@torchwitch sent: [ touch ] for your muse to rest their forehead against mine’s (for Qifrey)
This wasn’t the first time. And it sure as hell wouldn’t be the last time. But just how many more times could Qifrey handle to slip up and say the wrong thing, which would make the smart witch of the Torch figure things out, which would lead to yet another memory wipe. And another. And another.
Just like it would happen now. But Qifrey was just so damn tired and seeing Olruggio put himself through this again and again on his behalf.. it felt like his heart was shattering into tiny fragments every time it happened. Well, in a way it was good, because it meant the pain and guilt would keep Qifrey alive, but every time he saw Olruggio go through these various emotions.. first the disbelief, then the anguish once he understood what was happening to Qifrey and that there was no way to fix him, not really.. then the stubborn determination with which Olruggio offered grace and comfort and forgiveness for lying to him.
Olruggio truly was the sky’s kindest, most radiant star. And Qifrey should have stayed far away from him. The last thing he wanted to do was break Olruggio’s heart, he did not want to be the one that plucked the brightest star from the sky and extinguish its light.
Though the truth was, without Olruggio Qifrey would be dead. Or at least.. not human anymore. He would be a tree, standing tall near the Tower of Tomes that had not provided the salvation he had hoped for. Salvation was standing before him and Qifrey refused to take advantage of him any longer.
It was warm here in Olly’s room; it did not matter if they were at the bottom of the ocean, a witch like him would always find a way to make his environment comfortable. How many times had they stayed awake in here, reading, drawing, talking about the future they wanted? Would it be that bad to make Olly’s room his final resting spot?
“No, Olly.. not this time..”, Qifrey whispered as he choked on a barely suppressed sob.
Qifrey could feel the roots of the Silverwood move beneath his skin and soon after the familiar first branch was sprouting from his missing eye. This time he did not try to hide it, he was firm on his decision. This was it. He wouldn’t hurt Olruggio. Never again.
“Olly..”, the white-haired witch said breathlessly, pulling Olruggio closer, against his body so he could feel his warmth one last time as his mind would slip away. Qifrey leaned in, resting their foreheads together. His whole body was trembling, he was scared of what would happen to him now, he wondered if Beldaruit would be upset that Qifrey had not said goodbye or thanked him for everything he had done for the boy.. he wondered what being a tree would be like; would he still be able to feel and hear, would he be able to perceive Olruggio’s presence and weep because he would never be able to make him laugh again?
Qifrey dug his fingers into the soft fabric of Olruggio’s shirt, clinging to the last thing that tethered him to his human form.
“Thank you for everything, Olly. Thank you for never giving up on me and for all the sacrifices you made for me.. but not anymore..”