[thischarmingdog]

my advice for women is eat more, shave less, and do whatever the fuck you want

[rat-in-impossible-location]

One of the rat groups I'm in is now being run by bots, and you can really tell this particular brand of AI slop is optimized for dog and cat groups.

[myothertardisisonthemun]

With such AI rubbish on the page, I would have expected everyone to flee that sinking ship like, uh...

[twinklecupcake]

Suddenly thinking of 1989’s The Little Mermaid and you know what, give Eric some props here because he had the weirdest fucking hour of his life—

Wakes up from hypnosis where he was about to marry a woman he’s never seen before with his mystery girl’s voice, the instant he wakes up then the cute girl he’s actually fallen in love with now has that voice. Then she drops to the floor and has a fish tail, and then the first girl is suddenly cackling “too late!” and bursting out of her skin. So it turns out she’s actually an octopus woman who drags herself over to the real mystery girl - who’s a mermaid?! They’re real?! - and taking her back into the ocean. And Eric has no idea what’s going on here but okay, one of these women is clearly evil and he needs to go after his mystery girl.

And all of this happens/he realizes what he has to do within like, a single minute.

Prior to this he was just living out a sweet romance after having a Meet Cute with a shipwrecked girl, but okay, guess he’s involved in whatever the fuck this is. Acting first, questioning later.

And this is all before the kaiju attacks.

[twinklecupcake]

And let's also remember that Eric is one of the few Disney heroes who actively, deliberately murdered the villain.

He went "Okay then" and killed.

[disgruntledexplainer]

I would say killed the villain, not murdered. Murder implies that it was premeditated and out of malice. Eric was defending his girlfriend's life while Ursula was attempting to murder her. He was well and fully justified in his actions.

[angelfishcake]

In legal terms, 1st degree murder is any murder that is premeditated, even if the premeditation was only for a minute. 2nd degree murder involves no premeditation but resulting in a deliberate action to cause harm. 3rd degree/manslaughter is purely accidentally and/or a result of gross negligence.

With this in mind, it's safe to say that Eric did murder Ursula, as he deliberately steered the ship to impale her with the bowsprit, but would be pardoned on account that he was defending the life of another (Ariel).

[twinklecupcake]

THIS IS ALSO TRUE.

[mrsterlingeverything]

I feel like the systems in place want to punish me for being crazy unreliable hateful antisocial avoidant and paranoid which is kind of stupid to me. But whatever

[monkey-overalls]

[the-nyanguard-party]

everyone is always fighting and hurting each other. i will put an end to this through conquest and subjugation

[hexbugswallower]

I really enjoy the embryonic-stage xkcd comics from before randall munroe knew how to make them funny

[shitposting-hobbits-to-gallifrey]

I still think about this one on a regular basis

[seabassapologist]

never forget

[yorgen-sh]

The Chinese shoe manufacturer decided to demonstrate the indestructibility of their shoes

[scarlettohairdye]

And also the indestructibility of that woman's ankles

[deadpowol]

[spiribia]

It probably is kind of fun to be a parent bird and find big fat bugs to put in your child’s goalpost mouth. And the more you do it the larger your baby gets, which shows your progress. Mine is reaally big, think I’m going to get a high score this time. It has a unique skin too, I’ve never even seen this one before. Has anyone gotten that one, dark brown and white belly with stripes? It’s not even in my Wrenpedia, it has to be a really special unlock

[spiribia]

I’d appreciate if you didn’t call my child a “parasite”, thank you very much! Typical r/childfree

[fuck-customers]

[gooseworx]

Do you have any fun facts about my beautiful majestic gorgeous amazing stunning queen Ragatha??

She 100% referred to Zooble exclusively as she/her the first few weeks of them being there, and once she learned they were nonbinary from everyone else, she apologized relentlessly for three solid days.

[h3lllh0undart]

My contribution

[8rgan]

🐇

[etiennelux]

reading a negative review of something you love written by a person who very clearly didn’t understand it at all

[t-valentines]

reading a positive review of something you love written by a person who very clearly didn’t understand it at all

[jabberwockypie]

Reading a negative review of something you hate by someone who very clearly didn't understand it at all and hates it for the wrong reasons

[wronglystarryoasis]

funniest shit I’ve seen all day

[shivers-sketches]

The tadc / simpsons crossover that no one asked for

Kofi

[bladeweave]

you gotta start rambling in those tags bestie how else are you going to get that blogger to follow you back and your mutuals to fall in love with you #GetYapping