyn Muir's part.